Faith (Goldwater Creek Mail-Order Brides 1) (9 page)

F
aith stood just
inside the doorway, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the dim light. It was dark, the only light filtering in through the slats of the boards covering the windows and the front door which Jax was now closing.

As her eyes adjusted, she could see that the interior of the building wasn’t in as dilapidated a condition as the exterior. A long bar ran across the back wall, the mirror behind it reflecting shards of light from the windows. Dust motes floated in the shafts of light like fairy dust.

It smelled of old wood and lemons. Someone had been busy cleaning.

She took a tentative step forward, the boards of the floor creaking as tables, chairs and barstools started to take shape before her eyes.

“You’ve been working on this all along, haven’t you?”

Jax nodded. “Me and Ryder and Bessie Mae. Even Rosie has helped out a little bit.”

“Is this where you sneak off to at night?”

Jax’s brows snapped into a frown. “At night? What do you mean? I don’t go anywhere at night.” He looked away from her, feigning interest in arranging the chairs around the table next to him.

That was strange, Faith thought. Why would that make him nervous and if this wasn’t where he snuck off to at night, where did he go?

There was only one other explanation. The gold mine. But she didn’t dare ask about it. It was obvious he didn’t want to share that information with her. Any hope she had of their becoming close enough to share their secrets faded. But what did it matter? It was not meant to be, anyway.

“We need to keep this secret,” Jax continued. “We don’t want Cleb getting any advance notice that this is going to happen. We're afraid of what he might do to the girls.”

“Couldn’t you just open the saloon and have the girls come to work right away. That would put Cleb out of business, wouldn’t it?”

Jax shook his head. “I wish it were that easy. But the town officials need to approve a second saloon and permits and licenses need to be acquired. Cleb has friends in high places. It’s taken us four years to woo the town officials into signing off on the various permits and licenses that are needed. Cleb had many of the officials in his pocket and apparently even all my money couldn’t persuade them to vote in our favor.”

Faith had made her way over to the bar. She ran her index finger down the edge of the smooth mahogany wood. “So what changed?”

“One of the reasons our proposals were not accepted was because the town now wants only solid businesses with respectable owners.”

Faith snorted. “Really? You mean like Cleb?”

“He was running the saloon back in the early days when the town was first founded. There were no rules back then, but now the town has grown and there are bylaws and ordinances and officials to oversee them. I wasn’t always a respectable member of the community, so it’s been an uphill battle for me.”

“And that’s why you sent away for a mail order bride,” Faith said. “You needed me for business purposes. That’s what you said in your letter. You didn’t really care who came as long as it was someone who could make you look respectable.”

Faith stared down at the surface of the bar, fighting back tears. She didn’t know why the realization hurt so much. She’d known what she was getting into in the first place. Jax had been honest in his letters—it was
she
who had been dishonest.

Jax crossed the room to stand beside her. He tilted her chin with his thumb so that she was looking up into his eyes. They were bright with emotion that made Faith’s heart flutter.

“That’s why I sent for you initially, yes. But now that you are here, I feel that we have … something. I can’t help but hope that our marriage could be more than just a business arrangement. Do you feel the same way?”

A fist lodged in Faith’s throat. She desperately wanted their marriage to be something more, but how could it be when she had her sisters to think about? They would always come first over her own wants and needs. And now that she knew there
was
a gold mine, how could she not try to seek out its location so that she could pass it on to Lefty?

“Yes.” The word slipped out from between her lips before she could stop it. And then Jax was leaning toward her, his lips pressing lightly against hers.

Faith’s head spun as Jax slipped his arms around her waist. She shouldn’t be kissing him like this, but she couldn’t help herself. Her arms wound themselves around his neck as he slanted his lips against hers, her mouth parting in a sigh of contentment.

He pulled her closer, his lips more insistent, needy. She melted against him, a coil of heat pooling in her lower belly. Faith was almost beyond all reason when Lefty’s words about making her sisters miserable drifted up into her consciousness. Her heart plummeted and she stiffened in Jax’s arms.

J
ax lost
himself in the kiss. His brain was cautioning him to back off before he lost control, but his heart was urging him forward. It seemed as if Faith was enjoying it as much as he was, judging by her contented mewlings and the way she was pressing her body against his.

He pulled Faith closer.

She stiffened in his arms.

