Endless, Forever (5 page)

“Better half,” Oliver said with a snort.  “I’ll have you know I’m very humble and almost never do things like this.  But
you
asked for it, if you recall.”

Gabe blushed a little, hiding his face behind the menu, but Oliver could see the sides of his eyes crinkle with a smile.  “So, what’s good here?”

Laughing at the subject change, Oliver shrugged and flicked through the short menu items.  “No idea.  Like I said, I never do stuff like this.  We should order the most decadent thing on the menu, though.  Like…lobster tail smothered in fois gras and truffle oil.”

Gabe giggled, face still behind the menu.  “I’m a vegetarian.”

“Christ,” Oliver muttered.  “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?”

“Not on your life.”

Oliver felt his heart pounding at how easy it was all coming tonight, how comfortable and wonderful it was.  Never had he connected to someone like this.  Like he’d known Gabe all his life.  He took a breath and his eyes settled over his menu at the other man.  “Fine.  Just order the most expensive salad then, and you’d better have at least four more drinks.  The bill had better not be less than a hundred bucks.”

“Trying to get me drunk?”

“Trying to break my bank, more like,” Oliver said with a wink.

The pair eventually did decide on food, sharing a roasted brussels sprouts appetizer, and another cocktail.  The food was delicious, the table lovely in spite of it being too dark to really enjoy the waterfront view, and the company got better as the night went on.

They skipped dessert, and Oliver gave a pleasant laugh when he saw the bill had just broken a hundred by a handful of cents.  He passed over his card, and when the bill was paid, the two walked hand-in-hand out the doors, and into the chill night air.

“Fancy a stroll?” Oliver asked.  “I feel like I ought to walk off a bit of the booze before I try to drive you home.”

“Mm, good point.  We could take off our shoes and walk on the sand.”

It was possibly the most sappy, romantic thing anyone had ever suggested to Oliver, and he was all over it.  They raced to the low, stone tide wall, casting their shoes down and rolling up their cuffs.  Gabe took his hand again, and they padded over the soft, dry sand to the hard-packed wet, and began to wander toward the brightly lit pier miles down the beach.

The wind had a bite to it, and the water which occasionally nipped at their toes, was too cold to be comfortable, but Oliver swore he had never felt so happy in his life.  His hand was warm in Gabe’s, and though he wanted to throw him down to the soft sand and kiss him stupid, he also felt content just walking.

“So, good date?” he asked.

Gabe gave him a curious look, head cocked to the side, a smile playing at his lips.  “Not bad.  I mean, for being your first.”

“Room for improvements?” Oliver asked with a cheeky smile.

Gabe giggled and yanked him a little closer.  “Maybe.  We’ll see how the rest of the night goes.  But a fancy dinner and a walk on the beach—hard to beat that.”

“Better than going out to the clubs and cleaning up my brother’s vomit, yeah?”

Gabe rolled his eyes.  “Definitely.  Though…
was
that a date?”

“It might have been,” Oliver said, and in a bold move let go of Gabe’s hand to wrap his arm around his waist.  Gabe made a startled noise, but moved in a little closer, and held Oliver right back.  “I mean, had it not been for the fact you’d intended on hanging out with Leo, and didn’t remember me from the café,
and
interrupted my attempt to chat-up a cute Texan…it might have been.”

“Big regrets there?” Gabe asked, smiling over at Oliver.  “About the Texan, that is?”

“Hmm.”  Oliver stopped walking, twisting in Gabe’s arms to cup his cheek.  His head cocked to the side as he pretended to contemplate the question.  “He was cute, but
you
are something much better.”

“What’s that?” Gabe asked, his voice barely audible over the shallow waves.

Oliver grinned.  “Well, I’m not entirely sure there are words for it, you know.  Just…”  He trailed off and let his thumb trail over Gabe’s cheek.  “Would it be incredibly inappropriate if I wanted to kiss you right now?”

“You mean on a moonlit walk on the beach with the waves crashing over our feet?” Gabe asked with a laugh.  “
Incredibly
inappropriate.”  He fisted his hand into the front of Oliver’s shirt and yanked him so close, their noses were touching.  “Not that I’d mind.”

“Oh.”  Oliver’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, and he could feel Gabe sucking in his breath.  “Well then…”

Gabe tilted his head to the side just as Oliver closed the distance between them, and their lips met.  It was slow, a deliberate kiss without any of the romance-novel hysteria behind it.  Oliver kept his hands in a firm grip over Gabe’s hips, and with parted lips, their breaths mingled together.

