Embrace Me At Dawn (36 page)

“
That’s right,” Shock snarled. “You promised to end me.”

Lucan wasn’t exactly certain how he would do that, but he owed Shock. On any other day, having a free invitation to kill the bastard would have been cause for throwing confetti and donning a party hat. Not today. Damn it.

“
I’ll keep my end of the bargain,” Lucan promised.

Then he couldn’t take the waiting anymore. He hopped to his feet and paced the hallway. “What’s taking so long? Mathias ripped us apart in what seemed like a matter of moments. I barely felt an inkling of Anka’s panic and fear before it was done.”

“
I expect Millie and Sabelle have to be careful. Her energy is waning, isn’t it? She’s already in pain. I don’t bloody know.”

Perhaps not, but those sounded like good guesses. “She might die trying to free you, and I’d really love to hate you for it. But she made a choice. In her place, I would have done the same.”

But Lucan didn’t know if he could live with it.

“
You think I’m fucking thrilled? When she’s well—not if, but
when
—my pissed off is going to blow like an illegal Guy Fawkes tribute right in her face,” Shock grumbled, then sighed. “Will you Call to her again?”

Anka had left Lucan once more—a clear indication that she had no intention of spending the rest of her centuries by his side. But as Shock had aptly pointed out mere hours ago, Anka needed reassurance. She needed someone to fight for her. He planned to be that man. No way was he letting her go now.

“
We’ll get there.”

Shock snorted. “Even if you have to pull her by the hair? She likes that, you know.”

The visual made him ill. “Not another damn word or I’ll lose all the Zen and ‘Kumbaya’ I’ve got going now and punch your face.”

“
I’d actually prefer that.”

Lucan couldn’t help it; he laughed. He never could have guessed when he awoke in his cold bed alone this morning that by nightfall everything would have changed. He was the mate of Anka’s heart, and he was going to hold her to that. The rest? Window dressing that didn’t matter. Whatever roadblocks they’d faced previously, he would work to put those behind them and rebuild Anka’s delicate sense of self-worth until she understood that whatever Mathias had done to her didn’t matter to him in the least.
She
mattered.

“
Good. She needs a firm, guiding hand now. I won’t give her back to a pussy. I’d fight for her tooth and nail if you weren’t strong enough to give her what she needs.”

Give her what she needs
. A phrase Mitchell Thorpe had been very fond of using. Lucan understood that his first responsibility to Anka was to ensure her emotional wellbeing. And he would. Then they would have a serious tête-à-tête about why she hadn’t returned home to him after breaking free from Mathias. Trust issues lurked there. Lucan wasn’t sure why, but he’d get to the bottom of that posthaste.

Sabelle popped her head out the door again. “Lucan?”

He sprinted for the door. “What is it?”

“
She needs energy desperately. Now.” Sabelle stepped back to admit him.

Lucan hesitated. “I can’t exchange energy with her until the bond is broken. You know that.”

“
It will be too late then. She’ll be…gone.”

“
What the fuck?” Shock cursed from behind him.

Lucan raked a hand through his hair. “How do you know I won’t be hurting her more?”

“
I don’t. But at least she will have the energy to endure.”

Right, then. Another ugly truth. Another goddamn conundrum with no simple solution.

He glanced over his shoulder. Shock looked exhausted, like he wouldn’t give a shit now if a train ran him over. Hollow cheeks, black stubble dusting his jaw, clothes rumpled, demeanor prickly. But he wasn’t budging from this vigil. In an odd way, Lucan admired the other wizard’s resolution. He didn’t trust Shock a whole lot—except when it came to Anka. Today, the git had proven that he would always do what was best for her, no matter what.

“
What do you think?” he asked Shock. “I don’t want to hurt her, but failing to intervene doesn’t sound like an option.”

Shock nodded. “When she screams, it will fuck with my mood. But you don’t have a choice. Go.”

Indeed. Lucan swallowed down his jangled nerves. Anka needed him…but he couldn’t, in good conscience, leave Shock alone now. He’d promised.

Lucan whipped out his mobile and sent a quick text to Caden.

“
Bloody hell, no!” Shock bristled. “I don’t need your little brother babysitting me.”

But the badass wizard’s time to protest was over nearly before it began. Bram was letting Caden in the front door. Ice followed him up the stairs. Together, they flanked Shock with identical mocking smiles. Clearly, they both hoped that Shock lost his mind.

“
Too bad, Denzell,” Ice quipped. “Be a good boy or you won’t get any ice cream later.”

“
Fuck off.” Shock glared at them both, then stalked off to the wingback chair against the wall again. He looked up at Lucan. “Go.”

Nodding, Lucan addressed his brother. “You know what to do. If the worst happens, wait for me.”

No way would he turn his back on his promise or shirk his responsibility. If Shock snapped, Lucan vowed he would see the grim duty through.

Shock read his thoughts, and his head popped up. A stare passed between them, an understanding. He nodded. “Thanks.”

“
I owe you.” The three hardest words for Lucan to admit aloud, but they were true. Then he ducked into the bedroom.