A shock of realization ran through him and he ripped his lips from hers. His heart sank.

Had he gone too far? Been too rough? Dammit, why hadn’t he listened to his own common sense!

He opened his eyes and looked at her. He could see her pulse pounding in the delicate vein on the side of her neck and he had to resist the urge to kiss it. Her breath was coming in short gasps and her lips were swollen from their kiss. He wanted nothing more than to keep kissing her, but he was afraid to scare her off.

He didn’t know what had happened to Faith before, but he knew she’d been mistreated in some way. He didn’t want to be the one to bring back bad memories of that and he certainly wasn’t going to take things further when she stiffened up as if she was terrified.

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t very gentlemanly of me.”

Faith’s hand flew up to her mouth. Jax saw emotion smoldering deep in her eyes. Regret? Passion? But she turned away before he could figure out what it was.

“Oh, that’s okay. We
are
married, after all,” she said.

The words sounded sad and Jax's heart pinched. He wanted to take her in his arms and make the sadness go away but, judging by the way she’d stiffened earlier, he sensed that might not be a good idea. He would have to wait until she was ready.

“Well, what you think?” he asked.

Faith seemed relieved to turn the conversation to less intimate ground. She looked around the saloon nodding her head slowly. “It looks good. And if it will help the girls, then I approve wholeheartedly.”

Jax's heart warmed. At least, in this, he and Faith were of the same mind. “Excellent. I guess we should be getting back.”

“Of course.” Faith started toward the door and Jax followed, taking care not to follow too closely. She was a fast learner, he thought, because she opened the door and peered out onto the sidewalk. She knew enough to make sure no one would see them leave the building.

She turned to him. “The coast is clear.”

They slipped outside and Jax locked the door, then they started back toward the buggy. Jax cursed himself for his impulsive behavior in the saloon, but he hadn’t been able to control himself. He wanted her.

But now Faith was acting distant. Aloof. And it was all because he’d moved too fast. As he helped her up into the buggy she turned those luminescent blue eyes on him and said, “You’re a good man for doing this, Jax.”

His heart was warmed by her words, but her eyes had a sad, haunted look in them that almost made Jax weep.

He’d do anything in his power to get rid of that sad look and for the first time in many years, Jackson 'Jax' Blackburn allowed himself to dare to hope for the future.

F
aith’s heart
warred with her head on the ride home. Her stomach still fluttered and her lips still burned from Jax’s delicious kiss. She wanted more, much more, but Lefty’s threat loomed over her like a dark cloud.

She was grateful that Jax didn’t try to make small talk. Perhaps he sensed her mood. She was learning that he could be very perceptive and she liked that about him. Charles had never seemed to care much about what Faith was feeling. In fact, Jax appeared to be almost the opposite of Charles—kind, perceptive and a good kisser.

The key he’d given her on that first day so that she would feel safe and secure in her locked bedroom pinched her skin under her tight corset. She wondered if there would ever come a time when she would not need that key, or would they continue to walk in opposite directions down the hallway to their separate bedrooms at night.

She had a feeling that the day when they walked in the same direction might be coming soon. At least she certainly hoped so.

But first, she would have to find out some way to satisfy Lefty. Her thoughts drifted to the gold mine. Now that she knew all the talk at the party about permissions and approvals had to do with the saloon, she felt a little better. At least Jax was not about to make anything public, and Lefty would not do anything rash.

But what if there was no mine?

All the secrecy that she’d thought had been about the gold mine had really been about the saloon. If no mine existed, how would she pay off Charles’s debt?

She glanced sideways at Jax. Should she ask about the mine? She was hesitant because she didn’t want to raise his suspicions. He’d given her a packet of gold. How else would he get gold flakes? That practically proved he had a gold mine, although in a mining town one could probably come by gold quite easily.

Either way, she had to tell Lefty
something
. If only she could figure out a way to do it so that she wouldn’t have to betray Jax and could still keep her sisters out of harm’s way.

Maybe she was worrying a lot about nothing. Lefty hadn’t even tried to contact her and the longer she was away from him, the less urgent the whole matter seemed. If she got lucky, she might never even have to follow through.

By the time they pulled up in front of Wild Heart Ranch, Faith’s spirits had lifted considerably. Her thoughts had wandered from Lefty back to the kiss. It had been amazing. The most amazing part was that Jax wanted
her
.