Their mouths closed together for a moment, locking, holding each other in place with a warm tenderness Oliver had never experienced before.  Then they broke apart, slowly and carefully, Gabe’s hand still in Oliver’s shirt, Oliver’s fingers gripping into the waistband of Gabe’s jeans.

“That was nice,” Gabe whispered.

Oliver bent his head forward, pressing their foreheads together, and he grinned.  “More than.  Do you think we might include kissing in these promised cuddles?”

Gabe reached up to brush the back of his knuckles across Oliver’s cheek. “I think that might be arranged.”

“How incredibly excellent.  And I have to say, my head is feeling rather clear now, so if you’d like to get back to the car, we can head over to yours.”

“Netflix and chill?” Gabe asked.

“Really?  You sure
you’re
not the fuckboy here?” Oliver snorted a laugh, but he pried himself away from Gabe’s grasp, taking his hand and they hurried to their shoes.  The promise of intimacy that stretched beyond sex, beyond what Oliver had only known before this, was seeping into his bones, making him
want
things.  And Oliver was enjoying these short moments of not denying himself for the sake of others.

It was definitely something he could get used to.

Chapter Six

For someone who had never experienced a relationship, the first week of having an official boyfriend felt like a triumph.  Unable to ignore classes, Oliver did his best to stay focused, rewarding himself with phone calls, visits to the café for sweet, small kisses, and the promise of a pizza night at his place with Gabe, and the entire weekend to themselves.  Gabe readily agreed, and Oliver found himself oddly surprised that Gabe seemed as eager to spend time with him as Oliver was.

But he wasn’t about to question it.  Not now.

“I cannot
wait
to meet this boyfriend of yours,” Cocoa said Friday afternoon as she closed her laptop.  “Seriously, I have never seen you mooning over anyone ever.  It’s…bizarre.  Like you’re a pod person or something.”

“Fuck off,” Oliver said, but he was smiling as he dug into a bag of jelly beans, carefully selecting out the pear flavored ones.  “You’ll like him, though.  He’s funny—like proper funny.  And adorable.  And…”

“Please stop.  You’re starting to sound like a Disney Channel special.”

“They’d never be as gay as I am,” Oliver said with a wink, mashing the sweet between his teeth.  “Anyway, he’ll be here after his shift, so I’m sending Leo out for pizza.”

Coco’s eyes widened.  “You mean to tell me King Drinks-A-Lot is staying in?  On a
Friday
?”

“I might have used a smidgen of bribery,” Oliver said with a shrug.  “But yes.  Are you incredibly impressed with me now?”

Coco rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.  “Maybe a little.  So pizza and beer, and movie or something?  Or should we be super lame and play scrabble?”

“I would
never
be that heterosexual,” Oliver complained.

“I’ll have you know plenty of people play scrabble.  Including raging asexuals like myself.”

Oliver shook his head.  “You’re just conditioned to believe things like scrabble are normal, Co.  Trust me, they’re not.  At any rate, I really only like Cluedo, and I can’t seem to find it anywhere, so I think we’ll have to go with movie.”

“Fucking lame,” she said, but by her tone, she was happy for him.

Coco had been his roommate long enough to become invested in his life, and though she never really lectured him on his choices, he could tell she worried.  But she was like a sister to him, so he was more than excited to introduce his boyfriend to her, and to have a quiet night in.

Leo was heading down the coast for the weekend, him and a few friends, leaving just after dinner.  It was Oliver’s real test, to see if he could make good on his promise to let Leo have some space.  Not just for Leo, but for himself, too.  Gabe hadn’t been wrong, and he knew it.  It was time to start pulling away, and to prove to his brother he trusted his decision making.

“I’m going to pick up the beer,” Coco said, interrupting Oliver’s thoughts.  “If I let your brother do it, he’s going to buy that cheap American shit, and you can’t expect me to put that in my body.”

Oliver waved her off, and went back to his reading as she grabbed the keys and headed out.  He was attempting to get the last of his revising done before Gabe showed up, mainly because he wanted absolutely nothing hanging over his head for the entire weekend.

He was hoping things would go further than the kissing.  He was enjoying it, enjoying getting to know the other man and settling into a proper relationship before getting too physical, but he was craving more.  Every time Gabe smiled at him, white-hot desire shot through his belly, coiling down into his fingers and toes.  He could tell Gabe wanted him, the heat in their kisses growing in intensity every time they saw each other, but they were trying to be responsible.  To take it slow.  To learn each other.

