Enough (34 page)

“They’re
here?” I asked.

“Yeah, I saw a few signs.”
He said reaching for my hand.

I love
the carnival. I love the stuffed animals even more.

“Yes!
When do you want to go?” I asked.

“Whenever you want.”
He said.

I thought about everything to do today. I walked Gizmo, which I will have to do again, the carnival, should
my friends spend the night here so we go to the track earlier? What will we do if they come here? We can do anything. Sounds like a plan.

Alex was in the shower when I thought about all of this.
I also got rid of the photos. I cut them into teeny tiny pieces and threw them into the trash.

W
hen Alex came out, he wasn’t wearing a shirt and I couldn’t help but stare. His body is perfect. And delicious. He dug in his duffel and pulled out a white t-shirt.

“What do you want to
do?” I asked. I raised my legs and tried my best to look sexy. I even bit my bottom lip as Alex climbed into bed.

“You know what that does to me.” He said staring at my lips.

“Not really. You never show me.”

So he did. Only
a PG version. My family’s home so we can’t do anything like last time…for now.

It was almost noon when I decided
to go to the carnival. Alex drove there and the place was packed. I didn’t think anyone would be there. Everyone usually comes at night. We got tickets and spent hours playing games. I won a giant panda when I won the water gun race. Alex couldn’t believe it. The last stop was the Ferris wheel.

“This was one of the best days that
has happened this winter break.” I said. Alex sat next to me and the panda sat across from us, supervising.

“I have to agree.” He put an arm around me and kissed me.
I never thought I’d be one of those romantic couples kissing on the Ferris wheel but here I am.

When the ride was over
, Alex walked over to a fried dough station. When he handed it over I couldn’t help but smile. This is what we ate on our first date in Berkley.

I saw a few k
ids from school at the carnival. They kept staring at us and it was starting to get creepy so we left. Aside from that, I had a really fucking amazing day.

Alex’s
phone rang when we walked into the house. I saw a large man standing in the living room and I froze.

“I have to take this.
I’ll be right back.” Alex said.

“Go ahead.”
I said. He went back out the door as I walked into the room. It’s Mr. Diaz. Jose. Rachel’s husband.

“Emily.” Jose
said pulling me into a tight hug. When he pulled away, he held my shoulders. His thumb on the wound. He noticed and let go of me then he wiped his brown eyes and ran a hand through his dark hair.

I panicked.
“Is everything okay? Is Rachel–”

“Rachel’s fine.
” He said. “Thanks to you. She told me what you did. I just wanted to say thank you. From both of us. She can go home tomorrow.”

“I didn’t d
o anything except get her into that place. It’s my fault she–”

“You saved her life.
” Jose said. “She wanted me to check on you and she wanted me to tell you it’s not your fault.” He pulled me back into another hug. A gentler one this time. “All right, it’s not your fault.”

I nodded a
nd we ended up talking a little bit more.

He left when Alex came
back in.

“Do you have
the panda?” He asked looking around.

“No…
it’s probably in the car.” I said.

“I’ll get it.” I waited by the door. I thought about what Jose said. Rachel sai
d it wasn’t my fault but I still feel like it was. Giovanni even told me I should have moved. Obviously they held her hostage so I would go to Seattle. I am the reason she was treated the way she was.

I was lost in thought when Alex placed the panda in my face. I looked up and almost jumped back.

“What’s wrong?” He asked noticing something is off.

“Nothing.” I took the panda and walked up the
stairs.

Gizmo was lying on my
bed when we walked in. He lifted his head up, saw it was us then laid back down. I tried sitting on my bed but Gizmo barked. “Is he serious?” I tried sitting down again but he barked louder and growled. Wow! My dog is a douche.

I too
k off the comforter and placed it on the floor. I stole the pillows and threw them down hard. Gizmo kicked me off my bed. What the hell! I left the door open a crack so Gizmo can leave when he pleases. Hopefully it’s soon.

I brought my purse and panda over and sat cross legged on the floor. Alex didn’t want to tempt Gizmo so he sat next to me.

I took out my phone and did my daily routine.

Sophie: Do
you want us to come over??

If they wanted to they can
.

Me:
Yeah, I want to talk about something. Just let me know when you’re here.

I eyed the panda.
Why can’t life be like yours?
I thought. Sit there and look pretty. Easy.

“
Emily?” Alex asked. He tilted my chin up to look at him. “That was Mr. Diaz, right?” I nodded. “Is everything fine?”

“Yeah
, he just came by to say she’s fine and that it’s not my fault she was hurt.” A tear slid down my cheek. I played with the panda and stared into its fake eyes. “Alex, it is my fault.” I said. “No one talks about it but I want to. If I just moved none of this would have happened. No one would have gotten hurt.”

He wiped away the tears with his thumb. “Emily, if you left
, he probably would have hurt someone else.” He looked at the panda then back at me. “If you left, we wouldn’t have this.” He said. And that’s what kills me too. If I moved, everyone would be okay but I wouldn’t have this with Alex. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“They’re coming over. I want to talk about it with them.
” I said looking up at him. “We do have some time alone though.” I leaned into him and he slowly went back.

I have issues. One minute I’m crying and the next I’m attacking my boyfriend.
When his back was against the floor, I pressed my body against him. I took my shirt off and threw it on the bed. We can’t do anything because the door’s open and I’m not going to close it. I’m lazy.

Alex’s hands
went to my hips.

Gizmo jumped down from the bed and barked at us. I shooed him away with my hand. He jum
ped back on the bed and yelped.

