Easy Way to Stop Smoking (25 page)

4. Misunderstanding instructions.
These occasional misunderstandings appear to be based around the following:

a
.
‘I can't stop thinking about smoking.'
Of course you can't, and if you try, you will create a phobia and be miserable about it. It's like trying to fall asleep at night: the more you try, the harder it becomes. It is inevitable that you will think about smoking. It's
what
you are thinking that's important. If you are thinking, ‘Oh, I'd love a cigarette,' or ‘When will I be free?' you'll have to use willpower not to smoke, which will likely make you feel miserable. But if you are thinking, ‘YIPPEE! I am free!' you'll be happy, and the more you think about it, the happier you'll be.

b
.
‘When will the ‘little monster' die?'
As I have mentioned, nicotine leaves your body very rapidly. You may continue to feel that empty, insecure feeling because many things cause it, including hunger, stress or fear—none of which are necessarily related to smoking. Incidentally, this is why so many Willpower quitters are never quite sure that they've kicked it and never feel truly free. They incorrectly interpret a normal hunger pang or slightly nervous feeling about, say, making a big presentation at work, as a nicotine pang. In any case, the feeling is so slight that most people don't even know it's there.

c
.
Waiting for the moment of revelation.
As the saying goes: a watched pot never boils. Don't sit around waiting for it. Get out and enjoy your life and it will come.

I once stopped for three weeks using Willpower. I met an old school friend and ex-smoker. He said, ‘How are you getting on?'

I said, ‘I've survived three weeks.'

He said, ‘What do you mean, you've ‘survived' three weeks?'

I said, ‘I've gone three weeks without a cigarette.'

He said, ‘What are you going to do? ‘Survive' for the rest of your life? What are you waiting for? You've done it. You're a non-smoker.'

I thought, ‘He's absolutely right. What am I waiting for?' Unfortunately, because I didn't fully understand the nature of the trap at that time, I was soon back in it, but the point was noted. You become a non-smoker when you extinguish your last cigarette. The important thing is to be a happy non-smoker from the start.

d
. ‘
I am still craving cigarettes'.
How can you claim, ‘I want to be a non-smoker,' and then say, ‘I want a cigarette'? That's a contradiction. If you say, ‘I want a cigarette,' you are saying, ‘I want to be a smoker.' Non-smokers don't want to smoke cigarettes. These thoughts imply a continued desire to smoke. Re-read this book to identify the problem area or contact our US office on 1 866 666 4299.

e
.
I've opted out of life.
Why? All you have done is stop choking yourself. You don't have to stop living. You have just saved your life, not lost it! Over the next couple of days, you will be experiencing a very mild sensation. This sensation is so mild that most people aren't even aware of it. When you were a smoker, you experienced this sensation—a slightly empty, insecure feeling—pretty much throughout your smoking life: when you slept, when you were working, when you went to the movies etc. It didn't bother you when you were a smoker, so why let it bother you now? It didn't stop you trying to lead a full life then, so why should it do so now? Life is for living, so go enjoy it. If there are smokers present, so what? Remember, you are not the one being deprived; they are. Smokers are deprived
of their health, their money, their self-respect, their energy, their self-esteem and their freedom. And for what do they make these incredible sacrifices? So they can remove that little empty, insecure feeling and temporarily feel like a non-smoker! Does this sound like a good deal to you? The truth is that every single one of them will be envying you. Be proud of this wonderful achievement. Enjoy your time in the spotlight! When those smokers see you so happy they'll think you're Superman. And, in truth, you'll feel a bit like him!

f
.
‘I am miserable and irritable'.
This is most likely because you haven't fully understood or followed my instructions. Find out which one it is and address it by re-reading the relevant chapter(s) in this book. Some people understand and believe everything I say but still start off with a feeling of doom and gloom, as if something terrible were happening. Of course, the truth is that something wonderful has happened. The terrible thing was when you became a smoker, and the terror continued throughout all those years of slavery. If health, happiness and freedom aren't enough for you, then you have bigger problems than smoking. Why be miserable and make it hard on yourself when the reality is that you have so much to celebrate?

If you follow these simple instructions, you cannot fail.

1. Make a solemn vow that you will never, ever, smoke, chew, suck or otherwise consume anything that contains nicotine, and stick to that vow.

2.
Get this clear in your mind:
there is absolutely nothing to give up
. By that I don't mean that you will be better off
as a non-smoker (you've known that your entire smoking life); nor do I mean that the pleasure or benefit from smoking is not worth the expense and risk. What I mean is that there is absolutely no benefit to smoking whatsoever. It is like banging your head against a wall because it feels a bit better when you stop.

3. There is no such thing as
a confirmed smoker. You are just one of the millions who fell for this subtle trap. Like millions of ex-smokers who once thought they couldn't escape, you have escaped.

4.
If you were to weigh up the pros and cons of smoking, the conclusion would always be the same—to be a non-smoker and happy about it.
Having made what you know to be the correct decision, don't ever make yourself miserable by doubting it.

5. Don't try not to think about smoking
or worry that you are thinking about it too much. But whenever you do think about it—whether it's today, tomorrow or the rest of your life—think, ‘YIPPEE! I'M A NON-SMOKER!'

6. DO NOT use any form of substitute.

7. DO NOT carry or keep any smoking materials.

8. DO NOT avoid other smokers.

9. DO NOT change your lifestyle in any way purely because you've stopped smoking.

If you follow the above instructions, you will soon experience the moment of revelation. But:

10. Don't wait for that moment to come
. Just get on with your life. Enjoy the highs and cope with the lows. The moment will come, and when it does, it's a moment of pure joy.