Just as Oliver finished one section of his paper, he heard footsteps on the stairs and turned to see Leo wandering into the kitchen.  His brother was dressed in tight, shiny yoga pants and a loose, tunic-like blouse.  His hair was pulled into an intricate knot on the back of his head, and he was wearing a smear of gold shadow over his eyelids.

“I thought you were staying in,” Oliver said.

Leo looked down at himself, then rolled his eyes.  “I am.  Well, until Mikey gets here.  It’s not a crime to want to look pretty, you know.”

Oliver snorted.  “As you like it.”  He glanced at his last sentence, deleted a few words, but his head wasn’t in it anymore.  Leaning on his elbow, he turned back to his brother.  “Leo, are you trans?”

Leo, who had a glass of juice halfway to his mouth, froze.  “Er, yes, I am.  Why?”

“You’ve never really explained it,” Oliver replied with a shrug.  “Haven’t really said much after joining your group, and I was wondering.  Am I misgendering you?  I call you my
brother
, and I call you Leo, and if it’s wrong, just tell me.”

Leo’s face softened, and he turned, leaning against the counter.  “It took me a while to sort it out.  Even now, I’m not entirely sure how I define myself.  I keep reading more and more about being genderqueer, and there’s just
so
sodding much.  But I’m comfortable with my name, and I’m alright if you call me your brother.”

Oliver relaxed a little, then nodded.  “Alright.  But, if it changes just…just say something, alright?  You know I just want you to be happy.  I just want you to be
you
.”

Leo chuckled fondly.  “Yeah, I know.  Anyway you should go get ready.  Shower.  I’m pretty sure that smell is coming from you.”

“Oy!”  Oliver lifted his arm to sniff himself.  “I smell like a fucking field of roses, you absolute twat.”

“Only because you’re used to the stink.  You’re never going to get laid like that, you know.”

“I hate you,” Oliver grumbled.  But he went upstairs anyway, and busied himself with getting washed and fresh for the night.

By the time he was done, wearing loose jogging pants and a tight black t-shirt, Gabe had arrived and was talking with Leo and Coco at the kitchen counter.  Beers were already cracked, and one of the pizza boxes open.

Oliver let out an affronted gasp.  “You started without me?”

“No one’s fault but yours, mate.  I didn’t think it was going to take you two hours,” Leo said, shaking his head back and forth.  “Also, how is it you can spend so much time in there and come down still looking like
that
?”

“You are so rude.  How are we related?” Oliver complained as he slid up next to Gabriel.  He leaned over to nuzzle his boyfriend, reveling in the heavy smell of espresso.  “Mm, delicious,” he muttered into Gabe’s ear.

Blushing just a little, Gabriel reached up to cup Oliver’s cheek and pull him in close.  “I think you look very nice.”

“He’s biased,” Leo said.

“So what if I am?” Gabriel gave Leo a winning smile before Coco announced they should take everything into the living room and start the movie.  The three deferred to Coco who put on something with subtitles, a romance, but they were talking and laughing, paying no attention to the plot.

By the time Mike arrived to take Leo, Oliver was a little buzzed and surprisingly relaxed about his brother spending an entire weekend away from him.  He got up though, to hug him goodbye, and held him tight for a second.

“Be careful.  Please.”

Leo huffed, but squeezed Oliver’s shoulder fondly.  “I will.  And you know you’ll get a text if anything comes up.”

“Just don’t let it,” Oliver stressed, then gave his brother’s cheek a hard pat before he was out the door.

“That’s my cue,” Coco said as the door shut.

Oliver lifted his eyebrow as he came back to the couch, nuzzling back into Gabe’s side.  “Cue for what?”

“Oh, Andi and I are redecorating her apartment, so I decided to let you two lovebirds have the place to yourselves and get up to your naughty business.  You can thank me in the form of a giant gift basket full of chocolate.  I like the dark stuff.”  With a wink, she jumped up from the floor and stretched her back.

Feeling completely mortified, Oliver hid his face in Gabe’s neck as his roommate sauntered out of the room.  “I’m sorry.  They’re horrible.  I
swear
I have no expectations for this weekend.”

Gabe reached over, pinching Oliver’s chin between his fingers and thumb, and turned his head.  “What if
I
do?”

Swallowing thickly, Oliver cleared his throat.  “Well erm…I think I’d be alright with that.”

With a small laugh, Gabe pressed their noses together.  “Would you?  Mr. No Expectations?”

