Drive Me Sane (3 page)

When they were done, Tyler seemed all too happy to get away when she dismissed his offer to help clean up the kitchen. Not that she minded. The taciturnity had her ready to escape back to her room. But then she heard a long strum of his guitar from out on the porch and stood at the sink, unable to move. The next few notes had her setting the plate she’d just rinsed aside and leaning against the counter to listen more closely. His fingers danced with the strings. She closed her eyes, getting lost in his music. She loved to hear him play just as much as she enjoyed his voice.

Unsure of how long she stood there, she opened her eyes when she started humming along. She didn’t allow herself to play his album that often, but she’d listened enough to recognize most of the songs. But hearing them with a full band and Tyler singing the lyrics was completely different than hearing only the guitar’s acoustic version as she was now.

Drying her hands, she stood still, slipping back to the soulful sounds. With each new song, she grew more curious about his career, until she was caught up in the excitement and momentarily forgot all about the strain between them. She was at the door, ready to go out and listen for a while, when she heard the familiar tune from the night before start up again. The chords were slow and saddening. Closing her eyes, she searched for the words she knew were there. They came just as Tyler finished strumming the chorus.
She got a trip around the world and I got a box of regrets.
She’d love to hate that song. She didn’t have to ask to know it was about their breakup. The lyrics too closely resembled details of their life together. And although she could recognize its beauty, it was also heart wrenching to hear at the same time.

“Track number seven,” she stated, pushing the door open a little with her foot.

She recognized the surprise on his face and couldn’t hold back the smile that came with knowing she could still read him so easily. “I like ‘Blue Jean Kinda Night,’ too,” she said shyly.

“Someone bought my record.” Tyler beamed, his mood completely different than the solemn way he sat through dinner.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t?”

“Honestly?” He shook his head with a throaty chuckle. “No. Not unless it was to smash it into a million pieces.”

“Such faith in me,” she joked, seeing for the first time a small resemblance of the man she used to know. “So track seven seems to have you hung up. Is that what you’re considering next?” Anxiety over the answer filled her stomach.

Tyler hesitated. “I’m just not sure about it.”

Sera thought on that for a moment, and decided that it was a subject better left untouched. She offered a straight face. “Again, I’m sure whatever song you choose, it will do just fine.” Then, moving her foot, she let the door close and went back inside.

• • •

Tyler set his guitar against the railing and leaned back into the swing, wondering if Sera would ever sit still long enough to have a decent conversation with him and if she did, would he figure out what exactly to say. Every opportunity he had to try and talk to her seemed to sneak up without warning. Like the night before when he wanted to apologize and instead coughed out how weird it was that they were both there. Their time at the dinner table came and went without one thought leaving his mouth and his chance just now seemed only like it might be an opening for an argument. She’d obviously heard the song yet refused to call it by name, which didn’t leave him all that confident about how she might feel if it was released. He’d written “Box of Regrets” while trying to cope with the guilt of losing her. He’d broken her heart once. He wasn’t sure he could consciously live with himself if he broke it every time she turned on the radio.

S
taring at his reflection in the mirror, Tyler saw lines extending out of the corners of his eyes that he hadn’t noticed before. He wondered what the women who hung around to flirt after his shows might think if they could see him now. The rugged appearance he wore on stage took more to attain than most realized. If it were as simple as pulling on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and going out to sing, life would be easy. But it wasn’t. In fact it was stressful and tiresome and sometimes he wondered why he wanted to do it in the first place. The circles underneath his eyes were evidence of that. They were usually masked by all the lighting on stage, but in Roy’s well-lit bathroom they boldly stood out. Life on the road was taking its toll on him—and not in a good way.

