E for England (32 page)

‘What about you? They weren't even supposed to have been there. It was pretty obvious they didn't want kids at their afternoon tea.'

‘I hope I don't lose my job over this.'

‘I hate those people,' said Mattie. ‘That lady was horrible to us.'

‘Mattie, don't be rude,' said Annie.

‘You need to learn how to behave,' said Kevin. ‘Both of you. And if you hadn't been running around like a couple of hooligans you wouldn't have hurt your arm and knocked over Mrs Tait.'

‘She didn't fall over, I did,' said Floss.

‘You were lucky she didn't fall over and hurt herself or you'd be in even bigger trouble right now.'

Floss started wailing again.

‘This is all your fault, Annie,' Kevin hissed. ‘You deliberately let them run wild and make a bad impression.'

‘I did not.'

‘You promised you'd keep them under control.'

‘They were bored. There was absolutely nothing for them to do and we had to virtually beg Thelma for a glass of water.'

Kevin twisted round to glare into the back seat. ‘All you had to do was behave for a couple of hours. Is that too much to ask?'

‘Sorry,' Mattie said.

‘Don't speak. I'm too angry.' He turned back to the front, jaw clenched.

‘He just apologised,' said Annie indignantly.

‘That includes you.'

Annie clenched her jaw and drove. The car seethed with enough unexpressed emotion to blast all the windows out. When they'd emerged from the Harbour Tunnel twenty toxic minutes later she said, ‘I'll drop you and Mattie at home and take Floss to Emergency for an X-ray.'

Annie tucked an exhausted little girl into bed at ten that night. No broken bones, thank goodness, but a badly bruised and swollen wrist. She peeped in on sleeping Mattie. Kevin was watching television. He turned the sound down and looked at her with a blank, closed face. Blame. Her fault.

‘Is she all right?'

‘Yes.'

‘I'm really furious about this, Annie.'

Annie drew a deep breath. Her stomach ached with hunger. Floss had eaten half a sausage roll but couldn't manage much else while they waited on uncomfortable plastic chairs to see first a doctor, then for the X-ray, and then the doctor again. Annie couldn't eat at all. Her stomach was in knots. She drank foul tasting coffee out of a cardboard cup and wished she'd never agreed to go that afternoon. This was her fault, not for allowing the children to run wild but for going in the first place. Kevin's reaction had shown up just how far apart they were. Was this arrangement going to work for much longer? Those thinly papered over cracks were reappearing as giant crevasses.

‘So I see.'

‘Is that all you have to say?'

‘What do you want me to say?'

‘You could apologise for starters.'

‘What for? Our children being children? I think you owe us an apology for dragging us along there where we weren't wanted. Thelma didn't even invite the children. You saw the look on her face. Why did you insist we all go?'

He waved his arms in the air. ‘I didn't know. Do you think I'd have taken them if I'd known that?'

Annie slumped onto a chair and closed her eyes.

‘I don't know, Kevin. I don't know any more what you think but I'll tell you what I think.' Her stomach gurgled. If she didn't eat she'd collapse. She opened her eyes and heaved herself to her feet. ‘I think you're trying so hard to pretend you're straight to those people you've lost track of what's important.'

‘And what's that?'

‘Your kids! They don't care if you're gay; they've no idea what that even means. I don't care either, I really don't, but I do care when you use us like that to try to impress people, or whatever that was all about. How do you know what they'll think anyway? Stand up for yourself.' Annie stopped, glaring down at him. ‘I've had it. I need food.'

She reached the door before he said in a subdued voice. ‘Annie? I'm sorry.' She stopped and half turned, saw the man she'd loved all those years ago, offered a tiny smile, took him at his word.

‘There's some stir fry left,' he said.

‘Okay. Goodnight.'

The television came back on.

The fishing expedition wasn't high on Annie's list of fun things to do on a Sunday morning, but she walked with Leonie along the beach towards the jumble of rocks beneath the headland, which Edward and Kevin said were their best bet to catch dinner. The men and the two kids trailed behind laden with fishing gear.

Hugh had seemed preoccupied when he greeted her, and looked as enthusiastic as she was about spending a morning with Edward and Kevin. She tried not to let on how ridiculously pleased she was to see him, but she could have thrown her arms around him and planted a big smoochy kiss and he probably wouldn't have noticed.

