Faith (Goldwater Creek Mail-Order Brides 1) (7 page)

T
hey fit together perfectly
, Jax thought, as he whirled Faith around the floor. He’d told himself that he
had
to dance with her, to show everyone the marriage was real, that he really was the upstanding citizen now.

But the truth was he
wanted
to dance with her.

To hold her close.

To catch a glimpse of what simmered in the depths of her pale blue eyes. And what he saw made his muscles tighten and his resolve weaken. Faith was not the simple-minded homely woman he’d thought he wanted and he was glad. He’d been afraid of falling in love again when it could so easily be taken away. But apparently fate had had other ideas and now the carefully constructed wall he’d built around his heart was crumbling at an alarming rate.

He tightened his hold on her waist, pulling her to him, noticing the sparks in her eyes and hoping she felt the same way he did. She must, he reasoned, otherwise she’d be pulling away, stiff as a board, but instead she was like malleable clay, soft and yielding against him.

And her eyes … well, her eyes said it all … or they had. Now they were trained on something across the room and they did not look happy.

“What is it?” Jax twirled them around so he could look at what she’d been so unhappy about. In the corner, Cleb Masters was having a discussion with Rosie Jarvis. He narrowed his eyes in concern. Hopefully, Cleb knew better than to try anything here at the Easthams’ party.

“That man, in the corner with Rosie. Who is that?” Faith craned her neck to see the corner, her face tight with tension.

He turned them again, so her back was to Cleb and Rosie. “That’s Cleb Masters.”

“The saloon owner.” Her tone was flat.

Jax tensed. How did she know that? Had she somehow discovered what was going on even though he’d kept her away from town? And if she had, did it really matter? His whole plan had been to acquire a wife who cared little about what he did, but now … now that he had Faith, maybe that plan should change.

“You know him?” Jax ventured.

“No. I know
of
him. Bessie Mae introduced me to Rosie and …” A variety of emotions passed across Faith’s face. She looked up at Jax, pain in her wide eyes. “It might seem bold of me to ask, but why don’t you help her? Surely you know how Cleb treats her and the other girls … and you seem to have the means.”

Jax was stunned. Rosie had told her about it? But then he remembered that Bessie Mae knew everything and so did the tight-knit group of women around her. He realized he didn’t know much about his new wife, but the look of concern on her face stabbed at his heart.

She must be very kind hearted to identify with Rosie’s problems … or she’d been through something similar herself. The thought of anyone harming Faith set his blood boiling, but even more so, he couldn’t bear the thought that she might think he could do something and wasn’t acting on it, when in fact the opposite was true.

But to let her know the truth would be to trust her. To let her inside. To think of her as a partner.

Would that be so bad?

Jax was afraid that if he shared that with Faith, it would signal defeat. Defeat of his vow to harden his heart after Mary’s death. Her death had nearly killed him. Not physically but emotionally, and he couldn’t imagine getting that close to anyone again. Mary had left a huge hole in his heart that could never be filled because there was no one else who would ever be his partner, his lover and his friend like she had been.

Or so he’d thought.

Right now, holding Faith and seeing the sympathetic look in her eye, he began to believe that maybe— just maybe—
she
could fill that hole.

He should tell her everything. About the building, about his plan to help the saloon girls and, yes, even about Mary. Ryder wouldn’t mind. He’d even hinted to him to do just that. But it felt like such a big step—a leap of faith and Jax was afraid if he let her in, he might lose her like he’d lost Mary.

The urge to tell her and make her a
real
wife was strong.

And then, the music stopped. Kendrick Saunders was approaching them. Jax sighed and reluctantly released Faith. He’d hesitated and the moment had been lost.

He wouldn’t have any time alone with Faith for the rest of the evening. His job now was to introduce her to the people in power. The ones who wanted to see evidence that his wild days were over and he was now an upstanding citizen. The same people who would soon decide the fate of the very people Faith had just asked him to protect.

T
he night had been
like a dream for Faith. From the exquisite silk dress to meeting the other women with whom she might become friends to being introduced to the movers and shakers in town on the arm of her tall, handsome husband.

Dancing with Jax had been magical. Faith had danced with a few men before she'd married Charles and with Charles when they'd first been married … until he'd started drinking heavily. Charles had not been a confident dancer. Jax, on the other hand, was a strong lead. But it was more than the dancing—she'd felt safe in his arms.

And something else … she couldn't explain the warmth that spread from her very core as their bodies had touched. Faith had never felt it that strongly with Charles, but she knew what it was—desire.

