e (69 page)

It’s every bit as bad as we feared. They’ve made us all look shallow, conniving and driven by lust – in short, like we work in advertising. Brett and Vince come out especially badly. I’d suggest to them that they might like to seek the advice of counsel.

The worst thing was seeing Jeremy Paxman holding up the front
page at the end of
Newsnight.
That supercilious smirk is all very well until he applies it to you.

There is nothing more you can do, save keeping lips zipped and getting on with the job in hand. I’ll fax the story through to you first thing. Until then, sweet dreams.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 1:42am
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	READ ALL ABOUT IT!

I’ve cabbed like fuck back from the
Sun
to get this story to you but it’s too big to fax and the scanner’s down so can’t e it. So I’ve reproduced the highlights using all the keyboard skills at my disposal. Enjoy your fifteen mins:

SCORCHING SUN EXCLUSIVE

By HARRY SALTER in Mauritius and KEENAN WILKIE in London

The paradise island of Mauritius was rocked yesterday when Ivana Trump, the former wife of Donald Trump, the American
property tycoon and presidential hopeful, was the victim of an unprovoked sex attack in front of dozens of witnesses.

The exotic blonde was holidaying at the island’s exclusive le Touessrok Hotel. Her peace and quiet was shattered when Frank Sinton, a top executive at the LOVE Channel, the cable porn station, crept up from behind and made his move.

Boob

Maureen Pearson, a British tourist who eyewitnessed the attack, said: “It was disgusting. The poor woman was lying on the beach minding her own business when the slimeball just lunged. He tried to grab her boob, plain as day.” Mrs. Pearson, who owns a beauty salon in Wigan, had her camera handy and her pictures (on pages 2, 3, 4 and 5) show the sordid assault in full.

The balding Sinton claimed the charges were trumped up and said: “It was a harmless prank. I thought she was someone else and that’s all there is to it. F*** off and leave me alone.”

Ivana Trump was too distraught to comment.

Lesbian

Sinton, 34, is in Mauritius to shoot a new TV ad for LOVE. It will feature busty
topless
models, simulated
lesbian
orgies and a 3ft
inflatable
fish. Vince Douglas, in Mauritius as creative supremo of Miller Shanks, the top London ad agency responsible for the commercial, said: “Basically it’s a bunch of sexed-up dykes having a laugh on the beach. It will be dead tasteful.” Brett Topowlski, Douglas’s deputy, added: “It’s just a bit of harmless fun. It’s gagging with top birds though.”

Fondle

Of the sex attack, Douglas, 21, who drives a Ferrari and earns in excess of £250,000 a year, said: “Frank runs a porn channel. That’s bound to get the trousers twitching, if you get my drift. It stands to reason that if he sees a chance of a quick fondle, he’s going to give it rock all. Especially if the bird’s a rich celebrity. They’re all perverts at LOVE.”

In London, David Crutton, Miller Shanks’ Chief Executive, said: “Until we know all the facts we cannot comment. However, if an assault
did take place then we would deplore it and would support the forces of law in any action they undertook.”

Monty Sadler, Controller of LOVE TV, was not available for comment.

Fit

Anthony Burke-Johnson, Tory MP and Chairman of the Clean Our Screens campaign, said: “I have been trying to get filth like the LOVE Channel off the air for years. If its executives are rampaging around grabbing any poor lady that takes their fancy, then they are not fit to run a TV channel.”

There’s more:

THE SUN SAYS

Smut peddlers, the game is up

It’s one thing for the porn merchants at the LOVE Channel to fill our screens with filth. It’s another when their employees act out their sordid fantasies on a public beach. They have ducked and dived to defend themselves in the past. Now they stand condemned by Vince Douglas of their own advertising agency:
“They’re all perverts at LOVE.”
We at the Sun say “here, here.” It is time that the broadcasting watchdogs showed their teeth.
Take this poisonous bile out of our living rooms
.

Trump that!

We are a family newspaper and would never condone the kind of sex attack suffered by Ivana Trump yesterday. But we are delighted that this glamorous blonde is making a stand for the mature woman. Our exclusive pictures on pages 2, 3, 4 and 5 prove that getting on needn’t mean getting dowdy.
Good on yer, Ivana. We’d pinch your bum any day of the week!

There are some great shots. My fave is you in your mud mask and Vin with his dick out for the lasses. They’ve done the decent thing and stuck a black bar across it – nearly went as far as his knee. Tell him it’s one for his Mum’s scrapbook. Hate to say it but I think you’re in some serious shit here. Get a lawyer quick.

Great result on the script by the way. Enjoy shooting it – could be the last one you ever do.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 3:01am (7:01am local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Doesn’t look good, does it? Vin is shitting himself. He can’t remember what he said, but he has a horrible feeling they left out the worst bits. Haven’t seen Horne yet, but I’m sure the smug twat will find us soon enough. Just showed Mel your e and all she could say was, “Oh no, you didn’t say that. Oh no . . .” I told Vin to look on the bright side – at least they made his knob look big.

The other bad news is that we’ve woken up to half a hurricane. We won’t be shooting a bloody thing today. I want my mummy.

	David Crutton – 1/13/00, 8:02am
to:	Zoë Clarke
cc:
re:	Rachel Stevenson

The moment she arrives have her come and see me. I’m in the mood for firing today.

	Zoë Clarke – 1/13/00, 8:04am
to:	Lorraine Pallister
cc:
re:	fuck, fuck, fuck!!

David’s just said he’s firing people today!!!!!!!!! What shall I do!!!!!!!!! If I go home sick now he won’t be able to do it, will he?

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 8:48am
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	LOVE

Top of the morning to you.

On my way in to the office I grabbed the
Sun
’s late edition, which thankfully contained no new revelations. Naturally, the other tabloids picked up on the scoop, but none of them has anything lurid to add.

Having slept on it, I think this doesn’t look too bad for you. You have some “surgery” to do, but once you have excised the “diseased part” of your
body corporate
I think you will be home free. It will come as no surprise to you that I refer here to Mr. Douglas. His mouth has got you into hot water. I recommend you do the following:

Check his contract where I am sure you will find a standard clause forbidding unauthorised utterances to the press. Assuming it is in there, you have all the grounds you need for summary dismissal.

Make your disassociation from him as public as possible. Make it absolutely clear to anyone who will listen that conduct like Mr. Douglas’s will not be tolerated at Miller Shanks.

Issue a written “without prejudice” apology to the LOVE Channel and hope they decide not to sue for Mr. Douglas’s libel. My guess is that they will not. They will wish this story to die an early death.