‘I filled in E For England,' Leonie said.

Annie raised an interrogative eyebrow. Had she managed to seduce James? If that were the case, how long would it last? Leonie's track record was not good. One-night stands were her specialty.

‘James?'

Leonie shook her head. ‘Friday night. Big mistake.'

‘Oh, Leonie.' What could she say? This was Leonie reverting to type. ‘Does James know?'

‘No.'

Annie groaned. ‘What a state we're in. Both of us.'

‘Problems?' Leonie jerked her head in the direction of the men.

‘Not really. We're neither one thing nor the other — Kevin and me, I mean. I guess we'll sort it out slowly.' Leonie wasn't fooled, of course, but she refrained from ‘I told you so'.

‘How's Floss?'

‘The swelling's gone down and she has a beautiful bruise but she can't use her wrist properly yet.'

‘Poor little poppet.'

‘She wasn't exactly behaving herself. Thelma Bates sent her a Get Well card.'

Leonie laughed. ‘Gosh, that's surprising after what you told me.'

‘Amazing, more like it. I had to take back everything I thought about her.'

They reached the rocks and stopped. Edward forged by and clambered up onto the first rocky shelf, juggling rods, a kitbag and two buckets. Seagulls squawked overhead hopeful of a snack.

‘It's slippery so be careful,' he said.

‘Maybe we should wait here with Floss and Mattie,' said Annie.

‘Noooooo.' Mattie scrambled up with a hand from Kevin. James pulled Leonie up.

‘Hold Daddy's hand,' called Annie.

‘They'll be okay. We'll watch them.' Hugh came to stand beside her. James and Leonie were already picking their way after Edward. Hugh scooped up Floss and lifted her onto the rocks. He stepped up and extended his hand to Annie with a smile. With Floss's good hand safely in hers, Annie followed Hugh.

Edward was right, the rocks were wet and slippery from spray. The swell was high this morning and big waves crashed against the headland farther along, where the cliffs dropped steeply down onto a mass of boulders. A flatter, more level ledge jutted out into the ocean. Edward moved slowly across, followed by James and Leonie holding hands tightly. Kevin and Mattie brought up the rear.

‘Gosh those waves are big. Do you think it's safe?'

‘He's heading for that.' Hugh pointed to an area less pounded by waves. The ledge rose at the water's edge and sat about four metres above the highest of the waves. ‘Until the tide finishes coming in it'll be fine.'

Annie eyed the ledge with suspicion. It didn't look safe to her. High tide was in a couple of hours. ‘I think we'll stay here, Floss. We can look for crabs and things in the rock pools.'

She dumped her bag on a rock and sat down next to it. The sun crawled out from behind a cloudbank, brightening the morning. Floss wandered a few metres away, squatted down and peered into a pool, dabbling her fingers in the water.

‘Watch Mattie, Hugh. Please?'

Hugh, surprised, said, ‘His dad's there.'

‘I know but you watch him, too.'

‘He'll be fine.' Why would she think he could look out for her son better than his own father? He who had failed so dismally as a carer before.

‘Come on, Hugh,' yelled James.

Hugh waved. He'd prefer to sit in the sun with Annie and play with Floss, show her things in the rock pools, chat, laugh with them. Just be with Annie.

‘Are you okay?' She was looking up at him, smiling, eyebrows raised.

He swallowed, rubbed his lips together, tasted salt. ‘I miss you,' he said softly. ‘Too much.'

For a long moment she stared, didn't respond, didn't react. Formulating a way to tell him she couldn't change her situation, not now when they were resuming life as a family, unconventional though that may be.

‘Hugh! Hurry up.'

He threw her an apologetic smile and turned to stride away. Of all the cretinous things to say. He'd embarrassed her, that much was obvious. She wanted a friend not a complication.

Edward handed him a rod and told him where to stand and what to do. Hugh concentrated hard and followed the instructions. He swung his arm and with a flick of his wrist the line whooshed out over the swirling, heaving deep blue of the sea.

