Drowning in Deception (17 page)

Suddenly his whole expression
changed and he started chuckling, a low sound that came from deep in his chest.

She was stunned. And she was
terrified. Was he playing some kind of cruel joke on her? Or was he about to
change and eat her? Should she run?

“What’s so funny?” her voice
croaked out as she felt her cheeks heat.

“It’s funny,” he laughed, shaking
his head. But he saw the panicked look on her face and quickly worked to calm
himself. “When I first met you, I felt so…stupid. We couldn’t even read your
children’s stories. I was even ashamed to admit it to you - a god.  For
generations we’ve done nothing but work to provide for your people and in the
course of doing this, the skill of reading was lost, among other things. I felt
so naïve. But don’t you see? The opposite is true. You - your people - you know
nothing of your own world. You have no clue about what goes on over here. It’s
just so, so… I don’t know…unbelievable.”

He had just told her that he
would have no qualms about eating her and now he was making fun of her because
she hadn’t known what he really was. Her fear merged quickly into anger. She
wasn’t this way by choice. Things had been purposefully kept from her. She
still didn’t fully understand why. Was ignorance bliss? It seemed so. Maybe
that was why. Her anger was toward her people, her father, her mother, even
Zander, but it was Rye that she wanted to lash out at. He was the one mocking
her pain.

“Why don’t you enlighten me,
then?” Her words were hard as stone as her eyes stabbed at him. Then she sucked
in a breath as the fear swarmed over her again. It was probably best not to
anger him since at any moment she could become the meat in his next stew.

“I’m sorry.” This time when he reached
out to take her hand, she didn’t resist. The compassion in his face and the
warmth from his skin quickly had her distress subsiding again. Even though what
he was telling her was horrific, she’d seen a profound change in him recently. He
had started out as a hateful boy, but she had witnessed him turn into a caring
young man. He had become her friend. She wanted to believe that he wouldn’t
hurt her. If what he was saying was true, there must be a reason why he hadn’t
harmed her. He’d had plenty of opportunities.

“I just assumed it was all common
knowledge. Clove, Clove…look at me.” His other hand reached out and gently
tilted her chin up. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

His face looked so gentle, so
understanding. It wasn’t the face of a person who wanted to sample her with
biscuits and gravy. “But I can’t promise that you’re going to like what you
hear.”

“I haven’t liked anything I’ve
learned over the past few days. Why change the pattern now?”

His face was so earnest, so
still.

“I don’t want to believe you. You
don’t eat people. If that was true, why haven’t I been on the menu yet?”

He took her other hand now, so
that both their hands were clasped in each other’s. He looked deep into her eyes
as he spoke slowly, making sure she didn’t miss a thing. “Like I said, we are
essentially human in every way. But when we let our emotions get the better of
us, allow them to get out of control, it triggers something inside and that’s
when we transition.”

He paused, waiting for a
reaction. When he didn’t get one, he continued. “For the most part, we have
learned to control our emotions, but sometimes it’s unavoidable. We hold hands
and embrace to soothe each other, and most of the time that helps, but
sometimes the anger or the fear just becomes too much and it overwhelms us. That’s
what you saw happen at the chopper platform last night. Someone became too angry,
resentful toward the gods, and he transitioned. They shot him.”

She hadn’t seen anyone change,
but she had heard a commotion before the gunfire, and nodded her head as she
remembered. “That’s where that name comes from. Impetuomanic. When you act
impetuously, a sort of mania takes over?”

“Yes.”

Clover had once read a book about
a lycanthrope - a man that changed into a wolf when the moon was full. Then he
would go around killing people. Her eyes were wide when she asked, “Do you
change…transition into an animal?”

He took a breath. “No. Not an
animal. We become an amplified version of ourselves. A version designed to hunt
and kill. Our teeth grow stronger and we get long, sharp fangs. Our muscles increase
in size to give us more strength and speed for the kill. Our eyes change, turning
a shade of yellow, and both our vision and hearing become enhanced to give us
keen senses. Our hands and feet enlarge and our fingernails become more like
claws.”

Clover had stopped breathing,
staring at him stupefied.

“And we remain that way until
we’ve successfully hunted our prey and eaten our kill.”

She pressed her lips hard
together. He’d already told her what they kill, what they crave, but she asked
anyway. It was barely a whisper. “What do you kill?”

“Just about anything that bleeds.”

She shook her head, trying to
force it to make some sense. “But you bleed, don’t you? The C…Carnae - they
bleed. How have you managed not to kill off each other?” Her throat was dry and
she felt dizzy.

“Yes, we bleed. We are mammals
too. But when we are in our transitioned state, we easily recognize the
difference between other humans and our fellow Carnae.”

“So, you can’t tell the
difference unless you’re transitioned?”

“No. When our eyes change, so
does our vision. That’s how we see the difference. And we don’t kill our own.”

She was shaking slightly. His
grip on her hands tightened. “You’re safe,” he assured her. “I won’t hurt you
as long I remain calm.”

She laughed weakly. “So, in other
words, I shouldn’t piss you off?”

He chuckled back. “Clove, I’m
really good at not letting my emotions get out of control, and I make an extra
effort when I’m with you. You’re a friend and I don’t want anything to happen
to you.”

She looked down to their clasped hands.

“Do you trust me?” he asked,
again lifting her chin so their eyes could meet.

She stared into eyes that were
more serious, more sincere than any she’d ever seen in her life. She barely
knew this boy in front of her, had been terrified of him when they first met,
and now he had just confessed to being a killer species she’d never heard of.
All she would have to do is make him too angry and he could easily end her life.
And yet, she knew she could trust him without question.