With half of another day already wasted by his continuing the never-ending chase for a good night’s sleep, he hopped in the shower, hoping to summon up some motivation to take advantage of the rest of the day. The hot water felt good against his tense shoulders, but it did little for the slight throb in his head. Then again, it seemed he always had a headache lately. The constant stress of being on the road and all the added attention from his hit “Endless Night”
didn’t help. Interviews, charity events, fan meet-and-greets. You name it, he had been there. It was to the point he couldn’t even rely on a day to rest while on the bus in route to his next show because he was too busy catching late-night and red-eye flights just to keep up. He hadn’t stopped for the past four months; hadn’t spent more than three consecutive days at his own house in Nashville. And while he’d considered staying there while off, he knew his mom and Roy were in Florida, and he believed being surrounded by the simple things from a time when music had been a way to pass the time and not so much work would help him make peace with the release. At least that had been the idea, until he found Sera there. How ironic it was, that he was now sharing a house with the reason he was in the dilemma to begin with.

He half hated that he’d chosen to put the song on the record. Of course, everyone had fallen in love with it. It was an emotional love song. A wonderful ballad. At least two top-notch artists had asked to record it, to which he’d declined. He’d written the song, poured his soul into it, and he had no interest in letting someone else try to convey the feelings it possessed. But damned if he was ready to throw all that out to the world to hear.

The absence of footsteps tracking across the wooden floor and lack of whisper from the TV had Tyler scouting the house for Sera when he came out of the bathroom.

A look in the living room and kitchen showed no signs of her. Her bedroom door had been ajar when he passed so he knew she wasn’t hiding in there again either. A bit of worry and irritation came when he stepped outside and didn’t find her on the porch or in the yard.

Fearing maybe she’d left without saying goodbye, he went back to her room and saw her nightgown strewn over the end of the bed. Personal items still littered the dresser. It didn’t appear she’d left for good, but then he couldn’t count anything out when it came to the things she did. He’d never imagined she’d walk away from their relationship without something to say, but she had.

Needing a break from the place that was a constant reminder of the only woman he ever loved, he got in his truck and headed to town. He made it a little over a mile down the road when he saw her walking. A laugh fell out of his mouth. Again it seemed that fate had stepped in and placed the very thing he was running from right in his path.

Slowing about thirty feet away, he enjoyed the gentle twist of her hips and swinging of her arms in perfect rhythm as her feet tapped lightly against the gravel road. It wasn’t until he stopped completely that she turned around, showing a face full of trepidation. What he’d do to know what was going through her mind. Did she really hate him? She had every right to. Or was she both happy and sad to see him at the same time? More importantly, did she still love him? In any possible way? She had no reason to, but he couldn’t help but hope that what they’d shared had been too special, too meaningful just to evaporate into air. At least, it had been that way for him.

He rolled down his window. “Going somewhere?”

• • •

Sera inhaled a deep breath through her nose and held it for a moment. If Tyler didn’t stop sneaking up and scaring the shit out of her, she was liable to make a complete fool of herself. Crossing her arms over her chest, she glanced down. She needed some space. She couldn’t go through the day holed up in the house with him again and she’d go stir crazy if she tried to stay in her room any longer. Every time she looked at him she felt a pull. Longing for the familiarity that they shared tugged her one way, while her broken heart pushed her the other. She tried to be angry because that at least felt good for a few seconds, but then as soon as it disappeared she remembered all the good times they’d had.

She was a mess. Heck, she was a mess without Tyler there. Add him into the equation and she felt like a blooming freak show. “I needed to go into town.”

“Did you consider driving? It’s five miles there and back.”

No
, she thought. Actually it had never crossed her mind. She’d sold her old car after getting back from Afghanistan. With most things on base within walking distance she saw no need to rush out and buy another and since she’d only been back in Cobb City a week, she hadn’t even considered it yet. “I don’t have a car,” she answered.

“All you had to do was ask. You’re welcome to mine anytime.”

She eyed the large vehicle in front of her. That definitely wasn’t happening. Giving him a prudent face, she said, “Oh, I can imagine myself driving this bus. No, thanks!”

With a goofy grin and a tilt of his head, he said, “All right then, hop in. The bus will at least give you a lift.”

