Easier to Run (29 page)

“She takes after her Mom.” His face was bright and full of pride when he talked about them.

I remembered when Jenny brought her now husband to one of our cookouts. Six months later, I went to my very first wedding, and another year after that, we visited her in the hospital when her first baby was born. Ben had just gotten his license so I rode with him to the hospital in Chuck’s old Bronco.

I missed celebrating life events with their family. I missed celebrating them with mine, too. 

“When are you getting married?”

“We haven’t really made plans yet.” He crossed his legs, resting his ankle on his knee, and fiddled with the bottom hem of his pants. “Maybe after Jenny has her kid. Planning a wedding around a cranky, pregnant sister doesn’t sound appealing. And Abby is a counselor over at the community outreach program, so it never seems like there’s time to do much of anything. We’re always working, taking care of the kids, or chasing down her ex to drop off or pick up Clark.”

“He’s her son?”

“Yep, and just as feisty as Maddie.” He straightened his back and smiled. Being a dad suited him perfectly. “But I love them both.”

“Speaking of Maddie, how long do you think before she and Brantley kill one another?”

Mark chuckled and shook his head. “They’re fine. Unless you’re ready to go back.”

“Not really, but I also don’t want to miss any news.”

Mark reached across the table, and took my hand. “We’re not going to miss anything and despite how he looks”—he winked—“Ben’s tough.”

“Yeah, I heard he was even a football player once.”

“Exactly,” Mark nodded, then he scrunched his face. “I guess. He just mostly ran and jumped over people like a glorified track star.”

I laughed, but wondered if he knew about Ben and his high school track star. Why did my brain have to take even the simplest conversation somewhere uncomfortable?

***

An hour later, we were all still packed in the little waiting room, being entertained by Maddie. Chuck and Beth had joined us and we all took turns chasing after the dark-haired ball of energy while we waited for an update.

Finally, a nurse stepped into the room, and everyone’s attention went right to her.

“Ben is resting. The orthopedist just finished up with him, so you can go back a few at a time if you like.”

The room went silent. I didn’t want to wait any longer, but I didn’t want to jump in front of his family either.

Chuck stood up, and offered me his hand. “Come on, Cas.”

No way was I arguing with that.

We followed the nurse down the hallway and into the last room of the hallway. Ben was still in his jeans, but his shirt had been replaced with a hospital gown.

“It’s about time,” he said. “I was about to make a break for it.”

“How does it feel?” I asked.

“Very, very, numb.” He held up his hand. His index finger and thumb were the only fingers not encased in the chunky white cast that went from the tip of his middle finger nearly to his elbow.

Chuck cleared his throat. “Maybe you should lay low for a while. Attempt not to tick anyone off.”

“Yeah.” Ben laid his arm back down and blew out a slow breath. “Looks like I don’t have a choice for a while. Someone might be getting a crash course in driving my pickup.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

“That’s probably not the brightest of ideas unless you want something else broken.”

“I just have to wait for a script and my release forms. Which at the rate they’re going could be another hour.” Ben grabbed my hand and pulled me against the bed, then slipped his arm around my waist.

“Good to see you’re okay,” Chuck said, patting Ben’s foot. “Maybe if we bring everyone else back here, they’ll get in a hurry to let you go.”

“Or they’ll admit me forever,” Ben laughed, but Chuck left us alone, and I wondered if it was to purposefully give us some time alone.

“Brantley and the police took care of your fan,” I said.

“Good,” Ben said. “Get up here,” He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me up onto the bed next to him.

“Everyone’s going to be in here soon,” I said, trying to squirm away.

“And I have a broken hand, so I win. You okay?”

“Look who’s asking. But, yeah. Sitting in the waiting room was the worst, but what’s in my head is still worse than reality.” I looked him in the eye. “I’m good.”

He smiled and kissed my cheek. “The cops were in here while they were injecting my hand with nerve blocker shit. That’s probably why they didn’t let you back earlier. Ever try answering questions while people are poking you with needles and yanking broken bones back into place.”

I bit my lip trying to force that mental image out of my head. “How’s your side?”

“Just bruised. My hand got the worst of it.” He tensed and grimaced.

“I take it the shots are wearing off.”

“So take my mind off of it.” He looked up at me with pleading eyes. Not that he really needed puppy dog eyes to win me over.

I leaned down to kiss him, ignoring the chorus of footsteps that I heard right behind me.

“I love you, Bug,” he whispered holding me close, with his stare as much as his arm as the cloud of voices enveloped us.

Ben

Mark sat Maddie in my lap, and her eyes widened at the thick white cast on my arm.

“Boo boo?” she asked.

“Big boo boo,” I nodded. It had felt like an eternity of waiting before they took X-rays and finally got the orthopedic specialist to come in and set the three breaks. But at least when he finally came, so did the nerve blocker.

Maddie kissed the plaster cast, then climbed up the bed and wrapped her arms around me. “Lub you,” she said, with a sloppy two-year-old kiss.

