Elemental (21 page)

Now that we were safe—at least as safe as we
could be—the shocked and unthinking side of my mind decided to take
a break. As a result, I was allowed to realize the enormity—and
horror—of what was happening outside. Again, like a nightmare that
wouldn’t let me wake up, death and destruction nipped at my heels.
And not just
my
heels. No, because that wasn’t enough for
them; everyone around me had to suffer, too… again. I couldn’t even
imagine how many people were suffering now. I’d seen the fighters
weaving in and out of formation in the sky, hitting targets below
them. I’d felt the shaking ground after each explosion. Co’ladesh
was under attack because the Mamood had come for
me
.

We passed an arch in the otherwise seamless
hallway. I was the last to step through and when I did, Ranen
fingered a keypad on the wall. A thick, metal door slid down from
the ceiling with a resounding thud. We passed a few of these before
we finally stopped in front of a door that was closed already.
Ranen froze with his hand half-raised. We all looked at him,
waiting.

Finally, Malik said, “Ranen, what’s
wrong?”

Ranen shook his head, and then waved his
hand in front of a glowing blue screen. The door slid open,
revealing a room stocked with folded cots resting against the back
wall, a table with four chairs, and piles and piles of fastened
trunks. “The palace is destroyed,” he said.

Meir shoved past him with Cailen, but I
stayed by Ranen’s side. “How do you know?”

He ignored me and crossed the length of the
small room to another door. I glanced quizzically at Malik, who
only shrugged before he went over to Meir to help him with a cot.
Ranen was a strange man and I didn’t need to waste my time worrying
about all his quirky tendencies.

When the old Ladeshian returned with cans of
food, I glanced into the room he’d gone into and caught sight of
walls and shelves filled with food, clothes, blankets, and other
necessities. Well, at least he knew how to prepare.

When Malik finished setting up the cot
against the wall, Meir laid Cailen down. He pressed his hand
against his lower back and stretched, and his spine cracked and
popped.

I set up my own cot and slid onto the hard
but strangely squishy fabric. How that worked, I still have no
idea.

Something crashed to the floor, making me
jump. A long stream of curses poured out of Ranen’s mouth from the
storeroom. I looked to Meir—maybe he knew what’d happened—but he
just shrugged.

“Get out of here!” Ranen yelled. A tubby
orange-and-white cat flew through the air past the storeroom door
and landed lightly on its feet.

Suddenly, I didn’t feel so safe. If some
animal had found a way into Ranen’s seemingly impenetrable
underground bunker, what would stop Fire or the Mamood
soldiers?

Meir laughed. “Still haven’t gotten rid of
this thing, huh?”

Ranen came out with a shallow bowl and set
it on the floor. “There. Eat that. But leave our food alone!” He
looked up at Meir with a worn expression. “I brought him down here
a few weeks ago after he ripped a hole in my favorite chair. I
guess I didn’t think he would be so resourceful in finding my
food.”

Intrigued, I got up from my cot and went to
sit by the cat, who was now happily devouring the hard little
kibbles in his dish. I stroked his long fur and his throat started
to rumble.

“What’s his name?” I murmured.

“Fluffy Nuts.”

Malik started coughing. “What?” he choked
out between gasps.

“Fluffy Nuts.” By Ranen’s tone, I guessed he
was just as confused about Malik’s reaction as I was. “I named him
that because of a condition he had as a kitten: elephantiasis of
the testes.” He tsked.

Malik was outright laughing by that point.
Even Meir chuckled under his breath. I didn’t get the joke. Though,
I usually didn’t get half of what Ranen was saying. Maybe if I did,
I’d be laughing, too.

I shrugged it off, trying to ignore the fact
that Malik was now practically rolling on the ground and choking on
his guffaws, and continued to stroke the cat. I was amazed and
delighted at how the simple gesture of running my hand down his
soft back over and over again could calm my troubled mind. Fluffy
seemed to enjoy it, too. Perhaps it was what I needed—a break from
reality to enjoy one simple act of kindness for another living
being.

I knew it couldn’t last forever, though. One
truth nagged at me from the back of my mind, threatening to
overwhelm me: the Mamood knew where I was, and had come for me.

