Ex, Why, and Me (14 page)

Ryan leaned forward. “You know, Michelle, I’m a firm believer that what happens between consenting adults should stay between them.”

“I agree. I noticed you didn’t say
two
consenting adults. Are there more involved with the Brandy thing?”

“I’m not telling you anything.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” she promised. “Cross my heart and hope to die, and all that other stuff.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I never told anyone about us,” she informed Ryan.

Ryan’s expression showed that he found that hard to believe. “No one? Not even Vanessa?”

“Not even her.”

“Hmm.”

She wasn’t sure what that “hmm” meant, or what he was reading into her answer. “So what did Brandy do? And with whom? And where?”

“I’m still not telling.”

Michelle narrowed her eyes. “I’m going to get it out of you. Take my word for it.”

Ryan’s bright blue eyes twinkled. “I’m looking forward to your methods.”

“Michelle?” Clayton said as he approached her at the picnic table. “What’s wrong with Brandy?”

“I wish I knew.”

“Huh.” Clayton looked at his team member and clucked his tongue. “She’s usually sweet and cheerful, but she’s been acting different during the hunt.”

“Stress does that to people,” Michelle responded, as if she were an expert on the subject. It was either that or yell at Clayton to open his eyes.

“It’s probably a combination of stress and exhaustion,” he decided. “Everyone is wiped out. I’m tempted to call in sick all next week.”

Michelle nodded, although she didn’t feel the same way, which was strange. She could use a nap, but she felt the energy pulsing inside her. She was ready to take on the next challenge. Ready to take on the world.

If she didn’t know any better, she’d say she got her mojo back. And it felt good.

“What are we waiting for, anyway?” Ryan asked Clayton.

“They’re still setting up something on the course,” he answered, nodding at the other side of the street.

“Course?” Michelle looked at the wooden structures she had seen earlier. “What kind of a course?”

“Obstacle course.” Clayton shrugged. “Challenge course. Endurance course.”

“Well,” she prompted Clayton. “Which one?”

“What’s the difference?” he muttered as he walked away. “They are all designed to bring pain and suffering.”

Michelle exchanged a look with Ryan. His eyebrow quirked up. “Ready for it?”

“Bring it on.”

“We came in first!” Michelle jumped on Ryan at the obstacle course’s finish line. She threw her arms around Ryan’s shoulders and held him tight. She felt as if she was going to burst with pure joy. “Can you believe it?”

“No.”

“That ten-foot wall with the knotted rope almost killed me,” Michelle confessed. “I mean, what the hell was that about? It isn’t romantic. It isn’t horseradishy. What were these hunt organizers thinking?”

“Who cares? We came in first!” His arms went around her and he twirled her around. She squealed as her legs went horizontal in the air.

“Congratulations,” Annie said as she walked a wide berth around them. “Because you came in first, you get to go first on the final challenge.”

“Did you hear that?” Michelle asked as Ryan lowered her down to the ground. “The final challenge.”

“We’re almost done.” His smile was tired but relieved.

“No, besides that.” She leaned forward and whispered, “We could actually
win
this thing.”

His blue eyes twinkled. “I thought you weren’t in it for the prize.”

“I’m not. This was for Vanessa. But after all we’ve been through, I want to take home the prize.”

“Let’s go find out more about this final challenge.” He looped his arm around her shoulders and tucked her against his side. Michelle was getting kind of used to this closeness and intimacy. Okay, she was quickly becoming addicted to it.

“You guys have done a great job,” Annie said to everyone as Michelle and Ryan walked to the group. “There were times when I expected someone to drop out. I know I would have! But you all have seen it through and now you are ready for the last level.”

The last level. It was music to Michelle’s ears. She was ready to attack and conquer the last challenge.

Annie pointed at a wooden structure with steps. It was like a tower or a fort. At the top was a pole with a wire stretched tautly that went over the bluff’s edge.

“In the legend,” Annie said, “Homer and Ida Wirt fell into the river and drowned. Don’t worry, we’re not asking that from you.”

“Good to know,” Clayton said.

“We’re asking you to do a variation of that jump. Each team member will take their turn and climb up that tower to the zip line.”

“Zip line?” Margaret asked. She looked around at the group. “What is a zip line?”

“It’s basically a trolley with a handle on it that is fitted against a metal cable,” Annie explained. “You’re going to grab the handle and zip down the line, over the bluff, across the river, and onto the lower bluff on the other side of the river.”

Annie paused and looked at the six slack-jawed expressions. “You’re going to wear a harness and a helmet,” she quickly added.

Michelle exchanged a look of disbelief with Ryan. She must be misunderstanding this level. Did the organizers really want them to swing down the bluffs across a river?

“Let me show you,” Annie said as she gestured everyone to follow. “It’s not as bad as it sounds.”

