Envious (2 page)

“Well…”—here goes—“I could help you study. I’m a really good tutor.”

His eyes jumped back to my face anxiously. “You wouldn’t mind? I know you always seem kind of busy, but you really wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course I don’t mind. It’ll be fun. And, if you want, you could sign up for the same class times as me for the spring semester. That way I could help you then too,” I said, smiling wider than I thought my mouth should ever stretch. I hoped that I didn’t look too entirely grotesque. This was my chance. I’d waited lifetimes for this opportunity to arise, and I was actually brave enough to take it, to take what I deserved.

“Yeah. Cool. Thanks. Hopefully you won’t get sick of me,” he teased.

1892

I stood in a long, beautiful white dress. It was my débutante party, giving me the opportunity to impress all of the polite people of my hometown in Virginia. However, as usual, I was doing nothing of the sort. Standing alone in the ballroom, with no one paying me any mind. I nervously coiled one of my curls around my finger, looking around the room, staring at all of my guests. Meanwhile, of course, all of their attention was on Aurora. My father and mother had arranged this party for me, and only me.
Why does she always have to steal the attention?
I would never know.

“Excuse me, Miss.” A man passed by me, a striking man, a
young
striking man. The kind any girl would fawn after. I watched him walk past. Tall, blond, straight-backed, obviously a young man of high class, who was clearly more interested in Aurora than he was in me. He began to dance with her, being a perfect gentleman, gazing softly into her eyes. I knew right then that they would spend the rest of their lives together in perfect happiness. Although I wished that I would one day find a similar happiness, I knew it would never come to be. Not in this lifetime anyway.

CHAPTER 2

ONE PLUS ONE

I spent as much time as I could in preparation for my study date with Eric, but it was impossible to look my best while Aurora kept coming in and out of the tiny dorm room we shared. I didn’t want her suspicious that I was trying to look good, because then she would realize that I was trying to look good for her boyfriend, and that would
not
be good.

Sitting on my stiff bed, I applied strawberry lip gloss to my thin lips. I tried to do something with my hair. It, of course, wouldn’t do anything. I pulled it back in a ponytail, but it frizzed out around my ears. Where was my hair spray? It wasn’t on my dresser where I always put it. Aurora must have taken it. It was like she wanted me to look bad. Stupid Aurora. Stupid hair. I took it down again and hoped for the best.

With my books under my arm, I raced across the campus to the picnic tables in the quad where we planned to meet. The campus wasn’t big. It was actually pretty small: one of those private colleges where meeting someone new was surprising, yet somehow I knew next to no one. I was in the fall of my second year and still had not made any new friends other than Eric, although I didn’t try very hard either.

The campus was arranged around a large rectangular quad. All of the buildings were situated at the rectangle, facing inward toward a large green with the parking lots hidden behind them. The only buildings inside the quad were Admissions and the Student Center, AKA the cafeteria. The arrangement made the campus seem like its own little world. The benches in the quad were spread out and arranged in a way that made you feel alone and yet a part of everything at the same time. That feeling was the reason most people loved to sit there to study or chat; for me it was a reason to seek someplace else to go. I would have chosen to meet in the library, but when Eric suggested the quad, I couldn’t say no. I was too excited by the fact that he wanted to meet with me at all.

I checked my watch. I was two minutes late, but I was sure that I would be early compared to Eric. I wanted to be there before he was so that I would have the chance to assemble myself into the perfect vision of beauty and desire.

My heart sank as I rushed out from behind the Admissions Building and saw him, his light hair shining even in the shade. He waved me over to a picnic table. That wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. I had wanted
him
to come to
me
. I breathed in deeply, hoping it would calm my nerves. I gently smoothed my cream-colored sweater into place, straightened my dark denim skirt and attempted to casually walk up to him.

“You’re late,” he commented as I set my books down across from him.

“So, may history boot camp begin,” he grinned.

“History?” I asked.

“History… mythology… same difference,” Eric added.

“Mythology isn’t history. It’s fake. Stories told to keep life interesting,” I corrected him.

He laughed at me. “What makes you think it’s all fake? It could be real. Don’t be so quick to judge, Sandra.”

“Who’s teaching who?” I asked, clearly annoyed at his comment. His bright smile died out. I hated that I had caused that change, but if he didn’t learn anything from me in these study sessions, he would have no reason to continue with them or with me.

I began to teach him all about the mythical Greek gods until he seemed to show some sign of understanding. It was taking longer than I thought it would. He really did need my help.

“Remember Athena?” I asked.

“Yeah, she’s like you. Smart…goddess of wisdom.”

I blushed at his comment. Comparing me with a goddess, that had never been done before. Eric gazed into my eyes and I couldn’t help but notice how his blue t-shirt made his eyes seem so deep. I felt I could fall into them.

“Well, yes, but she was also the goddess of war.”

“Who was goddess of the hunt?” he asked. We hadn’t gone over that.

“Artemis,” I told him.

“That’s right,” he exclaimed as if something had just clicked in his head. “My uncle has her tattooed on his arm. Loved to show it off whenever we went hunting.”

“You hunt?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah, I guess,” Eric said, his face beginning to turn pink. “I actually try not to hit anything. I don’t like the killing part of it.” He began to smile and laugh a bit as he continued, “My family could never understand why I did so well with targets but couldn’t shoot a rabbit. Those darn Disney movies,” he said through his laughter. “I can’t seem to get Thumper and Bambi out of my head.”

I smiled back at his goofy grin. It seemed funny to think about Eric hunting, and even funnier to think of him pretending to. He
was
from the country. I guess hunting’s a family thing out there.

“What?” he laughed.

“Are you serious?” I asked carefully. He burst out laughing.

