Earthling Ambassador (15 page)

“Ish mgish ed, ed, ed!”
The princess's eyes blazed.

Georgio gulped and looked at Nicola. “You don't mean you've actually kidnapped Princess Petronella?”

“I tried to tell her it was a stupid idea!” said Greta. “Do you think I should take over as Earthling Ambassador now?”

“Oh,
do
be quiet, you dreadful child.” Georgio tried to smooth down his messed-up hair.

“The plan was to take the princess to Earth,” explained Nicola. “I wanted her to see how beautiful it was—I thought that might change her mind about turning it into a garbage can.”

Georgio's voice was clear and precise in Nicola's head:
This is risky because no doubt the princess is trying to read as many of our minds as she can, so I'll talk fast. Hopefully at least some of her attention is on trying to breathe through the gag, and that will distract her from what I'm about to say, which is that taking her to Earth isn't a bad idea. But I just need to work out the right things to say here. Obviously I can't be seen supporting your kidnapping her.
Aloud he said, “But
kidnapping
her! I'm sure if you had humbly asked the princess, she would have been delighted to accompany you!”

The princess shook her head vigorously.

“How were you planning to get to Earth?” asked Mully.

“We were going to ask Plum to fly us in Dad's spaceship,” said Shimlara.

“Well, the only tiny glitch in your plans is that Plum has borrowed my spaceship to go on a romantic intergalactic date with her boyfriend,” said Georgio. “Apparently I had to make up for spoiling her birthday.”

“Eeedghghhhhh!”
exclaimed the princess.

“Yes, indeed,Your Highness,” said Georgio. “I do understand you're in a hurry to get to Earth so you can make your final decision! We just need to work out your transport.”

“Gshhh issssh ridgy didge!”
The princess shook her head about maniacally.

“Is that tiara
superglued
to her head?” asked Sean.

Georgio nodded graciously as if he were at a tea party with the princess. “Yes, of course, it must seem highly unusual. However, let me assure you this is certainly
not
a kidnapping as it might appear, but simply an overly enthusiastic attempt by these sweet young Earthlings to introduce you to their planet! The tape across your mouth and the ropes are . . . ummm, an ancient Earthling custom symbolizing, erm, RESPECT! They simply indicate the fact that you don't need to say or do a thing! You can just sit back and relax because the whole trip is in their hands! Admittedly their hands are somewhat incompetent at times, but their planet is so charmingly backward that we can hardly hold that against them, now can we? Of course, if after inspecting Earth you still decide to destroy it, I'm sure these dear little Earthlings will be perfectly happy to accept your decision!”

“Huh?” said Sean. But he shut up when Greta elbowed him hard in the side.

The princess bounced up and down in frustration.
“OGALOG!”

“Yes, yes, Princess Petronella, I know you're growing impatient,” soothed Georgio. “I just can't quite think—”

Mully spoke up. “I have an idea,” she said.

“I think we should give Shimlara her Christmas present a bit early this year,” said Mully.

“Oh, no, don't ruin the surprise for her,” said Katie.

“It's okay if it's important for the mission,” said Shimlara nobly.

It turned out that Shimlara's Christmas present was a Mini Easy-Ride spaceship.

Tyler was flabbergasted. “You were getting a
spaceship
as a Christmas present. A
spaceship
!”

“Your father and I are too big to fit into a mini spaceship,” said Mully. “Otherwise we'd fly it back to Earth for you, considering the recent demonstration of your piloting skills. But desperate times call for desperate measures. And you've flown your friends' spaceships a few times, haven't you, darling?”

“Yes,” said Shimlara, but she looked pale and unhappy. “The only thing is—I think I've done something bad to my arm.”

“Oh,
Shimlara,
” said Mully, in exactly the same way Nicola's mom said, “Oh,
Nicola
,” whenever she hurt herself. She gently examined Shimlara's arm, shaking her head. “I think you might have broken it.We'll have to get an instant cast on it right away. Well, you're in no condition to fly—one of the others will have to do it.Which member of the Space Brigade do you recommend, Nicola?”