She felt an unwanted yearning in her heart. Did Jax feel the same way, or was his attentiveness all an act so that he could get whatever approvals he needed for the gold mine?

She'd almost forgotten about the gold mine. When Jax had introduced her to various town officials, she'd known they were sizing her up … sizing
them
up. To her relief, they seemed to have approved. But maybe she should have been upset about their approval—if the gold mine went public, she had no idea what Lefty would do.

She'd gotten the impression
something
was about to happen. For a moment, when they were dancing, she'd thought Jax was going to confide in her.

Was it about the mine?

She didn't think so. They'd been talking about Rosie and Cleb at the time. Did the saloon have something to do with the mine?

Jax had not left her side after they'd danced. The nearness of him had rattled her brain. She hadn't had an opportunity to bring up their previous discussion and he'd made no overtures to tell her any secrets.

Maybe he'd not intended to tell her anything in the first place—he hadn't said as much but Faith had
sensed
it.

Perhaps it had only been her imagination.

She'd forgotten all about the mine and any secrets Jax might have been ready to reveal on the enchanting buggy ride home. She'd never experienced the wide open night in Boston. There, it had been cluttered with buildings and the gas from streetlamp lights. Out here, the dark of night revealed a beauty Faith had never imagined.

It had cooled off, but Jax had thoughtfully slipped a blanket into the buggy before they'd left and he snugged it around Faith's shoulders to keep her warm. The truth was, just the way his shoulders lurched against hers at every bump and sway of the buggy had her blood heating enough to keep her very warm.

The full moon illuminated the roads with a magical light. The midnight blue sky revealed so many brilliant pinpricks of stars that she'd spent the whole ride with her head tilted upward to gaze at them as Jax pointed out the constellations.

Were there that many stars in Boston? Faith didn't think so, but then again, she couldn't remember bothering to look. Night in Colorado was breathtaking and with each breath she felt her homesickness for Boston melting away.

And now, here they were standing in the foyer of Wild Heart Ranch.

Maisie was already asleep, Robertson was in the barn putting the buggy away and tending to Buttercup, so they were alone.

Faith felt a sudden surge of nerves. This was the first time they'd been alone. Faith's pulse thrummed in her veins as Jax turned her to face him.

"Thank you for being so gracious at the party. I know it must've been hard to meet all those people at once. I hope you had a good time?" Jax stood only a few inches away from her.

She sensed something was happening between them. Something dangerous and wonderful all at the same time. Her brain was telling her it was something she shouldn't let happen. It would complicate things too much. But her heart
wanted
it to happen. As her head and heart warred silently, she realized Jax was waiting for an answer.

"I had a lovely time … and this dress ..." She looked down at the dress as her nervous hands plucked at the skirt. "It is just lovely and thoughtful of you to get it for me."

Her words felt stilted. She wanted to say so much more, but her heart was racing and her head was dizzy. She could hardly think up the words.

She was acutely aware that Jax's room was to the left and her room to the right. As if able to read his mind, she knew Jax was thinking the same thing.

Would they go in the same direction tonight?

The key he'd given her that first day burned between her breasts, heated by the rushing blood in her veins.

Faith's heart beat loudly in her ears as they stood staring at each other. Faith wondered if Jax was fighting the same internal battle that she was. She wasn't sure what was going on but something was happening. It was as if a door was opening between them. The back of her mind sent out a warning to be careful. It wouldn't do to get in too deep with Jax. She still had her sisters to think of.

Then, Jax leaned toward her. Was he going to kiss her?

Faith's stomach tumbled in lazy somersaults. A momentary panic mingled with excitement swelled inside her. She closed her eyes.

But he didn't kiss her. He gently picked up her hand and brought it to his lips. Then he bid her goodnight and turned to go to his room. The tender gesture left Faith's cheeks flushed, her hand tingling and her stomach fluttering.

J
ax tossed
and turned all night. He couldn’t get Faith out of his mind. Though he supposed that had one good side-effect—his usual tormented dreams of Mary had now been replaced by much more pleasant ones of Faith.

Still, he couldn’t help but feel that his thoughts were a betrayal to Mary. He thought he’d hardened his heart against loving anyone ever again, but somehow, that had changed and now he found himself wanting a real marriage and a real partner in Faith.

It had felt good to have her on his arm at the Easthams’. The nearness of her had kindled strange feelings in him—feelings he’d thought were long dead.

