Edge of the Falls (After the Fall) (14 page)

"What was it like?" I ask, before I can stop the question.

"It was hell--like being torn apart slowly. All of your skin being ripped away and then being laid out in an acidstorm. I thought I would die before it was through. The idea of Gali going through the same thing, facing the same unknown terror--it was enough to make me fight through the pain. Although," a bitter smile quirked his lips, "fighting is a bit much to describe what I did. I survived. That's all. But that was enough. I don't even know how long we were left in the dungeons of the City. Months—when we were released, the patrol I had trained with guarded the bridge."

"That's why they wouldn't shoot you," I say, remembering. He nods.

"Gali and I wandered Outside together for ages. Neither of us was sure what to do—we had instincts driving us that were outlandish and unfamiliar. We were far from home, and knew we'd never see it again. And then, Rook found us. Took us in. It was good for both of us—we had protection and I knew the City. I knew its defenses."

"So he set you to watch it," I say, a bitter taste in my mouth.

His gaze is unflinching as he answers, "Yes. The City, and the Manor. He wanted information on your Mistress."

I look down, pain filling me. "I see." All of this was to explain I mean nothing to him? My eyes sting, and I blink furiously.

He breathes a laugh. "No, you don't. Sabah, he took me off City recon two months before I first made contact with you."

I frown, my mouth open to ask a question, but he stops me, a claw gentle against my lips. "I couldn't stop coming to the Manor. Even though we never spoke—I watched you. I saw how you cared for the younger children, the way you laughed at their stories. The fierce protectiveness in your eyes when they were threatened. I saw defiance and beauty and even though Rook warned me I was too close, I couldn’t stay away. You were like a drug."

He meets my eyes, and my breath catches a little. Has anyone,
ever
, looked at me like this? The raw emotion makes me tremble and my mouth goes dry as he says, "I went to the Manor for Rook. I ran the Shield for my people's protection. I stayed near you for myself. For my sanity. Because the thought of being away from you was something I couldn't handle—even when I tried, even when you didn't see me, I couldn't stay away.” A tiny smile, but it reaches his eyes. “And, truthfully? I didn’t want to.”

**

I jerk awake when a small hand shakes me.

I snap upright, and slap a hand over my mouth to muffle my scream of pain. Gali winces in sympathy, making shushing noises as I ride out the agony burning in my side.

When I can breathe without pain dancing across my vision, she leans back, and offers me an apologetic grimace. “Sorry.”

I shake my head, dismissing her concern. She watches me, until I finally force a smile at her. “Stop hovering, Gali,” I say hoarsely, and she makes a face, hoisting herself onto my bed and sitting there, legs crossed under her.

“You didn’t eat much,” she observes, poking at my food with a long claw.

“I was thinking,” I answer. Knowledge flashes in her eyes for a moment as they dart to me, and then she looks down at her hands.

“Food will help you heal,” she states.

I look at her, and cannot keep the curiosity from my eyes. A grim smile turns her lips, a sound between a growl and sigh slipping free of her. "I'll talk. You eat."

Obedient, I pick up a winterberry and crunch the thick skin between my teeth. The juice—sugary tart—explodes across my taste buds and I scrunch my eyes closed for a moment. Gali laughs, a breathy sound that seems wrong coming from such a fierce looking creature.

"Arjun told you about our past?" she says, and I nod. There is no reason to hide it. She shakes her head, smiling ruefully. "He shouldn't have. It makes you even more of a risk, when you leave us."

Her words stab at me, painful. "I would never betray him," I say steadily.

She waves away my words. "I know that. But I know Rook too—and Arjun, for that matter. He's never told anyone about us. Aside from Rook," she corrects herself without thought, and her lips twitch a little at the mention of the older ban-wolf.

It is not the first time I have noticed the unconscious gesture. "You care for him a great deal, don't you?" I say gently.

Silver gray eyes find mine and she grins. "Is it that obvious?"

I shrug.

Gali sighs. "I respect Rook. I respect that he took a shitty life and made it into this." She gestures at the cave. "I respect that he can keep himself—all of us—grounded in reality while still searching for hope. Even when hope is nothing but a fool’s dream."

