Drowning in Deception (15 page)

“You got that right,” Clover
agreed. She hadn’t officially broken up with Zander yet. She wondered if it
would be wrong to sleep in the same bed with him while knowing that she no
longer had romantic feelings toward him. She remembered back to the times
they’d shared a bed when they were kids. They would have sleepovers at each
other’s houses. It had been completely innocent and they’d had a lot of fun.
She decided it wouldn’t be any different now. “Which one is Zander’s room? I’ll
just stay with him. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

Sera’s face scrunched up as she
crossed her arms. “I’d mind.”

“Huh? Why would you mind?”

Her bitchy attitude came out in
full form. “Are all pretty people as dense as you are?”

Clover chewed her lip. She knew
what was coming even though she’d somehow managed to convince herself that her
suspicions were wrong.

“I’d mind because Zander and I
share that bed.”

Well, there it was. There really
was something going on between Zander and Sera. And while it didn’t come as a
big surprise, she never would have thought the two of them would be sleeping
together while she and Zander were technically still together. That would make
him a cheater.

Zander was no better than her
parents. More betrayal. More lies. She shouldn’t be surprised anymore.

She wouldn’t have to break up
with Zander now, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. They had been best
friends forever, and then boyfriend and girlfriend for the past three or four
years. How could he be so cold, so uncaring?  How could he sneak around behind
her back like that? She felt so stupid for not having allowed herself to admit
the truth sooner. She wondered briefly how the old, drugged up Clover would
have reacted. Would she have shed a tear or two and then shrugged it off,
knowing she would find contentment elsewhere? Probably. The very idea made her
nauseous. She had been a gigantic push-over. But never again, she vowed.

Sera eyed her carefully, as if
waiting for a reaction at the latest devastating news. But this wasn’t the old
Clover. She refused to shed one single tear for Zander. He didn’t deserve it.
And though she desperately wanted nothing more than to shove her fist into
Sera’s face, she restrained herself. Clover refused to give Sera the
satisfaction of knowing she had hurt her. While physically lashing out would
have been satisfying, the truth was that she no longer wanted Zander anyway.
So, what was the point in fighting for him?

She shrugged a shoulder like it
was no big deal. “Yeah, I figured as much. You can have him.” For good effect,
she followed with an exaggerated yawn.

Sera stared at her with narrowed
eyes, then turned her head and hollered, “Yo, Smith.  Clover’s staying. You
want the bed or the couch?”

“Couch is fine,” his muffled
voice answered from the laundry room.

Though their feelings for each
other were anything but cordial, Clover and Sera managed to prepare lunch
together like a team that had been working together for years. They didn’t
speak, but seemed to follow each other’s lead and naturally move on to the next
task intuitively. Vegetables were chopped, rice was boiled and then fried, and
the table was set.

Zander returned just as they were
sitting down to eat. He quickly unpacked the groceries, which Clover noted with
surprise included a large jug of milk, and took his place at the table.

All was quiet for a while as the
foursome shoveled forks full of rice stir-fry into their mouths. Clover noticed
Zander giving Sera a knowing, almost pleading look before addressing his
housemates.

“So, after lunch I’ll take your
bags to my bedroom so you can unpack,” he said to Clover.

Sera smirked, but said nothing.

“You want me to sleep in your bed
with you?” Clover asked, her words coated in syrupy sweetness of excitement.

“Well, of course,” he said, his
eyes flicking nervously at Sera.

Clover shoved some rice into her
mouth. “Okay,” she said as she chewed. “But it might get kinda cozy with all
three of us in that bed together.” She cocked an eyebrow at him.

“What…” His horrified eyes met
Sera’s. “You told her?”

Sera only shrugged and continued
eating.

He put his fork down. “I’m sorry,
Clove. I wanted to tell you myself. I was waiting for the right time…”

“Seems to me the right time
should have been
before
you started sleeping together.” She refused to
look at him. He was weak and pitiful. “You’re such a coward.”

“I was afraid of hurting you.
It’s always been just the two of us. I’m so sorry, Clove.”

She said nothing. She didn’t want
him to know just how hurt she really was. He didn’t deserve to know.

“I have more bad news.”

Everyone stopped eating to look
at him.

“Clove, I ran into your mom at
the market. She’s pretty pleased that we have our own house now.”

“Oh, that’s just great,” Sera spat.

“Well, I had to tell her
something,” Clover muttered. “How was I supposed to know that…”

“Yeah, well, she’s gone and
invited herself and your father and Sprigg here for supper tomorrow.”

“What?!” both Clover and Sera
yelled in unison.

“Well, you know how your mother
is. All happy and cheerful, and unwilling to take no for an answer.”

“Great, Zander. That’s just
great.” Clover got up and dropped her plate and cutlery into the sink before
stalking out of the room.

Behind her, she heard Sera say to
him, “Don’t go after her. She’s not yours to coddle anymore.”

***

She went out to find her
girlfriends, not to spill her guts and complain, but simply because she needed
a friend. No one was who they appeared to be anymore, and she needed something familiar
to make her feel grounded again.

It didn’t take too long to track
down the girls, since the majority of their days were spent with things that
had to do with hair, clothes or make-up. Clover found Chantille and Mella at
Mrs. Quint’s cosmetic shop. Mrs. Quint made her own perfumes and make-up, and
had set up a little shop in her house for people to come and browse and take
what they liked.

The two girls were just walking
out the front door of the shop when she found them.

“Oh, Clove,” you have to see this
new lipstick I just got,” gushed Mella. “Mrs. Quint has been experimenting with
shades and it has this beautiful blue undertone.” She rummaged in her bag to
find it.

