Expectant Father (19 page)

She backed up a step. “I’m not the woman you met in Las Vegas. I’m not sexy. I’m not brave, like you.”

“I want the woman standing in front of me. I find you incredibly sexy, brave and intelligent. I want you to marry me.”

“Aiden, this won’t do our careers any good.” It was hard to be strong. His words were wonderful to hear, yet she wished he’d kept silent. Marriage wasn’t the answer.

“Who cares as long as we’re together?”

“If people knew I’d slept with you…they’d talk. Opportunities would be lost.”

“Like your job in Boise?” His expression turned cold.

“Yes.” She was relieved he was finally understanding.

“Sometimes you have to think beyond the implications something has on your career, Bec.” The shadows in the parking lot emphasized the disappointment in Aiden’s eyes.

Becca hardened her resolve. “I’d expect you to say something irresponsible like that.”

“And I’d hope that you’d be able to set aside work if that baby or someone you love needed you. People are important, not careers.”

He made so much sense that Becca wanted to cry. She wanted a happily-ever-after with Aiden, but she couldn’t believe what he felt for her was a real, lasting thing.

“Ow.” The baby kicked her. Becca’s hand went to her belly. As if knowing his baby was alert, Aiden moved closer.

“You’ve never let me touch the baby.”

No. By touching the baby, he’d be touching her, starting fires she doubted she could control when she was so emotionally distraught.

“There’s so much you’ve kept from me, Becca. Please, give me this one gift.” He wanted to be a good dad, yet the only contact he could have with the baby right now was through her.

“May I?” he asked gesturing to her stomach with longing in his eyes that Becca could no longer resist.

She nodded mutely, realizing that she’d never shared her pride and joy with anyone else, not like this.

He placed his hand carefully on her tummy, so gently that he could barely feel a thing unless the baby hammered her. Becca put her hand on top of Aiden’s, splaying his fingers so that he’d have a better chance of feeling something when the baby moved again.

His dark gaze locked onto hers and Becca couldn’t help
but think that if he moved his thumb just a millimeter, it would brush against her breast.

Her breasts seemed to swell toward his hand, as if longing for his caress. One deep breath and there was no way he wouldn’t be touching her.

The baby, of course, chose that moment to kick lower than the first time.

“Wow, was that him?” Aiden moved his hand lower. “That’s one powerful kid.”

Becca couldn’t help but grin with pride. “This baby has spunk.”

“Do it again.” Aiden moved so that he was nearly straddling her belly.

Becca laughed, the baby kicked, and then she laughed some more at Aiden’s wondrous expression. “I was going to say that this baby isn’t a trained seal and doesn’t perform on demand, but somebody was obviously listening to you.”

“That’s because I’m the boss. What I say goes. Do it again,” he commanded.

Becca couldn’t help laughing once more when the baby kicked and then kicked again, although the laughter died immediately when she realized her little one had gone back to kicking high and Aiden’s hand was following the movement, heedless of the way the back of his hand was now against the lower side of her breast.

Her eyes were caught in his dark gaze and the memory of their time together flooded her senses. They’d made love three times in his hotel room overlooking the strip. Once he’d even moved her to tears because she’d felt closer to him than she had to anyone in years. And he’d been a fun-loving, sexy stranger then. A man she knew little about. A man whom she’d never expected to see again. A man with deep facets to
his character that she was just beginning to discover, with painful emotional scars that she couldn’t begin to heal, even though she longed to.

“What’s going on here?” Aiden asked in a low gravelly voice that sent tingles over her skin.

“You’re about to break the tension and say something mean.” She’d had the excuse of wanting to get pregnant the last time she’d slept with him. She had no excuse now other than rampant hormones. She needed him to be the sane one. “Please.”

Lucky her, there was no place in base camp where they could be alone. She’d move in a minute.

Thirty seconds… Ten…

“I find older, taller women a turn-on,” he said.

Becca exhaled. “That wasn’t mean.” While they were standing there in the middle of the parking area with his right hand on her belly, she’d somehow managed to cling to his other hand. She wasn’t sure anymore if she was just having a low-blood-sugar moment or if Aiden being so near was making her weak, but she needed his support.

He grinned at her, dangerously sexy. “It’s mean when you realize I’m not going to do anything about it.”

“Oh.” A stab of disappointment.

He leaned closer, until his lips almost brushed her ear. “It’s even meaner when I remind you how good I could make you feel with just a touch.”

It wasn’t a stab of disappointment, it was a sharp arc of desire. Becca was breathing deeply now. She remembered how his clever fingers had taken her into a combustible state.

