Emmerson's Heart (24 page)

After g
etting up, he helped me with my jacket and tucked the black stocking cap on my head. Watching him get ready, my heart jumped a little more while seeing the movements of his muscles. He did have a lot of muscle, but they were different than the other brothers. And he should have muscle. I had watched him work out on his machines all the time. A few times, he had me use them to help with some strengthening, but now, I just wondered if it was all a ploy to touch me. I didn’t care too much. I liked when he had touched me.

“I like it both ways, Emmy.” Standing up, he tugged his black stocking cap on and smiled. Holding the pockets of my jacket, he pulled me close to him and drew his bottom lip through his teeth. “You are beautiful, sexy, and so damn cute.”

“Cute? Like a kitten?”

“Cuter.”

“Then kiss me.” Slipping my arms behind his neck, I pulled him down to me and slammed my mouth down on his. Taking over control, he pulled the breath from my lungs before he had pulled away.

“I have to get you out of here before I lose my mind, Emmy.” Pressing his forehead to mine, he let out a breath
while digging his eyes deeper into my heart. If he could help me get over the pain that Paul had caused, I would love him forever for it.

Taking my hand, he walked me out of the house and locked the door behind him. Walking slowly, we followed the walkway down to the path that led closer to the lake. We had walked that path quite a bit, but never hand in hand like this. His hands were always shoved into his pockets and occasionally, his arm would brush against mine, but there hadn’t ever been anything more to it. Stopping at a bench, he took a seat and pulled me to his lap. Wrapping me in his arms, he found my hands and tangled his fingers into mine.

“Mom, Will, and Rob are going to be here this weekend.” His chin nuzzled in between my jacket and neck as his lips brushed tenderly against my skin, heating me more than I had known something like that to. “I won’t have to work so I will be around, but I think that you need to spend some time with Will and Rob.”

“I would like to. I haven’t seen them since we left.”

“They really do miss you. Mom said that the ranch isn’t the same.” His little nips and love pecks stopped as he turned me a little to look at him. “Baby, would you like to move back there?”

Move back to the ranch? No. Absolutely not. There would be a day that I would have to go back and if I was a part of Marc’s life, then I would have to go when he went home for holidays, but I just
couldn’t. I couldn’t be there. Not yet. Not missing Jackson as much as I did. A part of me wished that I had never left because it was all that I had left of Jackson, but I had to leave. When Marc had asked me to move home with him, I had my escape. I had my chance to walk away from the pain that Paul had brought onto me. “Why?”

“I was just thinking. We are so far away from
Mom and Rob and Will, Ben even. I am in a position that I can work from there and come here when I absolutely need to.”

“You love it here.”

“I do miss being there.” His eyes softened as they shifted to the lake. “I miss the freedom of the country. But Emmy, I want you to be happy. You being happy, seeing you actually smile again, hearing you laugh earlier, I want that from you. I want that all the time.”

How could I not fall in love with that? How could I not fall for a man that was willing to uproot his whole life just to make me happy? But with Paul there, I just
couldn’t. It hurt too much thinking about what he had said. How he regretted me coming into his life; that he didn’t care if I had died.

“Just think about it. Really think about it. Your life was there. If that is what makes you smile, laugh again, live again, then I will not think twice about packing up.”

“Would that be something that would make you happy?” Being fair to Marc was what I had to be. I knew that it was hard for him being away from his family. He told me in one of our heart to heart talks after Thanksgiving.

“I enjoyed being home after you left the hospital. It was being closer to my dad in a way.”

“I just don’t know if I can yet.”

“And that is fine,
Baby. Just fine. When and if you are ready, just say the word. I will be just fine anywhere you are as long as I have you in my life.” As he kissed me, I felt the love pouring from his mouth into mine. For once, I had my happiness and it was from one of the Hucks. Just not the one that I had so desperately wanted it to come from.