She’d looked so beautiful that he’d had to rein himself in from kissing her in the foyer because he knew it would not have been a chaste kiss. If he’d let his lips get near hears, he wouldn’t have been able to refrain from plunging his hands into her silky hair and pulling her tight against him. He was afraid once he’d started, he wouldn’t be able to stop.

His instincts told him he had to treat Faith gently. Go slowly. He suspected from the way she’d sympathized with Rosie and the way she’d cringed in the library almost as if she expected him to strike her that Faith may have been mistreated by a man.

His fists clenched at the thought of it. If he ever found the guy, he’d make sure he never mistreated anyone again. But, for now, he would protect her and refrain from any physical gestures toward her … at least until she was ready. And he fully intended to do everything in his power to ensure she did become ready to trust him, both physically and emotionally.

He wanted to start on it that very next morning, but he’d let her sleep in. He knew just how to go about it, though. He could not expect her to trust him unless he trusted her.

Jax opened the bottom drawer of the rough pine bureau against the wall across from his bed. He shoved his shirts aside and reached the bottom, coming up with the worn poetry book.

He ran his hand lovingly over the tattered cover. He felt bad about the way he’d snatched the book from Faith. Giving it back was the first step on the path to showing her that he could be trusted. Mary would want someone else to enjoy the book, he thought, as he tucked it under his arm and made his way to the library.

He put the book on the table next to the blue wing chair and scribbled a hasty note to Faith.

L
ast night
, your beauty rivaled all of the poems in this book.

Yours,

Jax

T
he clatter
of pots and pans lured him toward the kitchen where Maisie was busy behind the stove. The sweet smell of buttermilk flapjacks mingled with the spicy smell of sausage made his stomach growl.

“Oh, Mr. Jax. You’re just in time. I got a new maple syrup recipe for you to try. You sit right down and have some flapjacks.” Maisie glanced toward the door. “Where is Mrs. Faith?”

“I’m letting her sleep in. We had a late night last night.”

Jax grabbed a plate and reached around Maisie to pick some sausage out of the frying pan.

Maisie slapped his hand. “You know better than that. You sit down and wait until I can serve you proper.”

Jax laughed and sat down at the table, letting Maisie wait on him as she had done since he was a child. She slid a stack of flapjacks onto his plate, topped them with mounds of butter and a puddle of maple syrup, then stood back, hand on hips, waiting for him to taste it.

Jax lifted a fork to his mouth. The sweet maple flavor tickled his taste buds. He closed his eyes to savor the delicious taste.

“Well? It’s my best yet, isn’t it?”

“Uh huh.” He didn’t want to waste time talking. The food tasted too good.

“Varnet Williams done gets the sap out of his trees!” Maisie threw her hands up as if this was the most outrageous thing ever. “Imagine that. Then I boiled it down and added some secret ingredients. Better watch out. Ezekiel Brown says I should bottle this and then I’ll be famous and won’t be taking any of your gump anymore.”

Jax smiled. “Now, Maisie, come on, I know you wouldn’t know what to do without me to look after.”

Maisie smiled at him affectionately. “That may be, but you got a wife to look after you now. Speaking of which, when you gonna’ start acting like a real husband to that poor girl?”

Jax was taken aback. Maisie knew about his reason for wanting a wife and also that he never intended for it to be a real marriage. But, by her tone and the look on her face, he could tell she knew things weren’t going as planned.

“You think she wants that?” he ventured.

“You bet. I know how women think and I see the signs.” Maisie glanced at him sideways. “And I think I see some signs from you, too.”

Jax sighed. Was he that transparent? He never could hide anything from Maisie. The woman knew him better than anyone and was like a second grandmother to him. She’d practically kept him alive after Mary’s death. If it wasn’t for her almost force-feeding him, he would have starved. But he knew that Maisie had loved Mary, too.

“Do you think it’s okay?” Jax asked. “I mean, Mary hasn’t been gone that long.”

Maisie put her hand over Jax’s. “Three years! It's long enough. And it’s perfectly fine. Mary would want it this way. You can't live your whole life in mourning for her and blaming yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. Now, are you gonna have a proper breakfast with your wife or not?”

“Not today. I have some business in town and I want to let her sleep in. But please let her know that I left her a little gift in the library. And when I get back, later this afternoon, I have a surprise for her, so tell her to be ready to go out.” Jax finished the last of the flapjacks and pushed up from the table.

Maisie’s face split in a wide smile. “Now that’s more like it.”

As Jax walked toward the front door, he glanced down the hallway towards Faith's room. Was she awake or still sleeping?

