Edge of Night (13 page)

“All right, familiars in the passenger seat.” She gave Balthasar a pointed look and the cat obeyed—after he’d rubbed his sinuous body across her black T-shirt, leaving a million hairs behind. Well, that told her what he thought about being kicked off her lap, didn’t it? She sighed and swiped at the fur, but gave it up as a lost cause.

The adrenaline rush from her maybe-follower scare had dwindled, so her hands only shook a little when she slid the key into the ignition. Backing out of her parking space, she gave one last glance around. The fog was thicker than mud, but she still didn’t catch a glimpse of anyone.

She wasn’t sure if she should be relieved or worried about her sanity. “Never locking up and leaving alone again, Balthasar. Someone’s just going to have deal with waiting around for a second for me to be done.”

It had never been a problem before. The restaurant was in a safe area of town, but she didn’t care about crime statistics—she just didn’t want to have to cringe whenever she left work and pray she didn’t feel creeped out. Maybe it was Asher tonight, but maybe it wasn’t. She still had no real way of knowing who had been prank calling her, or if anyone was really hanging around the parking lot at night.

“Seriously. Never again. Holly or Jordie or Tina will be walking me out. It’s safer for everyone. Luca would think so too. And Jack.”

“Rrowr.” Balthasar’s meow sounded agreeable, so she decided to take it that he agreed with her. Smart kitty.

He pressed his front paws to the side of her leg and rested his head on her thigh, looking as innocent as possible about the fact that he wasn’t quite on the passenger side. She rolled her eyes and snorted. Familiars—couldn’t live with them, couldn’t kill them, always impossible to deal with. Jack said that Selina’s German shepherd familiar was the biggest attitude on four legs, but for sheer swagger, Erin suspected Balthasar had him beat. Not that she could say so, because then she’d have to explain why she knew so much about Luca Cavalli’s familiar. Yeah, so not going down that road.

Focusing on familiars helped her calm down enough that she was almost steady by the time she reached Luca’s house. He lived in a posh area of Madison Park, though his house wasn’t one of the bazillion dollar monsters that some people had built in this part of Seattle. He tended to come to her condo more often than she came here, which she didn’t mind, but his place was nice.

And she might never see it again, what with her new let’s-get-distant policy on a certain vampiric FBI agent. Her heart squeezed at the notion, but she tamped down on that, grabbed her purse, scooped Balthasar into her arms and jogged up to the front door.

He already had it open before she got up the porch steps, and he stood there framed by the light spilling from his living room. He wore a pair of patterned pajama pants that looked soft to the touch and a cotton T-shirt that hugged his muscles like a lover. Damn, but he was sexy.

He arched his eyebrows at her. “I said I’d come out.”

“I know.” She brushed a hand down her cat-fuzzed shirt and looked anywhere but at him. It was entirely possible she’d start drooling if she stared too long. “Anyway, here’s your cat.”

The familiar squirmed until she let him down, and he darted past Luca’s feet into the house. They both watched the cat until he disappeared up the staircase.

“Sorry he’s been a bother. Would you like to come in? I just made some coffee.” A small smile touched his lips. “I was out drinking with the team. Rough day.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” Did she ever. This day had sucked hairy donkey balls. Sweaty ones. Yep, that nasty.

He tilted his head. “If I remember correctly, caffeine doesn’t keep you from sleeping either.”

“It doesn’t.” She shouldn’t do it, but she didn’t want to be alone. It was weak and stupid, but there it was. So she stepped over the threshold into his domain.

He shut the door and led the way into the kitchen. He moved with the inherent grace of his race, but she could see tension in the muscles in his back, in the stiff set of his shoulders. He was upset about something. Work? Her? Both? Maybe something else. She didn’t know, so she followed him in silence.

Not looking at her, he moved around his spacious kitchen while she rested her elbows against the marble-topped island in the middle of the room. It wasn’t as modern as her kitchen at home, and it could definitely use an industrial stove and fridge, but it wouldn’t offend her sensibilities to cook here. Not that she ever had. Mostly when she came over here, Luca had dragged her to the floor, bent her over the couch, taken her against the wall. There was even one memorable episode on the big antique wooden desk in his home office. She didn’t even think they’d ever made it to the bedroom. This was certainly the longest she’d been here and kept her clothes on.

The thought made her hormones hum with an awareness that always seemed to be present when she was near him, like a live wire just waiting to be tapped into.

“What do you want in your coffee?” His words were clipped as he grabbed mugs from the cupboard to set on the counter. The longer they’d stood there, the more rigid his posture had become. She doubted most people would have noticed, but she knew what a truly relaxed Luca looked like, and this wasn’t it.

“I’d rather you just tell me what’s wrong,” she answered softly. Though a part of her didn’t want to know, or rather, knew that his response wasn’t going to be one she enjoyed. Her heart skipped a beat, trepidation fluttering in her belly.

A snort burst from him. “Many things.”

“Name one.”

“You.”

She closed her eyes, a sigh soughing out of her throat. Yeah, that’s what she’d been afraid he’d say.

“I deserved the courtesy of a phone call, Erin.”

Dropping her chin to her chest, she closed her eyes. “I know.”

When she looked up, he’d finally turned to face her. There was pain in his gaze, and that cut at something deep inside her; something she refused to name, but knew she shouldn’t feel.

His mouth worked for a moment before he spoke, and his accent grew thicker as his voice roughened. “If you’re here to end our affair, just do it. Don’t leave me in suspense.”

“I don’t want to end our affair.” And until she’d said the words aloud, she didn’t realize
how
true they were. It rang like a clarion bell in her head. No. No, she absolutely did not want to end things with him. The weight that had been pressing on her chest for the last few days lessened. Not all the way, but she took the first easy breath since she’d watched him walk out her door.