Millie fussed in the shadowed room, lit only by a circle of candles. The older woman hovered over Anka’s deathly pale form as she thrashed and moaned on the mangled bed, her eyes closed to the world. Sabelle gripped Anka’s hand tightly and closed her eyes, obviously trying to impart healing, soothing emotions.

“
Is it working, Belle?” Lucan asked softly.

Her apologetic glance spoke volumes. “Not really.”

“
Damn it.” He turned to Millie. “What can I do to help her?”

“
Wrap her in your embrace. Let her feel your love. She may not hear you, but tell her what’s in your heart, anything that may entice her to come back. She’s not fighting as hard as I would like. She’s letting herself…drift away.”

Panic crashed Lucan’s system. Sabelle lifted her head to chastise him. “You can’t let her feel that from you. You’ll scare her. Give her your love. Deep down, that’s what she wants.”

“
And when I’m done and I think she’s free of danger, we’ll leave you to energize her.” If Anka lived long enough. Millie didn’t say that, but he heard the caveat just the same.

Grimly, he nodded and stripped off his shirt. Sabelle glanced at him in question. Millie’s eyes widened, her expression a bit scandalized.

“
She likes skin-to-skin contact,” Lucan mumbled. “In case she can’t hear me, I want her to feel me and know that I’m here for her.”

He didn’t wait for commentary or permission, just folded himself onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Anka, gathering her against his bare chest.

Bloody hell, she was positively glacial. The slight shivering of her body sent a shaft of dread through him. He did his best to rub her arms, press his cheek to hers—anything to give her his body heat.

“
Keep her as still and warm as you can. Her dropping body temperature is forcing her to shiver and thrash to stay warm, but that’s depleting her energy faster,” Millie explained.

As he suspected. “On it. How much longer until you’re done?”

“
Somewhere between ten and thirty minutes. I’m nearly at the critical point. I’ll have to work slowly or…”

Millie didn’t finish that sentence. Lucan didn’t want her to, either.

“
Go ahead. I’ve got her.”

He sounded so damn calm. Panic wasn’t an option. But inside, he quaked all the way down to his foundation. Everything he loved in life— his family, his Doomsday Brethren mates, the sun, the first snow of the winter, great Indian food—none of it mattered without this woman in his arms. The last three months had taught him that unequivocally.

“
Anka?” he whispered in her ear. “Love?”

She stilled. Gasped. Then she burrowed deeper against him, as if seeking his heat. He wrapped his arms around her tighter.

“
It’s Lucan, love. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. Don’t you dare leave me. We’ve got too much left unsaid between us. You’ve got too much life left.”

Sabelle poked his arm. “I can sense her feelings a bit. She’s given off this huge internal sigh of relief that you’re here. Keep talking to her.”

“
She can hear me?”

“
It seems so.”

Thank you
, he mouthed to Sabelle, then turned his attention back to Anka. “You feel good in my arms. I’ve spent so many days and nights believing that I would never hold you like this again. To have you here is a miracle. Don’t leave me to suffer without you, love.”

She stirred in his arms and shifted closer. Everything about this moment choked him up. Anka’s sweet female scent filled his nose. Her familiar curves pressed to his with barely a sheet over them. He shoved it down to press their chests and abdomens together. Her heart beat against his, lethargic and faint.

“
Fight! Come back to me, love. You’ve survived too much to give up now. Just a bit more, then we will work everything out, you and I. Whatever kept us apart before, whatever you think I can’t accept or forgive, I promise you, there’s no mountain between us so high that I won’t scale it to be with you.”

Lucan heard a sniffle and glanced up to find tears streaking down Sabelle’s cheeks. “She definitely hears you now. She wants so badly to believe you.”

It was a first step. Hope brushed gentle fingers across his heart. “Anka? I’m telling you the truth, love. Whatever is preventing you from leaning on me, share it with me. We can do anything together.”

Behind him, Millie drew in a shuddering breath. “Kiss her. Then you’ll have to let her go so I can finish this.”

He zipped his stare up to the old witch. Let her go? Already? “Why can’t I hold her through the rest? She needs—”

“
You. I know that. But no, you can’t. She must exit a mate bond alone.” Millie gave him a pitying glance with sad blue eyes. “Say your good-byes, just in case, lad.”

Good-bye
?
No. Fuck no
! Lucan drew Anka in even tighter and felt his own tears scald his cheeks. “Anka, listen to me, love. Please fight for yourself. For us. I can’t lose you. It will kill me.” He clutched her as if his life depended on her. Because it did. Why the fuck couldn’t he keep her wrapped up, his arms and legs surrounding her? Why were they even risking this?

“
Stop!” He rolled to his back, splaying Anka across his chest, and glared at Millie. “Don’t finish this. She can stay Shock’s mate if it means she stays alive.”

“
You would give her to him?” Sabelle asked with her mouth hanging open.

“
I’d rather have her alive and with Shock than have to surrender her to the four elements for her nextlife.”

The pity on Millie’s face deepened. “I’m sorry, lad. I can’t stop now. If I do, she will die. Anka must have energy before Morganna’s spell wears off. She can’t take it from Shock, only you. But the mating ensures that she can’t make love with anyone except her mate.”