Chapter 24

****Present****

Paul

Sitting on the edge of my bed, my back ached and my heart was shattered into a million pieces. Not having Emmy there was my worst fear coming alive. God, how I missed her. Every time that Ben was out standing by my place, it hit harder and harder. I had never imagined that I would actually see a horse cry, but that dam animal was. I knew that he was. For those years, Emmy had said that horse was really a part of her, that he had felt everything that she had gone through in her life
. I knew what she was talking about now. I knew how he had felt. Just like me, not an ounce of life in him what so ever. Not only did I lose my dad, but Emmy also. What made it worse was the fact that Emmy was still alive, just never coming back.

I still think about that night that I had pulled her out from under that rotten porch step damn near frozen to death. There hadn’t been a day that I had forgotten about it. Had I really regretted it? Hell no. Not for one second. Did I regret not just telling her that I loved her
when I had the chance? Every damn day. Every second since I had been able to hold her in my arms last.

Picking up my cell, I rolled through the contacts
and came to Emmy’s name. My heart sank harder into the empty pit of my stomach. My life was absolutely nothing without her. It was usually at night when I would get home and I would pick up the bottle of whisky to numb the pain of the day in order to get a few hours of sleep. I had to. It was the only way that I could even go on.

Becky had been over quite a bit, but there wasn’t even anything there anymore. Usually, she would just sit and talk to me about Emmy, but it only sank in harder after she left for the evening. A few times, I had managed to call Becky just to hear her tell me that my Emmer would come back to me someday. I just needed to hang on. I had to hang on.

Just like Ben, I had lost some weight with not being able to stomach food. Often, we would just go for walks while thinking of Emmy and what our lives had been like while she was there. A part of me knew that she would never come back. Not after the pain that I had caused her.

When she had dropped my father’s necklace into my hands before she had walked out of my life, I died
inside. I died and there was no way that I would ever be able to come back from that. Not unless she were the one to save me now.

Pressing the send button, I sucked in a deep breath. My eyes burned once again as I looked at the photo that I had been carrying around in my pocket since she had come home from the hospital. I just had to tell her. I had to tell her that I didn’t mean a damn word. Maybe I should just tell her why I had to push her away. If she
had only known what it was actually about, then she would understand.

Holding the phone to my ear, my heart beat so fast that I thought it would explode. I just needed to hear her voice, to tell her how much she really mean
t to me. I just needed to tell her how much I loved her.

“The number you had dialed has been disconnected or
is no longer in service….”

The air shot out of my lungs so fast, my stomach ripped through my throat. I just stared at the phone. My whole damn world crashed down around me as I felt the pain slicing through every inch of my body. Sliding to the floor, I pulled my knees to my chest and clutched her photo tight to me. This couldn’t be happening. This
couldn’t be possible. Trying again, I had only come up with the same message.

Fumbling with the phone, I dialed Becky’s number
while feeling the excruciating pain rob what used to be my heart. When she had answered, I could hear the clicking in the background of her fingers on the keyboard. “Beck…”

“Paul? Paul, what’s wrong?” It had stopped suddenly as she let out a breath. “If you are drunk…”

“I tried to call her.”

“That’s good. That’s good,
Honey. I am sure that once you actually talk to her…”

“Her number’s been disconnected. She changed her number.” It just hurt to breathe. It hurt to even try to. It hu
rt to even want to.
God, Emmy, please.

“You know where she is, Paul. You need to talk to her. Just….” She hissed a little into the phone. “Just go and talk to her. This will never end with her, Paul. Pick yourself up and go talk to her. You love her. You do. No one can or should stop you. Just go and talk to her
, face to face. It’s better that way, anyway. Tell her, Paul.”

“Do you think that she would ever forgive me?”

I could feel her smile through the phone. As much as Becky had loved me, when Emmy’s name had come up, I could see the hurt in her. But she knew that my heart only belonged to Emmy. “Of course she will. God, Paul, she is in love with you, too. She has been. You were her whole life.”

“The ranch was her whole life.”

“No, Paul. You were. Why do you think that she had taken it so hard when we started dating? I actually can see it now. Go to Marc’s and just talk to her. Let her know.”

“What if she doesn’t?” I didn’t even want to think about it. I didn’t want to think about the pain that I had caused her.