I frown, opening my mouth to ask what she means, but she is still speaking. "When Rook first found us, I had been injured. Arjun and I were cornered by a tigercat, and the only choice we had was to fight it. We didn't fare well. The Keepers--" Here her face twists, full of memory and pain. "They didn't take us together. Arjun was taken first. I was pulled from the street one afternoon as I walked home from my classes. I don't know what they did to Arjun. We never speak of it, because when you face something that horrible, talking about it doesn't seem right. There is a peace in letting it rest." She looks at me, as if trying to make me understand.

Strangely, I do. At home, we never talk about the trips over the Falls, about searching a dark cave for starrbriars or the deafening roar and beat of water. The only time it is mentioned is when the children ask me what it is like, before going over themselves.

"They didn't change me right away. That would have been too easy.” She pauses, and it seems her eyes turn inward, looking at memories I do not want to share. The shadows in her eyes tell me more than I want to know.

Finally, she rouses herself. “When they did finally change me, they released me with Arjun almost immediately. I was weak—too weak to be sent Outside. And Arjun suffered for it. We almost died, before Rook found us. And I think, sometimes, he would have done better leaving us to die.” She laughs, a strangely happy noise. "Instead, he took us to his garden."

"His garden?" I ask, startled.

She flashes a grin. "Yeah. I didn't understand it myself, at first. But he took us both to a cavern. It's deeper in, past even the sulfur pool. And it's gorgeous. I can't explain it, not really. The whole thing is covered in moss and these tiny plants, with shiny leaves and a bushy flower head. On the edges of the cavern, there are other flowers—wildrose, nightlilies, a few poison plants. But I didn't notice that the first time. All I knew is that Rook made me lay down in the moss and flowers, and I was covered in sticky sap. And the burning from the change eased. The ache in my bones seemed to go away. I stayed there for a week—Arjun a little less than me—and I was fine. I walked out healthier than I'd ever been. It was amazing."

A sick feeling is filling my stomach, but I force myself to concentrate on her words. "We told Rook about where we'd come from, about what had happened. And that was that. He took us into the pack without any question. Since Arjun has Keeper training and is familiar with the defenses of Mlena, we were given standing in the pack and respect."

She flushes and that distracts me from my thoughts. "And you?" I prod.

"I was myself. And Rook took interest—sometimes I think it is only because of Arjun, but..." she trails off, shrugging.

So there
is
something there, I think. The validation of my thoughts would please me more if I weren't so focused on her words. The cavern that she spoke of: are those plants what I suspect? "Gali," I say carefully, "I need to see Arjun and Rook."

She senses something in my words. I can feel it in her gaze as she watches me, her interest suddenly sharp and predatory.

"And," I take a deep breath, looking up, "I need to see the garden.”

I expect Rook, expect demands and questions. But it is Arjun who comes, and although his gaze is questioning as it rests on me, he does not push. He picks me up, gently, cradling me against his chest. “Close your eyes, Sabah.”

I look at him, so close it’s almost painful. “Why?”

He leans closer, his breath puffing against my lips. “Because Rook doesn’t want you to know where you’re going.”

"He doesn't trust me, does he?" I say, bitterly.

Arjun shifts a little, almost a shrug. "He's cautious. Sabah, he holds the lives of almost thirty of us. And the garden is one of our last lines of defense. So many of us would die without the healing properties there."

"And he thinks I'll betray that? I can't see, much less retrace my steps to lead someone back here,” I say, struggling to keep panic from my voice. The darkness of the caves is cloying, and I feel suffocated.

"It's not just that, you know. He doesn't know your loyalties," he says, his voice neutral.

I tilt my head up a little, and my lips inadvertently brush soft hair and warm skin. He shivers under me, and it takes every ounce of willpower I have, not to press a kiss against his neck. "Do you know where my loyalties lie, Arjun?" I ask, my voice husky.

I can feel his eyes on me as we pause, and I am grateful for the darkness as I duck my head down, into his shoulder. "I know it does not belong to the City," he says, and that is true. It seems it is enough for him, because he shifts me, so gently I could be made of spun glass, and we continue through the blackness.

