Earthling Ambassador (14 page)

The princess woke with a start. She sat straight up in bed. “Who are you?” She rubbed her eyes. “And just WHAT are you doing in my bedroom?”

Nicola and Shimlara froze.Their eyes locked in mutual terror. Nicola's heart did a triple somersault. Shimlara's face was as pale as vanilla ice cream.

Somewhere in the distance, a cat meowed.

They heard Sean speaking in the room beneath them, his voice shaky and polite. “Okay, just relax, ah, Princess, and go back to sleep.You're dreaming.This is all just a weird, far-out dream.”

“I am NOT dreaming! I'm wide awake!” Princess Petronella threw back the covers of her bed to reveal an all-in-one yellow pajama suit. “I demand to know what you're doing here.Are you trying to
rob
me, you horrible boy? I'll have you beheaded!”

“Ah, Nic ... boss?” said Sean without looking up. “What would you like me to do here?”

The princess peered around suspiciously and then tilted her head toward the vent and caught sight of Nicola. “I know you! You're that whiny Earthling!”

“Oh dear,” said Nicola. Another cat meowed somewhere. Was the palace overrun with cats?

“Look, calm down, we're just trying to invite you to a party,” said Sean.

“I don't believe you. Nobody likes me. I never get invited to parties. Are you trying to kidnap me? Is that it?” demanded the princess.

Now there seemed to be a whole chorus of louder and louder meows.

“It's not real cats—it's the signal!” said Shimlara. “The guards must have seen us!”

“I don't like boys.” The princess shook her finger fiercely at Sean, who was still spinning over her bed. “You know what? I think I might have you tortured for a few weeks before I have your head sliced off!”

Sean's legs and arms spun wildly in different directions. “Nicola! Get me out of here!”

Glancing up, Nicola saw Tyler, Greta, and Katie all running toward them, shouting, “MEOW! ONE OF THE GUARDS ON THE GROUND SAW US! MEOW, MEOW!”

A bright yellow spotlight swept back and forth across the palace roof. Nicola made her decision.

“Grab her!” she called to Sean. “We're kidnapping her NOW!”

Sean didn't hesitate. He kicked his legs off the side of the princess's bedroom wall, swung hard toward her, and threw his arms around her waist. “GOT HER!”

The princess easily tore herself away from him. “You have NOT got me!”

“He's too short,” said Shimlara desperately. “He'll never do it.”

Sean made another grab for the princess, and this time the point in her tiara snagged itself in Sean's black sweater as she tried to wriggle away.

“OWWWW!” She twisted her head from side to side, but the tiara only got more tangled. Sean threw his arms and legs around the princess's back like a koala clinging to a tree.

“Okay, I've SORT of got her!” he yelled.

Nicola and Shimlara pulled on the rope, nearly falling over backward with the combined weight of the princess and Sean. Tyler, Greta, and Katie ran up and snatched the rope to help them pull.

The princess kicked and screamed like a wild animal and sunk her teeth into Sean's hand. “Augggh! Faster, faster!” screamed Sean.

“I don't remember this being part of the plan, Nicola!” shouted Greta.

“Oh, would you please SHUT UP, Greta!” Katie shouted back.Then she immediately felt guilty and said, “Please?”

The Space Brigade gave a final wrench on the ropes, and Sean and the princess tumbled out of the vent and onto the palace roof like two grappling football players. The princess's tiara was jerked free of Sean's sweater, leaving a gaping hole.

“GUARDS!” hollered the princess, scrambling to her feet and straightening her tiara. “I am being KIDNAPPED by disgusting, squidgy little Earthlings and one dreadful commoner!”

“Quickly! We need to tie her up and carry her to the helicopter!” ordered Nicola.

“GUARDS, you incompetent nincompoops! I order you to come and save me RIGHT NOW!”

Everybody tried their best to tie up the princess, running around her in circles as she swatted at them like flies and jumped up and down on the spot.

“Keep still!” cried Shimlara in frustration.

“Why should I keep still? You're trying to KIDNAP me!”

“Hypnotize her, Katie!” said Sean.

