e (28 page)

Authors: Matt Beaumont

BOOK: e

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Rachel, thank you for pointing out Ken Perry’s impeccable work record to me earlier. It is something that was overlooked completely when he was de-hired yesterday. I must accept full responsibility for this careless administrative error.

Could you please see to it that Ken is offered his old job back immediately with an apology made on behalf of the company. A small pay-raise (say 3k?) may also be in order. Please take this from my departmental budget.

Daniel Westbrooke

Head of Client Services

	Rachel Stevenson – 1/6/00, 10:59am
to:	Daniel Westbrooke
cc:
re:	Ken Perry

He says make it 5k and a parking space and he’ll be at his desk tomorrow.

	Daniel Westbrooke – 1/6/00, 11:08am
to:	Rachel Stevenson
cc:
re:	Ken Perry

If that is the price for an office that functions, so be it. Can I take it that my reward will appear in the form of a high-quality permanent secretary to greet me upon my return from babysitting my client in Mauritius?

	Simon Horne – 1/6/00, 11:14am
to:	Susi Judge-Davis
cc:
re:	refreshment

Could you be a darling and fetch a large pot of
caffeinated
coffee right away? I am now ready to deal with the hordes.

Then get Pinki on the phone.

And have Liam see me in fifteen minutes. He is due a severe dressing down apropos Mako.

You are a treasure.

	Simon Horne – 1/6/00, 11:18am
to:	David Crutton
cc:
re:	a good day’s work.

I am happy to report that my morning has been spent most constructively.

Firstly, you should not be surprised that a grovelling Pinki has phoned repeatedly.

I have given much thought as to the effect that her reappointment might have on the morale of my department.

I have also considered her slanderous accusations.

In the spirit of forgiveness, I have decided to grant her one more chance.

I believe she will return chastened and with a more corporate
esprit.

Secondly, my mind has been focussed on the kind of problem you brought me here to solve – namely, Coca-Cola.

I am making serious inroads.

By early tomorrow, if not the end of today, I will be in a position to show you work which will rewrite the advertising lexicon.

Of course, you must decide for yourself whether I have succeeded, but I have every confidence.

	Simon Horne – 1/6/00, 11:20am
to:	Rachel Stevenson
cc:
re:	Pinki Fallon

Please be informed that Pinki will return to work this afternoon.

Could you make a note for your own records, as well as instruct the necessary people in accounts, that her salary will increase by £20,000.

Back-dated to October last.

	[email protected] 1/6/00, 11:23am
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	a storm in a cup of Darjeeling

Letty, darling, you were so right to let me know of last night’s shenanigans. Thank you for guarding my back as ever. However, it was no more than tears before bedtime.

Pinki is here this morning and is the proverbial busy bee in my creative hive.

Nevertheless, rosy as the garden undoubtedly is, I feel an injection of fresh blooms is called for.

I would love to pop along to your nook in the mews to peruse that Italian folio you praise so highly as well as any others you think might charm.

Perhaps you have some unexposed young buds of talent, fresh from college and eager to be propagated by my green fingers?

And since there is no time like the present, may I suggest you uncork a bottle of that luscious Merlot.

I will materialise at the lunching hour.

Your dearest friend,

	Simon Horne – 1/6/00, 11:28am
to:	Harriet Greenbaum
cc:
re:	our mutual friend

Whatever Pinki has told you about the events of yesterday, I would like you to know that I was fully prepared to give her Mako work a fair hearing. And, despite her unbecoming shrewishness, my magnanimity has, as usual, got the better of me.

She will be returning to work this afternoon.

As for Mako, it comes down to a shoot-out between mine and Pinki’s ideas.

I am confident that personal feeling will not interfere and the best will win.