Drowning in Deception (14 page)

“Oh. What’s going on? Why are you
packing?” There was a hint of distress in her mother’s sing-song voice.

She didn’t want to turn around,
didn’t think she could bear to look upon her mother’s face. It was the face of
a liar, a face that knew what horrible acts her father did, and a face that
acted as if everything was wonderful despite it all.

“I’m leaving.” She tried not to
sound harsh, but it came out like a stab anyway.

“Clover.” The chipper tone was
squashed. “Tell me what’s going on,” she demanded.

She bit her lip again and then
planted on a huge, cheesy grin before turning around. “Zander has his own house
now and I’m moving in with him.” It was sort of a lie, since Zander didn’t know
she was moving in yet, but she didn’t care. Tit for tat, she thought.

Her mother’s worried expression
quickly transformed into one of elation. “Oh, Clover. That’s wonderful.” She
pulled her into an embrace as Clover grimaced over her shoulder. “Did he
propose?”

She pulled away. “Um, no. Not
yet.”

The chirpy voice had returned in
full force, much too sickeningly sweet for Clover to tolerate. “Well, congratulations.
Oh, Clover, this is fantastic. Your father will be thrilled. We always knew the
two of you would end up together. We should celebrate. A house-warming party?”

Clover returned to her packing,
tossing her belongings into the second bag. “Maybe another time, Mom.” She
tried to sound happy, and hoped she was succeeding. “But the house, well, it
needs some work. New furnishings and rugs and stuff.”

“Oh, wonderful. I’d love to help
pick things out. And we could give your father our special orders to put in at
the Watch Tower.”

Special orders, she thought, for
the poor people on the other side of the Wall to make for them. She stopped her
furious packing and pasted the smile back on before turning around again. “Mom.
This is to be my home. I want to be the one to do the work and make the
decisions. I want to do it with Zander. It should be our project. We’ll invite
you over when it’s all finished, okay?”

She actually looked sad for a
moment, a look that Clover was unaccustomed to seeing. But the ever-dependable
Aspen Swelton easily erased the sad face, and sang the word, “Okay.”

“Thanks for understanding.” Clover
resumed her packing.

“Is everything okay, Clover? You
seem…different. Not right, somehow.”

“I’m fine, Mom. I just have a lot
to do. That’s all.”

She silently willed her mother to
leave before she lost control and started screaming at her.

Thankfully, she did just that. “Oh,
okay then. Let me know if you need any help.” She sounded a little sad about
being left out, but Clover had a feeling - no, Clover
knew
that she
would quickly get over it.

***

Clover marched up the walkway to
Zander’s little house, her usual bag over her shoulder, and a large overstuffed
bag clutched in each hand. Dressed in an old pair of jeans, her hair pulled
into a hasty bun, and without a trace of make-up on, she marched up the front
steps. It was strange that the idea of dressing properly and making herself
look presentable hadn’t even occurred to her. She had more important things to
take care of than brushing on a thick coat of blush or making sure she was
wearing freshly pressed clothing.

This time when she banged on the
door, it was Zander who answered. “Clove? What’s going on?”

She walked past him and dropped
her bags onto the floor. “I’m moving in.”

“You’re what?”

She looked across her left
shoulder to see Sera and Smith sitting at the kitchen table with coffee cups in
hand. Their hair was ruffled and they were still dressed in sleepwear.

“I expect you’ll find room for me
here too.” She crossed her arms. She had nowhere else to go, and she wasn’t
going to take no for an answer.

“But…”

She ignored him and sauntered
into the kitchen. “Well, I can’t exactly stay with my parents now that I know
they’ve been purposefully drugging me my entire life. And my dad… Well, I don’t
even want to think about him. It’s impossible to keep up the happy act around
them, so I can’t stay there.” She narrowed her eyes at Sera. “And if they
figure out that I’ve stopped drinking my milk, it’ll be all of you who pay the
price.”

“Don’t you have any other
friends?” Sera shot. “You can’t stay here. We have our meetings here and you
already know too much.”

“And whose fault is that?” There
was no way she was going to put up with Sera’s crap any more.

Smith was watching her carefully.
His voice was coarse and thick with regret as he said, “I’m sorry, Clover. I
never should have told you what they did to me. I had no idea that your dad…”

“Your secrets are safe.” She
didn’t have any proof of Smith’s claims about his apparent punishment. But if
her father could be so cold-hearted to the people of Quell, it seemed likely
that he could be just as capable of harsh treatment to the people of Eadin.

She glanced at each of them. It
seemed to her that she had some leverage here. “Yes, all of your secrets are
safe as long as you let me stay.”

“Zander…” Sera whined.

She was suddenly feeling very
powerful. “I thought you wanted to recruit more people, anyway. I’ll join your
group.”

Zander was beside her now. “You
don’t understand, Clove. There’s more to what we’re doing here than rebelling
against drinking milk. It’s something much bigger, something you shouldn’t be
involved in.”

“It’s to do with what’s happening
on the other side of the Wall, isn’t it?”

Three pairs of very round eyes
were suddenly on her. She couldn’t deny that she was enjoying this. This new
found strength, this new clarity, and this new power that she had. She strolled
over to the counter, found a cup, and poured herself a coffee. She then turned
to the trio with a smug grin. “What?” she asked innocently. “I heard you that
day in the basement. You were talking about the other side of the Wall. I may
have been on drugs then, but I certainly wasn’t deaf.”

Her grin was self-satisfied as
they all looked at her, speechless. Was she taking it too far, she wondered?
She was acting so out of character, so unlike the Clover everyone thought she
was. But maybe this was who she really was, and the drugs had been masking her
true self all these years. Maybe the real Clover was obnoxious and maybe even
as much of a bitch as Sera was.