She’d never felt wanted like that with Charles and she knew he hadn't possessed the depths of passion that she’d sensed in Jax. Her lips curled in a smile thinking of how gentle and careful he’d been with her. He’d even apologized, as if he was afraid he’d hurt her.

She appreciated how considerate he was of her when they traveled in the buggy, knowing that she was afraid of horses. He always made sure to keep himself between her and Buttercup.

The tender way he helped her in and out of the buggy spoke of the gentleness underneath his rough, manly exterior. Even now, as he helped her down, his arm lingered on her waist to steady her.

She smiled up into his eyes, the sunlight turning them into a warm golden color. She could almost see deep into the depths of his soul and longed for him to press her lips in another kiss. Her breath caught in her throat. Would he?

“So,
there
you are?”

Faith whirled around at the familiar voice, her stomach swooping as she came face-to-face with Silas O’Toole.

J
ax took
an immediate dislike to the scruffy man standing on his porch. He was never one to judge a man by his looks, and it wasn’t necessarily the man’s appearance as he was dressed decently in linen trousers and a button-down shirt. It was more his demeanor or maybe the look on his face. Jax couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but whatever it was it set him on edge.

The slightly balding man held a black ten gallon hat in his right hand as he studied Faith intently. Clearly he knew her. Jax slid a sideways glance at Faith. Judging by the look on her face, she didn’t seem that happy to see the man.

“I’m Silas O’Toole. An old friend of Faith’s from Boston.” The man switched his hat from his right to his left and held his right hand out toward Jax. His handshake was sweaty and limp.

“Welcome to Wild Heart Ranch,” Jax said, his eyes flicking between Faith and Silas. He was unsure of whether to invite the man in or run him off. “Any friend of my wife’s is certainly welcome here.”

Jax raised a brow at Faith, hoping she’d catch his silent signal to let him know if she really did welcome this strange man.

Faith managed a tight smile. “Silas, how nice of you to come and see me.”

Jax relaxed. Faith was probably just surprised that the man had showed up on their doorstep and, after what had happened in the saloon, she was out of sorts anyway. If Faith was welcoming him, then Jax figured the man posed no immediate threat.

“I see marriage finds you well,” Silas said.

Faith glanced at Jax. “It does.”

Jax slid a protective arm around her shoulders. Even though she was smiling at Silas he got the distinct impression she did not like the man.

“Won’t you come in?” Faith pointed toward the door. “We can have Maisie fix up some refreshments.”

“Oh, no. I have to be on my way. I wanted to come and check in on you and bring you this letter from your sister.” Silas pulled an ivory envelope out of his pocket and held it out to Faith. She stepped forward, plucked it out of his hand and stared down at it. “You got this from my sister?”

“Yep. Your sister, Mercy. She’s doing real fine.”

Faith looked like she wanted to take the envelope and run into the house. Jax wondered what was going on. “Thank you. I’ve been anxious to hear from my family.”

That made sense. Faith had left her home and family to travel here. She was likely homesick and had not yet received a letter from them. Of course she would be anxious. That was why she was acting strangely, Jax reasoned.

“They’re all doing well. I just checked in on them before I left Boston.” Silas put the hat on his head and nodded toward the side of the house. “I got my horse tied up out back. I got to get going, but I just wanted to check in and make sure you didn’t forget about your old friends in Boston.”

“Oh, no,” Faith said. “I wouldn’t forget.”

Silas’s beady black eyes assessed Faith like a hawk watching a rabbit. He turned to Jax. “Nice to meet you.”

“Same here,” Jax said.

Silas started to walk toward the side of the house. After a few steps, he turned and said, “I’m glad to see you doing well. You folks have a nice day and Faith … I promise we’ll all get together soon and catch up on old times.”

Jax thought his parting line sounded more like a threat than a promise, and judging by the way the letter was shaking in Faith’s hands, he wondered if his assessment was far off.

“That man was a friend of yours?” Jax asked after Silas disappeared around the corner of the house.

“A family friend,” Faith said.

“I get the impression you don’t like him much.”

Faith’s eyes jerked up to him. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that. It’s just that … well, I was just surprised to see him here.”

They started toward the house. A feeling of uneasiness bloomed in Jax’s chest as he opened the front door for her. “Okay. Well, if he gives you any trouble you let me know?”