Oliver nudged his boyfriend hard.  “I resent the implications.  Just because I’m fine with it doesn’t mean—”

His words were cut off by Gabe’s lips capturing his in a heated kiss.  Abandoning his protest, Oliver wound his arms around Gabe’s waist, pulling him in close.  The kiss deepened, hotter and heavier than the last they’d shared, and he couldn’t help a small moan as the front of his jogging pants started to tent.

“You couldn’t even wait five minutes for me to leave,” came Coco’s amused voice from by the front door.  “Really, I don’t need to see this shit.”

Oliver turned, red and breathing a little heavy, but unashamed.  “Fuck off, then.  We don’t need an audience.”

“Behave yourselves.  Or well…don’t.”  Her laugh carried her out the door, and it slammed shut.

The room was suddenly too quiet, too still, and Oliver found himself searching Gabe’s face for any sign he was unsure.  “I want…”  Oliver stopped and took a breath.  “I want you.  But I also don’t want to push you.”

Gabe reached up and cupped Oliver’s cheek, his thumb brushing along the sharp cheekbone.  “I want you too.  I just…I want you to know I don’t have a cock.”

Oliver blinked, then tried not to laugh.  “I figured that one out a while ago, love.  If it bothered me, you really think I’d have you here?”

“I think some men, cis men, don’t entirely think about it when they date me.  I’m fairly passing, you know?”

Oliver shook his head, pulling Gabe a little closer.  “You know I fancy
you
, right?  I’m not fussed about your parts.  I want
you
.”

Gabe’s eyes darkened a little with desire, and his lips parted as he tugged Oliver in for another searing kiss.  “I was hoping you’d say that.  Any chance you want to take this up to your bedroom?”

Oliver didn’t need telling twice.  He rose from the couch, offering a hand out and pulled Gabe up in one swift motion.  They all-but raced each other for the stairs, laughing, stopping to kiss every few steps before making it to Oliver’s untidy room.  Neither seemed to mind as they shucked their bottoms, Oliver throwing back his comforter and diving into the pillows.

He made a grabby-hands motion at his boyfriend who slid along the sheets, pressing himself hard against Oliver’s front.  Wrapping one leg around his hips, Gabe ground his groin against Oliver’s rock-hard erection.

“Condoms?” Gabe breathed, lowering his mouth, sucking along Oliver’s pulse point.

“D-drawer,” Oliver gasped, throwing his head back a little to give the other man some room.  “Just…
fuck
, Gabe.”

Gabriel chuckled against Oliver’s heated skin, reaching down for the hem of his shirt, and he started to pull it up.  The motion threw Oliver, the sudden panic that Gabe might see the scars, might ask questions, and he reached out a firm hand, stopping him.

“Do you mind if we don’t?”

Gabe blinked in surprise, pulling back.  “Don’t what?”

“Take off shirts?”

Gabe tried to swallow, the motion catching in his throat for a second, and he unwound himself from the other man.  “Are you bothered by my breasts?”

Oliver’s eyes widened in surprise.  “I…what?  God, no.  That’s not…that’s not what I meant.”

Gabe’s eyes were cold, hurt, and he shook his head.  “You can be honest with me, you know.  I know how all this shit works.  I’ve been here a dozen times before and I…”

Oliver reached up, taking Gabe’s hand.  “I have scars,” he confessed.  “A lot of them.  And I don’t like to talk about it, I don’t like to think about it.  It’ll just kill the mood and…”

Gabe was frozen, his entire body relaxing just a fraction.  “Oh.  You never said.”

“I’m sorry,” Oliver said from behind a breath.  “I never meant for you to think…It’s just…it’s a thing.  It’s stupid.”

“It isn’t,” Gabe said very softly, then lifted his hand to the back of Oliver’s neck and pulled him in for a very soft, sweet kiss.  “It’s not stupid.  And you can leave your shirt on.  I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.”

“You have a right to,” Oliver mumbled against the other man’s lips.  His erection was gone for the moment, but he felt a wave of relief and comfort in those warm arms holding him tight.  “I should have explained before.  But I want your whole body, I do.  I want
everything
about you.”

Gabe kissed him for another moment, then pulled back.  “Look, why don’t we just…stop.  Just for tonight.  Let’s hold each other and in the morning…”

“Yeah,” Oliver whispered, and let his head come to rest in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck.  He didn’t want to think about the scars.  Think about his mother or how she’d ordered the wounds which were supposed to purge him of his demonic desires.  He didn’t want that evil bitch to creep into this thing he had with Gabe, this thing he was allowing himself to keep, to be selfish with.