Alex
slid his hands up my back and pressed me closer to him. I love when he kisses me. I love when he touches me. I have to say his lips were made for mine. They fit perfectly together. His breath was hot against my skin. His hands, warm everywhere he touched. I was getting lost in him.

“W
e’re here!” Someone yelled. I looked up in shock. The door was wide open and everyone was standing at the doorway. “Oh, sorry.” Tiffany said. She grabbed the door and shut it.

Alex
helped me up when I tried to stand. “What are guys doing here so early?” I asked when Tiffany opened the door again.

“We had nothing to do.”
Sophie said. It’s weird that they pop up like this but I missed it. I missed them. Gizmo greeted Tiffany and Sophie with a few licks and jumps. When the guys walked in, he started going crazy.

“Gizmo!”
I snapped. He turned around and walked toward me. I picked him up and held him against my chest. “What did I say? I won’t keep you if you’re mean.” He gave a sad growl then licked me. I put him back on the floor and he went back to the guys. He sniffed them and finally gave them a lick.

“He’s so cute!” Sophie said as her eyes followed Gizmo around the room.
I walked over to my bed and grabbed my shirt.

“How did you guys get in?” I asked.

“Declan was about to leave so he let us in and your door was open.” Tiffany said. I saw everyone had a duffel bag slung over their shoulders.

“What is it you want to talk about?”
Bryan asked taking a seat on my bed.

“If you want
, we can go to my place.” Alex said. He knows I need to talk about this. He’s trying to help me. I really did get lucky with him. Damn, I am so grateful that I met him.

“I would
, actually. Do you guys mind?” I said. I want privacy to talk about this and his place is perfect. I don’t want my family to hear the details about what we’re going to talk about.

“Let’s go then.” Zach
said.

Right when he said that, a huge brown teddy bear appeared at my door. The person holding it
is hiding but obviously it’s Declan.

“Declan, what are you doing?” I asked.
Everyone stared at him. He didn’t talk though. The bear’s arm waved me over. “Seriously?” The bear’s head nodded. The arm was waving me over again. When I didn’t move, the bears head sank down into its fluffy chest. “Fine.” I said giving up. I walked over and stood in front of the bear. I grabbed it and stared at it. It’s really soft. Cute. Then I looked up. Ohmygod! I turned around quickly and stared at the floor. “What are you doing here?!” I snapped. One of Declan’s friends is standing there. Jeremy. The guy Dec lent the car to. Not only is he Declan’s friend but we have history. When I was younger…I had a huge crush on him and it was mutual. And it went a little further then that this summer. Shit. He’s here.

Declan’s friends look
like him. Green eyes, brown hair and buff. I called them the ‘Quintuplets’ because there are five of them. Declan, Jeremy, Chris, Will, and Robert. Tommy is the only one that doesn’t look like them and he’s gay.

“What? I can’t come by and say hi?”
Jeremy asked.

“Jeremy…I told Declan I didn’t want to see anyone.”
I said.

“There’s a room full of people
here.” He’s right. Fuck! I exhaled loudly and made the bear cover me up. I turned around.

“I’m sorry…but I just don’t…what are you even doing here?”
I asked.

“We heard what happened. I just wanted to see if you’re okay.” He looked around the room and said hi. “T
he bear has a surprise inside.” I pulled it away and found the hidden pouch in its stomach. A huge jar of Nutella is inside. “To keep you happy. I see everyone’s bringing chocolate and flowers…Nutella beats all that.” Jeremy said.

“
Thank you.” I tried to hug him but the bear got in the way.

“Who got you the panda?!”
He asked frowning.

“I won it.”
I said.

“I was about to say…
” He said holding my eyes. “So, I should go. Declan’s waiting for me.”

“Are the other guys with him?”
I asked. Jeremy nodded. “Tell them I still don’t want to see anyone. Unless they bring me Lindt white chocolate or Hersey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme. I might make an exception.” I said.

“Got it. You’re using us?”
Jeremy asked. I nodded. “You must get that from your dad’s side. Declan’s a saint.” He said.

I stared at him
and furrowed my brows.

“What?”
I asked. He doesn’t…right…

“Um…” He scratched the back of his head. “It was a joke…I should go.”
Ohmygod. He doesn’t?!

“Wait…” I stared at the bear. “You knew?”
Jeremy looked around the room then met my eyes and nodded. “How long?” I asked.

“A few years.”
He said. That’s it. I dropped the Nutella back inside the bear and handed it back to him.

“Take your stupid
fucking bear back.” I said.

His expression changed. “What? Em…
I didn’t mea–”

“Jeremy, get the hell out of my room.” He stood there staring at me. “You knew and you never said
anything.” I snapped.

“It wasn’t my place to
. Declan–”

“Save it.” I threw the bear at him and
grabbed the door. “Some friend you are.” Then I slammed it shut.

I grabbed my purse and
threw clothes inside Alex’s duffel bag. Everyone is looking at me and I don’t care. He knew and he never said anything. “I’ll talk to him.” Tiffany said leaving the room.

I grabbed my phone and looked up.

“Let’s go.” I said opening the door. I found the bear leaning against the banister and I ignored it.
Fuck you, Bear
.

Everyone walked with me in silence.

Declan and his friends were staring at Jeremy and Tiffany talking as we walked out. I went straight to Alex’s car and everyone else went to Liam’s. “Emily!” I looked back at Declan. How could he?!

I sat down in the seat and stared ahead of me. Jeremy tried to make his way
to me but Alex stopped him. They said something then Jeremy nodded. I can’t believe this. He knew. For years! He lied to my face all this time. He could have told me and speared me the trouble of almost hooking up with my brother!