Dragonfly (17 page)

Renee didn’t say anything as I drove. She just shook and rocked in her seat. I cranked up the radio and tried not to think of Julian silent, trapped in that car. His art, his plans. I couldn’t think of him not being able to pursue his dreams, or worse. Never joking with me again, never touching me…

By the time we reached Renee’s house, I was almost in a panic myself. I didn’t even kill the engine as she climbed down and shuffled to her door. I pulled out of the driveway before she made it inside and sped back to the road.

The short drive felt like hours, and each red light lasted an eternity. There was so much traffic on the streets in Fairview, it felt like spring break. I wished I knew a back route to the hospital, and by the time I arrived, the boys were already in separate emergency room units with parents called.

Jack and Rachel had the details when I found them. Julian had taken the brunt of the accident. Brad was awake but being held overnight for observation. The doctors were concerned he might have a concussion.

Julian hadn’t regained consciousness at all. I thought I would throw up when I heard the words. I had to see him, to be with him. Rachel was calmer, knowing Brad was out of danger, and as the nurses prepared to move him to a private room, I heard his dad blustering down the hallway.

“Where’s my boy? Damned sports car. That piece of shit’s headed to the junkyard.”

Mr. Brennan’s way of filling a room made my stomach even more sick, but Jack stepped forward and shook hands with him, giving him the details of the accident. We didn’t really know what had caused it; he left out the part involving the flask, although I was sure the doctors could tell alcohol was involved. I had been popping peppermints since we arrived.

The three were slowly making their way down the hall in the direction of Brad’s new room when I saw Julian’s mom running toward me.

“Anna! Oh, my god! What happened?” Her face was ashen, and I rushed to her. “How is he?”

“I’m not sure, Ms. LaSalle. Jack and Rachel beat me here. I took Renee home.”

“Where is he? Who’s in charge?”

“Dr. Hayes?” I said unsure. “They have him in one of the ER rooms, but I really don’t know more than that. He hasn’t regained consciousness yet.”

She made a little noise, and her face went completely white. She seemed to be falling, but Jack appeared from behind to catch her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, grasping his shoulder and backing into a chair.

“Jack, this is Julian’s mom,” I said. “Can you tell her what’s happening?”

He told her what the doctors had said before I arrived. Julian hadn’t regained consciousness, and they were checking him for signs of serious internal injuries. Until he awoke and could answer questions, they were monitoring his condition. I sat next to Ms. LaSalle and put my hand on her arm as she breathed deeply.

“I’ll stay with you,” I told her. She nodded and rose to find the doctor.

Jack sat in her empty chair and took my hand.

“I’ll stay, too,” he smiled. “As long as you need me. I know you’re worried about your friend.”

I nodded and tried to smile back. “Thanks. For all of this. You’ve been so great, and I know you and Julian aren’t especially close.”

“Yeah, but Brad’s my friend, and I know you care about Julian. Besides, I’ve gotten a little experience with hospitals lately.”

I squeezed his hand and chewed my lip, watching the busy scene. My nerves felt totally frayed. I was worried, and I couldn’t stand not knowing what was happening. I wanted to go in and wait at his bedside—to greet his eyes when they opened, to know he was okay. I needed to be closer to him. My chest ached so badly just sitting out here. His mother was at the nurse’s station gesturing toward Julian’s room, and I turned to Jack.

“It’s okay,” I said, standing. He stood with me. “I’ll call you tomorrow and check in.”

His brow lined. “Sure?”

I nodded and stole over to where Ms. LaSalle was. The nurses argued with her, but they took her back to Julian’s room. No one noticed as I quietly followed them. Fewer people were scurrying around now, and I waited behind a curtain until everyone went back to their stations.

Inside Julian’s room, his mother sat at his bedside, holding his hand. I didn’t expect my reaction to the sight of him lying there, pale and lifeless with tubes and wires running toward him. My breath caught as tears flooded my eyes. Pain and fear gripped me hard, and my thoughts echoed his mother’s prayers.

