Fading Away (Hardest Mistakes #1) (4 page)

***

The church is basically empty when we arrive. Sam leans down to tie my lead to the fence. Maybe we’re earlier than I thought.

“Oh, I’m really late,” she exclaims, looking down at her watch. She spins and jogs to the church doors. We’re late? Where is everyone? I pull the lead as tight as I can so I can peek around the fence into the church.

Sammy

It has to be depressing for the family when no one comes to your son’s memorial. Kai’s girlfriend isn’t even here. How can someone be so popular, but have no one that actually cared?

I walk out of the church in a daze after the service, stopping to give Kai’s parents my condolences. Mrs. Jordan looks half dead, dark shadows under her eyes and an obvious loss of weight by the way her cheekbones stick out. Kai’s father isn’t any better; the large man looks defeated and empty.

Chester is lying on the pavement watching the church when I reach him. He looks up at me with his sad silver eyes, so I pat his head soothingly.

***

Kathy and Connor are playing in the front yard when I get home. Looks like I’m going to have to tell her about the dog. “Stay,” I command as I close the door behind me. “Hey Kathy.” I wave as I step up to the fence.

“Hello darling. How was the memorial? Did you know the boy?” she asks from her knees on the grass. Connor is laughing and blowing raspberries. If I were clucky, I guess he would be kind of cute.

“Not really,” I hesitate. “Umm, Kathy. I agreed to look after a friend’s dog while they’re away. Is that okay?”

She glances around, looking for the dog. “Sure honey, but be responsible and don’t forget to walk it.” I roll my eyes and give her wave as I walk away.

A good TV series and ice cream are the two most amazing things life can offer, besides chocolate, of course. Chester refuses to eat his dinner again. Should I be worried? What if he starts losing weight? I’ll have to take him back to the vet. I can’t afford to pay for that. I fall asleep in bed with him snuggled up on the blanket at my feet again. I don’t have the heart to kick him off properly.

***

My phone alarm makes me jump and sit up in bed. Groaning, I lay back down with a heavy thump—work today.

The shop is already busy when I push the door open to start my shift. Caity quickly introduces me to our new employee, Alex, and then we hurry to fill everyone’s orders.

Alex is two years older than me, with gorgeous blond hair, blue eyes, and he just graduated from Dartmouth. I blush every time he looks my way. We don’t stop again until my shift is over and I’ve cleaned all the table tops.

As I grab my bag, I turn and slam into Alex’s chest, his shirt is tight against the muscles on his arms. My face must be bright red when I look up at him.

“Sorry,” I whisper.

A huge grin splits his face. “It’s all good,” he declares, stepping around me to get his wallet and keys. I hurry for the door before I embarrass myself more, but he grabs my wrist and stops me. “So Sammy, I was wondering if you want to hang out some time.” His smile makes my knees go weak, he looks like a rock star, and all I can do is nod. “Next Friday?” I nod again, turn, and rush out the door to the parking lot. I feel so silly.

David glares at me from the front porch when I arrive home and just like that my good mood is gone. I hold the frustrated tears back until I make it inside.

Kai

I greet Sam at the door as she walks in. She pushes past, ignoring me, and nearly smacking me on the face as she swings off her bag.

Geez, I’m not invisible, just a dog.

She lies down on the sofa and buries her face in a pillow. I walk over and sit down beside her, trying to catch her attention. I nudge her arm with my nose.

“Chester,” she breathes my name into the pillow and looks up, reaching out to scratch my ear, which, by the way, feels amazing. I’ve been alone all day and I’m starting to go stir crazy.

She continues playing with my ear, her eyes unfocused as she looks past me. I tilt my head to the side in a question. Are you okay? She looks back at me, her dark eyes glittering with unshed tears. “Hungry?” She jumps off the sofa and heads for the kitchen. I sit for a moment, studying her. What was that?

***

Okay, this is it. I can’t hold out anymore. I’m starving.

Sticking my tongue out hesitantly, I taste the canned dog food in the bowl. Yuck. Okay, so not that bad, but still. Sam locked me inside again before she left for school. Eating dog food is the only choice I have if I don’t want to starve to death.

If I ever get out of this, I’m going to devour a million hamburgers. Okay, wow. I have to stop thinking about food, I’m starting to drool.

