Edge of the Falls (After the Fall) (16 page)

I turn to him, fisting my hands in his wet hair, huddling against his chest. "They don't know, Arjun.
She
doesn't know what happened to me," I whisper. It hurts, that she is grieving for me. I don't want this—I never intended to hurt them. "How can I be here, happy, when my family is so miserable?" I demand.

He goes still, the hand stroking my hair cradling my neck. I can feel his eyes on me, so intense I look down. "You’re happy here?" he says, disbelief coloring his voice.

I realize what I said, and pull away. It's too late now to take the words back. And I don’t want to.

“Of course I am. I’m with you," I answer him, my voice trembling a little.

He makes a noise, and it breaks my heart. I push his hair back, let my fingers trail over his face--the broad forehead that furrows when he is thinking too hard, or upset--the expressive eyebrows that frame the large golden eyes that are an ever-changing window to his soul. His eyelids flutter against my fingertips, and I stroke them as they slowly close, learning the long curve of his white eyelashes. Without thinking, I lean forward, kiss his closed eyes. He whimpers and I smile.

His hands are on me, claws pricking my hips. I want to scoot closer to him, but he is holding us deliberately apart. Ignoring that, I continue my exploration. Strong, defined cheekbones trail down to his jaw. I can't help but press another kiss there and feel his lips brush my forehead. It sends tingles of excitement racing through me.

He breathes a laugh as I trace his lips, learning the slightly misshapen mouth. I wonder, distantly, when I stopped noticing the difference it made in his face. He nips gently at my thumb. I laugh, and finally, finally, follow the long, broken curve of his nose.

"How did you break it?"

His voice is uneven, husky, sending tremors through me. "Merc and I got into a fight when I first came to the pack. He liked my sister too much."

"He's harmless," I say, and lean forward to drop a kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Can we please not talk about Merc and my sister?" he chokes out.

I laugh, lean forward, and kiss him. It is a soft kiss, barely there. It hardly qualifies as a kiss--as light as the brush of moth wings. He stays passive, and I press a little harder. Again, I trace his lips, exploring them with my tongue, and he finally moves. The pressure on my hips increases a fraction, his grip firmer, but he doesn't pull me any closer as he takes control of the kiss. His lips slant over mine, and it’s my turn to whimper, my hands going up and around his neck. My mouth opens on a sigh, and he takes full advantage, his tongue darting inside to slide along mine.

Fire fills my belly. So badly, I want him to pull me closer. His lips are devouring me, and it's not nearly enough. I want to feel him, all of him pushing against me, holding me. Instead, he pulls away, whispers my name against my ear. I shiver as he nibbles at it, and tug at his neck, demanding another kiss. He laughs silently as he returns to my lips, but the kiss is not as strong. It's gentle, sweet. I want to weep at the sweetness of it.

"Arjun," I murmur, my eyes closed. My body is humming with pleasure and I feel more treasured than I ever have before.

"You
did
miss me," he whispers against my lips. I laugh, and he nips at my throat, a gentle love bite. "Admit it," he says, his voice a sexy growl that tugs at me.

"I did," I agree, and he rewards me with another kiss, fierce and demanding.

His kiss is gentle though, and I cannot wiggle closer to him. He laughs again, a breath puffing against my lips. I shiver, and a moan slips from me. “I have something to tell you, if you want to listen,” he says, a smile in his voice that irritates as much as it enflames me. I force myself to sit back, and he slides deeper in the water, giving me space. I can almost feel his amusement in the air.

When I can think past the drugging quality of his kiss, I look at where he is floating in the water. “What is it?” I ask, my voice cool.

“Jade thinks you’re well enough to go outside,” he says, ignoring my distance. I gasp, jerking upright in the water. A ripple splashes against him and he sputters a little. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I demand.

He is silent, and I flush, remembering the way I strained against him, begging for his kiss.

“Can we go now?” I ask, ignoring my behavior.

“No,” he says, and there is a moment of disappointment. “She wants you to go in the morning—when she can monitor it. You’re better, but not well, not yet,” he says, gentle.

I bite back the frustration I feel, and nod. “That’s fine.”

He is suddenly close again, and his lips whisper along my neck, tickling and warm and teasing. “I’m sorry, pet.”

My voice is breathless. “It’s not your fault.”

He laughs, and splashes water at me, playfully. “Come on, get out—we’ll get food.”

