Double Cross (39 page)

Callie took a halting step towards me, then another. My
whole body froze with a wary stillness. What was she doing?

'You're trying to make me hate you,' she said softly.
'But it won't work, Tobey. I think you hate yourself
enough for both of us.'

'Just go away, Callie.'

'D'you really mean that?'

'Yes.'

'Would you like me to go away for good?'

'
Yes!
' I shouted. I started down the stairs again.

'D'you wish I'd been killed?' Callie called after me. 'Is
that what you're trying to say?'

Her words tripped me up so badly, I had to grab hold of
the banister to stop myself from pitching forward. The
breath caught in my throat. I couldn't move. My brain kept
telling my feet to keep going. Go down the stairs, one step
at a time. Run. But all signals seemed to stop at my heart. I
heard Callie descending the stairs behind me. She moved to
the step below mine so she could look up into my face.

'And if you really hate me so much, then why did you
come to see me almost every day in the hospital – even if
it was only for a few minutes?'

'How did you know that?' I whispered.

'You just confirmed what Mum told me,' said Callie.

I didn't answer. I watched her, unable to take my eyes
off her face.

'Tobey, you may be my mender of broken things, but
now it's my turn.'

'Callie Rose, you don't know who I am any more,' I
whispered. 'You don't know the things I've done since
you got shot.'

'So tell me,' said Callie.

'You'll hate me.'

'Never happen.'

But I couldn't take that chance. Maybe one day, but not
today. I started to shake my head.

'Tobey, just tell me this,' said Callie. 'All the things you
think I'll loathe you for, you did them for me, didn't you?'

I didn't reply. I sat down on the hard, cold concrete
stair, too tired to even stand any more. Callie sat beside
me, just as close as she could get.

'How was your date last night?' she asked.

'Fine.'

'Liar. You walked round the block and went back home.'

'How d'you know that?' I asked, stunned.

'I was in Mum's bedroom. I was looking up at the
nearest star and wishing. And when I looked down you
were just going back inside your house,' said Callie. 'So I
got my wish.'

I closed my eyes. It didn't make any difference. I had to
make her see that. I forced myself to look at her, bracing
myself for her reaction to what I was about to say.

'Callie, because of me five people are dead, Dan is
facing the rest of his life on the run or in prison, and you
almost died.'

'But I didn't.' Callie took my face in her hands, her
expression now sombre. But she hadn't looked away. Not
once. 'Tobey, I didn't die. I'm right next to you. And as
for the rest, we'll face that together.'

'No way. I'm in Hell and I'm not dragging you down
with me. I have to do this alone.'

'No, you don't—'

'Five people, Callie Rose. Five people are dead because
of my actions.' I pulled away from her. 'How do I get past
that? How do I even try?'

'Tobey, look at me.'

But I wouldn't. I couldn't.

'Because of me, Nana Jasmine and Uncle Jude died,'
said Callie softly. 'D'you hate me for that?'

My head snapped up. I shook my head. I could no
more hate Callie than I could sprout wings and fly. Callie
and I regarded each other, sharing something deeper and
wider than the silence around us. She leaned forward
to kiss me. Her lips were warm on mine, but I didn't
respond.

'If you tell me to go away, I will,' she said, pulling back
slightly. 'If you really don't want me any more, I'll leave.
But if you do dump me, I'll just spend the rest of my life
wishing that I hadn't come out of my coma.'

Callie's words ripped straight through me.

'Don't say that,' I said furiously. 'Don't ever say that
again.'

'It's the truth. I couldn't bear to think that we'll never
be together again,' she said, adding with a faint teasing
note to her voice, 'Besides, you're my sexbot, no one
else's. I saw you first.'

I stared at her. 'You remember? The two of us together,
you remember?'

'I remembered the day after I woke up out of my coma.
I still don't remember the day of the shooting. My doctor
said that may never come back,' said Callie. 'But I
remember the night before. I remember every detail. I
remember you.'

There was a time when that was all I longed for.

'It's not enough. Not any more.' I started to turn away,
but Callie's hand pulled my face back towards hers.

'Tobey, tell me the truth. D'you want me to go?'

Slowly, I shook my head.

'Why not?' asked Callie gently.

Somehow my hand found its way to her face. My
fingers stroked against her cheek.

'Because I love you,' I whispered at last.

Everything else I'd known or believed in lay in ruins at
my feet. Except for that. That was the only thing that
hadn't changed. Callie hugged me, her arms tight around
me like she'd never let me go.

She said softly, 'You and me, Tobey, against the world.'

My head on her shoulder, I did something I hadn't done
in years and years. The one thing I thought I'd never do
again.

I cried.

HEATHCROFT HIGH SCHOOL NEWSLETTER

Congratulations to the following students who have been
accepted into university to read the subjects listed:

Other News

Our school is particularly proud to announce the opening
of the Meadowview Shelter, set up and partially funded by
one of our students, Tobey Durbridge. The shelter will
provide support, help and information for those who seek
drug and/or alcohol addiction rehabilitation.