Every Day a Friday: How to Be Happier 7 Days a Week (30 page)

According to Psalm 126:2, “Our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing. Then they said among the nations, ‘The L
ORD
has done great things for them’ ” (
NKJV
). When you’re filled with laughter, others notice. You bring honor to God when you live a joy-filled, faith-filled happy life.

There is too much sadness in our world. Many people have lost the joy of living. They’re burdened down by problems, heartache, and disappointments. Make it your business to bring joy wherever you go.

There are already enough sour people. You and your smile should stand out in the crowd. One of the best examples you can set is to smile so brightly and laugh so warmly that others just want to share in your joy. They’ll want to leave the dark bondage of sadness, depression, and no hope to stand in the light of your optimism and upbeat attitude.

I’ve also found that when you are positive and friendly, you attract more of God’s favor. When you are a blessing to others, God brings blessings your
way. He rewards those who reflect His goodness and make the world a more welcoming place.

I recently met an older man who appeared to be in his seventies. I was surprised when he told me he was 106 years old. It wasn’t just his unlined face or healthy appearance that threw me off. He was just so happy, so mentally sharp, and so engaged with everyone around him. He stood in the line nearly forty minutes waiting to visit with me. I told him we could have pulled up a chair for him so he would not have had to stand.

“I don’t need to sit down,” he said. “When I grow old, I’ll sit down.”

He was a good-natured, handsome African American fellow.

“I can’t believe you’re 106. You don’t have a wrinkle on your face,” I said.

“Joel,” he replied, “black don’t crack.”

Then he ran off two or three more jokes. We laughed and laughed. I normally don’t like it when someone in my church has better jokes than me, but I forgave him.

When he walked away, he turned around and said to everyone, “I’ll see you next year.”

I had no doubt that God would reward him with another year because he was spreading so much joy everywhere he went. I thought to myself that it was no wonder he seemed so healthy; he was so full of joy. He had a great sense of humor. He loved to laugh. Think about all of God’s natural healing that had been released and flowing in him all those years.

Sometimes we think the older we are, the more somber we should be and the less fun we should have. But I don’t believe that’s God’s plan. The Scripture says, “If only I may finish my course with joy” (Acts 20:24
AMP
). If you don’t have joy, laugh regularly, and take the time to play, you will not finish life the way God wants you to finish.

One of the things about the 106-year-old man that struck me was that he enjoyed poking fun at himself and his advanced age. He saw the humor in growing old, and he laughed at the same things that might frustrate others
in their later years. Being willing to laugh at yourself and at life’s ups and downs may be one of the greatest gifts you can have.

We’ve all known people who throw fits when they make mistakes. Some throw golf clubs. Others throw their bats and helmets. A few throw punches. How much fun are they to be around? But the person who laughs at mistakes, flubs, and goofs is someone people want to share their time with.

When we first moved into the former Compaq Center, the security folks gave me a key to the back area where we park our cars. This was a very strange-looking key. It was small and oblong, kind of fat, and plastic. I had never seen anything like it before. I went to try it on the door, but I could not figure out where to insert it. There was no slot for it. I tried to fit it in the doorknob key slot, thinking maybe it would open up more and take it. No luck.

After ten minutes of trying, I gave up and went to the security station and told the guard I couldn’t figure out how to open the door.

He offered to go to the parking area and show me. So I gave him the key and back we went. When we arrived at the door, he reached up to the side of it and touched an electronic panel. I didn’t even know it was up there!

When he just touched the panel, the door automatically opened because the “key” he’d given me put out an electronic signal to it, like a garage door opener or a remote car key.

When I told the guard how I’d tried to use the key in the doorknob, he laughed and laughed.

I thought,
I’m glad you think it’s funny, because we’re going to miss you!

You’ve heard the saying “If you can’t beat them, join them.” That really was pretty dumb, so I laughed along with him.

The other day I had breakfast alone in a hotel room and when I was done I wheeled the breakfast cart out into the hallway so they could pick it up. I forgot until the last moment that I only had my shorts on. Not gym shorts, underwear.

I’d already opened the door and had the cart halfway out when it hit me. I peeked my head out into the hall and nobody was out there, so I pushed the cart all the way out, but the back legs got stuck on the threshold.

I had to pick up the rear of the cart, lift it out of the room, step out into the hall, and push it against the wall.

As I did that, I heard a
click
.

That was the sound of my hotel room door closing and locking, with me in my underwear still out in the hallway.

Have you heard the phrase “All dressed up with no place to go”?

Well, I was
not
dressed at all, and there was no place to go!

My heart sank.

I saw a housekeeping cart about five doors down. I ran to it as fast as I could and got a towel and wrapped it around me. The cleaning lady came out, and I asked her if she could let me into my room.

“I need your ID for that,” she said.

“It’s in the wallet in the pants I’m not wearing,” I replied.

I kept smiling, remembering how it had helped with the airline ticket clerk. The housekeeper went for it, too. After a few minutes, she opened the door, stared at me strangely, and said, “You know, you look different on TV.”

“Yes, I usually wear clothes for my broadcasts.”

To tell you the truth, she laughed some at that, but I laughed louder than she did. It takes a secure person to laugh at himself, especially when he is pants-less in public.

People around me tend to laugh a lot. Since smiling attracts people, they probably make many friends on my account, but that’s okay. I’ve spent more than twenty-four years keeping Victoria healthy and surrounded by friends because of my ability to make her laugh—even when I’m not trying.

That’s a good thing, because research has also shown that the couples and families who laugh together stay together. They have stronger relationships and tighter bonds. As you might suspect, we are a very tight family.