“Oh, God, please. Don’t take him from me.” Ms. LaSalle wept. “He’s all I have.”

She put her head down on his bedside. I inhaled a shaky breath and walked forward slowly. I placed my hand on her arm. She needed someone right now.

“Julian is strong and healthy,” I said. “I know he’ll pull through. He has to.”

She nodded and smiled, sitting up and grabbing a tissue, trying to be strong. “I suppose I should be worrying about how we’ll pay for all of this.”

I leaned over and hugged her.

“Don’t worry about that now. Try not to think about it. Try to focus on him getting better.”

She relaxed some and placed her head against my arm, still stroking the top of Julian’s hand on the bedside.

“Want to get some coffee or something?” I said. “I’ll find you if anything changes.”

“I don’t know if I should leave him…”

“I’ll be here.”

She nodded and went to the door, and I was alone with Julian, listening to the beeping sound of the monitors and staring at his closed eyes. I looked at his dark hair and motionless body. Fear tightened my chest, and I said my own silent prayer. I leaned forward and slid my hand under his and held it.

“Oh, Julian. Please be okay,” I whispered, leaning forward on the bed. I slid my fingers across the top of his hand, across the little dragonfly, and for a moment, I had the strangest urge to kiss it. But I didn’t.

“This is all your fault,” I said in my best bantering tone. “You had to show off. Now you’ll be lucky if you finish your runner. And I’ll lose a night’s sleep holding your hand.”

Nothing changed, and my face broke. I laid my head on the bedside as the sobs shook my shoulders. The sound of beeps punctuated the background, and the idea that he might never wake up pushed into my brain. I panicked at the thought.

“Oh, Julian. Please. Please wake up.” I whispered, my chest painfully tight, eyes damp. “I love you.”

My eyes closed at the words I’d never allowed myself to say. For a moment I waited, allowing them to have a place in my mind. Then I stood and paced the small room. I had to get a grip. It hadn’t even been four hours since the accident, and I was giving up. I was pouring out my heart to him like it was a deathbed confession, and he could wake up at any moment. For all I knew, he could be awake right now and playing with me. I leaned over his face and looked closely at his eyes. Wishful thinking.

I decided to walk back to the lobby and get a drink of water, because I was clearly going crazy back here alone. I texted Mom as I walked slowly, explaining what had happened in as neutral terms as possible and telling her I planned to spend the night here. I couldn’t believe how easily she agreed. I was about to text back when I was distracted by voices speaking in urgent tones in a back corner of the ICU. One was Ms. LaSalle, and for a second I stood in the shadows trying to place the other, male voice. It was so familiar…

“I came as soon as I heard. Is there anything I can do?” I peeked around the corner to see Bill Kyser! He was embracing Julian’s mom, and she was holding onto him as if they were more than friends. She rested her head on his chest.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” she breathed. “I wouldn’t have called you, but… It means a lot.”

He raised his hand and lightly touched the side of her cheek. It was so intimate, I felt like I must be dreaming. Had I fallen asleep? I had never seen Mr. Kyser so gentle with anyone.

“Try not to worry,” he said softly. “I’m sure he’ll be okay.”

“I can’t lose him, Bill. He’s all I have.”

Ms. LaSalle inhaled sharply as if she were fighting tears again, and Mr. Kyser’s arms tightened around her. He kissed her head, and his voice was tender and soothing.

“Stop now. You know that’s not true. I know you’re scared, but listen to me. Julian is going to be fine.”

As if remembering something, she stepped away from him, wiping her tears with her hands and clearing her throat, pushing her hair back and straightening her blouse.

“I was so sorry to hear about Lucy,” she said, her tone more formal. “I wanted to let you know I felt terrible about what happened.”

He nodded. “She’s doing better. And it seems to have ended things.”

