Every Boy's Got One (14 page)

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: Where are you?

I’m still in the dining room, finishing breakfast. Where are YOU?

J

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: Where are you?

Outside. Hurry up and finish and get out here. You’ve got to see this. Mark and Cal are trying to cram all of our bags into the trunk, only they won’t fit. So they’re doing physics. All serious, like it’s a puzzle or something. Something actually IMPORTANT. Get out here, or you’ll miss it.

Holly

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: Where are you?

I’m not done with my yogurt yet.

J

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: Where are you?

Oh my God, it’s just YOGURT. Get out here. You can have yogurt anytime.

Holly

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: Where are you?

Not like this. This is the best yogurt I’ve ever had.

What does Fett-Grassi 3.7g mean anyway?

J

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Holly Caputo

Re: Where are you?

Fat grams.

Holly

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: Where are you?

SERIOUSLY??? SATURATED OR UNSATURATED??? OH MY GOD, I’VE EATEN FOUR CONTAINERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To: Jane Harris

Fr: Claire Harris

Re: How are you?

Hi, honey! Thank you for emailing me back so promptly. I hope you made it to your hotel all right. Things here are good. Well, except for Dad nearly broke his tailbone from a fall off the roof as he was cleaning the gutters. But he bounced off the hydrangea bush, so all is well.

I don’t want you to worry, but after I wrote you yesterday I ran into Holly’s mother again, this time at the Kroger Sav-On, and I mentioned how lovely I thought it was that you all were going to Italy to stay in her uncle’s villa, and Marie didn’t seem to know a thing about it. I know I wasn’t supposed to mention the elope ment, but Holly did tell her mother she was going to her uncle’s, didn’t she? I hope I haven’t spoiled anything.

Love,

Mom

PS Cal Langdon, the reporter with the
New York Journal
? Why, I just saw him on
Charlie Rose
the other night! He was being interviewed about some big book he’s just written. Apparently, it’s selling very well. He’s very handsome, Janie.

Still, imagine not thinking Mark should marry Holly. Those two were made for each other! And who’s never heard of Wondercat? What has he been doing, living under a rock???? Well, I guess so, actually, since his book is about Saudi Arabia….

Mom

To: Claire Harris

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: How are you?

Hi, Mom! Things here are fine. Well, except that Holly and I are waiting for the guys to go check out of the hotel so that we can rearrange the way they’ve packed the rental car. It’s too small for all of us, plus our luggage, so Holly and I have to sit in the back with Holly’s giant suitcase. Which we don’t mind, especially, except that they packed our bag of Toblerone in the trunk. What good will it do anyone there?

We leave for Holly’s uncle’s villa today. It’s about a four-hour drive from Rome to where the house is, on the Adriatic coast. I can’t wait to see it! Everything here is just so different and fun. Even the yogurt is better.

But then I found out that’s because I was eating full fat yogurt for the first time in my life. Oh well.

I wouldn’t worry about Holly’s mom. People in their family borrow their uncle’s place all the time, since he’s away so much.

Tell Dad there are people he can hire to clean the gutters.

Love,

Janie

PS You saw Cal Langdon on
Charlie Rose
? It figures. He is so full of himself. And as for his not thinking Holly and Mark are perfect for each other… Please! I don’t even like to remember what Holly was like before she started dating Mark. I mean, remember the whole green hair phase?

And you’d have to have lived under a rock not to have seen Wondercat’s recycling campaign at D’Agostino. There are circulars for it everywhere.

J

To: Holly Caputo

Fr: Jane Harris

Re: What is up with this?

Why did you let Mark drive?

J