I hugged her with my casted arm and kissed the top of her head. Maybe one perk of being broken in three places would be some extra time with my family—especially the nieces and nephew who were growing too fast.

“I thought I told you to stay out of trouble,” Mark said.

“Nah,” I said and nodded to Cassie. “You told
her
to keep me out of trouble. Blame her.”

“Oh no,” Cassie said, throwing up her hands. “I can p-proudly say that
this
is in no way my fault.”

In such a short time, she’d gone from barely talking to me in the privacy of the semi, to talking in front of a room full of people. The old Cassie was still in there. Like an ember leftover from a fire, all she needed was the right environment and a little time to burn again.

And I’d be damned if anyone tried to dull her flames again.

“Yeah,” Mark said. “Don’t blame the girl when you get in trouble. It never leads to good things.”

He tickled Maddie’s side. “Ready to go pick up dinner and meet Momma?”

“Uh uh,” she said, tucking herself into a ball in my lap, and leaning into my chest.

I kissed the top of her head again. “I’d steal you for a while, but since I can’t drive, that won’t be so easy right now.”

Mark leaned over the railing, looking the young girl in the eyes. “And Ben’s not going to be so pleasant when that pain medicine wears of and he can feel that hand again.”

“Fix it,” she said, crossing her arms.

“Go with Daddy,” I said, nudging her side, but when she pouted up at me, she almost won. “I’ll make Cassie bring me to visit this weekend.”

“All better?” She pointed to my arm.

“No, that’s going to take a long time.” 

She stuck out her lower lip again, then climbed up to give me a kiss, before letting Mark pick her up. He sat her on his hip and flicked her still jutted out lower lip. “She wears that pout like a tiara.”

“Why wouldn’t she?” Dad asked, pinching her leg as Mark carried her passed.

“Take care, Ben. And listen to your boss.” He looked over his shoulder and winked before disappearing into the hallway.

“Where’d Brantley and Paige go?” Cassie asked.

“Up to see Liz,” Dad said. “They said they’d be back down in a few minutes. Brantley said he’d drive you home.”

“How you feeling?” Mom asked moving in to take the empty spot that Mark had left.

“It wasn’t too bad until the nerve block started wearing off. I get a throb every now and then.”

A nurse knocked three times and stepped in. “Mr. Murray.”

“I’m going to assume you want me,” I said waving my cast.

“I have release papers, a prescription for pain medicine, and a pill for you to take now. No driving after you take the medicine, and you’ll want to have someone pick up your prescription before this one wears off.” She sat everything on a tray table and wheeled it closer. “I need to check your ID bracelet.”

I stared at her for a second and held up my cast. “You think I put on a fake cast to get in here and get pain meds?”

Her mouth flattened. “You’d be surprised.”

I lifted my left arm over Cassie’s head and showed her the bracelet, still thinking it’d be a lot easier to switch out the damn bracelet than fake a cast.

She handed me the white pill, and a small cup of water so I tossed the pill in my mouth and downed it, hoping it’d kick in before the shots wore off. Then, I handed the script and packet of information over to Cassie and scribbled something resembling my name on the release papers with my left hand.

“Hope you don’t ever intend on needing to read that,” I said, handing back the pen.

“As I recall, it’s n-not as if your r-regular handwriting is any better,” Cassie said, looking at me over her shoulder and raising her eyebrows.

I poked her in the ribs and she giggled and jumped off the bed.

“You should be nice to your caretaker.” She waved the papers at me.

The nurse smiled. “You’re free to get dressed and leave. Unless you want me to bring in a wheelchair.”

“I’m good,” I said. “All I need is a shirt.”

“I figured that,” Mom said, digging through her bag. She tossed a blue shirt into my lap. “I’ve been through my share of ER visits. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“You’re going to get all embarrassing now, aren’t you?”

She rubbed the top of my head. “It’s my right after birthing and raising you.”

“Ah,” I grimaced. “That’s beyond…” I couldn’t find words. “Just no.”

She laughed and squeezed my arm. “Want us to wait around until Brantley comes back down?”

“Nah.” The tattoo was one thing I hadn’t yet broken to them, and I wasn’t eager to break the news to them under the circumstances.

Dad patted my leg. “Call us if you need anything.” Then, he waved his arm at Mom. “Come on, Beth, kids will be just fine without us dawdling over them.”

They both hugged Cassie as they left, and I swung my legs over the edge of the bed. I reached behind my neck, fishing for the stupid ties that held the gown on.

Cassie snickered then reached around my neck and undid the ties. I stood up, but my legs swayed under me and I braced myself against Cassie’s shoulder.

“Pain meds kicking your ass?”

“Apparently,” I muttered. Once I was steady, she reached around my waist and undid the second tie to pull off the gown. Then, she grabbed the shirt from the bed and I pulled it over the cast, then down over my head. “Is this what the next four weeks is going to be like?”

“You don’t always expect m-me to be this nice, do you?” She put her hands on my shoulders and stood on her tiptoes to give me a peck on the lips. “Should I call Brantley down here to carry you out?”