“Someone might see us.” Who was she kidding? People were still everywhere. Base camps never slept. People were probably watching the old, pregnant Fire Behavior Analyst holding hands with one of the young Silver Bend studs right now.

What would Julia say?

That she was robbing the cradle.

Right now, Becca didn’t care. She was tired of being strong and pushing herself beyond her limits. If she was a quitter, she’d just curl into a ball in bed and give up.

Becca sighed. It was only worth quitting if she could give up in Aiden’s arms. What he’d said about doing the right thing, about caring for his child, about placing more emphasis on those you love than your career, had melted Becca’s defenses. His touch had brought them crumbling down.

Aiden led her away from the parking lot and the lights. And she let him. They walked through the rows of sleeping tents where the light was softer and there were more shadows. Becca was content not to talk, content just to enjoy the warmth of his hand encompassing hers. Tomorrow. She’d worry about the consequences tomorrow.

Aiden stopped in the shadow of one tent. He leaned forward and pressed his lips lightly to hers, eliciting a small whimper from her as he pulled back. She wanted more.

“If appearances are more important than what I can give you, I’ll have to say good-night.”

No! Aiden couldn’t leave her like this. Becca was burning for him and he knew it.

M
AYBE
S
PIDER’S OLD MAN
was right. He’d certainly captured Becca’s attention. She wasn’t arguing with him, and she wasn’t walking away. She was standing there looking at him with her lower lip in a slight pout.

“You get some rest. We’ll talk more tomorrow when I get back from the field.” Gently, he brushed her bangs off her forehead, careful of her stitches.

Still she didn’t move.

Just to make Becca sweat a little more, and because he couldn’t resist, Spider reached out and stroked his hand down her belly, back up and then alongside her plump breast.

Her breath seemed to catch in her throat, and then her arms wrapped around him, pulling him against her full stomach, pulling him farther until his chest was pillowed on her breasts, her mouth hot against his own.

Damn, the woman was sizzling.

All Spider could think of was what fun it would be to make love with Becca in her condition. He’d never done it with a pregnant woman before. It would almost be like doing it with props.

They were in the shadows, but anyone who walked close by could see them. Spider slipped his hand beneath her belly and touched her through her thin, stretchy shorts. It didn’t take much.

Becca trembled, moaning into his mouth, sending his mind on a quick mental search of the camp for a place to drive her wild, a place where she could reciprocate.

“Who’s out there?” A woman’s voice, not Becca’s.

From inside the tent.

Becca’s tent.

The rasp of a zipper—not his—sent Becca stumbling to the ground with a dazed look.

Julia poked her head out of the tent flap. Her eyes landed on Spider first. “Oh, it’s you,” she purred, blinking puffy eyes.

Spider stepped forward to help Becca up off the ground.

“Becca?” She sounded incredulous. “And…and Spider?”

“Shh,” Becca said, not looking at Spider at all. “Aiden was just helping me back through the dark and I fell. That’s why I needed his help.”

The assistant didn’t look convinced, but Becca didn’t seem to care. She moved over to the tent flap and zipped it all the way open.

“Aren’t you going to thank me?” The question didn’t come out as confidently as Spider would have liked. A minute ago they’d moved beyond Becca’s hangups about their relationship and created something wild. She could just walk away from that as if he hadn’t just rocked her world? No “we’ll talk later?” No “see you soon?”

With obvious reluctance, Becca turned back to Spider, thrusting her hand in his direction. “Thank you.”

He almost reacted too slowly. She almost pulled her hand back. But Spider gripped it before she got away and thrummed his fingers on her wrist.

“Anytime,” he said, and for the first time in his life, he meant it.

“W
HAT WERE YOU TWO DOING
out there?” Julia demanded. “Was he making a move on you? I’ve heard he’s a real player.”

Oh, he was a player all right, only Becca had been the one about to play him. She’d been out of control. “He just walked me to the tent.”

“What a pervert, making the moves on a pregnant woman.” Julia sounded thoroughly disgusted.

“Julia!”

“I’ve heard some guys are turned on by that.”

“Somehow I don’t think Aiden is one of them.” That was a lie. She’d felt his need for her when she’d pressed herself against him. She got warm just remembering how hard he’d been.

“You’re probably right. He was probably just being a gentleman.” She rolled over in her sleeping bag. “Someone with the laundry crew made it with him last summer. She said he barely gave her the time of day after they did the deed.” Julia sighed. “She said he was most creative in bed though.”

That was more information than Becca wanted. Despite herself, she was jealous of the woman on the laundry crew.