She set her cup down and leaned
against the counter. Why was she enjoying this so much? And she wasn’t done
yet. “Besides, I can help you. I’ve been to the other side of the Wall.” She
could hardly believe herself, that she’d said it out loud, and judging by the
three jaws that suddenly hit the floor, they couldn’t believe it either.

“You what?” Zander practically
shouted.

“We’ve created a monster.” Sera was
shaking her head.

Smith remained silent, watching
her intently.

Zander rushed to her and got right
in her face. “That’s not funny. Don’t even joke about it.”

“Oh, I assure you, it’s no joke.
I’ve been there a few times. I know what goes on there, and what the
helichoppers really do there.”

“She’s bluffing.” Sera put in her
two cents worth.

“They go there to get our
supplies, our food from those poor people who live practically like animals.”
Ha, she thought, now Sera could take her two cents and shove them.

From the corner of her eye she
noticed Smith nodding. It was barely noticeable, but it was a definite nod of
agreement.

Before she could say anything
else, Zander grabbed her by the arm and yanked her from the room. Her first
instinct was to resist, but she was curious as to what he was up to. He led her
to the back of the house and into a small bedroom. It was as bare as the living
room, with only an old double bed and a scratched-up chest of drawers.

He closed the door and turned to
her. In a frantic whisper he asked, “What are doing, Clove? Have you lost your
mind?”

His forceful attitude had caught
her off guard. She’d never seen him act this way. Her smugness must have stayed
behind in the kitchen, because all she could do now was blink wide-eyed at him.

“I don’t know if you’re telling
the truth or not. But if you did somehow find your way to the other side of the
Wall, you can never go there again. Do you understand? It’s not safe for you
there. The monsters will kill you.”

He was telling her what she could
and couldn’t do? Ah, there it was. Her smugness slipped under the door and
found her again. She smirked and laughed from her throat. “You sound just like
my dear old Dad. And we all know what a big liar he is. If you know as much as
you claim to know, then you are as aware as I am that the only monsters over
there are the people who call themselves gods and fly there in the
helichoppers.”

“No, Clove. You’re wrong.” He ran
a hand roughly through his tidy hair.

“Are you trying to tell me that
the people who work at the top of the Watch Tower - my dad included - aren’t
thieves and bullies? Monsters, in my eyes. Because I saw them, Zander. I
watched with my own eyes as they stole from those people and shot at them.” The
visions in her head of the night before were too much, her voice was cracking
and tears threatened. She felt her power draining and weakness was quickly
taking its place.

“No. Yes. Clove. Oh, Clove. What
have I gotten you into?”

She couldn’t hold it in any
longer and the tears began to pour down her cheeks. Zander took one look and
pulled her into his chest, wrapping her tightly in his arms. “I’m so sorry,” he
whispered. “For everything.”

The crying didn’t last long, but
he didn’t relax his hold on her. There was a time when being enclosed in his
arms was her favorite place to be. But now it felt foreign to her, and awkward.
She felt no warmth there, no comfort, no security. Her body went rigid when she
realized all those things were exactly what she had felt when she was in Rye’s
arms the night before. She hadn’t realized it at the time, but he made her feel
more than safe. He made her feel special. Even though his intention had been
nothing more than to calm her down, he had made her feel good. She didn’t feel
good in Zander’s arms, and she knew in that moment, without a doubt, that they
had no future together.

She pulled away from him. “It’s
not your fault. I hold nothing against you.” She sat on the edge of the unmade
bed. “I need a place to stay for a while. Until I figure things out. I’ll stay
out of everybody’s way.” Her shoulders slumped and she let out a long sigh. How
could her life have changed so drastically in just a few days? Part of her was
waiting to wake up and forget this nightmare had ever happened.

He moved to stand in front of
her. “You can stay. Of course you can stay. Clove, you’ve been my best friend
forever. I won’t abandon you. I couldn’t ever do that.”

She gazed up to his face and saw
pure sincerity there. “Thanks.”

“But promise me that you won’t go
back there. Keep yourself on this side of the Wall. Please, Clove. This is
important.”

“Why?”

“Those people over there…” He
scratched his head roughly. “Well, Smith says they’re not all bad, but…”

“But what?”

“They’re not like us. It’s true
what we’ve been told. They really are monsters. If you go there again, you
might never come back. They will kill you without a second thought. It’s what
they do.”

“But…” In her mind she saw Rye,
and Arma, and sweet little Abilee. He was wrong about them. So wrong.

“Promise me.”

She searched his face and found
it to be deadly serious. She knew he wouldn’t take no for an answer. “I promise.”
It would seem that lying was becoming second nature to her.

***

It was strange being in the
little house with Zander, Sera, and Smith. It was definitely not what she
pictured life would be like when she finally moved out of her parents’ home.
But she soon found that things seemed to work efficiently here. Without even
exchanging words, Smith gathered everyone’s dirty clothes to wash while Sera
started banging around in the kitchen to make them lunch.

“I’ve got to head out to the
Watch Tower market for some supplies,” Zander told them. He focussed on Sera,
who had since showered and dressed. “Behave.”

“Yes, sir!” she laughed.

When the door closed behind him,
Clover turned to Sera. “Can I help you with anything?” If she was going to be
living there, she wanted to contribute.

“Um…sure.”

“Great. But before we start, can
you tell me where I’ll be sleeping? I want to put my bags away.”

“Well, I’m not really sure.” She
looked Clover up and down. At least Sera seemed to have accepted that she was
going to have Clover for a housemate. “There’re only two bedrooms, and I’m
pretty sure you don’t want to cuddle up next to Smith.”