Elusive Love (18 page)

He frowned. “You get shit on, no matter what you do or where you go.”

“Life’s funny like that, I guess.” I shrugged again. “One day, all of this will be a distant memory. I just have to keep remembering that.”

“You’re right.” He paused. “How bad was Joey?”

“Bad. He kicked me out of our apartment and called me a bad name, not that I’d expected anything less. I haven’t talked to him since yesterday when I went home. I texted him earlier today, but he’s not in the best of moods with me.” I showed him my phone, which still had the texts from Joey on the screen.

“He’s a fucking prick.” Ethan growled. “He has no right to speak to you like that just because you got tired of his bullshit.”

“I’m not worried about it. He’ll come around once he cools down. If not, I guess I’ll file for divorce on my own. He might be able to ignore me, but he can’t ignore those papers.”

“When are you going to file?”

“If he answers me back, I plan on filing once we have everything sorted out. I mean, we don’t own that much, but there’s the whole custody thing. I want us to come to an agreement on that. If he decides to keep ignoring me, I’ll go to the courthouse at the end of the week.” I paused. “The courthouse is where I’m supposed to go, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I remember my parents going up there to file for divorce when I was younger.”

“I figured it would be since that’s where we had to go to get our marriage license.”

Ethan glanced up at the clock. “I guess I’d better head back to the shop before the guys think I’m a no-show.”

“Okay,” I said, disappointed that he was leaving me already.

He pulled me close and kissed the top of my head. “No matter what, you’ve got me, Caley. Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t,” I said as he released me.

He gave me one last smile before heading back to the shop. I sighed, hating how much I depended on him. Ethan was so young, younger than I was, and I had been dumping a hell of a lot on his shoulders.

When I turned around to walk back into the parts room, my father was standing in the doorway leading to his office, watching me. His eyes flashed to the shop door where Ethan had just disappeared through before he looked back to me.

“Did you need something?” I asked.

He walked to the counter where I was standing. “I know you’re going through a lot right now, but don’t let that cloud your judgment.”

I gave him a questioning look. “What do you mean?”

“Ethan. He seems like a good man, but that doesn’t mean he is. You’re vulnerable right now. I don’t want him to take advantage of you.”

“Ethan? Take advantage of me?” I laughed. “Dad, you couldn’t be further from the truth. He’s my friend, and he’s helping me deal with everything.”

“Just promise me that you’ll be careful with your…friend,” he said, his voice firm.

“I promise, I’ll be careful, but I assure you that you have absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to Ethan.”

“I hope not,” my father mumbled, his eyes moving to the door again. “For his sake, I sure as hell hope not.”

The rest of the week had passed by quickly, turning into a routine. I’d wake up, go to work, text Joey, receive either complete silence or rude texts back, speak with Ethan, and go home. At home, I would do my best to avoid my mother. So far, we’d managed not to get into any more fights—but just barely.

Ethan and I didn’t talk much about what was going on. He would make sure I was okay, and that was it. I knew he was giving me the space I needed. He never once mentioned my scene at his house or anything else that would add more stress to my life.

By Thursday, I’d had my fill of Joey and his explicitly rude text messages. I’d tried to call him once or twice, only to have it go straight to his voice mail. My patience had worn out faster than I’d thought possible. I’d had enough of his hate. It wasn’t my fault that we were in this situation. Maybe that was why he’d been refusing to communicate with me. He knew it, too. I knew I hadn’t been a perfect wife, but I’d tried. I’d tried so hard that I’d slowly started to destroy myself.

Friday morning, I caught my dad as he was heading off to work. He was opening his car door when I hurried outside to him.

“Dad! Hey, do you have a second?” I shouted as I tried to catch him before he left.

He paused and turned to me. “What’s wrong?”

I stopped next to him and glanced back at the house to make sure my mother wasn’t watching us. “I need to take this morning off, possibly all day.” I never missed work unless Amelia was sick.

He raised an eyebrow. “Why? What’s happened?”

“Nothing. I need to go to the courthouse though. I’ve tried talking to Joey all week, and he won’t listen. I’m going to go file for divorce on my own.”

My father seemed surprised by my decision. Usually, I let Joey and everyone else walk all over me. It was as much of a shock to him as it was to me that I was finally taking control of my life.

“That’s fine. I’ll handle the counter for you today.”

“Thanks, Dad.” I reached up and hugged him. “I’ll see you later!”

“Be careful,” he called as I walked to my car.

“Always,” I called over my shoulder.

I waited until he’d pulled down the driveway before backing my car out of my temporary parking spot in front of his. I drove through town, my stomach a bundle of nerves, as I thought about what I was about to do.

After I filed, there would be no going back. The thought exhilarated and terrified me all at once. Picturing me on my own in the cold, cruel world was a scary thing, but I was determined to do it.