She nodded, then shook her head
at what she was about to say. “I trust you,” she breathed. “But I have to admit
that you make me very nervous.”

“I’ll do everything I can to protect
you. I promise.” He smiled warmly. “I never meant to deceive you. I just
assumed you knew all this. Honestly, I was very surprised that you agreed to
come with me and Arma that day. I completely understand if you want to leave,
and never come back.”

But Clover was no longer focussing on
the fact that the boy whose hands she was clutching was a killer. She was
suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of curiosity. Curiosity about Rye’s people,
her people, and the history that brought the world to the way it was now. So
much so, that her brain didn't know where to begin. She had always been told
that the knowledge of history was a waste of time. Why devote your time
thinking and learning about the past? It couldn't be altered in any way, so one
was much better off enjoying the here and now. These words of wisdom passed on to
her from her mother had always made perfect sense to her. The past couldn't be
changed, so what was the point of knowing all the details about it? But now,
she could have sworn she felt something shift in her head, and a little voice
was disputing what she had been told. The voice was telling her that it was
important to know the history of one's world as well as what was going on in
the present. She realized that the voice was hers, telling her that it had been
wrong of the Watch Tower men to hide her peoples’ past from the citizens of
Eadin.

Questions began filling up in her so
fast that they stumbled and crashed into one another, causing a great chaos
within.

“No, Rye. I think you're the only person
who has ever been completely honest with me. I don't want to leave. I’d like to
stay, and I’d like to keep coming back.”

She eyed him nervously, but was relieved
to see a smile from him that radiated outward, causing her to reflect it back
to him.

“I want to know everything, Rye. Can you
tell me...”

But her words were stopped when his lips
pressed against her mouth. She had been so absorbed with all the questions
flipping around in her head that she hadn't even noticed his face nearing hers.
She was much too shocked to kiss him back, but she didn't pull away.

He drew back about two inches from her
face, his eyes cautious. “Was that okay?”

She didn't know what to say. This boy
who had just confessed his mammal-killing tendencies had pressed his mouth to
hers. It surprised her that the kiss hadn’t felt threatening in any way.
Instead, his lips had been soft and warm. And it wasn't as if she had never
been kissed before. She and Zander had kissed many times. But this was
different. It felt different, like there was something new and unique behind
the kiss that she couldn't quite pinpoint or understand. She only knew that it
was a feeling she enjoyed. It felt good. It felt right. Her eyes were wide as
she nodded. But then she looked down to her lap.

“What's wrong?” asked Rye. “I guess I
shouldn't've done that, huh?”

Her eyes lifted to his. “Oh, no. I liked
it. It was a good kiss. I just don't understand why you would want to kiss
someone like me. My people are your enemy, your so-called gods. And me - I'm
just a stupid, clueless girl, completely oblivious to the real world.”

“No, Clove. Don't ever say that. You are
the kindest, smartest person I know. And it should be me who doesn't understand
how you could let a…a monster like me kiss you.”

This time it was Clover who put her lips
to his, and he kissed her back. It was short and sweet. Then they pressed their
foreheads together and stared deeply into each other's eyes.

“Let's make a deal,” she whispered. “When
we're in this nest of bushes, we’re just a boy and a girl. All the gods and
monsters are out there.”

He smiled. “Deal.”

They lay down together on the wool
blanket and stared up at the ceiling of bushes, watching the shadows of leaves
dip and sway in the breeze.

“I’m ready,” he said. “Ask me anything
you want to know.”

“Okay.” She snuggled close to his side, resting
her head on his broad chest while she considered where to begin. She believed
what he had told her, but he felt so warm and comfy next to her that she
couldn’t envision him as a killer - of anything.

It only made sense to start at the
beginning. “How did the Carnae come to be?”

“I think we came to be as all living
things came to be. A design of nature.”

This answer was too simple for the now
overly curious Clover. “That’s it? Aren’t there any other theories, like… I
don’t know…you evolved for the purpose of survival, or that you’re the result
of a crazy experiment or something?”

A laugh burst out of him. “No. Of course
not. You do have a great imagination, though.” He brought his arm up and
pressed his palm against her back.

She snuggled in closer to his side. He
felt so good. “Hmm… How often does everyone change…I mean transition?”

“Well, it’s different for everyone. It’s
not like it’s a regular thing that needs to happen for survival. Some rarely
transition in a whole year while others do several times a month. I guess it
all depends on an individual’s natural emotional tendencies.”

She swallowed, nervous of her next
question. “Have you ever killed…”

“A human?”

She nodded into his chest, thankful that
he couldn’t see her wide eyes. Yes, she trusted him, though she didn’t fully understand
why. Yes, he seemed nicer now. But she still held onto the fear he’d instilled
in her since their first meeting. She couldn’t completely shake it. Plus, there
was the fact that he could kill her and eat her if he wanted to. She wondered
if it was crazy that she was still there, cuddling with him in the bushes.

“No. I’ve never killed a human.”

Phew. That was the answer she had hoped
for.

“Do all of your people know about the
door in the Wall? And if so, do they come through it to hunt?”

“Actually, I don’t think anyone knows about
it. It seems to be pretty well hidden on both sides. Arma and I found it by
accident the other day. We were just looking for berries or anything different
that might help Abilee. And, even if everyone in Quell knew about the door, we
would have to be on the other side of the door when we transitioned in order to
hunt over there.”

“Why?”

She felt his chest heave as he sighed. “When
we’re in our changed form, we’re not the same. There is no rational thought,
only one thing on our mind - to hunt and to kill. It’s just not possible for us
to think things through. We’re too rash, too impulsive, and we act purely on
instinct. So the thought to open a door handle to find our prey wouldn’t even
occur to us.”