Her shoulders sagged as she walked around the front of the truck and opened the door. Hoisting herself up at least two feet off the ground, she sank down in the bulky leather seat and buckled her seatbelt. She really hated his truck, or rather the vision of the blonde in the video riding in the exact place she was now sitting. The woman smiled flirtingly over at Tyler, her full red lips licking each other as if she were a sex kitten ready to pounce. Sera had no idea who the actress was, but was certain she hated her too.

“So where are we headed?” he asked, forcing her to look up at the gravel road ahead.

“The bank, grocery store, and post office, but you can just drop me off at the bank. I can manage from there. Maggie will bring me home when she gets off work.”

• • •

Stopping in front of the post office, Tyler saw the slip of annoyance Sera gave him as she got out of the truck. She wasn’t happy about his refusal to simply leave her at the bank like she asked. However, he saw no point in making Maggie run her around when he was plenty capable of doing it. She didn’t appear as irritated when he drove to the grocery store, and even waited for him to catch up when he got out and followed her in. Tagging behind, he watched her shop with a curious eye. Trash bags, toothpaste, bread, and cheese; she dumped them all into the little red basket she carried around after reading each of their labels. Tyler didn’t spend much time in grocery stores—he was never in one place long enough to need much—so this task was actually pretty fun. He was especially entertained watching a lady in the produce aisle feeling up a head of lettuce. When the lady walked away, he gave Sera a wave of his eyebrow. Her cheeks rolled into dimpled balls, but she held back the laughter trying to escape.

“Was she feeling for lumps?” he whispered, when they stopped by the apples. “I swear she fingered the stuff like a man touching a woman’s breast.”

A small chuckle broke free, turning her cheeks a cute shade of pink. She covered her mouth, wrangling it in, but it was too late. Hearing her first genuine laugh since their reunion somehow stitched up a wound inside he didn’t know he had. He couldn’t pass up the opportunity to rile her up some more and hear it again when they passed the cantaloupe. Picking up two he held them to his chest and grinned at her excitedly.

“Put those down,” she spat. “You’re embarrassing, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. You’ve told me a million times.”

He loved to tease her. She was the outgoing, always-ready-to-say-what-was-on-her-mind, it-didn’t–matter-who–was-around type—but he never failed to bring a smile to her face.

They were in the truck on their way to the bank when he started wracking his brain for a way to extend their time together. Some of the tension was beginning to fade and for a few moments in the grocery store it had been much like old times, with the two of them cutting up and having fun. But as soon as they pulled to a stop, Sera thanked him for the ride, said she’d see him later, and got out. Frustrated that once more she’d bailed as soon as it seemed they were forming some kind of truce, he sat thinking about how much she’d changed. Aside from her rock throwing, she wasn’t anything like the spunky woman he remembered and he wasn’t sure he’d ever get around to having the talk that they should have had three years ago if something didn’t give.

Sitting in the spot where she’d left him, he rolled down the window when the bank door opened and Sera walked back out. “Hey. Everything all right?” he yelled.

“Yeah, Maggie won’t be off for almost an hour. She’s going to meet me at Merv’s.”

Feeling as if he’d finally caught a break, he threw back, “That’s where I was headed.”

Situated in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, Cobb City lacked almost everything except charm. Not that it was desolate. It had all the things a small town needed. There was even a five-man police force that patrolled the streets, as well as a few small businesses that came and went over the years. There were also a few places that had come and planted roots. The Dairy Freeze was a favorite spot far past the county line and Riley’s Auto Parts didn’t seem to have a problem staying afloat. Neither did Merv’s.

“Well, look who the cat drug in,” Merv drew, as Tyler and Sera walked through the tiny hometown bar’s door. “Sera, I heard you were back in town, but Ty—man, I haven’t seen you in ages.”

Merv shook Tyler’s hand before turning to Sera and gathering her between his burly arms for a hug. The overgrown beard and belly reminded her of a redneck Santa, minus the white hair and red suit. He was a jolly sort of fellow too, happy and ready to help anyone that came in.