Chantille moved in close to
Clover, pointing to one of her eyes. “And just look at the colorful sparkles in
this green eye shadow. They’re pink and…” It was then that Chantille noticed
the way Clover looked. “Is everything okay?” she asked. “You look…off.”  

“Yeah,” agreed Mella. “No offense,
Clove, but you look like crap. You’re clothes are…they’re…” Mella looked her up
and down. “And you left the house without make-up.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” she tried to
chirp. “Just tired. Zander and I moved in together and the house needs a lot of
work.” She figured she may as well keep up the lie for the time being.

The two girls started screaming
with glee as they all walked down the sidewalk together. “That’s fantastic,
Clove. But not surprising. Has he proposed?”

Clover took a deep breath. She
didn’t want to talk about it, because if she did, one of two things would
happen. Lie upon lie would pile up until she could no longer remember what the
lie at the bottom of the pile was. Or she might find herself spewing the truth
about drugged milk, cheating boyfriends, fake parents, and trips to the other
side of the Wall. This wasn’t why she came to her friends. She came because she
wanted to forget all of it for a while. She wanted to try and feel normal
again, though she was no longer certain what normal was.

“No, he hasn’t proposed yet. But
tell me about you guys. What’s been going on? How are things with you and Dante?”
she addressed Chantille.

“Really good. Oh, he’s so
wonderful,” she squealed. “But we need to work on finding someone for Mella.”

Mella nodded enthusiastically. Both
girls’ faces were smiling brightly under the kaleidoscope of colors. And then
they started chattering back and forth, so quickly that to Clover’s ears they
sounded like little peeping, annoying chicks. Chirp, chirp, chirp, so excited about
so many unimportant things: boys, eye shadow, dress hems, accessories, and so
on. Chirp, chirp, chirp. It was giving Clover a headache.

She wondered if this was who these
girls really were, if underneath the disguise of the drugs, they would still be
the type of people she would be friends with. Suddenly it felt like the whole
world, the entire population of Eadin was just a giant stage show. And they
were players being shuffled around unknowingly by a group of people who thought
they were gods - gods who thought they could control everyone and everything.
It disgusted her. She didn’t want to be controlled anymore, not ever again.

She decided that coming to see
her friends, if they really were her friends, had been a bad idea. She suddenly
had an urgent need to escape the plastic faces that were covered in sparkly
shades of pink and blue. She realized that it had only been a few days ago when
she had looked exactly like they did. She had been a fake too. The very thought
weighed heavily in her gut.

She walked away without a word as
the two girls watched her with big eyes. They called after her, but she ignored
them. Oh well, she thought, they’ll get over it soon enough. Curiosity and
holding a grudge, she knew firsthand, were not things they were currently
capable of. She wasn’t sure if she should envy them or feel sorry for them.

As she strode on, a decision came
full-force into her mind. She would not sit idly by and watch the stage show
that was Eadin. It wasn’t fair to let all of these people be tricked. She was
going to join Zander’s group, whether he liked it or not. Things were so wrong
in her world, and she was going to do whatever she could to set them on the
path to being right.

Clover returned to the little
house on Abraham Road to find the house was quiet. Zander and Sera were not
there. Smith sat on the couch reading a book. She gave him a quick glance before
averting her eyes. She still found it hard to look at him. The scars were
awful. She could clearly remember what he used to look like, even though she
had only met him once or twice before. He had been a nice looking man, with
clear skin and bright eyes filled with life. The eyes were still bright, but
the life had completely fizzled out of them.

She mumbled a hello as she
swiftly headed down the short hall toward the room that was temporarily hers.

“Clover?” he called out.

She took a few steps backward to
peek around the corner at him. “Yes?”

“Can we talk?”

If she was going to be living
here, she had to get used to the way he looked.

“Um...okay.” She walked in to the
living room and sat down on the loveseat to face him.

“I really am sorry.” He placed the
book he’d been reading down on the coffee table. “If I had known that your
father was Bromer Swelton…”

“It’s okay,” she said quietly. “It’s
not your fault, and it’s probably for the best that I know the truth.” She
hadn’t decided yet if she was glad to know the truth. It was painful to accept that
her father, her hero, was not the person she believed him to be. She had been
making a point to not allow herself to think about it. She gritted her teeth
and pushed back the anger so that she wouldn’t cry.

“So, I’m wondering…who told you
about what goes on over there. On the other side?”

She swallowed. “No one told me. I
saw it for myself.”

His eyes were slightly narrowed. “How
did you get over there?”

She didn’t want to tell him about
Rye, or about Arma and Abilee. It felt like her own secret that she needed to
keep safe, at least until she figured out exactly what their group was up to. “I
wandered over the boundary line one day, and I found a door in the Wall.”

His brows shot up and she saw a
sliver of life return to his green eyes. “You found the door?”

He knew about the door? Her head
tilted to the side in question.

He clasped his hands together on
his lap. “I found the door too. That’s how I got back here.”

Of course. How else would he have
come back to Eadin?

“I’m curious,” she said. “What’s
the purpose of the boundary line? Is it to keep people from finding the door?”

He pressed his lips together. “No.
I don’t think many people are even aware of the door’s existence. It must have
been built when the Wall was erected, and that was so long ago… The boundary
line, I think, is simply another way to enforce the rules. It’s to keep
everyone together in the city, so they can keep track of us. That way it’s
easier to ensure that everyone is drinking their milk and acting in the content
manner that they’re supposed to.”