‘Not bad,' said Edward and moved away to oversee James, who was kissing Leonie yet again. That relationship, now measurable in weeks, was one of the longest in James' history and without a doubt Leonie's as well. He hoped for both their sakes it lasted. If that turned to mud the fallout would be catastrophic.

He glanced over his shoulder to where Annie sat on her rock staring out into the distance. If only he could resolve his own love-life. And now there was that bloody awful article in the paper today about hospital negligence, listing a variety of cases where patients had been misdiagnosed and died or had the wrong operations. He wasn't actually named but the hospital was and so was Lester Fuller. His sister was quoted in great detail. Hugh's no comment comments were attributed to a resident specialist and it wouldn't take anyone who cared long to figure out who that was. Bloody hell!

Gradually the fresh sea air, the screech of gulls, the rhythmic crash of water on rock and the hypnotic rise and fall of the waves exerted a soporific effect, slowing his brain, lowering his heart rate. He drew in deep lung cleansing breaths, exhaling the accumulated stress and tension. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday morning after all.

Forty minutes later he'd caught nothing but James had two reasonable sized fish wriggling in his bucket of seawater and Kevin had three in his.

‘Nearly enough for dinner.' Leonie clapped as James threw his line out again.

‘I don't like fish,' said Mattie. He'd been alternating sitting next to his father and running back to Annie and Floss, but wandered over to Leonie and peered into the bucket.

‘You should try these. You won't get anything fresher,' said Edward.

‘Fish and chips,' said Leonie. ‘I know you like chips, pumpkin.'

Mattie nodded. ‘But I like chicken and chips.'

‘You have to learn to try something new,' said Kevin. ‘Mummy's been too soft on you.'

Hugh glanced at Leonie and saw the flash of anger she couldn't hide. She caught his eye and pulled a quick face. He grinned and turned away. A brisk breeze tugged at his jacket.

‘The wind's picking up,' he said. The tide was coming in, too. Spray splashed onto their feet and legs, and every now and again one of the bigger waves almost reached the top of the ledge they were on.

‘We'll move along a bit,' said Edward. He reeled in his line and walked a few metres to the left onto a slightly higher outcrop.

Kevin followed suit. ‘Bring the bucket Mattie, please.'

Mattie grabbed the handle with both hands and managed to lift the heavy bucket an inch or two off the ground.

‘I'll take it.' Leonie grabbed the handle and helped him. ‘It's easier to climb up over here.' She moved closer to the edge. ‘Hold my hand.'

‘Be careful, honey,' called James. ‘Hey, I think I've got another one.'

Leonie stopped and turned just as an extra large wave burst over the lip of the rocks. One moment she and Mattie were there, the next they'd disappeared in a flurry of foam. Hugh fought to keep his feet in the surge of water, knee-deep and sucking him relentlessly towards the edge. He dimly heard a scream, saw James struggling, dropped his hold on the fishing rod.

Mattie! Where was Mattie? The wave receded as fast as it rose up. Hugh straightened and ran to the rocky edge. Leonie's red shirt topped by a mass of blonde hair bobbed offshore. She trod water frantically, fighting the pull of the waves threatening to smash her against the rocks. James threw off his jacket took two steps and dived in.

‘James!' Oh Christ! He needed help. Hugh flung off his own coat and shoes, waited for the swell to rise and dived in after him. Cold water closed over his head, the weight of his clothes pulled him down and down but he struck out strongly and came up with bursting lungs. A surge sent him perilously close to the rocks underwater, too close, jagged and harsh, ripping at his hand as he pushed away. James was two metres to his right swimming for Leonie. Where was Mattie?

Leonie screamed something and waved her arm, trying to point. Hugh fought the next big wave, felt his leg scrape against rock, but when he surfaced Mattie was grabbing desperately at a pile of boulders several metres offshore. Currents swirled him around dragging away from his goal then hurling him close with such force he couldn't get a grip. His mouth opened and closed but the roaring of the surf swallowed any cries.

Hugh swam hard against the incoming swell then, just as he reached Mattie, his feet touched an underwater ledge. He grabbed at Mattie's coat, missed. Salt stung his hands and red trailed into the water but his feet supported his weight and he was able to make a fingerhold on the boulder and lunge again as Mattie was flung by. This time his fingers scraped fabric and locked on. Mattie grabbed his arm.