Emmerson's Heart (25 page)

Chapter 25

****Past****

Emmerson

It was so damn hard not having Jackson at the house. At dinner, the dinner that Paul had managed to make from the frozen meals that Connie had left, I would sit and just watch the empty chair. A few times, my stomach was so sick
. I couldn’t even force anything down.

Curling up in Jackson’s recliner, I felt the separation dig a little deeper. A few times, I had caught Paul talking on the phone with a girl, with Becky, and it hurt
, too, but I could tell that there wasn’t much there. More forced than anything. He would never look at me like that anyway. Not Paul, being so much older than I was. There was what, six years between us. But just the way that his body was pressed against mine, that feeling, I wanted that again. I wanted more of that spark.

“Emmy, phone
,” Paul had called out from the kitchen as the sizzling of the meat brought my attention back.

Rolling off the chair, my heart jumped. Jackson. It had to be Jackson. He always called me. Every night just to say good night. Running into the kitchen, I slid across the floor
, almost taking Paul out as I snatched the phone. “Hello?”

“Emmy-girl, how is your night going?” Jackson’s sweet voice came through
, bringing the tears to my eyes. This was the first time since I had been at the ranch that he had been away. Not once had he ever been gone overnight, but this was what they both needed. Connie and Jackson both deserved this.

“Not bad. When are you coming home?”

“Next week, Honey. Time will fly and you will be busy with school. I will be back before you know it.” The soothing of him caused my stomach to tighten. A week was a long damn time for him to be gone. Too long. Hell, they had been gone for a week already and I just wanted him to come home.

“Hey, I finished with the hay. Anything else you need me to do before I head out?” Greg, one of Rob’s friends, walked in with his shoulders slumped. Greg, the one that I had to tutor the most. And still, sometimes, he called for a little help and I obliged. I liked him and he
wasn’t a bad guy. Blonde with hazel eyes, taller, but not as tall as Paul. Not as broad as Paul either. When he was a senior, the girls at school were constantly all over him and he did have this cute, boyish grin with the deep dimples. What was there not to like? He just wasn’t my Paul, my best friend.

“No, that’s all today. Thanks for your help.” Paul chuckled as he flipped the steaks in the pan.

“Emmy, you just hang in there, Honey, and I will be home before you know it. Okay?” Jackson’s voice came back to me as I stared at the floor.

“Have fun
,” I choked out while holding my tears back.

“I’m trying. Be good. I will call tomorrow night.”

As we were saying our long goodbyes, the tear had slipped out and I quickly wiped it away. Having Greg over helping was a blessing. With me being back in school and Rob busy with his online classes, Paul had been left with the majority of the work. Seeing as Greg had only gone to a two year college, he was available and willing to help out.

“Hey, what are you doing tonight?” Reaching over, Greg nudged my elbow
, pulling my attention to him.

“Nothing
,”
except for missing Jackson
, I added silently.

“Well, I was wondering if you would want to maybe go to a movie tonight.” Wow, had he just asked me to a movie? Really? What was I supposed to say? I never had a guy ask me out before. But it wasn’t like we weren’t friends. It was just probably because I had helped him out so much when he was in school.

“That is a no.” Paul grunted as his eyes sharpened on Greg.

“Come on, Paul. I can just go to the movie. Let me live for once. You know that Jackson won’t let me go on a date.” Maybe if it was Paul taking me, I would really want to go, but it wasn’t. This was Greg asking me. Sure, we talked a bit while we rode through the fields, but there wasn’t anything there. Nothing like having Paul
lying on top of me last weekend.

His jaw tightened as his eyes pulled back their death glare. “Fine
, Emmy, fine.”

“Okay, then. A movie.” Swallowing hard, I pulled back the tears and turned to the living room.

“I will pick you up at seven.”

“Sounds good.” A date? No, this couldn’t be. I could go out and do things with my friends, couldn’t I? This was just nothing. Not a damn thing. Besides, when any guy would see my scars, they would walk away and not look back.