She guided them to the edge and Michelle saw a group of spectators waiting at the top of the bluff on the other side. The crowd shouted and clapped as they saw the competitors. She felt Ryan’s hand tighten on her shoulder and he maneuvered her away from the edge.

“There’s going to be a group of people who will catch you and slow you down.” Annie pointed at a team of muscular men waiting at the end of the zip line. “So you don’t have to worry about slamming into the ground on the other side.”

“Thanks for that visual,” Dennis said with a nervous chuckle.

“Oh, and you see near the end of the zip line?” Annie pointed at something metallic that caught the sunlight. “There are three keys on brass rings. You need to let go of the handle, grab one of the keys, and bring it to the bluff you’re landing on.”

“Why?” Brandy asked. “What’s so important about the key? And why is it hanging in the air?”

“Each key goes to a treasure chest that is on that bluff.” She pointed at three chests that sat next to the end of the zip line. “One of those chests holds the grand prize.”

Michelle looked up at Ryan. “When I signed the medical waiver, I thought it was a precaution,” she whispered. “I didn’t think I was going to dangle over a freaking river.”

“So…” Brandy looked over the edge and then turned to Annie. “We only have to pick one person from each team to do this, right?”

“Nope, everyone has to participate on this challenge or their team forfeits. Okay,” Annie said and clapped her hands. “Let’s get to it. Michelle and Ryan, you guys are first on the zip line.”

“That’s not fair!” Brandy declared. “What about all the times we’ve come in first? Shouldn’t that count for something?”

“Take it up with the organizers,” Annie said without looking at Brandy. “Now listen closely. Only one team member is allowed on the zip line at a time. Pick the person who has the best chance of getting the key first. If he or she doesn’t get the key, then the second member of the team will have to do cleanup duty and get it.”

“What if neither person gets the key?” Dennis asked.

“Then you don’t have any chance of getting the big prize,” Annie said. “I know, I know, after all you guys went through, it all comes down to a second.”

Everyone turned and looked at the keys glittering in the sun. Michelle felt the pressure building inside her. She could win or lose the hunt in a second.

“Any more questions?” Annie asked. The group was silent. No one said a word. Crickets chirped.

“Okay, Michelle and Ryan. I’m not going to tell you again.” She swept her arms in the direction of the wooden structure. “Climb that tower and get suited up.”

Michelle ran to the structure, her heart pounding with excitement and nerves. She sensed Ryan right behind her. He didn’t show any emotion. The guy was a rock. She should take lessons from him in displaying outward calm and serenity.

“This is great!” Michelle squealed as she climbed up the rungs to the top of the tower. “We have just as much chance of winning as everyone else.”

“Michelle.”

“In fact, we have an even better chance because we have first pick of the keys.” Michelle knew her smile turned downright wicked. “No wonder Brandy was livid. Heh, heh, heh.”

“Michelle.”

She paused from climbing and looked down at him. “What is it?”

Ryan stopped. He dipped his head as his shoulders sank. “I don’t think I can do this.”

She frowned. “Do what?”

“Ride the zip line.” He said it through clenched teeth. “I can’t do it.”

“Oh, sure you can.” It definitely promised a wild, crazy, and fast ride, but they only had to do it once. “I tell you what. I’ll go first and grab the key.”

Ryan shook his head.

“Or would you rather I do cleanup?” She’d prefer to go first rather than be required to absolutely, positively grab that key or lose everything, but she would do whatever it took to complete this level quickly and cleanly.

“No, Michelle.” Her stomach twisted with dread as he shook his head slowly. “We need to forfeit.”

“No, no, no.” Michelle’s eyes widened in alarm. “Ryan, no. We can do this.”

“I can’t.” He wanted to, he really did. If only to erase that look on Michelle’s face.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were afraid of heights?” she whispered fiercely.

“I’m not.” He had never shown the signs, but then, he had never done anything like this before. “At least, I didn’t think I was. Then I looked over the bluff and it hit me.”

“Vertigo?” she asked as she climbed the remaining rungs of the tower.

“I guess.” He didn’t like the word. It sounded sissy. He was feeling bad already admitting he couldn’t do this. He wanted to be strong and invincible in Michelle’s eyes. Why did she always see him at his worst?

She paced the small confines of the tower, dodging him and the guy in charge of the zip line. “Okay, Ryan. You’re going to get through this. It’s really no big deal. Just shut your eyes and you’ll be fine.”

“That’s not going to work.” It wasn’t that easy. When he stood on the bluff’s edge, every muscle froze. His gut instincts screamed for him to move back. He broke into a cold sweat.

“I’ll get the key on the brass ring.” She grabbed the helmets and slapped one into his hands. “You won’t have to do a thing.”

Ryan kept shaking his head. Michelle wasn’t getting it. What made it so difficult to understand?

“I’ll go first,” she offered as she put her helmet on and fumbled with the clasp.

“I can’t do it,” Ryan said. He slumped against the tower wall. Maybe she didn’t want to understand. Was the prize more important to her than his feelings?