“Yeah. I can take you shooting sometime if that’ll help prove it.”

“No, no thanks.” I’d never held a gun, or even seen one up close, unlike my cousin. And I did not want to be anything like him. Not that I thought Todd even knew how to actually shoot one.

“All that hunting and you never killed any animals?” I asked.

“Uh…just once,” Eric admitted, looking down guiltily. “My brother and I were meeting some friends down by the crick and on our way there, we got into some trouble. We saw a baby black bear, and I guess Ryder, my brother, got too close. The bear’s mom came out of nowhere and attacked him,” Eric told me, seeming so vulnerable as he talked.

“I had my Remmy with me, uh, it’s a rifle,” he explained, continuing on, “There’s coyotes and mountain lions around our house, so I usually had it with me. It’s a good thing too, cuz I shot once to try and scare the bear away. You know, it only made it madder, so I had to bring it
down. It was the bear or my little brother, you know?” he said, the worry still evident in his face. It made me want to hug him.

“Was he alright?” I asked.

“Yeah. Ryder was pretty messed up, but he made it. Scared the crap out of me, but he recovered alright. He won’t go back to the crick though.”

“Wow,” I said, completely amazed by Eric. He was more than just a pretty face, and so much more than the lacrosse-playing jock I used to think he was.

“Yup. That’s the kind of hazards you have living in the sticks, I guess.”

“So, you have a farm, right?” From what Aurora told me, it was huge.

Eric shifted uncomfortably and I immediately regretted asking. “Kinda. My grandparents own the farm, but I did grow up there. We’ve got a trailer down by the pond.” His cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“There’s a pond?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Eric answered, a big grin growing on his face. “Oh, the pond’s great. We keep it stocked. You like to fish?”

“I’ve never tried.”

“Fishing’s the best. I loved being on the pond.” Eric leaned back, smiling to himself, completely enthused. “After a day of bailing hay, nothing’s better than jumping off the dock into that cool water.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Yeah?” he asked. I nodded happily. “You’d jump into a mucky pond?” he challenged with a smirk.

“If I had the right motivation,” I countered.

“And fishing?”

“It could be fun.”

“Would ya mind convincing Aurora of that?” he laughed.

“Ha, good luck with that,” I told him.

“Yeah, she’s not all that outdoorsy. She’ll swim in a lake, but-”

“Only in big lakes,” I finished for him.

He nodded, smiling. “And forget fishing. I don’t know why she keeps pushing me to take over the farm. She won’t even go there.”

I knew why. Money. She was seeing dollar signs.

“Actually, you might like fishing,” Eric offered. “You could bring a book,” he said, playfully pushing my textbook toward me.

“How am I supposed to catch anything that way?”

“I’ll watch your bobber.”

“What’s that? A bobber?”

Eric burst out laughing. “I am definitely taking you fishing. It’ll be hilarious!”

“Alright,” I muttered, waiting for him to calm his laughing. I smiled, a bit, but I took offense to his laughter.

“What’s a bobber?” he mimicked me, still laughing.

“We’re getting off topic. Focus,” I said, my tone serious. I pushed the textbook back toward him, making his giggles end, but he clearly had no intention of focusing.

“I
can’t
! I need study food. So hungry… wasting away… goodbye…” he whined as he sank playfully under the table. He was like a kid who had never grown up, making jokes and laughing at them, pulling stunts all the time.

“Come on, Eric. Quit playing around,” I barked at him. He moaned as if to remind me that he was “dying” under the picnic table. Suddenly I realized that I was wearing a skirt. Oh, how embarrassing, if he could see anything. Well, if he did see something, he made no mention of it as he slid up onto the bench next to me. My face, however, burned bright red. Hopefully my skirt was long enough to cover everything.

He gazed pathetically at me. “Can we get food
now
? I really am
hungry.”

“Fine, you can go now.” That was it, the end of my time with him.

“Aren’t you gonna come? I never see you eat. You’re getting
too
thin,” he said as he stood up, stretching as though we’d been at work for days.

“I’ve always been this thin, Eric,” I spat out angrily. “If you don’t like it, too bad.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean to make you mad. It’s just… Aurora’s worried about you.”

Aurora, that dumb slut. She was talking about me to Eric, about how I don’t eat enough? What else has she been saying? “I’m not
anorexic
, Eric. There’s nothing to worry about. If Aurora really cared she’d keep her nose out of my business.”

I collected my books into my arms and stormed away. My perfect day had gone so wrong, so… wait. This whole thing, it was Aurora’s idea wasn’t it? Studying together so she could use Eric to spy on me? That bitch. That damn bitch.

I hated her.

I rushed back to the dorms and into my room. The room I shared with Aurora. I hated that name. It made her sound like freaking Sleeping Beauty. What kind of a name is
Aurora
?

Our room was so small, and, by the look of it, it was mostly Aurora’s. Our beds were each pushed against opposite walls, separated by a window at the center. Our dressers and desks lined the wall next to the door, opposite our beds. Her bed, the first thing anyone saw when they entered, was always some bright color, pink or purple, with orange pillows. Mine was blue. I had wanted red, a small attempt to make a change in my life, to discover a hidden side of myself, but Aurora had whined and complained until I got a blue comforter, just like back at home. Next to my bed was a little white table I had bought, with a blue shaded lamp and black alarm clock on it. That was literally all of my décor input. Our walls were covered in her bright, artsy posters. The curtains around our window were pink. She had a purple and pink rug woven with a floral design beside her bed, with a fuzzy purple fold-up chair set on it. A tall mirror hung behind that, and, of course, the frame around it was pink.
Pink, pink, pink!
I was so sick of pink. I was so sick of all of her stuff surrounding me all the time.