“When Julian told me he was seeing her, I was afraid I’d have to call you. I didn’t know what to do. Lucy’s such a pretty girl, and she’s so sweet. So like Meg. I didn’t see a way out of it besides—”

“That’s all over now,” he said.

She nodded, and he took her hand, pulling it to his lips. She closed her eyes and looked down. They stood holding hands for a long moment, and then reluctantly it seemed, he released her.

Ms. LaSalle turned her back to him and spoke. “How are you?” she said. “I haven’t seen you in a while, but you look… good.”

Mr. Kyser’s blue eyes were as open as I’d ever seen them. It was almost heartbreaking the way he looked at her, like her voice was a cool drink of water on a burning hot day. I felt embarrassed like I was reading someone’s diary, but he cleared his throat.

“The same. Business, the kids. Lucy’s always in trouble, but the boys seem to have good heads on their shoulders. Will’s a bit ambitious, but Jack never disappoints.”

“I saw him tonight. So handsome,” she glanced at Mr. Kyser and smiled. “Like you at that age… very much the white knight.”

Those words seemed to cause him pain.

“Will he go into medicine?” she asked.

“What?” Mr. Kyser frowned. “Oh, no. Jack’s going into business with me.”

“Of course,” she nodded. “Just, seeing him here reminded me of Dr. Weaver.”

Mr. Kyser turned and his eyes landed on me standing behind the curtain. I had been trying to go back to Julian’s side, but I was frozen in place by the scene playing out in front of me. He straightened and immediately became the Mr. Kyser I knew.

“I’d better go,” he murmured and gestured ever so slightly in my direction.

“What?” Ms. LaSalle seemed stunned, and I felt terrible that I’d stayed. I didn’t know what in the world I’d stumbled upon, but I did know these two were historic loners. Yet they clearly knew each other on an intimate level. Then I came along and screwed it all up. I tried to run back to Julian.

“Anna? Is that you?” Ms. LaSalle called me out from the shadows.

“Uh, yes, ma’am. I was coming to get a drink of water. I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s all right. Mr. Kyser and I are old friends. We both went to high school together, and Bill has known Julian since he was a little boy.”

He has?

“Anna.” Mr. Kyser nodded in my direction. I smiled and nodded back.

“Right,” I said. “Well I’m just, you know, looking for the water fountain. I’m sorry.”

“Goodnight,” Mr. Kyser said. “Goodnight to you both, and Alex, please don’t worry about this. I’ll take care of it.”

Was he talking about the hospital bill?

“I can’t let you do that,” she protested.

“It’s the least I can do.” He glanced at me. “Julian took care of Lucy when… well, when she had her accident. Think of it as my way of saying thank-you.”

“It’s too much.” She took his arm and pulled him away from where I was standing. I tried to stop listening and look for the water fountain.
Where was it?

“Let me take care of this, Lex,” he insisted, and I heard Ms. LaSalle protest again.

“You’d better go,” she said. “Dr. Hayes is working tonight, and if he sees us together, it might raise questions.”

“Travis Hayes? I’d like to see him try and make trouble.”

“Please, Bill.”

“I’m taking care of this.”

“Fine. I just… I don’t want it to turn into anything more.”

“When have you ever had to worry about that?” His voice was gentle, and I heard movements. I wondered if he would kiss her. I was still looking at the floor, the wall, the ceiling—anything!—when I heard Ms. LaSalle approaching me. I turned and smiled to greet her.

“I’m sorry about that, Anna. I don’t have any family left in the area, and Bill and I have known each other a long time,” she said. “He just came to check on us.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for!” I said quickly. “I’m sorry I interrupted your conversation. I really am.”

We went back to Julian’s room to wait and pray for him to come around. Julian’s mom took the recliner, and I sat in the chair beside his bed. My head was so full of all that had happened, I wasn’t sure I could be still, and the nurses would be coming in and out all night, monitoring his condition. But I must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing I knew it was morning, and I could feel a hand on the back of my head. I sat up and it dropped to the mattress. Julian’s eyes slowly opened.