I hesitate for a moment, but let him help me out of the pool. The cool air of the cave prickles against my warm skin, and I shiver. Arjun hands me my homespun dress, kisses my cheek. “I’ll be outside, when you’re ready,” he murmurs. I nod, and he slips away.

I sit up when I hear footsteps, light and sure, in the tunnel. It feels like the night has lasted forever. The promise of freedom from the caves, the kiss of the wind, kept me awake, impatient.

Gali makes a clucking noise at me when she sees me, grinning in the dim light. Ignoring it, I ask eagerly, "Is it time?"

"No. You need to dress first," she teases, handing me the folded clothing she carries.

A soft cotton weave shirt that is a bit loose and matching pants that are a bit tight--Gali giggles as I smooth my hands down the faded green fabric, and I look at her, curious. "Arjun is going to love those pants on you," she says, laughing.

I flush, but shrug. "A girl works with what she has."

Gali's eyes linger on my backside for a moment, and she snorts, "You have enough, sweetheart."

We leave the cave, and she leads me down a narrow tunnel away from the sulfur pool. We walk in the guttering light of her torch for a while before I realize the air has changed--it is slowly losing its musky wet cave scent. I can smell trees, the fresh scent of pine and ash and willow and poison plant and oak. The taste of open air. My pace quickens, and Gali glances at me from the corner of her eye. "You've missed this, haven't you?" she says quietly.

I laugh self-consciously. "Does it show?”

She flashes a smile. "I've seen that hungry look on your face before--but only when you thought no one was watching you watch my brother."

I glance at her, startled, and she grins, a tiny secretive smile.

Arjun is waiting, impatiently, with Merc and a tiny gray ban-wolf. His eyes sweep me, possessive and worried. I smile at him as the gray wolf totters over to me.

She is perhaps the least graceful of the ban-wolves I've met. As she approaches, I realize I’ve seen her before. She nursed me back to health when I first arrived. I open my mouth and she waves a hand, silencing me.

"I want you to go slow. We're only going to the big pine, and we'll sit there a while. Merc and Gali need to check something in the forest, anyway, and it'll give you a chance to get some air," she says in her shaking voice. I nod.

Arjun is still watching me, but hasn't come any closer. I shiver, and his golden eyes darken. The others have gone a little ahead, a shrewd look from Jade granting us space.

"Come here," I say, my voice low.

Desire flashes across his face, filling his eyes for a split second, and then it is gone. He is remote as he walks over to me. I reach for him, slip my hand in his, and squeeze. "I missed you."

He squeezes my hand.

It is natural, to walk with him like this, the last few steps before we leave the cave. And then I am in the open air, and my head tilts back. It is darker here than it would be in the open. And the world is on a tilt--we are on a mountain side. But there is a breeze--faint, broken by the trees, but there--that teases my hair and brushes my skin. I can hear wild things creeping around us, the stir of underbrush as some small animal darts away from the predators that are now in the forest. Far away, a ban-wolf screams. Above us, an answering scream rends the air--my eyes open, searching, and I pick out the dark shape of a black ban-wolf perched high in the trees, barely visible in the graylight.

"What is he doing?" I ask, not looking away.

"Someone has to watch the mouth of the cave. If we don't have a sentry, we'll be vulnerable to anyone or anything that wants to attack us--or use our cave. The sentry is a last line of defense," Arjun says.

Ahead of us, Jade has turned, and her green eyes seem especially bright as she snaps, "Hurry up, girl. This is supposed to help your healing. Move."

I grimace, but do as she orders. Arjun lets me set our pace, holding my hand as I pick a path down the mountain, avoiding plants I know to be poisonous. A trio of birds in the trees sings at us, curious.

I can breathe here. Despite the darkness, and the plethora of deadly plants, it is a relief to take a deep breath, and taste the wild. The caves have been suffocating—even without meaning to be. I’m used to space, used to being in open air. The confines of the cave have become less stressful and scary as I accustom myself to it, but being in the open air is like a weight being taken off me. I am so happy I am almost giddy as I half skip my way to the large pine where Jade, Gali and Merc are waiting. Merc's watching us with his lazy smile, his sky-dark eyes amused as he watches my slow progress and I can't help but grin at him.

"Focus, child," Jade chides, but there is a smile on her face when I look at her.

I'm exhausted, sweat dripping off me when I finally collapse under the tree. Jade brushes off the attention of Gali and Merc with a muttered, "Go, be useful. Find my herbs."