“I really hate bringing this up,” Michelle said, her voice shaking. With impatience or with anger? “But I rode a horse because you made me.”

“I know.” He stared at the helmet in his hands. “And I feel bad about making you do that.”

“Yeah, now, when you know turnabout is fair play.” She grabbed his helmet and set it on his head. “Come on, Ryan. I didn’t think I could do it, and I did. The same will happen with you.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

Michelle’s jaw dropped in surprise. “It is, too!”

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her hands away from his helmet. “Falling off a horse is way different than plunging off of a river bluff.”

“Ryan, look at me.” She held on to his gaze. He could feel her willing him to follow her lead. “Forget about winning. Forget about this hunt. Just grab on to the handle and push off.”

He dropped her wrists. “Forget it.” That was his final decision and she was going to have to accept it.

Her fingers bit into his arms as she tried to keep her patience. “You are going to be angry with yourself if you let this opportunity go by.”

“No, I’m not.” He was going to be relieved that he didn’t allow himself to get talked into this insane challenge.

“You’re letting your fears get the better of you.”

“I can live with that.”

“Can you really?” Michelle let go of his arms. “Because that’s how you’ve been living these days. That’s how you’ve been dealing with your talent. Hiding it. Backing away. Refusing to make a choice.”

“I don’t believe this.” He turned to the harness guy who was doing his best not to listen in. “I’m standing here sweating blood and she decides this is the time to launch into a philosophical discussion.”

“What I’m talking about here,” Michelle’s voice held a sharp edge, “is fear. I’m talking about pushing out of your comfort zone. And, you know what? I am personally tired of living afraid.”

“And you’re going to prove this by jumping off of a cliff?” He motioned at the bluff’s edge. “How is that going to change anything?”

“If I can work through this, I can work through anything I face. And believe me, I’m afraid of a lot of things. And not just horses and bats and things like that. I’m talking about everyday stuff.”

This he knew wasn’t true. Michelle Nelson was the boldest person he knew. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, lots of stuff.” She tossed her arms up in exasperation. “I’m afraid I’m not going to ever repay what Carbon Hill did for me. Or that I won’t become the success everyone wants me to be. Or fulfill every expectation that is placed on me, even the ones I put on myself.”

Ryan rubbed the ache that formed in his temples. “That fear is different than what is going on here.”

“Fear is fear.” She poked her finger against his chest. “Your mind and body react to it the same way.”

“No, they don’t.”

“I’m afraid of what’s going to happen to us after this hunt. It leaves this hollowness in my stomach.” She tapped her midriff. “I’m scared to death and my body is reacting to the fear just as if I was about ready to jump off a cliff.”

Ryan closed his eyes in defense. “Michelle.”

“I’m afraid that if I try to hook up with you, you’re going to find out I’m not the fantasy you want.” She flattened her hands against the base of her throat. “Just thinking about it makes my chest tighten and my throat squeeze up.”

“You’re not going to die from it.”

“My mouth goes dry and it hurts to breathe when I think about telling you that I still love you.”

Whoa. Did she say she loved him?

“Don’t tell me that those aren’t signs of fear,” Michelle continued. “Don’t you dare.”

“Is everybody okay up there?” Annie called up.

Michelle leaned over the railing. “We’re fine,” she replied with a frantic smile. “We’re talking strategy.”

She said she loved him. Why did she say that now? Why did she choose
this
moment to tell him?

“You don’t need to cover for me,” Ryan told her coldly. “They’re going to figure out that I’m not doing this.”

“Ryan Slater,” she said as she stepped into the harness. “I expect you to do this challenge. And you know why? Because you
are
afraid.”

He glared at her. “I don’t like to be pushed.”

“No, you’re not used to it,” Michelle said as the guy adjusted her harness. She kept her eyes locked on Ryan. “No one pushes or challenges you. You’ve gotten along well enough with a wink and a smile.”

Her dead-on analysis rubbed him the wrong way. “And what happens when you go down there and you see that I’m not right behind you? No wink and a smile will make it better.”

“You got that straight.”

Whoa. No assurances that she would love him. That she would respect him in the morning no matter what. “Then what? Is that it between us? Are we through if I don’t meet your expectations?”

“Is that what you think of me?” She clucked her tongue in disgust. “Whatever you do about this challenge is not going to affect my feelings toward you. I don’t do emotional blackmail.”

He spread his arms wide. “What do you call this?”

She held her hand up. “You don’t seem to understand what I’m saying. I feel that if you don’t do this, it’s going to feel a hundred times worse than the fear you’re feeling now.”

Ryan didn’t know what to say to that. He had a feeling she was right, but he didn’t want it to be true.

“I’m not too thrilled about doing this.” She pointed at the bluff’s edge. “But I expect it of myself to finish this hunt. If I don’t, I will regret it.”

“You were ready to give up the minute you saw Lucifer,” Ryan felt compelled to point out.