Dylan (12 page)

I can’t help but wonder what Dylan would
think of Harper. It looks bad enough that I am younger than he is,
but add in the fact I have an almost three-year-old daughter, and I
can guarantee he would run a mile.

The bathroom door creaks open before Trisha
walks in. Her eyes and cheeks are red, and her bottom lip is
getting a rough chew between her teeth. She plops down on the
closed toilet lid before dropping her face into her hands.

“How did I not know?” She asks me the same
question Uncle Jim did just last night.

When she looks up her blue eyes are awash in
misery, and it tugs at my chest. This is what I didn’t want.
Everyone thinking they should have known and done something to stop
it. Now, everyone is walking around thinking it was their fault.
The only people I blame are Steven and my mother.

“I made sure you didn’t.” I look away,
unable to hold her tormented gaze any longer.

“But you were pregnant! How did I not see
that you were pregnant! You’re tiny as hell, Raven, it should have
been pretty fucking obvious!” She sounds absolutely hysterical, and
it’s tearing me apart, shredding me from the inside.

I swallow back the cry that wants to burst
out through my chest. I don’t want to cry anymore. I’ve cried too
much over the years. I’m ready to learn how to genuinely smile
again. However, a tiny part of me, the irrational one, can’t help
but wonder the same thing. Even though I hid the pregnancy well,
that little part wants to demand why they never noticed.
Rationally, I know it’s because I did hide it well. I had to, and
it became one more deception on my part. If they found out, Uncle
Jim would have known Mom was on drugs again, and he probably would
have gone to prison.

“I didn’t get very big.” I finally manage to
work the words out through my too dry throat. “It was fairly easy
to cover it with a t-shirt or hoodie. Mom helped to make sure
nobody knew.”

“I hate her.” Trisha’s voice is solid,
filled with a malice I am all too familiar with.

“I hate her too sometimes, but she was a
victim too. She was a victim of her addiction.” I turn the water
off on the tub and glance up, locking my eyes with Trisha.

“I love you and Harper. I love you both.”
Trisha speaks into the silence.

“We love you too, Trisha.” I smile so that
she knows exactly how true those words are.

I have never blamed them, and I never will.
I have no doubt they would have stopped it if they had known, but
there were too many reasons not to tell them. I didn’t know what
Steven would have done if they had found out, but I had worried he
would find a way to hurt them. He could get physically abusive at
times, and he had threatened to kill me on more than one occasion.
My fear of him ran deeper than I think I can even comprehend at
times.

Trisha smiles sadly at me before she stands
to leave. Part of me wants to yell for her to come back just so I
don’t have to be alone tonight, but I know that letting her go is
what’s best. I need to learn to function on my own without
fear.

Harper and I will be okay. Someday this will
just be an unpleasant part of my past—just
a
struggle that I lived through and overcame. I have to believe that,
or I will crumble. Plus, Harper needs me to be strong. I can’t
reach the finish line and fall. I have come too far and endured too
much, to crumble now. I won’t let Steven control me anymore. He
can’t hurt me anymore, and I can’t let my past define my future.
It’s time to find myself. Not just for me, but for Harper as
well.

Chapter Twelve

Dylan

Ethan and I head
straight to the warehouse after we leave Trisha’s house. He’s being
unusually quiet, but I’m not going to complain. I am so twisted up
over everything that has occurred in the last day and a half that I
couldn’t crack a joke if I wanted too, and I really do. I want to
relieve this pressure settling over me. I swear that I’m so tense I
can feel it in the space around me. It doesn’t let up even the
slightest until we walk into the warehouse to be met with the
obviously relaxed faces of Ardon and Ronan.

“You’ve heard from Sean.” Ethan speaks
before I can force the words out.

Ronan grins allowing me to take a deep
breath of relief that calms me almost as much as a joint would.
Finally some good fucking news
.

“Take your seats boys.” Ardon waves at the
table. I glance over as I realize everyone else is already
here.

As usual, we are the last two to arrive.

We take our seats quickly. I can feel the
grin slip onto my face. I look at Troy, Kaci, and Ethan to see the
same expressions reflected on their faces. Hope.