S
mokers are panicking these days. There has been a huge change in society. Not too long ago, you could smoke anywhere; today smokers are shoved outside into the freezing cold. Even smokers regard smoking as anti-social. They sense that the whole thing is coming to an end, and they are right. Every year, millions of smokers are quitting and smokers left in the trap are acutely aware of this.

Every time a smoker successfully escapes from the sinking ship, the ones left on it feel more miserable and more threatened. Every smoker instinctively knows that it is ridiculous to spend a fortune for rolled up dried vegetable matter, to set light to it and to breathe the cancerous fumes into your lungs. So smokers blatantly lie about their ‘habit', not only to others,
but also to themselves. They have to. This is essential if they are to retain some self-respect. They feel the need to justify what they know in their hearts to be unjustifiable behavior. They buy into the brainwashing because they have no other option; and they vigorously defend their smoking as a ‘right' or a ‘personal choice'. But this is really just putting lipstick on a pig because to admit the truth would leave them feeling frightened.

If a smoker tries to stop by using willpower, he feels deprived and miserable. All this does is to confirm to other smokers how right they are to keep smoking.

Non-smokers don't feel the need to justify their decision to be non-smokers. Some decisions are such no-brainers that they do not need explanation or justification. Smokers therefore don't really understand that it is easy and fun to be a non-smoker. Instead, they believe that becoming one will involve making a tremendous sacrifice. This intimidates the smoker and contributes to the fear that keeps him smoking.

As a non-smoker you can help smokers to see that it is easy and fun to be a non-smoker. Show the smoker that there is nothing to fear, nothing to ‘give up' and absolutely everything to gain. Tell him how wonderful it is not to have to choke yourself, how lovely it is to wake up feeling fit and strong and to be able to really breathe. Tell him how great it feels to be free of the terrible, unremitting, unrewarding slavery of smoking. Tell him how it feels to finally be free of the conflict and stress of being a smoker. Even better, get him to read this book.

It is essential not to belittle the smoker by muttering away about second-hand smoke or ostentatiously waving away the smoke and pretending that it's choking you to death. Remember how much you hated such people when you were a smoker? Please don't turn into one of them, for goodness' sake. Ex-smokers already have a bad reputation with smokers. This reputation is entirely due to the influence of ex-smokers who have quit by using willpower. Part of that ex-smoker still
believes that he made a sacrifice when he quit. He continues to feel somewhat vulnerable and copes with this vulnerability by attacking the smoker. This might make him feel better, but it does absolutely nothing for the smoker, apart from to confirm that all ex-smokers are miserable, sanctimonious do-gooders with nothing better to do than to tell others how to run their lives. I had no time for such people when I was a smoker, and I have no time for them now. In this situation, the ex-smoker's attack causes the smoker to feel anxiety, frustration and fear. These add up to stress, and what's the first thing a smoker wants to do in a stress situation? That's right—light up.

Although the change in society's attitude to smoking is the main reason why so many want to quit, it doesn't make it easier for them to do so. In fact, it makes it a great deal harder. Today in the US every smoker who leaves his or her house is subjected to severe restrictions on where and therefore when he or she can smoke. The restrictions are so severe that the smoker becomes obsessed with planning the next opportunity to smoke. This has the effect of making every cigarette seem precious, and this of course feeds the illusion that there is some pleasure in smoking. The reality is that all the smoker is ‘enjoying' is removing the feeling of deprivation and temporarily feeling like a non-smoker.

These periods of enforced abstinence don't even substantially reduce the amount a smoker smokes; they just mean that the smoker chain-smokes during the few occasions he or she can smoke unhindered. The smoker is ‘loading up' because they don't know when their next opportunity will come around.

The tighter the smoking restrictions and the more profound the disdain society displays towards smokers, the more the smoker has to change his lifestyle to revolve around the cigarette and the more ostracized he feels.

Society has made the mistake of demonizing the victim instead of the disease. Out of the many tragedies that surround the subject of smoking, surely this is one of the most tragic.

It's strange that even though heroin addicts are technically criminals in law, our instinct as a community is to try to help them in any way we can. Let us adopt the same attitude with smokers. Smoking isn't a choice; it's an addiction. The smoker smokes because he doesn't think he can stop. The smoker endures year after exhausting year of addiction and mental and physical slavery. We always say that a quick death is better than a slow one, so do not envy the poor smoker. He deserves to be treated with sensitivity, respect and dignity. And he also deserves your pity.

First study the contents of this book yourself and try to put yourself in the place of the smoker.

Do not attempt to force him to read this book or try to stop him smoking by telling him that he is ruining his health or wasting his money. He already knows this better than you do. Smokers do not smoke because they enjoy it or because they want to. They say this to themselves and others in order to retain some degree of self-respect. They smoke because they feel utterly dependent on cigarettes, because they think that the cigarette helps them relax and cope with stress and because they sense that life will never be enjoyable without smoking. If you try to force a smoker into quitting, this will make him want to
smoke more. This makes each cigarette appear precious which in turn makes it harder to quit.

Instead, concentrate on the other side of the coin. Get him into the company of ex-smokers (there are more than sixty million of them in the US). It will do him good to realize that there are millions of people who have been through this exact same experience. When I was a smoker it never occurred to me that all smokers felt the way I did; and that all ex-smokers had felt like this before they quit. Once he sees that there is life after quitting smoking, and that a smoke-free life is infinitely better than the half-life that smokers live, maybe he'll begin to feel a little less intimidated by the prospect of escaping.