That was easy.

“Tyler,” said Nicola instantly.

“Hmmmph,” said Greta. “Talk about favoritism.”

“Although notice she doesn't favor her loving older brother,” said Sean.

Tyler stood soldier-straight, his eyes glittering and the tips of his ears—always a giveaway—glowing pink. “I'll give it a go,” he said.

“Of course, it is a
mini
spaceship,” said Georgio. “So it's very slow. It will take you five long, boring minutes to get to Earth, but the advantage is that it's very easy to operate—or so the brochures say!”

“Fortunately, the palace guards are not the most intelligent creatures,” said Mully. “So that should buy you a little time. And it's lucky Earth is such a large, populated planet.Tracking you down will be like looking for a needle in a haystack.”

“Sean left the invitation to the pool party in the princess's bedroom,” pointed out Greta. “If someone finds it, the guards will be heading straight to this address right now.”

“HA!” said the princess through her taped-up mouth.

“I can feel the most terrible migraine coming on,” said Georgio.

“Nicola, you need to get your people off this planet
right away
.” Mully spoke in a rapid, deadly serious tone of voice Nicola had never heard her use before. “Georgio, take Tyler to the spaceship and start going through the instruction manual with him. Katie, go with Shimlara and she'll show you where to find the first-aid kit. I'll be there to help you with the cast in just a moment. Greta, you can collect everybody's luggage. Sean, help the princess—
gently!—
along to the garage. Nicola, come with me into my study. I need to have a very quick chat with you.”

For a few seconds everybody stared in wonder at this new Mully. Even though she was still dressed in her funny pink pajamas, she seemed to be an entirely different sort of person.

“Mully was an officer in the Globagaskar Army when we first met,” explained Georgio. He beamed proudly at his wife. “Isn't she
impressive
?”

“MOVE IT, MOVE IT!” barked Mully, and everybody hurried to obey her.

Nicola followed Mully into her study.

As she shut the door, Mully turned back into a normal mom. “Is that knee hurting you too much, dear?”

Nicola looked down at her grazed knee. “No, it's fine.”

“I want to give you something,” said Mully. “During my army days, I was in charge of weapons purchasing for a while, and the weapon manufacturers keep sending me free samples, in spite of all the letters I send telling them to take me off their mailing lists. I think this particular weapon might come in handy.”

Mully pulled a silver briefcase from underneath her desk and placed it in front of Nicola. It had a round lock, like on a safe.

“The code is 55-77-99.” Mully swiftly twisted the dial. “Don't tell anybody else the code. I don't want anyone making the decision to use these weapons except you, Nicola.”

The lock clicked open and Mully lifted the lid. Nicola peered in, preparing herself not to flinch if she saw something horrible and scary, like guns or knives.

“Oh!” she said in surprise.

The case held a set of what looked like colorful tennis balls.They didn't look at all dangerous.

“They're freeze-grenades,” explained Mully. She lifted one of the balls out of the case and showed it to Nicola. “They're extremely effective weapons. I've set them especially for use against the palace guards. If you throw one at any guard within a five-meter radius, he or she will be frozen solid for ten minutes, giving you plenty of time to escape. Being frozen by a freeze-grenade is
not
a pleasant experience. It feels extremely cold and once the thawing begins, very itchy. By the time one can move again, one tends to be extremely upset and angry. So if the guards catch up with you on Earth, my advice is to throw the freeze-grenades, dump the princess, and run for your lives.”

“Right.” Nicola nodded, trying to look like a cool-headed army major, as if the words “run for your lives” didn't fill her with jelly-knee terror.

“Remember, the grenades are for emergency use only against the guards,” said Mully. “I recommend you do not tell your brother Sean about these, for obvious reasons.”

“He'd love to try them,” agreed Nicola.

“Well, I just hope you don't need them,” said Mully. “But I'll feel safer if I know you're armed in some way. Got all that?”

