Elemental (18 page)

“We’ve got all night and I’m not even close
to being tired.”

Cailen chuckled. “You know, you haven’t
changed a bit. You were always so curious when you were little,
too.”

“Really?” I crinkled my nose. The idea that
Cailen had any memories of me from so many years ago was strange,
and sweet. I liked that there was someone out there who actually
knew me—the me before the Mamood.

He sighed and leaned back on his elbows.
“Exactly the same.” He smiled. “You even wrinkled your nose like
that whenever I said something you particularly liked.”

“You’re changing the subject. We’re supposed
to be talking about you.” I bit the inside of my cheek to rein in
the giggles that threatened to burst past my lips.

“Ah, that’s right. Well, after you were—”
his eyes darkened “—taken… my father enrolled me into the training
academy in Freor. I begged him to, actually. It’s an elite facility
located in the eastern Firestarter territories. Those who actually
manage to live through the training have every door open to them,
every top post at their disposal.” He shrugged. “I was the right
age—eleven—so he made some contacts and I was tested. The tests
were grueling—meant to find the best out of those who only
thought
they were good enough—and I passed. My mother was
furious for obvious reasons.”

I bit my lip and cocked my head. Cailen saw
my look of confusion and clarified. “Very few people actually live
through the training. Out of my graduating class, for example, over
two hundred started with me and only four were left eight years
later.”

“That’s awful!” I felt my face turn down in
horror. “Why would they even have such a place?”

“It’s a part of who we are, Ella. The
Firestarters, especially. They’re obsessed with the art of war, and
always have been.” He smirked. “The fainthearted do
not
try
to get into this particular academy. There are other military
academies whose failures simply go home as such. At the one I went
to, they die.” His face turned smug as he continued, “I was the
first Windbringer in over a century to graduate.”

I choked back the bile building up in my
throat. “It just seems so wrong.”

“The ones who sign up know what they’re
doing. They know they probably won’t live.”

“They’re children, Cailen!” My hands shook
at my side. “How can they know?”

His green eyes went flat. “I knew.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but
nothing came out.

“Anyway, after eight years of intense
training in deserts—the hot
and
the cold kind—at the edges
of volcanoes, in places so remote and deadly that half the class
died in them alone, I graduated and took over command of the
battleship,
Aurora
. That was two years ago, and I’ve been
looking for you ever since.”

I really looked at Cailen for the first time
then. Though I knew time had passed, it was hard to differentiate
the man from the boy I remembered. Yet, as he told me his story, I
became increasingly aware of his sheer physical size. He wore a
sleeveless shirt that stretched tight against the broad planes of
his chest. The curves of his muscles wrapped around his limbs in
perfect proportion to his height. There was something different
about him, though, that I hadn’t noticed before. I couldn’t figure
out what it was, and it nagged at me.

I tore my eyes away from his chest… his
arms. “Why you? Surely there was someone looking for me before you,
so why did you take over?”

Cailen leaned back all the way and put his
hands behind his head. “That one’s not so easy to answer.”

I waited with my knees curled up against my
chest. After several minutes, it was clear he wasn’t sharing any
more than that. I decided now was the right time to ask my most
pertinent question. I bit my lip and leaned forward so he was
forced to look at me. “Why are you here? And why are you acting so
careful, like you’re afraid? What is it you’re not telling me,
Cailen?”

He stared at me for an immeasurable moment,
motionless.

“You’ve got another bombshell for me, don’t
you?” I whispered. The truth of it slapped me in the face. He
didn’t even have to answer me, I already knew.

Cailen nodded.

“But you’re not going to tell me.” It wasn’t
a question. It was clear on his face the time for answers was
over.

He shook his head.

I fumed and stormed off to the other side of
the room. I needed space between us, and the huge bed acting as a
barrier helped me to keep my head. I hated the secrets, the lies.
He had said no more bombshells and here was another one not an hour
later, one he was determined to keep from me.

Malik was passed out on the bed—my bed—still
snoring softly, and completely oblivious to my mini-tantrum. For
some reason, that made me even angrier. It was totally childish and
ridiculous, but I didn’t care. I stomped my foot on the floor and
slumped to the ground, trying to make as much noise as possible.
His heavy breathing didn’t even stutter.

I took in a few deep breaths, trying to calm
myself. There was no reason for me to be as angry as I was. No
reason except that Cailen was keeping secrets from me. No reason
except that I couldn’t be alone in
my
room, lie down on
my
bed…

So it was totally ridiculous for me to
behave in such a manner, fuming like a two-year-old. That little
fact didn’t stop me from doing it.

I twisted my body around to lie on my
stomach with my chin resting in my hands. My two irritants were
behind me. Neither one was easy to ignore. The electricity humming
between Cailen and me didn’t lessen with this little distance and
Malik’s raspy breathing grated against my ears. So I started
humming to myself. It was a meaningless little tune that I composed
on a whim, but it helped.

Eventually, I was able to look past my
irritation. Cailen was being careful and secretive, distant, but
maybe he was doing it for my sake. I couldn’t imagine why or how he
could think that attitude would help me, but I tried to understand.
Thinking his feelings were indifferent, or even malevolent, wasn’t
helpful; I refused to travel down that line of thought. And if he
was doing it for my sake, what secret was he keeping that would be
so awful? Weren’t the other ones bad enough to make anything pale
in comparison?

I shook my head. This was something big, and
it involved Cailen directly. He’d been willing, if not eager, to
answer my questions until I asked him why
he
was the one
searching for me, and what he was keeping from me. As soon as that
question was out, he’d shut up.

I growled, and then took a deep breath.

