Expectant Father (14 page)

“No, I think she just doesn’t back away from it. Like being pregnant and not married. I wonder what her story is?”

Spider wasn’t about to enlighten him.

“Make sure you keep an eye on Victoria and the rookies,” Spider said. “They’ll get too cocky and do something stupid if I’m not around.”

“You worry too much.” Chainsaw yawned again. He settled back down into his bag. “Want me to wake you for breakfast?”

“No. I’ll be in a pre-briefing.” Wondering when Becca was going to tell him what she decided about him and the baby, worrying about what she’d decide, nervous about the idea of impending fatherhood. The thought of taking a baby—complete with diapers and bottles and such—out alone scared the heck out of him. Spider knew nothing about babies.

He just had to make sure this baby knew something about him.

“I
DON’T WANT TO TALK
about changing strategies,” Sirus rebuked Aiden as Becca entered the main Incident Command tent for the predawn team briefing.

The air was crisp and cold. The sky was just starting to lighten, bringing the promise of another warm day. Becca had tossed and turned all night, pressured from all aspects of her life. Professionally, she couldn’t afford to fail Sirus and the Flathead Fire. Julia had to do well in the pre-briefing this morning. Becca desperately wanted to change attack strategies before they suffered casualties.

On a personal level, she had no idea how was she going to allow Aiden access to their child without giving him the power to manipulate their lives. She’d ached for Aiden and his heartbreaking childhood, unaccountably wanting to bring more love to his life by sharing their child. But letting him into her life was risky to her heart. Once he found out she’d gone looking for a sperm donor, he’d look at her differently.

Becca had no more answers this morning than she’d had last night, and now she had to face the day feeling tired, fat and frumpy.

“Morale is up,” Aiden groused. “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but now everyone and their brother wants to know what I’m going to do about Becca’s prediction,” Sirus snapped back.

On that cheery note, Becca announced her presence with a soft, “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Sirus replied with a scowl.

So, Aiden’s plan had backfired. She should thank him for trying. The masses may support her theory, but Sirus did not.

“He’ll come around,” Aiden whispered so close behind Becca that she felt his breath on the back of her neck.

Despite herself, Becca shivered. There was no denying that she still found him attractive, just as there was no denying he’d dug her a deeper hole with Sirus.

More of the team streamed in behind them, ending the confrontation between Aiden and Sirus, but the tension lingered.

“Looks like it’s going to be a rough day.” Becca said to no one in particular as she pretended to study the morning map with the latest satellite pictures. She pulled at her fleece vest in a futile attempt to close it. Her belly was too large to zip it, not that it would matter soon. In a few hours, it would be so warm that she wouldn’t need it.

“No doubt. Another rough one.” With a sigh, Aiden sank into a chair next to Becca and began greeting other team members, having something to say for each one.

Becca tried to focus on the map, but all the while she was watching Aiden out of the corner of her eye. Julia came in and Aiden shook her hand in the same businesslike manner he’d greeted her yesterday.

“Let’s get down to it.” Sirus brought the meeting to order with a nod in Becca’s direction. “Start with the latest satellite map.”

“The fire was relatively quiet during the night. We built a considerable length of fire line along the north flank.” Becca tapped out a line with her pencil on the thick map paper, trying not to think about the recommendation she really wanted to make. “I’d like to propose we keep with this line today, extending it as far as we can for as long as we can before noon. That means building line in the fire’s shadow, but we should be all right as long as we stop before the winds gain strength in the afternoon.”

Aiden set his coffee aside and leaned over the map. “Three, maybe four Hot Shot crews max, and you could extend the line during the day shift. We’d have to move quickly and finish before noon, mid-afternoon max, like Becca says.”

Becca tried to hide her surprise at Aiden’s support. She hadn’t really believed him when he’d said he’d stand by her.

“Thanks, but I didn’t ask for your opinion, Spider.” Sirus turned to the meteorologist. “Carl?”

“Winds are going to stall today. It’s going to be dry and hot.” He shrugged, as if what he was saying didn’t have life or death consequences. “I’d give it a go and push it into the evening.”

“That’s exactly what you said yesterday and the day before, and the wind kicked up on both afternoons,” Aiden pointed out before Becca could say the same with more tact.

Carl scowled and tugged on the brim of his baseball cap, but he didn’t argue. Everyone knew he’d been wrong.

“Is it worth the risk?” Sirus turned to Becca.

If they built the line quickly and quit before the winds got crazy, yes, but Becca held off answering. Here was her chance to let Julia soar in front of Sirus. They’d talked about various scenarios yesterday. Julia had been reluctant to agree with Becca, but in the end, she had. Becca would have liked to have spoken with Julia again this morning, but her assistant hadn’t
been ready when Becca had needed to head for the latrines. “Julia, what do you think?”