Deprived of sight, my other senses seem to sharpen--I can smell him, and the musky smell of wet cave, the bitter scent of ash and smoke. Every move registers with tiny licks of pain, soothed by the tickle of his hair brushing my skin, the warmth of his arms cradling me close. Above the sound of his soft footsteps and echoes of others farther away, I can hear water moving nearby and the sound of his heart. It is steady, even, but when I move, it seems to jump. It amuses me, and makes me want to tease him. With a sigh, I restrain myself.

Something pricks at me, a scent tickling my nose that is both familiar and unknown. My eyes still closed, my head swings, searching for it.

"Shh, pet, we're close now," he murmurs and I settle, shoving my impatience down irritably.

I can feel the shift of air as we enter the garden. The cavern is large; I can feel the space stretching around and above me. There is a slight give to his step that tells me clearly that we are on plants. The scent of crushed green stings my nose and I sneeze, pain lancing through my side.
That
is fast becoming familiar.

"Put her down." The stern voice is recognizable—Rook.

There is a sharp edge to his voice—excitement and tension. Arjun carefully lowers me to my feet, and I wobble a little, before I find my balance. His hands close over my hips, holding me steady as I look around.

Rook and Gali are the only ones present--and against the backdrop in which they stand, easy to dismiss. I gasp, staring at the garden.

Gali has not done it justice--it stretches across a vast cavern. An underground stream divides the rock room. I stand near a bush of nightlilies. They wave at me in the firelight--the ban-wolves have installed sconces to hold torches along the walls of the cave. It leaves the middle of the cavern dark--shrouded in shadow, and that is where Rook and Gali sit. I should go to them. But I cannot face them just yet, so I turn away, sniff at the wildrose.

"You make the incense from this," I say, glancing up. It explains the familiar smell tickling my nose. In part.

"What did you want to talk about, Sabah?" Rook asks, and his voice allows no room for small talk. I walk, supported by Arjun, to where the moss and flowers begin. I kneel, heedless now of the pain in my side. The only thing that I can see, or feel, is the sticky sap, the sharp press of rocks in a much smaller cave, the hiss of fire-lizards and snakes.

Starrbriars

I glance up, and know they can see tears standing in my eyes. "How do you keep the fire-lizards away?" I ask, my voice much steadier than I expect.

Gali gasps, and my eyes swing from Rook to her. "How did you know they like the garden?" she wonders.

I laugh, a short, harsh sound that is almost as animalistic as any sound ban-wolves can make. I feel Arjun's hands tighten on my hips and I shake my head, bitter. "I could tell you a hell of a lot about starrbriars."

I glance back at them, and sigh. "They're blooming out of season," I say, almost absently.

"We control the temperature," Rook says. I look at him, and he shrugs. "We can't afford to be in need of them when they are out of season."

I nod. “Mistress tried growing them, when we were young. There’s something about the caves—the flowers don’t bloom properly anywhere else.” Distantly, I wonder how much Mistress would sacrifice if she knew a crop of this size was here, for the taking. I snort. If she could get past the ban-wolves. "I can see why you protect a secret like this," I say, suddenly tired.

"What do you know of the plant?" Rook demands.

I smile coldly. "You must know, sir. You've asked me about the Mistress, and that was not idle curiosity—not if you have a crop like this within your home."

His head tilts and a smile gleams from the gloom. "True enough, my dear. But I am the host—and control your fate for the moment. The pack is furious. Do you think it is coincidence you have seen only myself, Arjun, and his sister since you woke? No, Sabah—it is for your protection. And my mood is quickly deteriorating. You would do well to answer my questions, and not aggravate my patience." He speaks without heat or menace. It is icy facts and maybe that is why it causes me to shiver.

Behind me, I can feel Arjun vibrating with anger, feel the growl building in his chest shaking against me. “Don’t threaten her,” he snarls.

Rook laughs. “I’m leader of this pack, and she’s an interloper. I’ll do whatever I damn well please. We wouldn’t be in this position if you had followed orders.”

Arjun tenses, and for a moment, I think he’s going to attack Rook. I squeeze his hand at my hip and move to sit, drawing him down with me. "Fine," I say, anxious to avoid a fight. "But you'll answer my questions about the Mistress."