“He is a hottie,” Julia said, yawning.

Hottie.
That’s the last word Becca needed to hear. She was already overheated just from pressing herself against him. And then he’d performed some yoga moves, somehow managing to reach around her tremendous belly and touch her there—in the middle of base camp.

She didn’t just burn for him, she burned with embarrassment. And if Julia’s reaction was any indication, Becca wouldn’t do her career any good by allowing him to get that close again, much less accepting his marriage proposal. Tomorrow she’d put distance between them again.

But her body hummed in places it hadn’t since Las Vegas, her heart ached with longing, and Becca had a hard time falling asleep.

“L
ET’S ASSEMBLE OVER HERE
,” Spider led his team to a spot in an area directly in Becca’s path after her morning briefing. He wasn’t going to step out of her life as easily as she’d like.

Of all Becca’s protests and arguments last night, the one that Spider struggled with was her claim that she’d gone to Vegas to get pregnant. Becca wasn’t the kind of woman to trap a man with a child. Besides, she could have met anyone in Vegas. Fate had directed her to him.

Becca had managed to avoid him at breakfast, and her gaze hadn’t even skimmed over him during the morning briefing. But she’d have to walk right by him to get to the Fire Behavior tent now.

“Good morning,” Spider called when he saw her a mere twenty feet away, his voice nearly cracking under the strain of wondering what this meeting would be like.

He loved a challenge, and the stakes between them were high and worth fighting for.

Becca hesitated, her smile fading when she realized he was talking to her. Not the best of signs. But she didn’t turn around or veer off to the latrines.

Something spilled behind him with a jarring crash. The contents of Victoria’s backpack scattered across the dirt. His already taut nerves tumbled over the edge of his control.

“What’s the deal, Queenie? In need of some caffeine to wake up that brain of yours? It’s a zipper, the same as on your pants.”

The Queen’s face was bright red. Then, to Spider’s horror, she looked as if she might cry. He swore under his breath.

“You are such a butt-head.” Becca thrust her belly into his
business. He’d wanted her attention, but not when he’d just acted exactly as she’d accused him last night. “It’s an honest mistake. Why do you have to bully her all the time?”

He might have tried to react to Becca differently if the team hadn’t all been staring at them, or if Becca hadn’t just berated him as if she were his second-grade teacher, appalled that he’d eaten paste.

“Maybe I order her around because she needs it. She hasn’t been able to think straight lately.” Spider cast a dark glance at Victoria.

“Butt-head, butt-head, butt-head,” Becca spouted. With her hands on her hips and her green T-shirt so tight across her abdomen he could see the outline of her belly button, he didn’t want to take her seriously.

People around them slowed, turned to look, stopped talking. Spider didn’t care.

Damn if Becca wasn’t taunting him, just daring him to cross her. He bet she expected men to fall into a neat line with that glare of hers. Did she think he was a rookie? Gullible and wet behind the ears? Willing to defer to her just because she was a woman? Or worse, defer to her because she was
older
than him? He had ten years of experience under his belt. He sure wasn’t the kind of man to be led around as if he were a schoolboy by a woman, especially this one. Anger raged in Spider’s veins, barely contained by his need to play nice in Becca’s sandbox.

The kid. Think of the kid. Or her kisses. Think of her kisses.

Spider tried, he really did, but she had pissed him off to the point where he found himself leaning into her until his nose was mere inches from hers. “The least you can do is think of something else to call me.”

Several of the Silver Bend Hot Shots offered suggestions.

“Oh, please.” Becca didn’t break eye contact or back away. “Don’t encourage him.”

“Like you never do,” Spider said, then dropped his voice suggestively lower. “You encouraged me last night.”

Becca’s eyes widened, then narrowed. “Don’t you dare say more in front of them,” she whispered.

“Dare what? Dare tell them about—”

Her clipboard and pen clattered to the ground as her palm clamped over his mouth and her other hand swatted away the hand he’d started to raise to point at her belly.

Someone in the crowd hooted.

Spider ignored them. He looked at Becca with what he hoped was a challenging expression—brows up—because she sure as hell challenged his patience, his sex drive and his sanity, not to mention the limits of his heart. Just to test her reaction, he let his tongue slip out to taste the salt on her palm.

What in the world are you going to do now, honey?

Her breath hitched. He had to give Becca credit. She was as unpredictable as a summer twister. He would have bet money that she’d slug him.