Looking terrified, Katie pulled off her necklace and began swinging it slowly back and forth. “Ummm . . . watch the necklace, please. Okay, now you're beginning to feel very sleepy.”

The princess grimaced down at her. “I am NOT feeling sleepy, you tiny twerp! I am very awake and very ANGRY!
Gshe-ghd-ash!
”

Greta had pulled a roll of masking tape from her backpack, ripped off a piece, jumped up on top of an emerald tower, and stuck the tape firmly over the princess's mouth.

“Good one, Greta,” said Sean.

The princess's eyes bulged.

“Got her hands!” said Tyler. He'd managed to tie the princess's hands together behind her back.

“Okay, let's get her to the helicopter,” said Nicola. They surrounded the princess and began pushing, shoving, and pulling her toward the helicopter. It was hard work because she was so much taller than all of them, apart from Shimlara.The princess didn't help matters by deciding on a new strategy of becoming limp and heavy like a bag of potatoes.

“We need to get her to move faster,” said Sean. “Look.”

They looked up to see dozens of helicopters circling above them.

“Lay down your weapons!” boomed a fierce voice.

“Ha ha! We can't—we don't have any!” Shimlara yelled back.

“No need to mention that,” said Tyler.

Sean sighed. “I
knew
we should have brought weaponry.”

They redoubled their efforts, frantically pushing the princess toward the helicopter.

“I wonder if she's ticklish,” said Tyler.

Nicola looked up at the princess and caught a tiny spark of fear in her eyes.

“TICKLE HER!” she shouted.

Everybody obeyed and the princess tried desperately to escape from all the tickling fingers. She ducked and weaved as if she were trying to win a dance competition.

“Tickle HARDER!” shouted Nicola. “Go get the helicopter started, Shimlara!”

Shimlara ran off, while Nicola, Tyler, Sean, Katie, and Greta vigorously tickled the princess. In her panic to evade their tickling, the princess actually
ran
straight to Shimlara's helicopter and threw herself in the door.The rest of them tumbled in behind her and Nicola shouted, “GO, GO, GO!” just as the first guard ran across the palace roof and grabbed hold of Greta's foot.

The helicopter took off straight and smooth into the dark sky. Below them they could see the guard holding Greta's school shoe, shaking his fist ferociously.

“He's got my shoe!” said Greta as if that were the most important thing to worry about at the moment.The guard tossed the shoe away and Greta yelled, “Excuse
me
! That shoe is part of the Honeyville Primary School uniform!”

“Shgished ugggh idddy Ed Ed Ed!”
The princess was making strange garbled sounds through her taped-up mouth.

“What do you think she's saying?” asked Katie.

“I think she's talking about how she's going to have all our heads cut off,” said Sean.

“Oh great,” said Katie.

Tyler had his face pressed to the back window of the helicopter. “They're chasing us!” he cried as dozens of helicopters with revolving red lights and shrieking sirens filled the sky around them.

Sean pulled the Camouflage Mode lever again. “Now they can't see us. Ha!”

“Mmmm,” said Shimlara. “Did I mention Camouflage Mode only works for five minutes at a time?”

“Ho!” mumbled the princess. Her eyes were triumphant above the masking tape.

The helicopter filled with red light as one of the guard's helicopters flew dangerously close to them.

“Can you fly faster?” asked Nicola.

“Well ...” Shimlara scratched her cheek nervously. “We could go to Super-Fast Mode, but the instruction book does warn against trying it until you're a very advanced flyer. I mean, I guess I'm getting
pretty
good at it—oopsie! Sorry, everybody!”

“Don't you even
think
about flying in Super-Fast Mode!” Greta rubbed her elbow crossly. “You'll kill us all!”

“But the guards will kill us all if we don't get away,” Tyler pointed out.

“Yeah, I'd rather Shimlara killed us,” said Sean.

“Actually, I think Shimlara's flying is improving all the time,” said Katie.

“It's your decision, Nicola,” said Shimlara.

“Ummmm . . .” Nicola's head ached from all this difficult decision-making.

Tyler looked at his watch. “We've got two minutes of Camouflage Mode left.”