I knew what I had to do. There was one key
detail missing that would connect everything together. I was sure
of it. Cailen had all the knowledge, so I would have to be sneaky
and pry it out of him. The last thing I needed was for Cailen to
close up on me again. Begging him to tell me would never work. I’d
already gotten a firsthand glimpse into how stubborn he could be.
This was a secret he would never willingly tell me.

Chapter
Fourteen
:

Decision Time

A salty and absolutely mouthwatering aroma
drifted down the hall toward me as I found my way to the kitchen
the next morning with Cailen trudging behind me. He wasn’t overly
excited about spending the morning with Meir, Ranen, and Malik. In
fact, his balled fists and clenched jaw were enough to set me on
edge right along with him. Though I’d apparently given my
permission the night before for him to break the Auri law of no
contact with other peoples, he’d explained that years of holding
that law sacred made him feel like a traitor for breaking it now. I
had tried to reassure him that everything would be fine and that,
in fact,
I
had been the first one to break it, but he waved
that off as something I couldn’t have helped.

It was rather comforting to know that some
of his edginess and distance the night before could be attributed
to his unease around Malik. Still, I knew that wasn’t the only
explanation and I intended to stay by his side to find out the
truth.

I pushed open the kitchen door and dropped
my gaze to the floor with a hint of a smile on my lips. Red-hot
embarrassment flooded my cheeks as I realized that standing right
behind me was a guy—a very cute guy. Meir was staring at me and by
his eager and slightly possessive expression, I could tell Malik
had already informed him of our newest guest.

Cailen stepped even closer behind me—I could
feel his hot skin against my bare arms—waiting to enter. Ranen was
wide-eyed and practically jumping where he sat. Clearly the man had
issues. I shuffled forward, my eyes still on the stone floor, and
took an empty seat next to Meir at the round, wooden table.

Ranen started shoveling some type of yellow,
lumpy food onto a plate. “You look like you could use plenty of
this.” He chuckled.

“Thanks.” I grabbed a fork to pick at my
food. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. Sure, I was
hungry, famished even, but I’d learned my lesson. I needed to pace
myself.

He laid three strips of cooked meat—the
source of the absolutely delicious scent that had led me to the
kitchen in the first place—on my plate with some slices of bread. I
grabbed one of the strips and nibbled. It sent my taste buds
dancing, and I forgot about pacing myself.

Cailen sat between me and Malik and started
loading up his own plate. His back was ramrod straight and his
movements stiff.

Meir was still staring at me. I turned to
him and smiled, hoping that would be enough to calm his anxiety. He
gave me a hesitant smile in return. His eyes flicked from me to
Cailen, and I could see the questions hiding under the surface of
his erratic gaze.

I decided I needed to open up that line of
conversation. There was no point in delaying the inevitable. I
swallowed the food in my mouth, cringing as it scraped against my
throat. “Meir, Ranen, this is Cailen. He’s… uh…” I looked to Cailen
for help. Was I allowed to call him an Auri in front of them? What
was I supposed to say?

He smiled at me, and then extended his arm
out to the two older men. “I’m an old friend of Ella’s. And…” he
continued slowly, with reservations, “I guess the head of the
search party.”

Ranen nodded. He pumped Cailen’s hand with
much more enthusiasm than was necessary and was slow to let go.
Cailen tried to be subtle in his attempt to remove his hand from
the crazy little man’s grasp, but eventually he just had to yank it
away.

Meir was… apprehensive. He accepted Cailen’s
offered hand, but dropped it again after one quick shake. “An old
friend?” He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head.

I didn’t think it was possible, but Cailen’s
body stiffened even more. He leaned away from me and set his fork
down. I added this reaction to my list. I didn’t think it was the
detail I was looking for, but it was possibly related.

“Friend of the family, actually.” Cailen’s
voice was rough and offered no opening for further explanation.

I cleared my throat. “He… uh… actually
wanted to talk to you, Ranen.” I peeked at Meir out of the corner
of my eye. He angled his body toward me with one arm on the table
and the other on his knee. I stuffed more food into my mouth and
looked away.

Ranen’s eyes brightened. “Of course, of
course! I would be honored!”

Cailen gave a sharp nod. “Not here.
Somewhere private.”

I whipped my head around and glared at him.
If he thought he was going to talk about me behind my back, he had
another think coming.

He gave a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry,
Ella. I want you there, too, but,” he looked from Malik to Meir,
“I’d rather we didn’t have an audience.”

Malik chuckled, but Meir fumed. I sank down
into my seat in some misguided attempt to escape my savior’s heated
glare. Though he was already a major part of my life, there were
some things I preferred he stayed oblivious about. I guessed that
whatever Cailen wanted to talk to Ranen about was one of those
things. So, I didn’t speak on Meir’s behalf. I knew he wanted me
to, but I couldn’t. Eventually, his gaze cooled and he turned back
to his half-empty plate of food. I’d need to talk to him privately
at some point.

I started nibbling at my food again while
everyone else wolfed theirs down. The room was almost oppressively
quiet. As the minutes passed, the tension grew like a living thing
around me. I stuffed one more bite of the lumpy, yellow food in my
mouth and stood.

My wordless request to get the conversation
started seemed to work. Cailen and Ranen stood up with me and I
followed behind as Ranen lead us through the front foyer. He walked
past the doorway to the large parlor we’d been in yesterday and
opened the door to a paneled library with shelf after shelf of
books behind glass casings. It was shocking how clean this room
was. I’d come to expect the dusty mayhem present in every other
inch of the enormous estate. Not a speck of dust dotted the
furniture, though bright light poured in through the windows. Every
book sat in its place, every piece of furniture pristine. A set of
finely upholstered blue velvet sofas sat in perfect placement
before a fireplace in the shape of a large cat’s maw. Wisps of
smoke curled up from the burnt and dying embers. A hint of the
morning chill caused moisture to bead against the windows, still
waiting for Soltak’s sun to burn the cold away.