Julia blinked her carefully lined eyes almost as if she were unable to focus. “Our data indicates this is our chance. With no wind forecast, I say we build as much line as we can all day.” She didn’t look at Becca.

Sickening anger woke the baby as it charged through her veins. Becca couldn’t believe her assistant’s betrayal. Julia was basing her decision on computer calculations again. The computer simulation was based in part on Carl’s faulty weather predictions. They couldn’t rely on Carl anymore. Another meteorologist might have been more creative and adjusted the algorithms for more accurate wind forecasts, but that seemed beyond Carl’s capabilities.

“Okay, then, we go all day,” Sirus said, frowning at a point to the left of Aiden’s shoulder. “If there are no other issues, let’s talk staffing and resources.”

Becca exchanged a glance with Aiden. Why did Sirus support Carl and Julia?

“It figures,” Aiden mumbled.

It didn’t. It made no sense. Becca shouldn’t say a word. Disagreeing with Julia would only make her look bad. But she couldn’t stay quiet. Lives were at risk.

“Wait, we’re making a mistake.” Becca held up a hand, feeling her cheeks heat. “This fire creates a wind of its own in the mid-afternoon—sometimes gentle, sometimes wild. Carl’s outlook may be for no wind, but we’ve seen wind pick up on more than one occasion out here.”

“Why is it creating these winds?” Sirus probed. “Perhaps if the IC team understood these factors better, they’d
agree
with you.” He placed a bit too much emphasis on the word
agree,
his irritation palpable.

“The woods are very dry, so they burn hot, sucking oxygen more quickly as the fire grows stronger, creating its own wind. And the terrain is full of abrupt, craggy ridges, which further influences airflow.” Becca kept her gaze on Sirus. “All I know is that the computer simulations have been off and we’d be foolish to rely on them again. I’d challenge anyone who believes the winds won’t come up today to head out with a fire crew and work next to the belly of the fire.” Finally, she looked at Carl and Julia, daring them to dispute her.

Neither one would meet her gaze.

“I can assume you feel strongly about that,” Sirus said dryly. “My vote goes with Becca,” Aiden said.

“Your vote doesn’t count.” Sirus gestured to Carl. “But yours does. We’ve been here seven days. You’ve predicted no winds on three of those days and we’ve been overrun three times because of wind. What do you have to say to that?”

Everyone at the table stilled. Becca held her breath.

“I don’t predict the fire, just the weather.” Carl fidgeted in his chair and tugged at his yellow Nomex shirt. Becca was the only member who wasn’t wearing Nomex, since it didn’t come in pregnant sizes.

“Who does predict fire behavior?” Sirus prompted.

“The Fire Behavior Analysts,” Carl admitted reluctantly.

Sirus turned his icy stare on Julia. “Did you discuss simulations with your supervisor before this meeting?”

Now it was Julia’s turn to look miserable. She sniffed and nodded.

“Did you discuss the simulations then?”

“Yes.” Julia looked as if she might cry.

“And did you both agree to a recommended behavior prediction for today?” Sirus was unrelenting.

“Well, I—”

“Did you both agree?” he repeated. It was standard practice for the support crews to align their thoughts prior to meetings.

“Yes.”

“And when your supervisor generously asked you to present the Fire Behavior team’s recommendation, did you do so?”

“Sirus, this isn’t necessary,” Becca said. He was only making the situation worse for both herself and Julia. What Julia had done was foolish, but she didn’t deserve to be publicly humiliated.

“Yes, it is.” Sirus turned to Julia. “Did you?”

“No.”

“So, I have to assume that you were grandstanding for your own purposes, even though it would put firefighters at risk, even though it went against your supervisor’s better judgment—someone who has years more experience than you do.” Sirus stood wearily. “Enough infighting. Deploy four teams to the ridge in sector two and assign a time tag of thirteen hundred hours. No one works past that in sector two. Are we clear?”

“S
IRUS, WAIT
.” Becca hurried after her boss, but he didn’t stop until he was outside and several feet from the command tent.

“I’m disappointed in you, Becca.” Sirus spun to face her, anger coming off him in waves.

Becca shook her head. “I know, I can’t seem to make her understand that fire prediction is about more than reading a computer printout.”

“No. You almost let her get away with a lousy prediction you didn’t approve of because you wanted her to look good to me, just so you could get my recommendation for that job in Boise. Do you want a repeat of the Coyote fire?”

Becca’s spirits sank. He was right. No job was worth risking someone’s life.

