Earthling Ambassador (9 page)

“But don't worry if you can't do it,” said her mother quickly. “Remember, it's not about winning, it's just about trying your best. It really doesn't matter if you don't succeed.”

Nicola's dad scratched the side of his face and spoke through the side of his mouth. “Ah, it sort of
does
matter, darling. Apparently the whole world is depending on her.”

“Well,” said her mother vaguely. “But more importantly, Nicola, what are you doing about
clean underwear
? I mean, we didn't have a chance to pack a bag for you!”

“Yo, Nic.” Her brother, Sean, had wandered into the kitchen. He lifted a casual hand in greeting as if he made interplanetary phone calls to her every day and took a big swig from a bottle of soft drink.Then he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and sat down on a chair, putting his feet on the table. “How's it going? Have they figured out yet that they messed up big-time and they should have sent
me
? What's this top secret mission all about, anyway? Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.”

Suddenly a man wearing a dark suit, sunglasses, and an earpiece appeared in the kitchen and put his hands flat across the screen.

“Security breach, security breach,” he said. “No requests for details of the mission! We're shutting you down.”

“Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! Bye, Sean!” shouted Nicola trying to see her family through the man's pudgy fingers.

“EAT SOME SARDINES BEFORE YOUR MISSION!” cried her mother. “And don't forget to say ‘THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME'!”

“DON'T LET ANYBODY PUSH YOU AROUND!” called her father. “Remember you're BOB BERRY'S DAUGHTER and you can DO ANYTHING!”

“SHOOT TO KILL, NIC!” yelled Sean.

The screen went fuzzy.

“Oh,” said Nicola sadly. “They're gone.”

Right then, she could think of nothing more wonderful than to be home in her own kitchen with her mom, dad, Sean, and that wrinkled ordinary old apple.

Mully put her arm around Nicola's shoulders.

“It sounds to me like you've got a lovely supportive family,” she said. “Although I really wouldn't recommend you
kill
Princess Petronella—that's just my little tip. Now,

I had a nice chat with your mom before you got on the phone and I've had the Telepathy Chef prepare a wonderful breakfast for you—sardine cereal with sardine milk and a nice tall glass of sardine juice! Nicola, what is it? Are you okay? Your face has turned bright green.”

“Your appointment at the palace is at ten o'clock, so we should be there in
plenty
of time.” Georgio turned the keys in the ignition of his aero-car. “I've allowed twenty minutes to get there, twenty minutes for traffic, twenty minutes in case the car breaks down and we have to hail an aero-cab, twenty minutes in case something goes wrong, twenty minutes in case something
else
goes wrong, and another ten minutes just to be on the safe side. Oh dear, I do hope we're not late!”

“I'm sure we're going to be very early,” said Nicola. It seemed like Georgio was even more nervous than she.

“Oh yes! No need to get yourself worked up, Nicola,” said Georgio. “I've allowed plenty of time for us to get there.You just try to relax.”

Nicola sucked on one of the cake-pops that Shimlara had given her to take away the taste of her sardine-flavored breakfast. It was a lollipop that looked like a miniature chocolate mud cake and tasted like one, too. It made her feel much better.

Nicola smoothed her hands over her skirt and wondered if she was dressed appropriately.The Wardrobewhizonic Ladies had been around to help her get dressed for her meeting with Princess Petronella, and there had been a lot of arguments over how she should be dressed. Mully thought she should still be dressed like a princess, in a similar dress to the day before. Georgio thought she should be dressed like a professional ambassador in a crisp dark suit with a string of pearls and a clipboard. Shimlara thought Nicola should look tough and scary, with a pierced nose and eyebrow and lots of black eyeliner, so that Princess Petronella would be intimidated into doing whatever Nicola wanted.

In the end the Wardrobewhizonics had come up with a combination of all three. Nicola was wearing combat boots and a ripped denim skirt, a long-sleeved white shirt done up in a knot at her waist, her countdown watch, a string of pearls, and tiny sparkly diamond clips all through her hair, and she was carrying a leather-bound clipboard.