Sean's hand hovered over the lever marked SUPER-FAST.

“Nic? Should I do it?”

Nicola looked out the window at one of the helicopters passing by.The guard sitting in the passenger seat was punching a black-gloved fist into the palm of his hand over and over. He looked like he was preparing to punch an Earthling.

“Yes. Do it,” said Nicola.

“You ready, Shim?” asked Sean.

“As ready as I'll ever be!”

Greta said, “This is the stupidest—”

Sean pulled the lever and the helicopter shot forward so fast that Shimlara's hands were thrown from the controls.

What have I done?
Nicola thought. All she could see through the window was a blurry streak of colors as they hurtled through the sky.

“It's okay!” Shimlara clutched the controls. “I've got it all under—” And suddenly the helicopter flipped over and everyone was shouting and screaming as they dangled upside down, held on only by their seat belts.

“DON'T WORRY!” yelled Shimlara, and to Nicola's surprise, she heard Katie laugh crazily.

With a jolt the helicopter tipped the right way up and they continued to zoom across the skyline.

“Okay, everybody, JUST HANG ON! We're coming in to land!”

Nicola gripped the sides of her seat.The helicopter nosedived toward the ground.They were all going to die and it would be Nicola's fault.

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, NICOLA!” yelled Greta.

“ISH MISH GFUG GLIG, GLIG, GLIG!”
That was the princess.

“WHOOOOEEE!” cried Sean.

“YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB, SHIMLARA!” screamed Katie.

“SWITCH BACK TO NORMAL SPEED!” cried Tyler.

And then there was silence.

Nicola opened her eyes. Her shoulder ached and she thought her knee might be bleeding, but otherwise she was definitely still alive.

“Is everybody alive?” she demanded.

“I am,” said Sean.

“So am I,” said Tyler.

“Me too,” said Katie.

“I'm fine,” said Shimlara. “Although my arm sort of hurts.”

“No thanks to you, but yes, I'm alive,” said Greta.

“Ishgo mishgo ed!”
said the princess.

“Where have we landed?” asked Nicola.

“WHAT IN THE GALAXY IS GOING ON HERE?”

It was Georgio's voice. Nicola could see him marching toward the helicopter. His hair was all mussed up and he was wearing bright green pajamas. Pajamas were so funny on Globagaskar. Georgio looked like a gigantic baby with a mustache.

“I think we might have landed right on top of Dad's aero-car.” Shimlara pressed a button to lift the dome of the helicopter. She was holding her right arm at a strange angle. “Hi, Dad.”

“Don't you ‘Hi, Dad' me! It's the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! I was sound asleep enjoying a particularly pleasant dream, when I heard this terrific bang on the driveway.We nearly jumped out of our skins!”

“I'm sorry, Georgio,” said Nicola. “It wasn't meant to work out this way.Things just got out of hand.”

Mully appeared behind Georgio, rubbing her eyes. Her pajamas were bright pink.

“Is everybody all right?” she asked. “I thought you were all sleeping nice and snug in your sleep-pouches! Nicola, your parents are going to be so angry with me. Shimlara, what have you done to your arm? It looks—OH MY STARS AND MOONS! Georgio, over there, it's—”

With one hand over her mouth, she nudged Georgio and pointed wordlessly at Princess Petronella sitting between Sean and Greta.

Georgio was still busy checking out the damage to his aero-car. “I mean, Bounce-a-Guard can only do so much,” he muttered as he squatted down and ran a finger across the paintwork. “It wasn't designed to have a helicopter full of wicked children landing smack-bang on top of it!”

“Georgio!” Mully tugged at the back of Georgio's pajamas and he stood up.

“What is it?” he said irritably.

Then he caught sight of Princess Petronella.

“Your Royal Highness,” he said respectfully, bowing deeply. “I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were along for the ride. Of course, if it was
your
decision to land smack-bang on my aero-car—”

“Ah, Georgio,” said Mully quietly. “I don't think it was her decision to be here at all.”

Finally Georgio seemed to notice that the princess had her hands tied behind her back and masking tape over her mouth.