After dinner, I retreated to my room and changed into a pair of nice black pants and a red blouse that I made damn sure was covering the scars on my chest. Letting my hair down, I hadn’t done anything else to it, but what was the point anyway?

Right at seven, Greg was there and we had
gone to the small theater just twenty minutes to the east in the town that was a little larger than ours. They had more there than what we did in ours, including the small theater. As the good guy that he was, he held the door for me, paid for my ticket, and his hand was on my lower back as we waited in line for popcorn.

“Emmy, thanks for coming out with me. I have been wanting to ask you for a while.” His voice was soft and his cheeks were pink. His hazel eyes shifted over to me as he shrugged a little. “Maybe I can take you out more.”

“More?” My voice caught in the lump housing in my throat. Was I supposed to feel something; giddiness, butterflies? I had no idea and there wasn’t anything there. Not like there was with Paul.

“More dates.”

“This is a date?” His smile slowly fell as the hurt sank into his soft hazels. Guilt hit me so strong. Maybe I should just try. Hell, Jackson wouldn’t allow it anyway. No way would that man ever let me go on another date. This just worked out that Jackson wasn’t home and I hoped that he didn’t find out about it either. “Not that I wasn’t wanting it to be, I just wasn’t sure.”

“I was hoping, Emmy. I like you.” There, that brought that sweet smile back to his face. It would have to work out this way. Greg was a sweetheart and Rob never had any juicy stories about him as the others I had tutored.

“Okay.” The knot tightened in my stomach as I stepped a little closer to him. I had to. I had to get my mind off Paul and get those feelings back to normal. They shouldn’t be like that. Paul shouldn’t be the one that made me feel something so strong. Greg, he was okay. He was good.

We had gotten a large bag of popcorn and two sodas, which Greg paid for even though I fought my hardest to. He did pay for the tickets. Walking me into the
theater, he let me choose the seats and I picked the middle. Placing the napkin on my knee, he smiled and sat beside me.

“Paul, it’s Emmy and Greg.” Becky’s annoying perfect voice came through the theater that had a few others in, but not many. That was good. I hated a lot of people
, anyway. “Greg, I didn’t know that you were home.”

“I just got back a few weeks ago. I wanted to finish the summer with the shop before moving back. How are you doing?” His eyes shifted over to Paul
, passing him a polite hello being surprised to see him there.

“Not bad. Just busy at work like usual. You two enjoy your movie.” Taking a step, Paul grumbled as he pointed to the row behind us.

My heart flew in my chest. He had brought a date to the movies also? And her; Becky? I heard about her all the time from Rob and Connie and how perfect she was for Paul. I still didn’t like her. She was annoyingly perfect. Not to count, pretty with her lofty light brown waves and her soft greenish-brown eyes. And then there were her skirts, her suits, and her fabulous designer clothes. Of course she could wear low cut tops like those with her flawless skin. Damn, I really hated her. 

“Maybe tomorrow we can go for a ride. I know this great place…”

“There’s too much to do tomorrow.” Paul hissed as his knee pressed into the back of Greg’s seat, bumping him forward a little.

“Paul, leave them alone.” Smiling, Becky curled up under his arm as she reached for the popcorn.

Forcing a deep breath, I rested back in the seats and the lights dimmed. As the movie started, Greg nudged my arm softly as he leaned closer to me, earning a loud grunt from behind. “I think that you will really like this. I heard that it’s pretty funny.”

Nodding, I picked out some popcorn
and then glanced back at Paul. Becky was so perfect on his arm, but his eyes were fixed on me. Then again, he was just doing what Jackson had told him to do. Watch me like a hawk.

Half way through the movie, I shivered a little and Greg put his arm around me, his hand staying clear of the danger zones
, and shifted a little closer. Just as I turned to say something about the movie, I saw his head cranked to the other side and Paul leaning over the seat. Nodding, he withdrew his arm and moved away. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed a handful of popcorn and dropped a bunch into Greg’s lap. This was unbelievable. Knowing my luck with Jackson and Paul, I would die a virgin and it wasn’t fair. I was eighteen.