“No, Firecracker. But, I would like to go up and see Liz.”

She gave me a long skeptical look. “You can barely stand up.”

I felt better after being on my feet for a few seconds, so I figured the worst had passed. “I’ll manage.”

She rolled her eyes and wrapped her arm around my waist. “Fine, but if you face plant. I’m l-laughing.”

“Noted.”

***

Brantley’s eyes widened when I stepped past the curtain into Liz’s room.

“Hey,” he said meeting me at the front of the room. “She’s been out since we got here. I didn’t think you’d break free so quickly.”

Paige was sitting on a tall stool closer to the bed, swinging her legs back and forth.

“Any change?” I whispered.

“She’s making sense,” he said. “But Mom said she hasn’t been interested in talking to anyone since the police left.” He peeked past me. “Where’s Firecracker?”

I nodded toward the door. “In the hallway.”

“Want us to step out and give you a minute?”

I grunted. “Remember what happened the last time she and I were alone together?”

He held up his index finger. “Exactly. Doctors and nurses are right outside. They’ll be more help in that situation.” He patted both of my shoulders, then waited for Paige to leave with him.

“Thank a lot, man,” I said to their backs.

I walked up to the bed. I wanted her to wake up so we could talk, but I also wanted her to stay asleep so we didn’t have to. I was tired of being pulled in multiple directions all of the time. It was getting beyond exhausting.

When I had spoken to the police, they said they’d already gotten a warrant for Rocky based on what Liz and our apartment manager had reported.

It was insane. All of it was simply insane. I rubbed my hands over my face, then up and over my short hair. The machine next to me beeped, and my back straightened anxiously.

Liz groaned and scrunched her eyes. I thought for a moment she’d just fall back asleep, but then she blinked and looked around.

“Didn’t....” She cleared her throat, but her voice was still raspy. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

I picked up her water glass and offered it to her, but she refused to look at me. “I thought I’d walk up and see how you were doing.”

“I figured the crazy news had already passed all around town by now.” She finally looked at me and her eyes widened. “What the hell happened to your hand?”

“Rocky,” I said.

“Look, I’m sorry.” Her forehead wrinkled and she shook her head. “I—The past few weeks are a fog. I have no idea…. I—I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about the bi-polar? Or anyone?” I stepped closer to the bed and held onto the railing to steady myself. My head felt fuzzy and the sensation was spreading to all of my extremities, but I was determined to have this conversation now.

“Because it was no one’s business. It
is
no one’s business. I don’t need people looking at me like I’m sick all the time.” She tugged at her blankets, then readjusted.

“But, Liz—”

“No,” she shouted, then peeked at the door and lowered her voice. “I’ve been getting it all morning and you’re not going to say anything that everyone else hasn’t covered already. I was on meds,
this
wasn’t supposed to happen.”

I heard footsteps and thought for a moment that Brantley had returned, but when I turned, I saw Cassie in the doorway.

“I’m not going to tell anyone anything,” Liz said, staring down at her blankets. “You don’t have to worry.”

Cassie nodded and dropped her gaze to the floor for a minute. “I g-get it.”

Liz exhaled, pressing her head into the pillow and looking toward the window. “You get what?”

“Wanting to hide everything that’s wrong.” Cassie looked at me, then down at Liz. Her hands clenched and unclenched repeatedly at her sides. “B-because of how p-people might react.”

Liz’s mouth twitched and she shook he head. I nodded to Cassie, encouraging her on. Stacey told me how helping other women helped her cope with her own doubts and fears. Even if Cassie couldn’t get through to Liz—and I hoped she could—it might help her move on as well.

Cassie took another tentative step forward. “I have PTSD, s-severe depression, social anxiety, and a d-damn stutter to top it all off. You saw the v-videos or at least know about them, but what you d-don’t know is that I went home afterward and swallowed a handful of sleeping pills. I have n-no idea why. I don’t have a clear understanding of why I did any of it. It’s all j-jumbled up like that part of my b-brain was put through a food processor.”

Liz was quiet while Cassie talked, she didn’t even move.

“You still have a lot of people who care about you,” Cassie said. “Now’s not the time to push them all away.”

“Now, I’m getting lectured by a stranger,” Liz said.

“And you should listen,” Brantley said, stepping into the room. He stood slightly behind Cassie and squeezed her shoulder.

“What are you doing here, Lee?”

“I’ve been here most of the afternoon. I was here yesterday, too. You, uh,” he paused and cocked his head. “Told me to go jump off a bridge once.”

Liz laid her forearm over her eyes.

“Lizzy, we want to help,” Brantley said.

“There’s not much you can do,” she mumbled. Her words lost their rough edges and slurred together. “It’s all chemical craziness. I need my meds fixed, and then I’ll be fine.”

“You could talk to us,” I said, leaning against the railing. I’d said a lot of awful things to her, especially over the last couple of weeks. And as much as I regretted them, I regretted not having the ability to see what was happening—to understand it better. “Clue us in on what’s going on so we can try to support you.”

“I think you have a new girlfriend to worry about.”