I would prove Joey and everyone else wrong. I was worth something. I didn’t need anyone to help me or take care of me. For the first time in my life, I was taking control of my own destiny.

I reached the courthouse in what seemed like no time at all. I circled the block a few times before finally finding a parking spot. Once I shut my car off, I climbed out of the car and locked it. The building loomed up ahead, looking far scarier than I’d remembered. I knew it was just my mind playing tricks on me. The courthouse was the same building I’d walked into when Joey and I went to get our marriage license. It hadn’t seemed scary then. The only thing that had changed between then and now was me.

I walked up the steps of the courthouse, my hand wrapped tightly around my purse, as I fought against my nerves. When I stepped inside, there was a line that was several people long, all waiting to go through the metal detectors and into the rest of the courthouse. The line moved swiftly, and I was soon handing over my purse and emptying my pockets.

After I had been cleared, I nervously looked around the lobby. I had no idea where to go from here.

“Do you need some help, sweetheart?” a voice asked from behind me.

I turned to see one of the security guards, a dark-haired man who looked only a few years older than me. Watching me, his expression was kind. He seemed genuinely interested in helping me.

“I’m not sure where I need to go,” I said after a moment.

“What do you need to do? I can send you to the right department.”

Suddenly ashamed of the fact that I had failed at my marriage, I looked down at the ground. “I need to get paperwork…” I paused. “To file for divorce.”

“Ah, gotcha,” he said. “Been there myself.”

I looked up, surprised that he had told me, a complete stranger, something like that.

“Take that elevator over there up to the third floor. When you exit, turn left. Go through the second door on the right side of the hallway. They’ll get you taken care of.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome. And don’t look so glum, sweetheart. I’m sure life seems rough right now, but it’ll get better. It always does.”

I smiled politely before turning away and heading toward the elevator. When it opened, I stepped onto it along with three or four other people. I wrinkled my nose at the musty smell inside, glad that it would be a short trip up to the third floor. The ride up was silent. The doors slid open again, and I exited. I followed the security guard’s directions and headed to the second door on the right.

When I stepped inside, the room was empty, except for two clerks who stood on the opposite side of a counter that separated the room.

One of them, an older woman with a no-nonsense vibe, walked over to the counter. “Can I help you?” she asked.

“I need paperwork,” I said.

She raised an eyebrow. “Okay…what kind of paperwork do you need?”

“I’m not sure. I want to file for divorce, but I’m not sure what all that entails,” I admitted.

The woman frowned at me for a moment before turning away. I watched as she walked across the room to a row of filing cabinets. She opened one and flipped through it before pulling out a manila envelope. She returned to the counter and handed it to me. It felt heavier than I’d expected.

“You need to fill these out. There are also forms in there for your husband. If you’re on amicable terms with him, you can fill everything out together. If not, fill out what is required from yourself, and your lawyer will handle serving your husband with the divorce papers.”

“A lawyer?” I asked, my stomach sinking.

I couldn’t afford a lawyer. Joey wouldn’t be able to either unless he had money stashed away that I didn’t know about. I doubted that though. He’d never been one to save money.

I could practically see the mental eye roll the clerk gave me.

“Yes, a lawyer. If you’re not on amicable terms with your husband, you will each need a lawyer to settle your assets and custody terms for your children, if you have them.”

“Oh, okay,” I said, feeling stupid.

“Is there anything else I can help you with?” she asked, her tone making it clear that she didn’t want to.

“No, that’s it. Thank you.”

I left the office, clutching the divorce papers to my chest. My mind was racing, trying to process the fact that I was too broke to properly file for divorce. If Joey fought me over anything, anything at all, I would be screwed. I would either be trapped in this marriage with him, or I would go into debt from trying to break free.

I had a sick feeling in my stomach by the time I made it to my car. I climbed in and locked the doors before opening the envelope and pulling out the paperwork inside. My eyes widened as I looked through what seemed like an endless amount of forms. There was another set meant for Joey as well.

I read through each one, unable to believe it was this hard to file for divorce. When Joey and I had decided to get married, all we’d had to do was go to the courthouse and pay our fee to get a license.

Handling all of this would be hard enough if Joey were with me on it, but if he wasn’t, things were going to get brutal and fast.

“I’ve got to talk to him,” I said aloud, “and make him see reason.”

He’d ignored my calls and texts, so I didn’t bother trying to do either again. I knew the only way he would talk to me was if we were face-to-face. That would bring on additional complications, but I knew it was the only thing I could do.

I still had my keys to the apartment. He knew I hadn’t been back there since I’d asked for the divorce. I was ninety-nine percent sure that he was still staying there.

A plan formed in my mind. He would be home tomorrow morning. If I waited until he was there and showed up, unannounced, I could hopefully catch him. I knew I would be able to get in whether he wanted me to or not. I was sure our meeting wouldn’t go well, but I had to make him see that this would be the best thing for both of us.

He had to understand. He just had to.