When it was finally over, we had gotten to the door
and sheets of rain were coming down. Handing me the bag of leftover popcorn, Greg smiled and pulled his keys out of his pocket. “Just stay here and I will pull my truck up.”

“Thanks, but I don’t mind getting wet. It’s fine.” Taking his hand, I pulled us out the door and into the downpour. Running through the parking lot, I laughed as the rain soaked into my blouse. Greg jammed the key into the passenger door and pulled it open. Getting in, I wiped the hair back from my face
while watching him get in behind the wheel. “That was the best.”

“You are so free and amazing, Emmy. I am really glad that we did this.” Starting the truck, he turned the knob to the warm side
while letting the truck idle. “I have a jacket in the back…”

“I’m fine.” Shivering a little, I pulled my arms close to my body. Soon, the truck would be warm enough to get the chill off.

“You are really beautiful.” Leaning over the console, his laughter faded as the warm smile spread over his face. “I haven’t been on hardly any dates, but this by far, is the best one.”

“Hardly any dates? Come on. You were a god in school. All the girls were drooling over you.”

“All of them? Including you?” Raking his bottom lip through his teeth, his eyes shifted down to my lips. My heart jumped a little, but nothing like I had thought it was supposed to.

“I looked, but then again, I was your friend already.” And it was the truth. I had made so many friends that year with the girls begging me to introduce them to Greg. I didn’t see anything special about him. He could throw a football, but nothing that screamed the greatest athlete ever. He was just a good guy.

“Yes, you were.” Leaning in a little closer, he was just about to kiss me when his eyes shifted up to the passenger window and he pulled back. A curse spilled from his lips as he unlocked the door with the switch on his handle.

The door flew open and the hand wrapped around my arm. My heart leaped and danced as Paul pulled me
out of the truck and right into his chest. His jaw was tight as he looked over at Becky. “Greg, take her home.”

“Paul, you are being silly. She is….” Becky’s eyes apologized as they shifted over to me. “I’m sorry, Emmy. I tried to stop him.”

Letting me go, he wrestled with his flannel shirt as he angrily took it off, not even caring that Becky was getting into the seat that I had just been occupying. “He’s lucky I don’t absolutely kill him!”

“Paul, just stop!” Pulling away from him, the tears hit my eyes so fast, they were matching with the sheets of rain that were drowning us. Wrapping his flannel around me, he slammed me back to his chest
. I noticed how the black tank top that he had worn underneath the flannel molded to his chest, only getting tighter as the rain water soaked us down to the bones. “Why did you have to humiliate me?”

“Damn it! Get in my truck now!”
As he pulled me across the parking lot, the anger poured out of him as I struggled from his hold.

“Just stop! I just wanted to go on one date! What is so wrong with me that I can’t?” Digging the heels of my boots down, I resisted getting into his truck. “What is so
wrong with me that you and Jackson won’t let me be with anyone?”

“Because, look at yourself, Emmy! Just look at yourself!” His eyes shifted down to my chest
, snapping my heart in half. Was I really that disgusting looking? Was I that horrible?

“My scars are covered, Paul. I know that I am hideous, but I just wanted one guy to actually want me.” My shoulders dropped along with the pieces of my heart as I gave in and went to the passenger door.

His hand curled around my arm, stopping me as he tugged me close to him. His eyes darkened as he looked down into mine, bringing the heat to a higher degree. “Not the scars, Emmy. They make you even more beautiful than you already are. And you are a damn fool if you don’t see all the guys that do want you. You are the most gorgeous creature to walk this planet. But you looking like that….gives guys bad thoughts, Emmy. Bad thoughts.”

“Bad thoughts? Like what?”

“Like sex, Emmy. You looking like this only gives guys one thought and it’s to get your ass naked and….” His hand brushed against my side, causing the flames to burst into a raging wildfire through my core. “I won’t have it.”