“But she didn’t let Julia get away with it.” Aiden stepped next to Becca. “She might not have discredited Julia right away, but Becca didn’t let her get away with it. She’d never knowingly put a firefighter at risk.”

Sirus seethed silently, regarding them both with a steely stare. Becca wasn’t sure whether she should be grateful or resentful for Aiden’s intrusion.

Finally, Sirus spoke to Becca. “You really want that job, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir, I do.” She ran a hand over the baby.

“It shouldn’t matter how well Julia does. If anything, Becca’s overqualified for the job,” Aiden said, staunchly her champion.

Becca held her breath, waiting for Sirus to explode on one or both of them, realizing Aiden had nudged her heart back on that downward descent to deeper feelings for him.

“Thank you, Mr. Incident Commander. The next time I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it.” With a chilly look at both of them, Sirus turned to go.

But Aiden wasn’t done.

“In the spirit of helpfulness and cooperation, I’d rather not delay. There are a couple of suggestions I have to improve things around here that can’t wait for hell to freeze over, which is when you’d ask me. You do remember me? Your assistant in base camp?”

After a long, stony stare, Sirus shook his head. “You are full of surprises this morning.”

Sirus sighed. “All right, since it seems my pre-brief has been cut short, why don’t we talk about your ideas over a cup of coffee.”

When Aiden started to follow Sirus, Becca held him back with a light touch on his sleeve. “Thank you.”

“It’s okay to set aside your pride and get help sometimes.” Aiden brushed aside her bangs so he could see her stitches, and then grinned. “Talk to you later.”

For once, Becca looked forward to it.

“I’
D THINK YOU’D BE EXHAUSTED
by now, running from one team to another telling jokes and collecting bets.” Becca kept her smile carefully neutral when Aiden entered the Fire Behavior tent at lunch. She was balancing a small plate with a turkey sandwich and some fresh vegetables on the top of her belly as she sat with her feet propped on the milk crate.

Spider could see the muscles in her legs, even if her ankles were swollen. All that hiking had kept her in shape.

“I’m coming to believe that base camp crews bust hump. I’m just going to hide from Sirus for awhile in here.” He thought for sure she’d tell him to go away, but her smile welcomed him. Apparently, the truce they’d reached in the past twenty-four hours still held.

He sat down on the other side of her desk. Her traitorous assistant was nowhere to be seen.

“I’ve walked more miles this morning than I would have up in the mountains fighting fire.” Not true, but it felt like it. “I’d forgotten that Socrates walks faster than anyone I know.”

“How are your spirits holding up? It must be hard staying so upbeat when you don’t even want to be here.”

“I never said I didn’t want to be here,” Spider hedged.

“No, but you left enough clues. Truthfully, what did Sirus ask you to do here? Whatever it was, he probably didn’t mean
for you to become my ally.” She set aside her plate and steepled her hands over her belly, slouching deeper in the chair, looking as if she’d wait all day for his answer.

“He…uhm…” He wasn’t going to tell her.

“The truth.” Her blue eyes were piercing, demanding honesty.

“Why are you asking me now?”

She shrugged, and he would have repeated what he’d told her the first day of his assignment—that he was here to help the IC team—but then she raised an eyebrow and smiled at him.

“He thought I’d be able to lift morale. Seeing as how this is the last fire of the season, several crews are ragtag, resources are scarce and he knows that drags spirits down.” Spider dropped his helmet to the floor and ran a hand through his hair. “Holy cow, you’re better at drawing out the truth than my grandmother.”

“I’m not ready for you to change the subject yet.” She picked up a carrot. “So why didn’t you want the assignment?”

He hesitated too long, trying to decide what to tell her. Besides the fact that he loathed being chained to base camp, he’d also blamed Becca for his assignment.

“And don’t give me that line about Hot Shots being under-utilized in base camp. There is no
I
in team. If Sirus believes you can help me, then you better believe that you can help me.” She tossed his own words back at him.

“It’s complicated.” Like their relationship. Who knew what that was? And, given his father’s inability to honor his marriage vows, what made Spider think he could make monogamy work? Hearing Roadhouse talk…there wasn't much difference between father and son.

“Try me.” She crunched on her carrot. Her long braid hung over the back of the chair. He wanted to feel its silky length in his palm.

“I’ve always been able to liven up a party. I’ve never really thought about it much.” He started out slowly, not really sure how much to tell her.

“And now,” she prompted.

“Now…now it’s almost as if everyone, from my friends to Incident Command, doesn’t see much deeper than that or expect much from me.”

“You don’t like that, do you?” She creased her forehead, drumming her fingers on her belly. “Does the baby have anything to do with this recent change of heart?”