Chapter
Seventeen
:

Message

I was sitting by Cailen’s side… again. He
still hadn’t woken, although an entire day had passed since he’d
been attacked in the library. Though my heavy lids drooped and I
had trouble remembering to open them with each blink, I refused to
leave his side. He needed me. I didn’t know how I knew, but there
was something inside me, convincing me I needed to be by him.
Perhaps it was the pull that had been steadily building since he’d
showed up.

Fluffy sat on my lap with his neck stretched
out across my leg. My skin tingled with each steady rumble from his
throat. I sighed. If only my life were as simple as this cat’s. But
it wasn’t, and no amount of wishing or moping was going to make it
happen.

I was probably going to die, and a lot of
people were going to die with me. Self-sacrifice no longer seemed
like a viable option. I had a vague notion Manoo wouldn’t just send
his soldiers home if I turned myself in. No, giving Manoo exactly
what he wanted—my body on a marble slab—wouldn’t save anyone.

Fighting Manoo, though, didn’t sound like a
viable option, either. There was no way I could win. Ranen had
thought I
might
have a chance if I’d had years to prepare,
but I didn’t have years. I had days, if I was lucky—days to become
stronger than Fire.

Impossible.

Meir’s hand clamped down on my shoulder, a
strong but gentle touch, already so familiar. I wondered what my
future—my destiny—meant for him. He’d been so distant lately. Did I
sicken him? Did he hate me?

As I stared up into his black eyes, I was
sure his affection remained. But how could it? I was a freak—a
freak whose only purpose in life was to kill and destroy. How could
my savior—the preserver of life—ever find something to love in me
again?

He smiled at me, and I smiled back.
Everything clicked into place then. Love didn’t make sense; it
didn’t need to. Love just was. He hadn’t chosen me any more than
I’d chosen him, but we were together and completely inseparable. I
could be the worst person in the galaxy; Meir was already trapped.
It made me sad. He deserved better.

I would
be
better.

Meir grabbed a chair from the table and
pulled it up to Cailen’s cot. He didn’t say anything as he sat
down, but I could tell he wanted to. There was some underlying
tension he was trying to hide from me. I decided to give him a
minute to organize his thoughts.

Fluffy was looking at me, wondering why I’d
stopped petting him no doubt, so I scratched him behind the ears
and pretended I couldn’t feel the stress pouring out of Meir in
waves.

Minutes passed in silence and I grew
worried. Meir stiffened more and more, his limbs pulling tight.
Anguish rippled across his face when he finally turned to me.
Instinctively, I brushed my fingertips against his prickly
cheek.

“I’m sorry for bringing you here,” he
whispered. “I never—”

“Shh…” I leaned my head against his
shoulder. “Meir…” I paused, looking for the right words. “You saved
me.”

His jaw tightened. “I saved you from
nothing.” Meir pulled away from me, leaving my head to slide down
to my chest.

“Don’t say that.”

He shook his head. “I never should have
brought you here.”

“You couldn’t have stopped what’s
happening.” I brought my hands down and stared at the lazy animal
sprawled across my lap. “It started before we ever left Talia.” At
that moment, more clues I had missed fell into place. Obvious
clues. Manoo naming me Shadra had been the catalyst. I’d had the
dream just after overhearing the guards… my open cell door… the
hole at the bottom of the ship… finding myself on solid ground
rather than in lifeless space… the hands, the voice. Things had
been set into motion that I couldn’t stop. El had set things in
motion.

El had set things in motion.

Of course! I was His tool, nothing more. And
now He needed me. “It started before I left
Sho’ful
,” I
whispered.

Why, though? Why had I been on
Sho’ful
in the first place? How could El have allowed that
to happen? If not for my imprisonment, I could’ve been trained,
prepared. Now I was practically useless. I was stronger than
no
one
, let alone Manoo. And more than that, I was out of
control.

Meir brushed his thumb against my cheek and
pulled it away again. My skin was cold and moist where he touched
me—a tear. I looked up at him then and he had tears welling around
his red-rimmed eyes, too.

“What can I do?” he said.