***

What happens if I stay like this forever? I’ll never get to go to college, or buy a house, or get married and have a family. My future is evaporating right in front of me. I can’t help thinking this has something to do with that stupid deer I hit.

Sam comes home just before I lose it. Grabbing the dog lead, we walk around the block. She chatters away to me as I trot along beside her. I can’t understand what she’s saying unless I concentrate, so I just tune out. It feels good to stretch my legs.

***

On Thursday…at least I think it’s Thursday…I’m losing track of time. Anyway, on Thursday Sam doesn’t come home until after dark. I’m stretched out across the sofa when she walks through the door with a huge grin on her face. I stay where I am, watching her dance and skip around the room. When she finishes spinning, she leans down and smiles, scratching my chin.

“I got my braces off today, look.” She smiles wide, showing off her perfect white teeth. “Just in time for my date tomorrow.” She smiles again and skips off to the kitchen.

Wait, did she say date? I get up and follow her. The girl I knew from high school didn’t go on dates, she’s a loner. I stay in the kitchen waiting to see if she says anything else, but she doesn’t. Who is this mystery person?

Around bedtime, I lie on the bed and wait while Sam has a shower and gets changed. She climbs under the covers and leans toward me, pulling me into a hug. I freeze in shock. “I’m so glad I hit you with my car. I know this is selfish, but I hope we never find your owners so you can stay with me.” I forget how to breathe for a second, and then she lets go and settles back on the bed.

***

The crazy girl runs around the house, snatching her keys and bag off the table when a horn sounds from the driveway. I trot over to the window and jump up, placing my front paws on the ledge to have a look at her date. He walks toward the front door just as Sam yells a quick goodbye and locks the door behind her. He looks like a douche; a blond-haired, blue-eyed douche bag. He grabs her hand and kisses it as he opens the passenger door of his crappy car for her. From my window I see her blush and giggle, then the car door closes and they pull away. What an idiot. I hop down and look around the quiet flat. Now what?

CHAPTER 5

Sammy

Alex is the perfect gentleman…at first. His bright blue eyes sparkle with humor as we drive across town. I feel like a princess with the way he walks me inside and holds out the chair for me. He orders for the both of us before I even get a chance to look at the menu. It’s a little rude but I brush it off and smile. He smiles back over the rim of his glass.

“So Sammy, what is your family like?” My fork is full of chicken and halfway to my mouth. How do I answer that?

“Umm…”

“Did I tell you about the last championship game I played at Dartmouth?” I swallow my mouthful of chicken and shake my head. He launches into the most boring retelling I’ve ever heard.

Kai

I just want to be me again. To be human; to feel my fingers flex against the steering wheel of my truck, to kick a soccer ball and feel the joy of scoring a goal, to talk to someone, to touch someone…

Pain explodes in my head and I jerk up from where I’m lying on the bed. The pain intensifies—a yelp escapes me and I scramble across the bed as an itching sensation spreads over my body. My stomach drops out from under me, then I collapse on the floor and it all turns black.

***

My eyes feel heavy and my head is pounding. I feel like I’ve been crushed against a brick wall or hit by a train. I stare up at Sam’s ceiling above me, trying not to move. My fingers twitch and a familiarity settles over my body. Oh my god…I lift my hand above my face and stretch my fingers wide. Holy crap, I’m human again. I glance down at my naked body. Laughter bubbles out of my mouth, it almost sounds hysterical…
almost
. I jump up from the bed, wrap a sheet around myself and rush out the door without thinking. My house is only a few blocks away at the edge of town; I can make it there in fifteen minutes or less.

Sammy

Okay, now I’m a little uncomfortable, not to mention scared. Alex cuts me off mid-sentence again to talk about something he’s done at college and his hand keeps fluttering against mine in a suggestive manner.

He’s not as nice as I first thought.

We exit the restaurant and walk to his car together. As soon as I’m strapped in, he leans over and slams his lips against mine. This is definitely not what it’s supposed to feel like. I push against his chest but he doesn’t budge. His hand touches the side of my breast and I scream through my crushed lips, pushing against him with all I have.

He pulls away and sits back in his seat, smirking at me. His hair falls into his eyes. “It’s all good, babe, I thought this is what you wanted. We had such a good night together.” My eyes widen in disbelief and he chuckles. Right, I’ve had enough. Snatching my bag off the floor, I unbuckle myself and get out of the car to walk home.