“Perfect!” Shimlara had said. “You look like a tough, funky, businesslike Earthling princess.”

But Nicola quickly forgot all about her outfit as she suddenly experienced the strange sensation of a car lifting straight into the air. She looked out the window and saw they were about ten feet above the ground.

There was no steering wheel in the aero-car. Instead Georgio sat behind a computer screen and tapped it every now and then with his fingertip.

“Left!” he muttered. “I tapped left—why are you going right?”

The car skimmed gently along without the bother of traffic lights or stop signs.They turned a corner and suddenly a yellow aero-car appeared from nowhere.

“KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE AIR-ROAD, BOOFHEAD!” shouted Georgio, but the yellow car slammed straight into theirs.

Nicola threw her hands over her face and waited for the terrible jolt. She'd never been in a car accident before and she suspected it would hurt, but the yellow car just bounced gently off them like a rubber ball, and the driver of the yellow car, a woman with a bright red flower behind her ear, grinned and shook her finger at Georgio as she flew past them.

“Isn't your car damaged?” asked Nicola.

“All our cars are made from Bounce-a-Guard,” explained Georgio. “If we run into someone we just bounce off each other. Not a scratch, except to our pride! I do wonder why your planet is still making cars from that dreadful hard steel and glass and the like—then you get so upset and surprised when people are hurt in car accidents!”

“I don't think that bouncy stuff has been invented on Earth yet,” said Nicola.

“Oh, I see,” said Georgio. “Well, don't worry, I'm sure you'll catch up soon.”

Nicola looked out the window of the car. Globagaskar was an amazing planet. Colorful aero-cars glided silently back and forth—no noise, no exhaust fumes, and apparently no accidents! The two cherry suns shone their cherry rays on the shimmering houses and children frolicked on the neat, orderly streets. Exotic birds soared through the sky, and in the distance Nicola caught a glimpse of colossal snowcapped mountain ranges.

Was
everything
about Globagaskar better than poor old Earth?

“Certainly not!” said Georgio. “I am sorry for reading your mind, Nicola, but you were thinking so loudly just then, I couldn't help myself.That's not the right attitude at all! Earth is a
beautiful
planet! I know I sometimes show off about how technologically advanced we are, but that doesn't mean you don't have one of the loveliest planets in the galaxy.You've got lots of things that we don't have.”

“Like what?” asked Nicola.

“Like oceans,” answered Georgio promptly. “We might have two moons and two suns, but we don't have a single ocean, whereas you've got five beautiful, astonishing oceans. You even get to swim in them, I believe?”

“That's true,” said Nicola, thinking of her summer vacation on Buddy Beach.

“And you've got such funny animals! Like the elephant, with its long trunk and big ears. And the kangaroo with its funny pouch. Oh, and what are they called? Flutterbys? No, that's not it. Butterflies! I love butterflies!”

“You don't have
butterflies
?” asked Nicola.

“No—not one.”

“Gosh,” said Nicola.

“So you go in there and you
fight
for your planet!” said Georgio. “You tell that Princess Petronella to leave your planet alone!”

“I WILL!” cried Nicola, punching a fist in the air. At that moment she felt like she could do anything. She didn't even feel nervous anymore.

“And could you do me a favor?” asked Georgio.

“Of course,” said Nicola.

“Please don't tell Shimlara or Mully that I read your mind again.”

“I won't,” said Nicola graciously.

“Take a look.You can start seeing the palace from here.” Georgio pointed to the top of the hill.

Nicola looked up.

Her heart pounded and all her nerves came rushing back like thousands of tiny ants scurrying over her skin.

“Oh . . .
wow
,” she said in a hushed voice.

She'd never seen anything like it.

Now Nicola understood why it was called the Rainbow Palace. It was a huge, majestic building built entirely of boulder-size gemstones like rubies, diamonds, sapphires, and emeralds.The cherry sunlight shining on the jewels created thousands of shimmering rainbows so that the castle was a kaleidoscope of glittering, glimmering color.

The spires and turrets of the palace rose high and proud in the sky. Orderly rows of angry-looking guards stood stiffly at attention with their arms folded across muscular chests.