“No. It started last year. Golden and Logan got hurt, and suddenly I had to be the responsible one.” Spider sat up straighter. “I kind of thought it would be a drag, but it wasn’t. The biggest change for me was knowing the safety of everyone rested on my shoulders.” And then the worry for others shackled itself to his ankle.

“I can relate to that.” There was a soft acceptance in her gaze that was new.

“It wasn’t as if I stopped cracking jokes. I just downshifted, I guess.” He didn’t want to come across as a management clone, or even management. He missed the adrenaline rush of the fire, even as he was almost relieved to be removed from the worry that had been riding him on this one.

“So, do you think you’ve fulfilled Sirus’s expectations?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.” It had been a good day. Socrates had seemed impressed with Spider’s suggestions.

“I heard your pool is a hit. Someone said you’ve collected a couple hundred bucks. That seems pretty darn successful to me. You should be proud.”

He liked that she was interested in what he was doing. Her interest was genuine, not the “I don’t care what you say as long as we go to bed later” type of attention he usually encountered from women. “Give the pool a couple of days and Socrates will come around to support you.”

Becca didn’t seem convinced. “Which day are most people predicting the fire to jump the highway?”

“Friday.” Four days from now. Spider hoped to be back out on the line before then.

“I hope they’re all wrong.” Becca stroked her hand across the swell of her stomach.

“Me, too.”

She met his gaze. “Did you hear the latest weather report?”

“Yeah, hot and dry.” Perfect conditions for a fire to gobble up acreage. A change of subject was in order. This one was too gloomy. “How’s the pregnancy been treating you?”

He would have considered something sappy to describe her, like she glowed, except that she didn’t. She looked droopy, as if she could use a few hours sleep.

Her expression became guarded. “I’m fine.”

“Is that what you tell Socrates?”

“Every time he asks.” She took a drink from a milk carton.

“You need to tell him to let you rest midday. Even firefighters need to take a break.” And she wasn’t a firefighter. She was a delicate woman. Pregnant women just weren’t a good fit on fires. The pace was too demanding and the hours too long.

She stared at him with raised brows until Spider realized he’d spoken this last part out loud.

“You know it’s the truth.” He wouldn’t back down. “Your stubborn streak is showing.”

Julia entered the tent, and Becca turned away from him, effectively ending their conversation.

“F
EELING BETTER
?” Becca asked Julia after Aiden left.

Her assistant had spent most of the day hunkered down in their sleep tent since Sirus had confronted her this morning. Becca knew the younger woman must be upset, but she needed to get over it. Still, Julia’s pouting had allowed Becca to enjoy Aiden’s company—even the way he looked at her, as if she were some delicious treat—until he’d admitted his prejudice against women working on a fire.

“What did Spider want?” Julia asked instead of answering Becca.

“He and I were going over some fire predictions. He is here to help after all.” Okay, so that was a fib. They’d gone over no predictions and if Aiden was here to lift her spirits, he’d fallen far short with his remarks about his limited role as a father and how he didn’t want fatherhood standing in the way of his bachelor lifestyle. He may want her, but he didn’t want her heart.

“I suppose he agreed with your predictions.” Julia slumped into the chair recently vacated by Aiden.

“There are a lot of places he and I disagree.” That might be the understatement of the year. Becca tugged at her T-shirt. He was pushing her too fast, too soon. What was his hurry? “But there are a lot of places you and I disagree, too.”

Julia wiped at the makeup under her eyes. Becca was convinced her eyes wouldn’t be so red if she just quit rubbing them.

“Is he qualified?”

“He has about ten years of fire experience.” In some ways, Becca trusted Aiden’s judgment more than Julia’s.

“What are you going to do if Carl and I are right today?”
Julia had a way of tilting her head down and looking up at Becca that was disconcerting, as if she didn’t want Becca to see her face.

“You mean if the simulation is correct in its predictions?”

“Yes.”

“Most likely we’ll chalk up the day to successful, conservative efforts.” It wasn’t as if they kept a scorecard with the fire.

“But what will
you
do?”

“Are you asking me if I’ll apologize?” To Julia? To Carl?

Julia nodded.

Leaning back in her chair, Becca almost laughed. “For what?”

“For thinking you’re always right. No one’s right all the time. They can’t be.”

“Julia, I’m not always right. You know the conditions here in Flathead defy normal prediction. Haven’t you learned anything this past week? No computer is going to accurately predict what’s going to happen in these many microclimates twelve hours in advance. That’s an on-the-spot estimation.”

Julia was shaking her head. “I’m always wrong and you’re always right.”

