Ex, Why, and Me (18 page)

Okay, enough teasing. She shucked off one shoe and then the other. They went skittering across the floor. She knew her sudden move surprised Ryan.

But didn’t he get it? She couldn’t take any more of this. She grabbed the hem of her shirt, yanked it over her head, and tossed it on the floor. Her bra followed quickly behind.

Her hands trembled as she unzipped her jeans. By the time she kicked them into the pile of clothes and stripped off her panties, the boldness had disappeared. She fought the instinct to cover herself with her hands as Ryan’s hot gaze swept over her body.

Her skin felt tight, waiting for his next touch. Her nipples furled into hard buds. The vulnerability crashed over her. She didn’t feel powerful or beautiful. She didn’t feel anything like a goddess.

She was standing naked in front of a fully clothed man. Presenting herself and waiting for him to accept the offer. She was suddenly and completely afraid to look at him.

Michelle slowly lifted her gaze and met his. She froze when she saw the feral hunger in his eyes. Color streaked across his cheekbones. His head shook as his restraint started to slip. This was definitely a man who had been pushed to the edge.

“I…I’m trying,” his voice was a low, dangerous growl, “to go slow.”

She rolled her shoulders back. “Take me now.”

He lifted her against the wall and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He probed her with his finger and found her wet and ready. Her flesh gripped and surrounded him and she whimpered when he retreated.

Michelle slathered his face with kisses as he grabbed for the condom. She captured his earlobe and bit down hard as he cursed and ripped open the foil. Jabbing her tongue in his ear, she waited impatiently for him to slide the latex over his cock.

And finally his hands were on her thighs. She had no time to think, to breathe, before he drove into her.

She gasped and arched against him. The wall bit into her back as she raked her nails across his shoulders. Michelle flexed against him, again and again. She couldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop as she chased the sensations ripping down her body at each thrust.

The white-hot sparks danced across her pelvis and gained speed before sweeping through her veins and shattering through her mind. She closed her eyes as she succumbed to the intense pleasure. Everything stopped. And then she felt herself falling and held on tight to Ryan’s shoulders, pressing her lips against his throat as she groaned.

She found herself on her knees, straddling Ryan. His hands roamed her breasts as his eyes glittered with desire. Michelle rocked against him. Flexed and rotated her hips. She grinded against Ryan as his thrusts grew harsher and his hands pinched her breasts.

His thrusts grew deeper. His cock pressed firmly into her core. She moved against him fast and furious until he thrashed underneath her. He froze, his mouth sagging open, but no sound emerged.

Michelle slowed her hips as she watched him slump against the floor. The look of sated pleasure on his face made her smile. She leaned forward and kissed his lips softly. “Next time, we’ll need to put down a blanket.”

He didn’t say anything. Didn’t open his eyes. Didn’t smile.

A sense of unease prickled at her. “I am coming back,” she insisted.

Ryan showed no expression. He didn’t nod his head. Didn’t open his eyes. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“I will come back.”

Famous last words. Michelle shook her head in disgust as she opened the security door to her Chicago apartment. She was cold and tired. Drained from a crazy, full day, just like yesterday and the day before.

She couldn’t believe her newest creation was causing a buzz. The traditional cake with small treasures baked inside wasn’t a brand-new idea. Who knew that it would create a sensation?

Of course, it helped that the pastry chef had found a real buried treasure.

The cake was popular for the Christmas holidays. Christmas. Michelle paused on the steps to her apartment. She couldn’t believe it was already December. She had told Ryan she would be back. That hadn’t happened yet, although she called frequently.

But the calls weren’t enough. They had become shorter and shorter. Tense. Silent.

It was her fault, she admitted as she trudged on to her apartment. She had promised she would come back. She wanted to. Just for Ryan.

But she was becoming something of a coward. She didn’t like that part of her personality and was finding it difficult to gather the courage to fight it.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t realize someone was waiting by her door until she almost tripped over the familiar tennis shoes. She did a double take.

“Ryan!” Without a second thought, she launched into his arms. Tears filled her eyes when she fell into his embrace. She inhaled his scent, her throat hurting.

Michelle noticed he didn’t say anything. He just held her. She pulled back, not sure what to do, or how to greet him. She wanted to jump on him and kiss him breathless, but the expression on his face made it hard to figure out how he felt about seeing her. “What are you doing here?”

“I decided you weren’t showing up.” There was a hard edge to his teasing smile.

She ducked her head and made a show of finding her keys in her purse. “I wanted to come back. You don’t need to escort me back to Carbon Hill.”

“Don’t worry,” he said softly. “I’m not.”

Oh, God. What did that mean? Her hands shook as she grabbed her keys. “How’s your family?” she asked brightly.

“Good.”

“They’re keeping the bowling alley?” She busied herself by opening the door to the apartment.

“Yeah, for old-time’s-sake. Fully remodeled this time around.”

And that was where his life was going to be. But could she go back? It was a nice place to visit. Briefly. Like a weekend. “How’s everyone else doing?”