“She will someday, Honey. She may just need some time, but she will. She loves you so much. If you get there, let her listen to what you have to say. Don’t get all mad and go off on her. Just let her know how you feel. Tell her. Then, let her come to you. She’s hurt, Paul. She’s still hurting over losing your dad. She’s hurting over what you had said. Just tell her and back off. Let her come to you. It might not be overnight, but she will come back to you.” She smiled again. “And if she doesn’t, I will be here.”

“Thanks, Becky.”

“Now go and let me know what happens.”

Hanging up, I looked at the picture again
and felt a spark hitting my chest. Maybe I did need to go and just tell her. I needed to tell her how much I thought of her, how beautiful she was to me, and how much I just needed her. My life without her was crumbling down. She was the only one that could save me. The only one that I would ever want to save me.

Digging in the nightstand drawer, I pulled that velvet box out and opened it to see the luster of that ring still in there. Her ring. The only finger that this ring ever belonged on was hers and I had to let her know that was my whole intention. It was her that made me pick it out. It was her that I had only wanted that step in life with. It was her that made me even want to think about marriage.

Shoving it into my pocket, my heart started beating again as I fled from the house. Ben lifted his head to look at me, and followed me to the main house.

“I’m going to tell her, boy. I will get her back here.” Biting my lip, I completely missed the stairs and jumped onto the porch. Pulling open the screen door, I stuck my head in
to see Mom at the stove already. “Hey, I have to run to the city. Do you need anything?”

“I don’t…”

Hell, I didn’t even give her any time. I flew to my truck with Ben following, his ears actually perking up and the excitement running through him. “You need to stay right here. I will be back with her.”

After s
liding in, the truck roared to life with the turn of the key and I was headed down the driveway. I didn’t care if I was back tonight or not. I had to tell her. I had to make her see just how much I loved her. There was no way that I was letting her walk away from me again. No way.

I couldn’t get there fast enough. I couldn’t wait. Becky was absolutely right. I needed to just tell Emmy everything. As the music played through the speakers, my heart jumped into overdrive. I could imagine what she looked like, how she had felt
on my lips when I had kissed her. Nothing had ever been so perfect in my life. Nothing had felt like having her for that split moment where everything had just hit so hard and so fast, so complete.

Parking at Marc’s, the heat pooled into my stomach as I reached into my pocket
to make sure that my life was still there. It was and it was ready to come out of that box and slide onto the most perfect finger there ever was. When I had gotten to the door, I knocked and knocked. His car was out front, but he wasn’t answering the door.

Pressing the doorbell, my heart sank a little, but I wasn’t leaving until I had talked to her. Marc could understand that. Couldn’t he? I mean, we were closer in age and when he had packed up
to leave the ranch the day that he had turned eighteen, a part of me had left also. We were not only brothers, but best friends. We stayed best friends, too.

Nothing. Not a damn answer.

Maybe they had just gone for a walk. He was taking her out for walks almost every night, but it was a little chilly for that. Mom had mentioned that she had liked to walk along the path by the lake. That was where they had to be. Nothing would be more perfect then to get down on one knee and propose to her right there. I just wouldn’t get back up until she said yes. That was it. That was how it was going to be and I didn’t care how much damn begging I had to do. I was going to make Emmer mine no matter what.

Heading down the walk, I skipped over the path and headed across the lawn. I had to catch up with them. They couldn’t be too far. I probably just missed them. Still,
she tired fast and he wouldn’t keep her out too long anyway. Just as I cleared the corner, my heart stopped suddenly.

I could feel her close. She was so close….and sitting on his lap. Her eyes were on his and his hand was dug deep into her hair as he pulled her to him. His mouth landed on hers. Just like that, the ground was pulled out from underneath my feet. My heart vacated my chest and ran away
, leaving broken pieces trailing behind. My lungs deflated so fast that my head spun as I stumbled backward. No. No, this couldn’t be happening. Emmy…God, Emmy. I lost her. I really did lose her for good. And if that wasn’t bad enough, she was in my brother’s arms. My brother.