“There’s good news and bad news.” Ardon’s
voice pulls my attention to the head of the table.

“The good news is that Sean called Ronan
about an hour ago. The bad news is that I need to send you boys out
there.” I glance at Troy. I can see his grip tighten over the place
where he is gripping the back of Kaci’s chair.

His knuckles are white, and his icy eyes are
lethal. This isn’t something he will accept easily, and he
shouldn’t have to. No man should have to miss the day his child is
born.

“Sean said it’s not urgent, but he has a
pretty solid lead. He will need you boys to help carry it out.”
Ardon shifts his eyes regretfully to meet Troy’s deranged stare.
“I’m sorry, son. I know you don’t want to leave Kaci, but Sean
needs you.”

“You don’t think we can carry this out
without Troy? I mean, we handled the situation in Westin without
Ethan.” I don’t want Troy to go any more than he does. You only get
to experience the birth of your child once.

Ronan shakes his head sadly. “Ye boys think
we don’t understand, but we do. We’ve been where you are, son. Ye
think I wanted to—” He stops and looks at Kaci with soft eyes. I
have a feeling he was just about to talk about Sean.

I wish he just would already, but he
backtracks. “Ye think I wanted to chance not seeing my daughter’s
birth? Sometimes these are chances we have to take in order to keep
our family safe.”

“What if we have Troy head out with us,
assess the danger, and send him home if we feel we can handle it
without him?” Ethan looks at Ardon as he speaks, knowing that if he
can convince anyone it will be his father.

“Why the
fuck
are you boys pushing
this so hard? You two are injured. You’ll never be able to help
Sean without Troy’s help. Just drop it.” Ardon breathes in deeply,
his eyes squeezing tight, and pain etched on his face before he
speaks again. “All we can hope for is that Kaci can keep the baby
in just long enough for Troy to get back from Bartly.” His eyes
open and settle on me.

“I have a lead on Fuentes as well.” He
shifts his gaze to Ethan. “When you get back, I’ll let the two of
you handle the retribution.”

We both nod, but with all of the rest of
this bullshit that seems to be exploding around us, the idea hardly
seems euphoric anymore. None of this seems right anymore, but I
keep that feeling to myself. This is our life, our family, and no
matter how wrong or right it feels, I will be right here.

Ronan’s Irish lilt draws the attention away
from Ardon once again. “Troy, ye will need to re-schedule the
fight. Just in case ye boys ain’t back yet.”

“I’ll handle the fight.” Kaci’s soft voice
speaks up drawing every pair of eyes to her.

“The hell you will.” Not surprisingly,
Troy’s response is instant as his gaze narrows down at his
wife.

“Everyone is expecting a fight, Troy. I can
have a couple of the lackeys with me, and I’ll be on the stage. No
one will touch me.”

“Damn straight they won’t, because it isn’t
fucking happening.” Troy’s face is inching closer with every rush
of anger from his lips.

I agree it is the worst possible idea, but
at this point, I’m more concerned about Troy laying Kaci out on
this table in front of her dad. He doesn’t think right when his
head gets twisted up like this, and it’s very possible he will
forget we are even here. Especially, when Kaci leans in closer with
her defiant gaze centered solely on Troy. You can practically feel
the tension ratcheting up the air right now.

“It’s not really your choice since you won’t
be here.” Kaci practically growls the words in his face, and right
before I think they are about to devour each other, Ronan speaks
up.

“Kaci can handle the fight.”

Now everyone is staring at Ronan with the
same shocked expressions we had worn for Kaci only seconds before.
Everyone that is, except Troy, who is seething in anger. He doesn’t
care that Ronan is Kaci’s father, or that he’s a head member of the
organization. He just willingly allowed Kaci to do something
against Troy’s demand, and that can’t turn out well for anyone.

“The fuck you say?” Troy isn’t even trying
to hold back his anger, and even though he is speaking to Ronan, he
is pissing Ardon off.

You don’t disrespect the bosses.

“Chill the fuck out, Troy. If Ronan wants
Kaci to handle it, she will.” Ardon is speaking in his “
I own
shit voice,”
which means Troy needs to shut the fuck up. Of
course, he doesn’t.