“Then what’s this been about?” He stepped forward until he could press his palms to the other side of the island. “Avoiding my calls, not answering my texts. What happened?”

“I…” She bit her lip, wishing she could give him a response that wouldn’t leave her soul stripped bare. It was too soon for that. She wasn’t even sure what she felt, what she wanted. She just knew she didn’t want to walk away.

It was probably a huge mistake, and she was definitely going to get her heart trampled on, but…that was just how it was going to be. There could never be anything permanent between them for about forty-five different—and valid—reasons, but she
liked
this man. She wanted him. She wanted him in her life for as long as she could keep him. Doing what she could to guard her heart would help, but in the end, she’d have more invested in their affair than he would. That meant she’d get hurt. She clenched her teeth, steeling herself. So be it. It wouldn’t be the first time, and the chance to be with him was more important than the prospect of being hurt.

God, she sounded like the worst kind of masochist.

She blinked and he was in front of her, bending so his gaze was level with hers. He asked, “You… What is it?”

“I worry about us getting too close.” There. That was informative, but not too revealing.

Those dark eyes seemed to reach down deep inside her and see far more than she was comfortable with. She wanted to squirm but she forced herself to keep her gaze locked with his.

“What happened to make this a sudden concern?” His brow furrowed. “Was it because of the comment about hiding out at your house? Erin, it was—”

“A joke, I know.” She glanced down. “The idea was a little too appealing and it scared me. Our affair isn’t like that. It doesn’t have that potential.
I know that.
” She looked up, jutting her jaw mutinously. “I worry about getting too close. Let’s leave it at that.”

“Sure.” He nodded. “I promise not to ask you to go steady if you promise to stop hinting about getting that diamond engagement ring. Then you don’t have to worry about such things.”

A laugh strangled out of her, and gratitude filled her that he’d lightened the moment with teasing rather than push her for more. “Sapphire, please. Diamonds are boring.”

“Right. How could I have forgotten, since you mention it so often?” He huffed, settling back against the island and crossing his arms. He met her gaze from the corner of his eyes. “Too close or not, I didn’t like being without you, Erin.”

“Luca…” Her throat closed up, her heart stuttering. She had to remind herself—ruthlessly—that he was in love with someone else. And he was a vampire when she came from a family of wolves. He didn’t mean what he’d said the way her foolish heart wished he did.

“I didn’t like it,” he repeated quietly. “We’re friends at least, aren’t we?”

“Friends with benefits, but…yeah, I guess so.”
Friends
wasn’t exactly the word she’d use. Their relationship—such as it was—was both too personal and not personal enough to be labeled as something as simple as friends. But she’d didn’t really have a better word to describe what she felt for him.

“They are excellent benefits, indeed.” He stroked a thumb down the patch of hair under his lip. “And you don’t ignore your friends’ calls for days on end, right?”

“Right.” She tried not to wince, but stepped away so she could face him squarely. “I
am
sorry, Luca. No matter what my worries about us were, that was really crappy of me.”

His throat worked as he swallowed. “Just…don’t do it again.”

“I won’t.” She wanted to lay her hand on his arm—normally would have done so without a second thought—but things were different today, morphing too fast for her to know what was right and what was wrong.

“If those concerns of yours get more intense than you want to deal with, and you decide you want out, just say so. Don’t jerk me around.”

“I’m not jerking you around, and I’m sorry.” She twisted her lips. “It’s not just about you either. It’s been a bad few days for me.”

He grunted. “If you’d have called, maybe I could have helped with whatever was wrong. That’s what friends do.”

See, now there was a line she didn’t think they should cross. For him, this was still mostly about sex—very, very good sex—and mixing all the crazy other parts of their lives together would be like oil and water. Or fire and gasoline. They could call each other
friends
, but their families would hate each other, and anything she had to hear about his work that involved his one-true-love, Tess, would soon feel like salt on a wound. It just wouldn’t work.

How Erin felt was out of her control, but what she did with those feelings wasn’t. Trying to make something real out of their booty call arrangement would make her certifiable, even if she hadn’t hit delusional mode in the parking lot earlier. Which was still uncertain. But all of this was definitely a discussion she didn’t want to have.

Time for a distraction.

She gave him a slow, promising smile. “You could help me now.”

Yeah, help her with a very big, eyes-rolling-back screaming orgasm. She let her smile grow wider, naughtier. His eyes narrowed as if he might be deciding if he wanted to let her get away with this unsubtle ploy. For half a second, she thought he might turn her down.

“Take your clothes off,” he ordered, staying where he was leaning casually against the island, arms folded, ankles crossed.

She set her purse on the marble surface next to his elbow, then flicked open the button on her pants. “You don’t want to take them off for me?”

Shaking his head slowly, his gaze stayed pinned to the hand on her fly. “No, I want to watch. I want to see all your curves. I’ve missed them.”

He’d gone longer without seeing them when he was out in the field working a case. Though their nocturnal visits had gotten closer together the longer their association continued, it wasn’t as if they saw each other
every
night.

She temporarily left her pants behind and hooked finger under the bottom of her shirt. She tugged up the hem of her black T-shirt, baring her midriff while he looked on with blatant hunger. Oh yeah. She liked that. She’d always liked the way he looked at her, as if she had his entire focus and nothing in the world was more important than this moment he spent with her. It was a heady feeling, to own the attention of a man like him.

After slipping her top over her head, she let it drop to the counter next to her purse. Then she reached behind her to unhook her bra. “I think it should be one piece of clothing each, as a fair exchange. Your turn.”

The man had his shirt off so fast she was surprised he didn’t get rug burn on his arms.

“Don’t stop.” The low, husky timbre of his voice made her shiver. It was just the tone he used when he was over her, about to slide deep inside her pussy. Her inner muscles clenched at the thought.