“Got it,” swallowed Nicola.

Mully snapped the case closed. “Don't forget.The code is 55-77-99.You won't forget it, will you?”

“55-77-99,” repeated Nicola. “I won't forget.”

“Georgio and I will be doing our best to stall the palace guards on Globagaskar for as long as we can,” said Mully. “We have it all worked out.We'll make it look like we have the princess in the aero-car. I'm going to call Molly Smith from the Save the Little Earthlings Committee. She has a daughter with red, curly hair just like the princess who fancies herself as an actress.We'll make a show of dragging her to the aero-car and taking off. Fortunately, I did aero-speed-driving as part of my army training, so I should be able to give them a run for their money before they realize they've been duped and come looking for you.”

Nicola was slightly in awe.To think she'd thought Mully was just an ordinary mom.Then again, maybe all ordinary moms revealed unexpected talents in times of crisis.

“Listen to me, Nicola,” continued Mully. Her voice was grave, her eyes flat and serious. “Kidnapping the princess is a very serious crime. If she chooses, she could have all of you thrown in jail.”

“She's threatened to have us beheaded.” Nicola hoped Mully would laugh in an “as if!” way, but she just looked more serious.

“Well, she could do that, too, if she wanted,” said Mully. “Georgio and I would also be punished for helping you—and so would all the other members of the Save the Little Earthlings Committee. So if you want to save your planet and all our lives, it's absolutely essential that you do one thing. It's the one thing I always hoped you'd achieve. It's the one thing I think will give us success.”

Nicola's fingers tightened around the handle of the briefcase.

“What's that?”

Mully bent all the way down from her huge height so she was at the same level as Nicola and could look her straight in the eyes.

“Welcome aboard, esteemed passengers! My name is Tyler Brown and I'll be your captain for today's journey.”

Tyler's voice was crackly and nervous over the spaceship's loudspeakers.

“Ah, Tyler, maybe we could skip that part,” suggested Nicola. Outside the spaceship she could see Mully and Georgio standing just to the side of the launch pad, looking anxious. Mully tapped her finger meaningfully on her watch.

Nicola said, “We're in a bit of a hurry.”

“Georgio told me to follow everything
exactly
as it's written in the instruction booklet,” said Tyler.

“Oh, all right,” said Nicola. “Just as fast as you can.” She didn't want to make him any more nervous than he already was.

She looked around the tiny spaceship, which was a miniature, prettier version of Georgio's. Everybody was strapped tightly into their passenger-pods.They each had at least one Band-Aid on a nasty cut or graze. Shimlara's arm was in a cast, supported by a sling. Everyone looked grim and quiet. Even the princess had stopped trying to talk and was resting her head against the spaceship wall, her eyes closed, her tiara still in place. Nicola wondered what she was thinking. It was going to be hard to become friends with her. Even Greta seemed like a friendly, easygoing person compared to Princess Petronella.

“Right.”Tyler squinted at the computer in front of him and began to type something slowly and painstakingly. “My destination planet is ... Earth.”

He turned around to Nicola.

“Where exactly on Earth should we go?”

Nicola could hear a clattering sound of approaching helicopters in the distance. Someone must have found the invitation.The guards were on their way.

“Um, just put Australia,” she said hurriedly.

“A-u-s ...” Tyler punched in the letters one by one.

“HURRY UP!” exploded Greta.

“Leave him alone,” said Shimlara. “He's never done this before.”

“Esteemed passengers, please fasten your seat belts and prepare for blastoff,” said Tyler into the microphone.

Nicola glanced out the spaceship window and saw Georgio leaping about like a furious orangutan and mouthing the words, “GO, GO!”

“Tyler,” said Nicola. “This is a direct order. I'm ordering you to blast off NOW.”

“Yes,
sir
!” said Tyler, and he banged one fist hard on a large red button.

There was a roaring sound and the spaceship filled with orange light. Outside, Mully and Georgio shielded their faces from the heat of the flames.