“You want my pregnant wife to handle an
illegal underground fighting ring? This is a fucking joke.”

“She won’t be alone, son. Ye need to
remember who ye talking to.” Ronan speaks up again just as Ardon
looks like he’s about to blow something up. “Ardon and I will
accompany her. Ye think I would put my own daughter in danger?”

The tension in the air clears almost
instantly. Of course, we should have figured this is what he was
thinking, but when Troy is pissed, it’s kind of hard to rationalize
anything. He is like a one-man army causing complete destruction in
his path.
Lord, I hope he doesn’t have a daughter.
That poor
girl will be held under lock and fucking key.

“Now that we’ve made it through without
killing each other,” Ethan speaks as he looks at Ardon. “When do we
leave?”

“Bright and early. You boys can meet me here
at eight in the morning, and I will tell you where to find
Sean.”

Troy still looks pissed. At this point, I
know it’s my civic duty to make everyone happy again, so here goes
nothing. “On that note, I have places to go and women to fuck.
Who’s with me?”

It’s not my best work, but Troy smiles and
there are a few chuckles. Everyone stands and exits the warehouse
as one. All of this shit is exhausting. Maybe I really do need to
get laid. It might help.

“You heading back to your place?” Ethan asks
as we climb back into his car.

I shake my head. “I think I’ll stay at Mom’s
tonight. I don’t know how long we will be gone. I should see her
again before I leave.”

Ethan nods as he sends out a text on his
phone, probably to Trisha. “So, not getting laid then?” He smirks
at me.

“I guess not.”

“That’s a shame.”

“You really think Trisha will be
down-to-fuck
after how torn up she was earlier?”

“Considering she just texted me a picture of
her upper thigh captioned ‘I’m waiting’, yeah I think she is.”

“Must be nice to have an emotionally twisted
girlfriend.”

“It has its perks.”

“Fuckface.”

Chapter Thirteen

Raven

As usual when we
are here, Harper has hardly left Uncle Jim’s side all night. They
ate ice cream, played with dolls, and colored pictures all while
watching another princess movie on Uncle Jim’s giant television.
This one was about an Irish girl with wild red hair who turned her
mother into a bear.

After my bath, I got Harper ready for bed.
Uncle Jim has already gotten a room put together for her, complete
with a butterfly quilt. He really is my superhero. I think he might
be Harper’s too. I have gotten her bathed, dressed in a soft pink,
flowing nightgown, and tucked into bed all by eight o’clock. I walk
to the bookshelf to grab the same book I have been reading to her
since her first birthday,
Llama Llama Red Pajama
. There are
other books, of course, but she loves this one. I’m pretty fond of
it myself.

I can’t figure out how I am supposed to tell
her that I’m her mom, but I feel like that conversation can wait a
few days. Harper is dealing with a lot of changes right now and
probably needs some time to adjust before I shake her world up any
further.

I read the story repeatedly until her
eyelids finally fall closed, and her tiny breaths are even with
sleep. I gently brush her dark hair away from her face before
pressing a light kiss to her forehead. She has always been a deep
sleeper, so she doesn’t even flinch.

I replace the book on the shelf, give one
last longing look at her peaceful form, and step into the
hallway.

As I turn to head back to my room, Trisha’s
door swings open, and she steps out wearing a skirt that barely
covers her and a top that has her boobs practically falling out of
it. I chuckle. Ethan must be coming over.

“What?” Trisha’s eyes are wide with panic.
“What, Raven? Is it awful?” Her gaze moves down to run over her
outfit.

I laugh harder.

“For God’s sake, Raven! He will be here any
minute.”

I hold up a finger to indicate I need a
minute. Which she begrudgingly gives me as she stands there with
her hands on her hips. The attitude just perfects her saucy
attire.

“You look gorgeous.” I finally answer,
because she does. Only Trisha could make such a trashy outfit look
so classy.

“Then why are you laughing?” Her stance
softens marginally.

“Because, it is so obvious that Ethan is on
his way. You only dress like—” I wave my hand to indicate all of
her, “That, when he is coming over.”

A smile breaks out on her face. “Yeah, I
guess I do, but if you saw what dressing like this does to him you
would too. That man is a sex god!”