I am surprised that they both accede to the old ban-wolf's request without argument. But I am learning that in the pack’s unusual hierarchy, Jade's word carries a great deal of weight.

She shoves up my shirt without a word, her long claws probing my wounds. The skin has lost its shiny infected look, turning a healthy, healing pink. She makes a grunting noise, and grants me a smile. "You’re doing much better than I thought you would. Those stitches can come out tomorrow maybe—but you'll need to use the ointment I make you, just to make sure the blood-poison doesn't come back."

I nod, and ask, "How long do you think until I can go back?"

The words are out before I can think about them, and instantly, I want to take them back. Arjun drops my hand and pulls away from me. Despite the warmth of him at my side, he feels a thousand miles away. Even Jade seems thrown, her gaze darting between us cautiously.

“I don’t know,” she says at last.

“I don’t
want
to go back,” I say, and even though I am looking at Jade, I am talking to Arjun. “But I don’t think Rook will let me stay—and they are my family. They deserve to know what happened to me.”

“He doesn’t deserve anything from you,” Arjun snaps, stalking away. “He
lied
to you.”

I look down at my hands, my heart suddenly pounding. “Do you want me to stay?” I demand, arching an eyebrow.

He does not respond, and the silence makes my heart ache. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe the kiss means nothing. Tears sting my eyes.

“What I want doesn’t matter—it’ll depend on Rook. Everything does,” he says, his face blank.

“Rook wants the cure the Mistress may have. And that will require me going to the Manor,” I say, coldly.

“But you
want
to go back,” he accuses.

It makes me angry. I look at him—he’s stiff, his eyes cold and blank, distant and dangerous. “This is my choice—even if I stay with you and the pack, I
will
return to the Manor. Those children did nothing wrong. They love me, and I left them. I will not be another person to leave with no answers, not for them. I
won’t.”

I can’t wait for his response, not with tears burning in my eyes, and my emotions crumbling. I stand and stumble my way toward the mouth of the cave.

“Sabah,” he calls, his voice still angry, “don’t.”

Jade growls, “Just shut up, boy. You’ve done enough for the moment.”

I would laugh. At any other time, it would amuse me—but not now.

A dark brown shape drops from the trees, and I stifle a scream. As he straightens, my speeding pulse settles. Rook.

“I can’t do this right now,” I mutter to no one, looking away from the pack leader. Jade takes my arm in her tight grip, her support surprisingly steady.

“How long before she can safely travel?” Rook asks, looking at Jade.

She cocks her head. “If she uses the ointment, and soaks in the pool—a week.”

A week.

“How long have I been here?” I demand.

Rook flicks a glance at me, dismissive. “Three weeks.”

I gasp, and they all look at me. I feel dizzy, weak
. Three weeks.
They will have given up on me. They will think I am dead. The
children.
Pain slams into me. A sob breaks free, and I turn away from the angry, assessing eyes.

I can’t escape Rook. His hand catches my shoulder, restraining and turning me toward him. His eyes are unflinching. “I need to know what your Mistress has.”

This is action and it helps push my anguish back. “What do you want?” I ask, my voice trembling.

“Is it safe for me to meet with her—or is she too loyal to the Commission?” he asks.

I think of the last few weeks in the Manor, the presence of the Rover and his brutal tribe. The way she had sent Berg to the University for testing. Her friend in the City.

“No,” I say. It stings, feels something like a betrayal. For the first time, I have some sympathy for Berg—divided loyalties are a small slice of hell. “She’s too close to the City and the Prince.”

Rook’s nostrils flare. “Why haven’t you mentioned this before?”

“Because you don’t trust me,” I snap back.

“Sabah.” Arjun’s voice is full of reproach and I twist to glare at him.

“I’ll get your answers, if that’s what you want. But waltzing into the Manor is suicide—if the Mistress doesn’t hand you to the Commission, Berg will kill you. He kills any ban-wolves he comes across.” I say it without feeling, without thinking. It is simple truth. But the sharp gazes of Arjun and Rook grow heavy and I heave a sigh. “Berg was attacked by a ban-wolf five years ago. He almost died—and still carries the scars. And he has no reason to like Arjun,” I say grudgingly. Speaking of Berg in front of Arjun seems wrong somehow, and it makes me nervous. “He doesn’t forgive easily,” I finish, lamely.