His mind conjured up an image of Faith, her golden hair fanned out on her pillow, her delicate features serene and happy. Like an angel.

The smell of lavender that lingered in the hall brought back visions of Faith in the ivory gown and caused his blood to stir. Jax wrenched open the front door and hurried toward the barn. It was best he got to town right away and got his business done before the distraction of Faith rendered him unable to produce a coherent thought.

F
aith had tossed
and turned all night. Dreams of Jax had replaced her usual nightmares of Charles. But, even though the dreams were wonderful, a dark cloud hung over them. She could never be a wife to Jax if she had to betray him to save her sisters.

Her thoughts turned to her ‘mission’. She hadn’t heard from Lefty or his henchman, Silas O'Toole, since she’d arrived in Colorado. Maybe he no longer cared about the gold mine? Or, better yet, maybe something had happened to him and he couldn’t collect his payment.

She fervently wished it was the latter. But it was more likely that he was just giving her time. How much time would he give her? Faith didn’t know. If only a letter from one of her sisters would arrive, she might have a better idea of what was going on back home.

One part of her knew she should try to find the mine entrance right away, but the other part of her was angling for a way to be able to satisfy Lefty that wouldn’t involve betraying Jax.

She made her way to the kitchen, distracted by the problem at hand. If only there was some way to make it work. She didn’t dare give Lefty a fake location, but maybe she could stall him somehow.

If her assumptions about Jax needing to appear respectable so he could get money and approval to stake his claim were true, then maybe Lefty would leave her alone once that happened. She could only wish.

“What’s got your face all puckered up like that?” Maisie asked as Faith sauntered into the kitchen.

“What?” Faith had been so deep in thought she hadn’t even realized where she’d been going. She’d just been following the delicious smells. “Oh, sorry, Maisie. What are you cooking that smells so wonderful?”

“I got some sausage, some flapjacks and a new maple syrup recipe.” Maisie slipped a plate stacked full on the table. “Now you eat up. You gonna need your appetite for this afternoon.”

Faith’s brows drew together. “I am?”

“Yes, ma’am. Mr. Jax is gonna come and take you on a surprise. He said you be ready to go out.”

Faith’s spirits lifted. “He is?”

The thought of going out with Jax excited her, but then she worried he might be taking her to show her the mine. And if he did, she would know the location, then she would have to decide whether to be loyal to her husband or her sisters. She didn’t want have to make that decision just yet.

“Yes ma’am. He’s gone out now, but he said he left you a little something in the library and he’ll be back later.”

Faith raced through her flapjacks, stopping only long enough to assure Maisie that the syrup was indeed her best yet. She couldn’t wait to see what Jax had left in the library for her.

When she was done, she offered to help Maisie clean up, but the woman would have none of it, so she put her dishes in the sink and practically skipped to the library.

She stood in the doorway, her eyes scanning the room for something that looked out of place. They fell on the table beside the chair and she recognized the tattered cover of the poetry book.

She crossed slowly, trepidation running through her. Did Jax know about her quest to find the mine? Was this some kind of trick? Maybe he had known she was after the map in the book all along.

But when she saw the note on top, she realized that wasn’t the case at all. Her suspicions were due to her own guilty feelings.

She read the letter in disbelief, her fingertips tracing the writing. The letters were blocky, not scrolly or frilly. Manly.

He thought she was beautiful?

Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. Charles had never said she was beautiful.

She picked the book up gently. It was clear the book was important to Jax. She wasn’t sure why he’d snatched it out of her hands like that. Perhaps it
did
have the map in it and he didn’t want her to find it. If that were the case, she was sure he would’ve removed it by now.

She opened the book and thumbed through the pages carefully. As she expected, no map was inside. No loose piece of paper fell out and all the pages were text.

Why did he leave it for her?

Was it possible that he felt bad about his earlier behavior and left the book here as an apology? Her heart melted at the thought and his sweet note.

The book was in rough shape. Maybe she could do something to repair it. As she inspected the cover, the book fell open to the front page and she noticed a name written in faded blue ink. Mary.

Who was Mary?

She could see the fabric cover had been sewn over the original leather cover of the book. The leather was disintegrating and the fabric had been carefully attached with small stitches.

But the fabric was tattered and fraying. Suddenly, an idea came to her. She could repay Jax’s kind gesture with one of her own. She was an excellent seamstress and could easily fix the cover. Maisie was sure to have some scraps of fabric that she could use.

With the book clutched to her chest, she ran to her room to get a needle and thread.