“Of course. He won’t be any trouble.”

“It’s just that you seem a little distracted.”

“It’s the letter. I’ve been waiting to hear from my family. I’d like to go read it in my room now. If you’ll excuse me.”

Jax nodded. “Of course. You must miss your family terribly.”

Jax frowned as he watched Faith walk down the hall to her room. When they’d arrived home, he’d sensed her mood had lightened considerably from when she’d stiffened in the saloon. He felt that he’d been fighting his way back into her good graces.

But now, she seemed to have closed down. He didn’t think it was so much the letter from her sister. Although he was sure she was anxious to read it, she wouldn’t be expecting any bad news. It had to be something to do with Silas O’Toole. Jax had learned long ago to trust his instincts and it wouldn’t hurt to find out a little bit more about this O’Toole character.

He headed toward the barn where he knew he would find Robertson. A former Pinkerton agent, the man had connections all over the continent and Jax was sure he could zip off a Western Union telegram to one of his contacts in Boston and find out more about Silas O’Toole and his connection to Faith.

F
aith locked her bedroom door
, then collapsed on the bed. Silas's visit had shaken her badly, but that wasn't the worst part—he'd had the letter from her sister in his hands!

He'd actually talked to her sisters. Faith realized Lefty wasn't going to forget about their bargain. To think so had just been a pipe dream. He was going to expect her to come up with the location of the mine whether an actual mine existed or not.

Silas's visit and the letter turned her blood cold. Lefty was sending her a distinct message that he meant business and could get to her sisters any time he wanted.

She sat up, her legs dangling over the side of the bed, the ivory envelope clutched in her hands. On the front was simply her name in blue ink written in her sister's hand. The letter was sealed and she felt grateful that at least Silas hadn't read the communication.

She slipped her fingernail under the flap, slitting the letter open. The earthy smell of lemon balm wafted out and Faith's lips curled in a smile. Unlike most women, Mercy was not interested in perfume or scented soaps. She had an aptitude towards medicine and healing and preferred to fiddle around with herbs, the aromas of which often lingered on her person. Faith could picture her now, bent over, tending to the small garden outside the kitchen door of their apartment in Boston.

The memory caused a pang of sadness—she'd die if anything happened to her sisters because she'd had the bad sense to marry Charles.

Her hands shook as she unfolded the letter. Relief flooded through her when the first sentence stated the family was well and missed her. She'd been half afraid that Lefty would have already done something to her sisters.

She almost laughed when she read Mercy's accounts of what had been going on back at home. Her other sisters were quite a handful, especially Prudence who was headstrong and a little wild. Mercy wrote:

I
'm having
a hard time reigning Prue in. She doesn't listen to me like she used to listen to you and since you left she's gotten even more stubborn. Mother has all but given up on trying to control her and I fear she may do something crazy. But, she seems quite happy and so far has not gotten into too much trouble.

As for myself, I finally decided what I want to be in life— a doctor!

Too bad we have no money for medical school. But I managed to get myself a small job filing for Dr. Schute and I'm paying strict attention to everything he does. I just know if I work hard and keep at it, good things will happen.

In fact, they already are. I've been talking to one of your friends. A man named Lefty, who said he would get this letter to you. He mentioned we may be able to make some sort of arrangement where he could help out somehow with my education. I have no specifics, but am hopefully optimistic.

I know the distance between us is far, but I still feel we are as close as ever.

Your loving sister,

Mercy

D
read clutched
Faith's heart as the letter floated from her hand to the floor. Lefty had already approached Mercy. And, while Mercy thought he was going to help her, Faith knew that whatever 'arrangement' she entered into with Lefty would be anything but helpful to her innocent sister.

Tears pricked Faith's eyes. She'd merely been fooling herself to think Lefty would let her off easy. Fooling herself that she could have a fairy tale existence with Jax. That brief fantasy was nice while it lasted, but now she had to get down to business.

When she'd left Boston, she'd never imagined she'd have feelings for her new husband. It was business only. She thought she'd be able to pull off getting the location of the mine without any remorse.

Boy, had she been wrong. She was falling for Jax hard and, worse, she thought he might feel the same way. But that was not meant to be. She felt like a heel. Jax had trusted her with his secret and now she would have to betray that trust.