Everything Changes (26 page)

You see despite the way I acted, I never wanted
him to leave. I wanted him to take me with him, or worse, stay. I would have
hated myself if he gave up his dream, but it didn’t stop me from being selfish.

I also didn’t want to let him know freaking
miserable I had been. “I miss you too,” I said, playing it cool.

“I need to see you,” was his next response. “I
wanna see you again.”

“I…uh…what?” Clear, unbroken words were not
possible. “I thought…”

“I don’t care what you thought...” he cut me off
“...come see me. If I buy you a ticket...” he paused for a moment his breathing
seemed rushed “...can you come see me in Anaheim?”

I think I was quiet for a good three minutes,
maybe longer when he added, “
Please
…”

I felt myself slipping back into him, wanting to
make him happy. It didn’t matter that he didn’t call. I was ready to jump on a
plane right then.

“I don’t know that my dad will let me out of
school for that long.” Again, I tried to play it cool.

“Sure he will,” my mom interrupted. I didn’t know
she was even listening, but I also wasn’t that surprised.

“Mom,” I sighed only slightly annoyed. I could
never really get mad at her. “Please hang up.”

“Hi, Parker,” she said, cheerful as always. “How
are you?”

“Hi, Mrs. Jensen,” Parker replied kindly with a
chuckle. “I’m doing good…just missing your daughter.”

Of course he had to add that.

“Okay, Mom, hang up.”

“Bye, Parker, good luck in NASCAR.”

I laughed and heard Parker sigh when I did, as
though he’d been waiting on that laugh for months. “It’s Supercross, Mom.”

“Oh, with those bikes, right?”

“Yes, Mom. Parker races bikes.”

“Do you want ice cream later?”

“Sure.” I laughed again, wondering if Parker was
finding this amusing or if he was annoyed.

“All right,” she said, and I heard the click of
her hanging up the line, finally relieved.

“Ro?” Parker asked softly, the words flowing
beautifully as they always had.

I missed him calling me Ro…I missed it a lot.
“Yeah?”

“So Anaheim?”

“Yeah, I’ll come.” I agreed, giving into the
excited feeling warming me at the thought of seeing him again. “How will I get
to your house?” I knew I couldn’t rent a car since I was only eighteen, and I
wasn’t exactly wild about taking a cab.

“I’m not living in Anaheim anymore,” he told me.
“I’m renting an apartment in Long Beach with Kurt.”

“Oh.”

“How about I pick you up from the airport?” he
paused, but before I could answer he said, “I’ll get the ticket and let you
know the times.”

And that was that.

Two days later, I was flying to Long Beach to see
Parker after he called and talked to my dad for a half an hour.

January
30, 1998

The day came when I left for Anaheim and my dad
gave me a ride to the airport that morning. He didn’t say much other than, “Be
careful.”

He wasn’t a man of many words and left most of my
decisions up to me. In a way, I both hated and loved this side of my parents,
but I understood
why
they did that.

My heart was in my throat, my palms were sweaty,
and I wished like hell I had time to put on more deodorant when I spotted
Parker standing near the baggage claim waiting for me.

His eyes were on the screen above him watching
the flight times.
 
It gave me a chance to
look at him first before he saw me.

He looked the same but different in some ways. My
memory of him hadn’t gotten anything wrong. He was still beautiful even through
my adolescent adoration. With the same tall build and broad shoulders, he
stance was familiar, his hands buried in his pockets.

Parker turned his head when he was bumped from
behind and smiled politely when the lady apologized to him.

Then his eyes flickered to the right and found me
standing about twenty feet from him.

I was nearly shaking with nerves trying to anticipate
what we would say to each other.

That was when I took in the rest of his
appearance. His white Yamaha hat was pulled down low on his head, shadowing his
eyes, but I saw the grin when he spotted me. Parker looked the same but his
once pale skin had been tinted with a nice golden tan. His normally dark hair
was lighter, almost coppery under some lights.

And then I saw the eyes, aqua blue, offset by the
white in his Yamaha Racing T-shirt. My memories of them didn’t do the color
justice.

From the moment I saw him, nothing else mattered.
I didn’t care that he didn’t call for months. I didn’t care that I dropped my
entire life for a boy. It was him. I did it for him.

Wrapped tightly in his arms, his head bent
forward resting against my shoulder. “I missed you,” he whispered and squeezed
tighter. “Fuck have I missed you, Ro.”

Hearing him call me that again was the spark that
ignited my nerves and reminded me just how deeply in love with him I really
was. My hands instinctively gravitated to his shoulders, the warmth comfortable
and familiar.

I let out a whimper, overwhelmed by everything,
but said nothing as he led me towards the elevators. Reaching down, he grabbed
my bag and easily threw it over his shoulder. His hand found mine.

I didn’t say anything when he grabbed it. My
heart beating out of my chest was too distracting.

Parker was quiet, as was I, but he did manage to
keep one hand on me at all times. My flight arrived late and I was starving,
surprisingly. Parker noticed. “You wanna get some food and then we can go back
to my apartment?”

I nodded but said nothing, my eyes on his hand
which was now on my thigh, as if we had never parted.

It was a strange feeling, one of mixed emotions
and jumbled thoughts. I guess I wasn’t sure how our reunion would be after
close to four months apart, but each of us attempted to judge the others
thoughts, both hesitant, both careful. Very few words were spoken through
dinner, other than talk of his racing and the shop back home. When he spoke
about his riding and how he was doing in the series, his passion for it took
over and I could feel the intensity of it.