“Holy smokes, this is not a competition.” Where had this come from? Becca was floored. “This is about stopping a powerful force of nature. It’s about predicting what the fire will do and when so that we can safely fight it as long as we can.”

Becca wasn’t getting through. She could tell by Julia’s poker-faced expression. And then Julia opened her mouth and confirmed it. “The computer said—”

“I don’t give a flip what the computer said,” Becca cut Julia off, accenting her words with a sharp slice of her hand through the air. “The computer’s been wrong fifty percent of our days
here. How many teams have you seen come in here with charred suits and eyebrows melted? Are you going to stake someone’s death on your need to be right?” Becca was so angry her limbs trembled, causing the baby to get jumpy as well.

“I didn’t want to remind you of your insubordination earlier,” Becca continued, trying to calm down. Sirus had done a good job of embarrassing Julia, and Becca didn’t want to rub it in when it was obvious Julia was taking it so hard, but the time for being the kind, nurturing boss had ended with Julia’s foolish actions this morning. Her assistant would have to work her way back into Becca’s good graces.

“Let’s get something straight, Julia. I’m only filling in on this fire. It’s my last field job. If you really want Sirus to hire you, you need to be a team player
and
you need to think outside the box.” Becca drew as deep a breath as she could given the baby was crowding her lungs. “There was a time when I thought you were perfect for this job. Prove me right.”

Becca picked up the satellite pictures and pretended to be more interested in them than in Julia. “Why don’t you take the afternoon off, think about things and we’ll start fresh tomorrow?”

“H
OW WAS YOUR DAY
?” Spider asked Becca that night, catching up to her outside the Fire Behavior tent. He’d thought about her all afternoon and evening. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was pushing for no other reason than to tie up loose ends. Now he greeted her as if she were…a good friend? He didn’t have any female friends under the age of fifty who weren’t married to one of his buddies and out of circulation.

“Long.” Becca’s blue eyes were huge in her pale face. Upon closer inspection, Spider could tell she was close to collapsing from fatigue.

“You ain’t kidding. Have you eaten or rested? You look like hell.”

“Thanks.” She crinkled her forehead in that way she had of showing her displeasure. “I’m still mad at you for calling me delicate.”

“You know what I meant.” He took her arm and headed to the dining area. “Did you eat?”

“I had some fruit earlier, and then things got crazy. Where were you?”

“I spent the evening with the caterers. Sorry I missed your briefing.” She’d noticed he was missing. That made him smile. “Did the briefing go well?”

“The same as usual, except a couple of guys tried to get me to extend my predictions past twelve hours.”

Everything about her looked tired and drawn, from her sagging shoulders to the dull sheen in her eyes beneath the stitches on her temple. Spider knew little about pregnant women and pregnancy, except what he’d heard from his friends about their wives’ pregnancies—growing a baby in their tummy wore them out. Becca looked ready to collapse.

“You didn’t spill anything, did you? Like when you think the fire will cross the highway?”

“The only thing I spilled was on me.” She tugged on her shirt to show him a red stain over her breast. “Strawberry jam from this morning.” She stumbled.

Aiden swore as he steadied her. “You need a keeper.” She scared him with how frail she seemed.

Becca drew on some hidden well of reserves, straightening—which only thrust her belly out more—and somehow managing to look tougher. Still tired, but tougher. The more he saw of her, the more he admired her, though he had no idea what to do with those feelings.

“I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time and doing pretty darn well,” Becca stated firmly.

“And now you’re taking care of two, and you’re not doing so hot. You can’t keep up this pace. I’m going to tell Sirus that you need to rest.” Before fatigue sent Becca to the hospital.

“You’ll do no such thing.” She walked steadier now, as if drawing strength from her indignation. “I’ve got to be bullet-proof if I want to get that position in Boise, Aiden, and, frankly, things aren’t going as planned.”

He chuckled, despite the concern she’d raised. “You’ll be fine. You know, no one calls me Aiden but you.” They were almost to the chow area now. Encased in evening shadows, it was nearly deserted.

“I’m not calling the father of my baby Spider,” she said in a low voice.

There was something about her statement that filled Spider with pride. He was going to be a dad. At some point soon, he’d figure out how to be a dad and a free-wheeling bachelor.

“You sit. I’ll bring you something.” Aiden settled Becca on a bench. She was so tired, she didn’t argue. Then he filled a plate with cold pasta, ham steaks, bread and fruit.

She didn’t talk much while she ate. Mostly she smiled weakly and waved at people who passed by or stopped to place a bet with Spider.

“Why do they call you Spider?” she asked, pushing her plate away and propping her chin on her palm as she leaned on the table with droopy eyes, looking completely kissable.

He was starting to get used to the longing she aroused in him.