“Had you come back, you wouldn’t have to ask,” Ryan said as he walked behind her and entered her home.

She was going to let that rebuke go. Because she knew she had been in the wrong. “And how is Annie?” Michelle asked as she hung up her purse and tossed her keys on the table next to the door.

“Hugs me every time I see her.” Ryan looked around the cheerful apartment. “She just can’t seem to get over the fact that she’s an instant millionaire.”

“And…you?” she finally asked as she removed her coat.

He turned and met her gaze head-on. “I missed you.”

Michelle closed her eyes at the pleasure and pain the words brought. “I missed you, too.”

“Then why didn’t you come back?”

She hung up her coat and leaned against the wall. “I can’t live in Carbon Hill. Not anymore.” She shook her head with regret. “It’s where my family is, and it’s where my roots are, and it’s where you are, but it’s—”

“I know.” He said it gently, which seemed to hurt even more.

Of course he did. He understood her more than she understood herself. And he wasn’t giving up on her. That was the real surprise.

And that was why he had been so sure she wasn’t coming. She had meant it. Was determined to follow through, but had ultimately failed.

She had failed them both. Showed her shortcomings right in front of Ryan, the very last person she wanted to disappoint. All because she couldn’t face her fears. She didn’t live up to her own expectations and hated it. “I’m sorry you came all this way to hear that.”

“That’s not why I came.”

She gnawed her bottom lip. “It’s not?”

“No, I’m here to stay.”

“Stay?” She jerked her head up and saw him shrug off his coat. “Stay where?”

“Chicago.”

She frowned as she tried to comprehend what he was saying. “Where-what-no.” She held her hands out, halting her chaotic thoughts. “Why are you staying?”

Ryan looked away and his smile was almost shy. “I’m enrolled in an art program starting in January.”

No. Way. She couldn’t believe it. “You are not.”

“Am, too.” He glanced back at her, his eyes twinkling. “Wanna see the acceptance form?”

She shook her head. “I’ll take your word for it. But what happened to the no-need-to-pursue-my-art spiel?”

“Well”—he scratched the stubble forming on his chin—“I met this really annoying woman who made me realize that the gnawing in my stomach had more to do with my art than what I thought was boredom.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. So, I’m going to do it. Find out how far I can go. See what I can do.” He took a big sigh. “And what I can’t.”

Michelle walked over to him and held him tight. She was thrilled for him. Proud. She felt as though she had influenced him and it would enrich his life.

“I might find out that I suck.”

Maybe too much of an influence. Michelle pulled away and gave him a punch to his ribs. “Stop it.”

Ryan smiled and dodged her next punch. “But I need to know that I gave it a shot. That I’m not going to regret missed opportunities.”

“Sounds like a good plan.” She lifted her eyebrow. “You do know that you’re staying with me.”

“I don’t know.” He looked around. “Is this what multi-millionaires can afford in Chicago?”

“I’ve been too busy to apartment hunt.” She had been hiding. Avoiding. It sounded as if Ryan wasn’t going to let her get away with that anymore.

“That reminds me.” He stepped away and pulled a jewelry box from his coat pocket. “I have something here for you.”

Michelle opened it up and smiled when she saw the golden chain. “It’s the necklace! You remembered.”

“I also bought that purple triangle pendant thingy,” he said proudly.

She looked in the box, but there was no pendant. She looked back up at Ryan.

“Guess you’re going to have to hunt for it.”

She snapped the jewelry box closed. “Aren’t you going to give me a clue?”

“I love you,” he said in a rush.

She froze and the box fell from her hands. Her heart raced at warp speed. What did he say? “Is that the clue?”

“Yes. No,” he blurted out. Ryan shook his head. “I mean both. I mean…Michelle, I love you.”

She placed both hands against his face and kissed him. The joy kicked inside her and she kissed him again. She leaned into him to deepen the kiss. Placing her hand against his chest, she felt the pendant under her palm.

Ryan groaned against her mouth and pulled away. “How did you find it so fast? I guess I’m not good with clues.”

“Yeah, you are.” Her hands crept along the back of his neck and she tilted his face down so her mouth could brush against his. “But I know how you think. That’s why we make a good team.”

“Good?” He swept her into his arms. “Michelle, when we’re together, we’re the best.”

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Viva’s gaze slid over his bare chest, his hair still damp from a shower. The towel looped around his neck, he gripped the ends. Did it get any sexier?

“You’re one terrific guy, ya know.”

He smiled gently.

“I’ve seen courage before, but you take the cake.” She let her feet touch the floor.

“Give yourself some credit.”

“For trouble, sure. But nothing like what I’ve seen.” She pushed his hair back off his forehead. He had hero written all over him, she thought. “Do you
fear
anything?”

Sam stared into her soft green eyes, and saw the truth. “Only you.”

“Why?”

“You do things to me.”

Her lips curved. “Screw up your mission, force you to come rescue me, twice?”