When our conversations would grow quiet and I
would think nothing more would be said, it made me wonder why he wanted me to
come, but then again, Parker was shy and conversations weren’t always easy for
him.

Deep down I knew this wasn’t going to be
something where we just landed in bed and back to the relationship we had. I
didn’t know what this relationship was or if it was even a relationship
anymore.

After dinner we made our way back to the
apartment he shared with Kurt, all the while my mind racing with his
expectations.

Standing outside in the warm California night, I
could feel the hot swells of moisture rolling in bringing with it a storm. The
air smelled like rain, reminding me of home, but this place was very different.
We were very different from the way we were back home. I glanced around the
exotic landscaping and starry night and thought about what would happen once we
were inside this very apartment. Would we talk or would we let our bodies talk?

I tried not to let him know how much his presence
and the fact that I was here with him again affected me. Parker seemed to
notice, his gaze curious as he looked over his shoulder.

Forcing a smile, I winked at him because the
action seemed necessary. He smiled, his eyes boring into mine, and unlocked the
door, pushed it open, and then motioned with a dip of his head for me to
follow.

Even though I could barely see him, I could hear
him breathing beside me. He reached out and flipped the switch on the wall but
nothing happened. He laughed and shook his head. “Something is always breaking
in this shit hole.”

He guided me down a dark hallway that led to what
I assumed was the living room where two large windows overlooked the beach.
Against the wall was a brown leather couch directly across from a large
television that was located on the floor. Scattered along the floor were
magazines, clothes, beer cans, and a pizza box.

Parker noticed me looking around. “Sorry about
the mess. Kurt never picks up anything. It’s like he’s trying to leave a trail
to find his way back to his room.” He gave a nod down the other hallway to his
right and sure enough that was where the trail led to
—
the
last door on the left.

Parker cleared his throat. “Do you want some
water?”

“Sure.”

To our left was a galley kitchen, on the right a
tiny bathroom. He reached inside the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water
then gave me a nod to follow him down the hall as we stepped over the mess Kurt
had left.

His hand found mine and led me inside his room
that was very similar to the arrangement he had in Shelton with just a bed,
television, dresser, and night stand. There were no photos or artwork, but
there was a picture of him blown up as he soared through the air at his first
Supercross victory.

 
I could
feel Parker behind me, watching and waiting to see what I would say and do. I
could feel his breath on my neck and then his lips, like a whisper, against my
skin.

 
Like a
magnet, we were drawn here together, wanting and being what we were forced to
be. Living and breathing for a moment when we could be what we were with each
other.

Turning around, I faced him. He leaned in and I
leaned forward too, his eyes holding a certain amount of pain and desire I knew
very well.

I wasn’t sure who moved first, maybe we both did,
but the space between us closed up and Parker let out a shaky exhale through
his nose the second we connected. It was so full of tension and desire, I felt
like it burned my skin.

The first moment was hesitant, just us holding
still, lips on lips. As Parker’s fingers found the skin on my hips sneaking
under my shirt, his mouth moved over mine, and I responded at once. First it
was hot and needy. His lips soft and subtle, he opened his mouth, and I opened
mine. Then it was a movement of tongues and gasping and moaning, but what
really got to me was his moaning and grunting. His hands slid higher and pulled
me forward, my chest against his. My hands that were on his shoulders moved to
his hair, threading it between my fingers.

His fingers dug into my hips, and I could feel
every fingertip. I wanted to raise my legs and wrap them around his waist or
maybe just crawl inside of him to get as close as I could. Instead, I kissed
him harder, pouring as much emotion as I could into those kisses.

Parker responded, kissing me as if he had been
waiting on our kiss to breathe. It was sometimes soft and absolutely
devastating. Then it was hard and desperate, and I felt like he might die
without my kiss. I felt it in every inch of him that was touching me. He wanted
this.

His hands moved from my hips to cradle the back
of my head and then pushed my hair to the side. His mouth moved from my own
with a gasp and then to my neck.

With a sigh I closed my eyes and tipped my head
back, letting him have contact with his lips, his tongue, and teeth all over my
skin. I let him take what he wanted, giving any part of myself to him that I
could.

I hung on desperately, wrapping both my arms
tight around his shoulders, pulling myself right against his chest. We moved,
colliding against the wall and then the bed.

“I’ve thought about you every day, Ro.” Parker’s
warm intoxicating breath blew across my face as he hovered over me on the bed
now, and it was if we had never been apart. My legs were gripping his hips, the
rough fabric of his jeans scraping the sensitive skin of my upper thighs.

His hand left my leg and gripped the back of my
neck angling my face better for what he wanted. And I wanted him to take it. I
hung on for months waiting for this, and now I gave myself to him again,
whatever he wanted.

Lying on his bed, we were still fully clothed,
but I knew that wasn’t going to last long. I felt that burn in my gut and the
tingle between my legs anticipating his next move. The insecure part of me
wondered how many girls over the last few months had experienced this very same
feeling he was giving me.

How many girls slept in this very bed?

How many girls had he whispered the same sweet
words to?

It wasn’t long before his large hands moved up my
body and his lips found mine. Leaning in, I took anything he offered because I
wanted this just as badly. I missed him just as much.

Parker moved, his legs nudging mine apart before
his head dipped down to my ear. “Are you okay with this?” he asked, settling
between my naked legs. “I don’t want you to think that’s the only reason I
asked you to come.”

“Yes,” I moaned, just as his mouth clamped down
on mine. “I want you…I want this.”