I half-smiled. “Just be here for me.” There
was no longer any chance of stopping the path of destruction, and
my heart sank as I realized there never had been.

“I can do that.” And he grinned that huge
grin I loved so much—the one that creased his face in wrinkles.

I chuckled once, but then turned serious
again. I was worried about him and I could see the tension around
his eyes. “How are you doing… you know… with all of this?”

Meir’s face smoothed as he grasped my
question. “It’s a little odd, I’ll admit.” He stroked his beard.
“Imagine how you would feel if all your fairytales came to
life.”

Fairytales?

He must’ve read the confusion on my face.
“Auri shouldn’t actually exist. At least, that’s what I’d always
thought. I read about them in children’s stories, but never did I
imagine they were real.” He sighed. “It’s a little… troubling.”

I nodded. Very troubling.

Cailen’s cocoon moved. I froze. Blue and
green waves rippled across his body as his wings curled away from
him and flopped to the floor. His eyes were still shut. In my haste
to lean over him and make sure he was all right, I nearly dropped
Fluffy. The quick and nimble cat instead jumped onto Cailen’s
chest. He grunted under the sudden weight.

As I hovered over him, checking him to see
if his burns were gone, it became immediately apparent that very
little was left of his clothes. His shirt hung off of him in burnt
shreds and his pants… were nearly just as bad. I blushed and turned
away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a
subtle movement from Cailen’s bed. His hand reached out to grab
mine. Warmth shot through me like spiked adrenaline. My numb legs
nearly gave out under me.

Careful to avoid any eye contact with
anything below his waist, I faced him. He smiled up at me. I cupped
his face in my free hand and kneeled by his side—Meir stood close
behind me. Fluffy was kneading Cailen’s chest with his big paws and
burrowing his head against his neck.

“What is that?” Cailen’s eyes strained to
see what was snuggling with him.

I laughed. It felt so good to do. “It’s
Ranen’s cat, Fluffy Nuts.”

He coughed, just like Malik had done.
“What?”

Malik was laughing again. I shook my
head—boys were too hard to understand.

“Always making fun of my cat!” Ranen clearly
couldn’t find the joke, either. Maybe it was just Cailen and Malik
who were weird. “He could barely walk!” He scooped up his cat and
dropped a coarse, green blanket over Cailen’s hips. I was
exceedingly grateful.

Cailen unfolded the blanket and draped it
over his nearly naked body. He sat up and looked around. “Where are
we?” His voice was rough and I nudged Meir, pointing to the
pantry.

I shrugged. “Ranen is apparently prepared
for everything. He’s got an underground bunker that looks like it
could survive the end of the galaxy, though it can’t seem to keep
out a pesky little cat.”

Cailen smirked. It was beautiful. My heart
warmed and swelled beneath my chest, tickling my stomach.

Meir came back and offered Cailen a clear
glass of water, which was received most graciously and consumed in
a matter of seconds.

I glanced at Meir. I’d detected wariness
from him the day before at breakfast and I wondered if it was still
there. To my surprise, Ranen and Malik also hovered over us. Ranen
was just as jumpy as ever, bumping into the cot with his hands
fluttering in front of him, looking for something to do. Malik, on
the other hand, stood off to the side with his arms crossed in
front of him. He was looking at me. I pursed my lips and turned
away.

“Would you like some food?” Ranen took the
empty glass. “I’m sure you’re famished.”

Cailen stiffened, but then shrugged. I was
sure he wasn’t used to being taken care of. From what he’d told me
of his training, it sounded like he’d dealt with a lot worse before
and hadn’t had an entourage of friends to pamper him afterward.

Ranen limped off anyway—to make him a
sandwich, I guessed. I shook my head and laughed. The man was
probably having the time of his life. The way he stared at Cailen
was almost creepy. I had to remind myself Cailen was probably the
first Auri anyone had seen in thousands of years. Wait, that wasn’t
right.
I
was the first Auri anyone had seen. Boy, that was
going to take a while to get used to. Me, an Auri. What Meir had
said only added to the creep factor. I guess after a few thousand
years of no contact, a civilization of winged people was bound to
fall into myth.