“Who’s counting.” He leaned in.

Viva felt swallowed up by the look in his dark eyes, intense, for sure, but something else she’d never seen in a man.

“You make me want to crawl inside your skin and find out what makes you tick.”

Tears blurred her vision and she inhaled sharply, a perilous feeling tumbling through her. “No one’s ever tried,” she whispered, touching the side of his face.

“Lucky me.”

She smiled softly, a tear falling.

“Don’t cry, it tears me up to see it.”

“So now it’s all about
you,
huh?”

He chuckled. He never knew what to expect from her. She was the most unpredictable woman he’d ever known, and she fascinated the hell out of him.

She grasped the ends of the towel, pulling him near, and his hands on either side of her slid along her thighs, her hips.

“This is dangerous,” he said, his face nearing hers.

“Define danger.” Her mouth lingered over his and she slipped off the chair, straddled his lap.

God. He could feel the heat of her through his jeans. “You, in
any
form, me hot as hell to have you.”

“And time alone with no one shooting at us,” she finished. “And let’s not forget I’m naked under this robe.” Her mouth trailed his throat, and she caught his earlobe and nibbled.

Sam felt himself go cross-eyed with desire. “Oh, Jesus. You’re making me come apart again, Red.” He kissed her hot and quick.

“Is that all?”

He gripped her hips, ground her to him, and proved she had him in her grasp.

“You’ve had a rough couple of days, and—”

Her gaze flashed to his and he saw it, the memory, the moment when Ryzikov violated her, when she felt she’d die. “I know my own mind, Sam, and I think—yours.”

But she didn’t.

She had no idea how close she came to
not
dying today.

Ryzikov had plans for her, a personal brand Sam had seen once before. The bastard would have taken her to the edge of her life, then jerked her back; a reprieve that would have lasted only till the son of a bitch wanted to witness his control again. The marks on her neck were only the first layer.

Seeing them made him relive his fear, admit he’d never been so scared in his life than when he couldn’t find her, couldn’t protect her. It ate him alive. She had no training, no defenses, nothing to help herself, and then, she proved him wrong—again.

“Sam?” She frowned, wondering what he was thinking about so hard. “This zoning-out thing is not a good sign and my ego is terribly fragile. I might not recover.”

He smiled slow and broad, then cupped her jaw in his broad palms and kissed her. Really kissed her. Not like he hadn’t done a damn fine job before but this time, he was full of patience when she wanted to plow ahead. Each roll of his mouth made her toes curl, her skin tighten. Her soul opened.

“I can’t ignore you, baby,” he said against her lips. “It’s physically impossible.”

Her body reacted with quick shivers, her hands spread wide over his chest. “Mmm, command of the body. It’s a good start.”

He met her gaze, something battling behind his dark eyes. “You and me, we’re more than that.” His fingers flexed on her jaw.

Viva went still inside, and swore her heartbeat just plain stopped. Was he for real? No one had ever spoken to her like this. She covered his hands, pulling them from her face and gripping. “Seriously?”

“I don’t say anything I don’t mean.”

“Me, either.” Her gaze lingered over him, her hand spread over his bare chest, the contours of muscle defined and rippling. It made her hot to see all that man, and know he was hers for tonight. She lifted her gaze to his as she tugged at the robe’s sash. She’d never been shy, never let what she wanted escape.

Yet he hesitated. “Me or erasing his memory?”

She smiled with feline grace and spread the robe, exposing her breasts and loving his jaw-dropping look. “Oh, if you don’t know that by now, we really aren’t communicating well enough.” Her hand went behind his neck, and she drew him close. “Let me fix that.”

Her tongue snaked out and slicked his lips and he groaned as he sank into her. The terrorist’s touch evaporated with each press of his mouth on hers, in the way he touched her, as if he’d never get the chance again. It was a rare sensation for her, and the bounty of it flowed into an empty place in her, in the scattered loneliness she’d lived for years. And she ached for more, greedy woman. There was no question in her mind when she slid the robe off her shoulders, and let it pool at her hips.

He swallowed, his gaze riding over her body. “Oh, man, you’re—”

“Ready and willing?”

“Beautiful.”

Her heart just got lighter, she thought, sliding her arms around his neck and sinking her fingers into his hair. Her breasts grazed his chest, and in his ear she whispered hotly, “Wanna rock and roll with me?”

“Jesus.” Sam slammed his eyes shut.

Then she kissed him.

Pure heat and wild hunger. And more. Sam felt the power of it speed down his body and fight for escape. Instead it built, a need like sucking in a lungful of air that wouldn’t come, and he struggled. It almost scared him, opened up feelings he’d buried for the missions. Fighting it was impossible. Viva made him feel. Just by her very existence. She was her own adventure, her own ruler, and the thrills in a high-speed chase in a tight cockpit didn’t compare to the ecstasy of Viva.

Romantic. Passionate.
That’s Sylvia Day’s
ASK FOR IT,
available in August 2006
from Brava…