Georgio cleared his throat. “Granted, it is somewhat imposing, but there's no need to feel apprehensive. Just think of it as going to a friend's house!”

“None of my friends live in places like this!” said Nicola, thinking of Katie's messy red brick house with kids' bikes and toys lying all over the front yard.

“Hmmm, yes, certainly none of my friends live in places like this, either,” admitted Georgio. “May I suggest you take a few deep breaths to calm yourself—in through your nostrils, out through your mouth.”

Nicola followed his suggestion as Georgio steered the aero-car toward the gigantic iron gates outside the palace.

“Now, you've got your appointment card and your gift?” asked Georgio as he lowered the car to ground level.

“Yep,” said Nicola.The gift-wrapped globe of the Earth was in her backpack and the huge appointment card was sitting on her lap.

“Well, Nicola,” said Georgio. “I'm afraid you're on your own from here. I wish you the very best of luck. I think you're going to do a fine job of representing your planet.”

He shook Nicola's hand solemnly. “I'll be waiting outside the gate for you.”

“Thank you, Georgio.”

She put her hand on the aero-car door handle, and for a second she felt so nervous she couldn't move.What if she was permanently paralyzed and stuck sitting in this car with her hand on the door handle for the rest of her life, while Earth was turned into a garbage can?

“You'd probably move when you got hungry,” said Georgio.

“Stop reading my mind! It's bad manners!” snapped Nicola, and all at once she could move again. She pushed down the door handle and hopped out of the car with her head held high.

Grinning widely, Georgio gave her a thumbs-up sign and his car rose gently into the air and flew away. Nicola was alone on a strange planet, standing in front of an enormous glittering palace, and she was about to meet a scary princess and try to convince her to change her mind. It was phenomenally preposterous.

“Well, get on with it!” she said to herself in a voice just like Mrs. Zucchini's, and she walked up to one of the enormous guards.

“Excuse me,” she said politely.

The guard didn't move. Nicola was at eye level with his enormous black-clad knees. She realized that the guard probably couldn't hear her.

“EXCUSE ME!” she hollered.

The knees slowly bent and a face appeared in front of her. It wasn't a man. It was a woman with gentle brown eyes and wavy hair. She actually looked a little like Nicola's great-aunt Annie from Adelaide.

“Well, hello, aren't you the cutest little thing!” exclaimed the guard, as if Nicola was an adorable baby in a stroller.

It wasn't quite the greeting Nicola was expecting. “Thank you,” she said cautiously. “I have an appointment with Princess Petronella.” She held up her gold appointment card.

“Let's have a look at that,” said the guard, barely glancing at it. “Are you from another planet, sweetie-pie? Is that why you're so tiny? Why, I could pop you straight into my pocket!”

“I'm from Earth,” said Nicola.

“Ooh, an Earthling!” said the guard. “I've heard about your darling little planet. My, you're serious, for such an itty-bitty thing! You're so delicious, I could eat you up!”

Nicola looked alarmed and the guard giggled. “There, there, I'm just joking, sweetie. I wouldn't eat you, but I sure would love to take you home and dress you up in teeny-weeny dresses!”

Nicola said firmly, “I don't want to be late for my appointment with the princess.”

“Ooh, no time to chat!” said the guard. “Don't you worry, poppet. In you go. Good luck!”

She pushed a button and the iron gates slid open while a giant drawbridge slowly lowered itself across the moat.

“Thank you,” said Nicola.

“That's my pleasure.”The guard ruffled Nicola's hair and pinched her cheek. Nicola couldn't remember being treated this way since she was about four years old and her grandma came to visit.
Even then
, Nicola thought,
she was too grown-up for it
. . .

But the upside was that Nicola felt so irritated by the guard that she forgot to be nervous, and she walked briskly across the bridge and through a sapphire-encrusted archway.

Another guard, this one fat and red-faced, grabbed her card from her fingertips and said in a rushed bored voice, “You're number 4948, please take a seat and wait for your number to be called! NEEEXT!”Then he took a gigantic rubber stamp, leaned down, and pressed it hard against her forehead.