Her eyes darted to the right and she slowly lowered her hand from his mouth, wiping it on the side of her hip. Spider glanced over his shoulder and found Socrates watching them, along with most of the Incident Command team. Becca would accuse him of sabotaging her career, while Socrates would probably think he was harassing Becca.

Well, hell.

“You set me up,” she accused in a deadly voice, bringing fully his attention back to her. “You waited for me here because you wanted to ruin my chances for that job. You think if you do, I’ll have no excuse to turn you down. You set me up,” she repeated.

He shrugged, although it was far from the truth. “What if I did?”

She bent down to pick up her clipboard and he knelt with her, retrieving her pen.

“You have the moral fiber of a snake, which is probably why I chose you in that bar in Las Vegas. I knew you wouldn’t resist a freebie.” She might have been whispering, but her words echoed in Spider’s brain on full volume.

The world pitched off kilter as everything Spider believed to be true shattered. Becca hadn’t been lying. The baby hadn’t been an accident. Becca wasn’t a saint who’d decided to raise his baby alone.

Spider blew out a frustrated breath, forcing himself to speak just as softly, with as much venom as she attributed to him. “So, it’s true. You did go on a sperm-collecting expedition in Las Vegas. You really didn’t care about me at all. I was just some lucky sap on a barstool.”

“Yes.” She lifted her chin. Becca stood on wobbly legs, brushing away his hands as he followed her up and tried to steady her when he should have been turning around and walking away. Hurt sparkled in her blue eyes. He ignored it and waited to hear what she’d say, hoping she’d take it all back so that his world would right itself.

It seemed the entire camp was silent, straining to hear what Becca said, although they’d been speaking so quietly their voices didn’t carry more than a few feet.

“Never mind,” he said. Becca was right. He was reading things where there was nothing. She didn’t love him. Becca had taken what she’d wanted from him, only somewhere along the way, she’d snagged something she hadn’t planned on taking.

His heart.

B
ECCA STORMED
into the Fire Behavior tent, retrieved the printout with the latest weather updates and waddled at high speed right back outta there, fighting tears all the way to her SUV.

Aiden was right. Becca could think of better, more cutting names to call him. She even found herself mumbling a few as she stomped across the field that had become their parking lot to her dinged up SUV. The door opened with a creak and Becca somehow managed to climb up into the high cab to the seat Aiden had occupied last night, slamming the door behind her.

Why couldn’t he have been patient? She’d seen the questions in Sirus’s expression when they’d argued. The entire camp was probably talking about them now. At the end of the fire, Becca would be out of a job, her dream house unattainable, and Aiden would hate her forever.

Be careful what you wish for.
For several seconds, Becca sat rigidly gripping the steering wheel in one hand and her reports in the other. Then, she let go of everything, crumpling across the bench seat and relinquishing the most pitiful wail.

Aiden would hate her forever.

Wasn’t visitation going to be pleasant? Becca cried a little louder.

There was a knock on her driver’s side window.

Becca’s hands flew to her face. “Go away.” Couldn’t a hormonal pregnant woman get any privacy in this camp?

“Are you okay?”

Julia’s voice. More than anything, Becca wanted to crawl back into bed, preferably her own bed in California several hundred miles away.

“Becca?” Julia didn’t seem to take the hint that her boss was having a
private
breakdown. She obviously wanted to rub Becca’s nose in her rather public fight with Aiden.

With a resigned sigh, Becca sat up. “I’m fine.”
Hit me with your best shot.

Julia opened the driver’s side door. “I thought you might like some water.” She handed Becca a bottle of water and then a tissue.

After a moment’s hesitation, Becca took both. She blew her nose with the most unladylike sound, making her fight the tears all over again. Why couldn’t she be more graceful? Then she tipped the water bottle back too far when she tried to take a drink and it spilled down the front of her T-shirt.

Becca closed her eyes. “I am such a klutz.”

Julia shifted beside the old Forerunner, her boots scraping the ground. “I think you’re tired and stressed out.”

“And what would you know about it?” Becca demanded, suddenly angry that Julia had witnessed her breakdown, regretting the words as soon as they left her mouth, but unable to stop, or apologize, for them.

“Nothing,” Julia admitted, taking a step back, then another. She shook her head and then she retreated, leaving Becca feeling even more of a failure.

NIFC was right.

Becca was a horrible manager.

“I apologize,” Becca said to Julia when she returned to the Fire Behavior tent. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you in the parking lot.”

Julia sat hunched over a table covered with fire maps. She shrugged, wiped at one of her eyes but didn’t say a word. Becca couldn’t help but notice that her eyes were red again. Had Becca made her cry? She was a louse.