Another door slams.

“Wait, Sammy! I’m sorry. Come back,” Alex yells after me. I ignore him and keep going. If he follows, I’m going to call the police. I dig in my bag and pull out my phone, just in case.

Kai

My house is dark when I reach it. What a surprise. I know where the spare key is hidden and I unlock the door, stepping inside. Mom and dad aren’t here. I knew they wouldn’t be, but I was kind of hoping.

I slowly run my hand along the staircase railing as I make my way up to my room. Everything is exactly where I left it, right down to the dirty clothes hanging off my desk chair. Even my bed is still messy from when I last slept here, over a week ago. I wander over to my dresser, drop the sheet from my waist, and start pulling on a pair of jeans.

Sammy

Nearly a full hour goes by before I make it back home. My hands shake as I try to push my key into the lock. As I twist the knob the door opens, already unlocked. I pause, and then shake my head, pushing my way in and slamming the door shut behind me. I’m so angry I pick up the nearest object and hurl it against the wall. The crystal lamp shatters on impact, the fragments exploding across the floor. That lamp was a gift from Kathy. Regret fills me for a split second, then I remember why I threw it in the first place and the anger sets back in. How could he do that to me?

I turn to the kitchen and pick up a plate from the counter, throwing it at the front door. It hits with a satisfying crack. Sinking down to the floor, I let the tears flow freely. I’m so stupid. How could I think someone like Alex actually liked me? Even if he is self-absorbed.

Kai

I wander around the dark house, taking everything in. I touch the memories that sit on the bookshelves and photos hanging on the walls. How long have I been gone?

I’ve been here for at least half an hour and no one has come home. Where are my parents?

A car pulls into the driveway, the lights flashing across the walls. Finally, someone’s home. A splitting pain rips through my body and I double over on the carpet. What’s happening? No, I want to stay human. I struggle to stay off the floor. A groan escapes my lips, my bones are breaking, my skin is on fire.

The blackout only lasts a minute this time, then I’m back up on four paws and panting. Serena walks through the front door carrying an armload of groceries. She screams when she sees me, the sound making me flinch. I race past her and out the door. I can’t stop running, I need to get away.

Sammy

My pillow is my only comfort. I squeeze it tightly as I stare at the wall. All the lights are off and I’m curled up against my bed. Chester isn’t here. I don’t know how he got out, but now I’m scared.

A scratching sound at my door makes me jump. I slowly stand and edge toward it, afraid of what I’ll find. Did I lock it after I got home? I can’t remember.

“Who’s there?” I ask, my voice shaking slightly. I’m answered by a soft whine. Chester? I hesitantly turn the knob and swing the door open. The shaggy brown dog dashes past me and into my room. I lock the door and head back to bed, climbing under the covers. Chester crawls across the bed to me and nudges my arm. I let a new tear slide down my face, then I let go of the pillow and wrap my arms around his neck, snuggling into his fur and holding him close.

***

My work alarm beeps from where I left my phone in the kitchen. I roll onto my back, my hand still tangled in Chester’s fur. Great, I work with Alex. I should call in sick. I feel so stupid and I don’t want to face him. Chester groans beside me, my phone must be bothering him. I jump out of bed and swipe my finger across the phone to silence it. The silence is almost deafening.

***

Alex is waiting for me when I arrive at the shop. Better get this over with now. I suck in a deep breath and gather my courage, ready to tell him off.

“Hi Sammy.” He smiles shyly, it almost looks sincere.

I give him a blank look. “That’s Sam to you.”

“Right, Sam. Look, I’m sorry about last night. I got carried away. Let me make it up to you.” He fidgets with his keys and looks down at the ground. I’m not sure if he’s serious, or just a really good actor. Is this a trick?

“I’ll have to think about it.” He nods with a smile and holds the door open for me.

By the end of my shift, I agree to go on another date with Alex. I know, I must be crazy, but everyone deserves a second chance.

***

The hallways at school are decorated with the Prom theme and ‘VOTE FOR ASHLEE’ posters. The future queen and her group are set up in the central courtyard selling tickets. I walk over to buy one and Jacob sneers at me as I approach.

“No one is going to ask you as their date, why are you even coming?” I glare at him and hand Ashlee my money. She gives me a small smile and hands me back a ticket, ignoring Jacob’s insults.