A few years ago, right before I stepped onto the platform to minister, Victoria told me that my hair was sticking up in the back.

“Put a little hair spray back there,” my wife said.

I didn’t know where the hair spray was.

“It’s back in the bathroom, on the shelf, in a red can.”

I was in a big hurry so I hustled back and grabbed the red can off the shelf. Then I sprayed and sprayed that little sprig of stand-up hair, but it would not stay down. So I sprayed it a couple more times and headed out the door.

After the service that day, Victoria said, “Why didn’t you spray your hair? It was still sticking up.”

“Victoria, I did spray. But that hair spray you gave me doesn’t work. I sprayed and sprayed.”

She then kindly offered to show me how to use hair spray. I brought the red can out and handed it to her.

She studied it for a second and then broke up laughing.

“Joel, this isn’t hair spray. This is air freshener.”

I just smiled and said, “You know what? Even if it does stick up, I’ve got the best-smelling hair around.”

Laughter is a great addition to every home. The enemy cannot stand the sound of joyful laughter. He cannot stand the sound of husbands and wives and family members having fun together. He wants there to be so much strife, tension, and pressure that we never have any joy in our homes.

Don’t fall into that trap. That’s one thing I appreciate about Victoria. She loves to laugh. She keeps a fun atmosphere in our home. When Victoria laughs she doesn’t laugh to herself. She doesn’t laugh under her breath. When she laughs it fills the whole house with joy.

Her laugh is so contagious I can be sitting on the other side of the house, minding my own business, watching television, but when I hear her laughter, I feel like laughing, too. Before long I find myself laughing just because she’s laughing.

Usually, I just have to go find out what’s tickling her so much. That
happened recently and I found her holding a photograph of our son, Jonathan, when he was just a baby, maybe six or eight months old.

We hadn’t looked at that photo in a long time. I’d forgotten about it entirely. But one day we’d put a wig and sunglasses on him, and our son looked like a little baby Elvis. We had a good laugh at that, especially since Jonathan is now a very good guitar player!

If you have small children, there’s no reason not to laugh every day, not just at them and their antics, but with them, too. Don’t get so caught up in all the pressures of parenting that you don’t take time to enjoy your children and see the humor in what they do.

When Jonathan was about two years old, I heard this loud screaming coming from his bedroom. I knew he was having a nightmare. I ran up there as fast as I could, opened the door, and Jonathan was sitting up in his bed, his eyes as big as saucers.

“Jonathan, what’s wrong?”

“Daddy,” he said, “the Holy Ghost is under my bed.”

I assured my son he had nothing to fear from the Holy Ghost.

Our daughter, Alexandra, is equally entertaining. When she was about that same age, I’d work on my weekend messages for church in an office right outside our bedroom.

One day Alexandra strolled in and said, “Daddy, can we go play?”

“No, Alexandra, not right now. It’ll be another hour or so before I finish this.”

Every five minutes she returned.

“Daddy, is it time yet?”

Again and again, she’d ask me.

I felt a little frustrated with her so finally, when she showed up at my office door again, I said, “Alexandra, listen, I’m trying to concentrate. Please don’t come back in. I’ll come get you when I can play.”

Five minutes later, the door creaks open and this sweet little-girl voice says, “Daddy, are you still trying to constipate?”

“No, honey,” I said. “I’m actually pretty regular!”

Friends often ask Victoria and me about the secret to a healthy marriage. We always tell them two things: Number one, respect. Always be respectful, even when you disagree. And number two, laughter. Don’t ever stop laughing together. Make sure your house is full of joy and happiness. We don’t have to work at that; it seems to happen on its own.

The other day I walked into our bedroom and Victoria was over in the corner reading something with her back to me. I had come home much earlier than I had planned. I realized she hadn’t heard me walk in. I debated whether to say something, but instead, I decided to just quietly wait for her to notice me. I thought that might be better than startling her.

I thought wrong. When she turned around and I was there, she must have jumped three feet in the air. I know they say white people can’t jump, but Victoria got some air.

She had this shocked look on her face, and I could not help but laugh and laugh.

There was one problem with that.

Victoria was not joining in. In fact, she looked upset.

I tried to stop laughing. Really, I tried to zip it, but the harder I tried, the funnier it hit me, and the louder I laughed.

After a minute or so of watching me laugh, Victoria finally gave in and began laughing, too.

But by that time, I was over it.

I was done, but she couldn’t stop laughing. So, I joined in for a few more minutes just to keep her company.

If your relationship isn’t what you’d like it to be, I recommend a good dose of humor, laughter, and joy. I know the pressures of life can weigh on the best of marriages and test the love of even the most devoted, but it might help you to remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Remember the things you enjoyed doing together, the fun and the laughter that made you always want to be together? Forget what’s pulling you apart. Go back to the laughter that made you want to go from being single to being a couple.

If you would bring that joy back into the home, you would see a freshness,
a new life in your relationship. That is what some friends of mine did. They were good people who were struggling in their marriage. They loved each other, but they were under a lot of pressure, and it was pulling them apart. They needed a break from their troubles so they decided that once a week, they’d put all the struggles aside and watch a funny movie together.

The first night, they sat there and laughed and laughed some more. It was the first time either of them had shed tears of joy, instead of sadness, in a long time.

The next week, the same thing happened. After a month or so of this, they noticed that their troubles didn’t seem quite so heavy. They found that their focus shifted from problems to solutions.

When I saw them next, they marveled at how something as simple as a “Funny Movie Night” could have such a major impact on their relationship and their lives.

Their laughter altered the atmosphere of their home. Their tears of joy washed their relationship clean of its tarnish. They were no longer struggling. They were snuggling.