Don't Wake Me if I'm Dreaming (31 page)

“Scott,” I whispered, remembering the forest dreams before my car accident.

“I see you still have a sense of humor.” She smirked. “I’m sorry to barge in here, but I noticed your dad and Matt in the lobby. Did you want to be alone?”

I shook my head no, trying to will my body to move making room for her.

Aimee crawled up at my side and wrapped her arm around me. Her beautiful green eyes looked tired. I could tell my time here had taken a toll on her.

“I love you,” I whispered, not wanting her to let go of me.

“I love you more.”

I
t had been nine days since I had woken from my long slumber and my second day home before I decided it was time I contacted Doctor Chiaki. After the fit I threw in her office the last time I had seen her, I anticipated she wouldn’t be too keen about the idea of seeing me again; however, she allowed me another visit to her office and reluctantly heard me out.

I sought comfort in telling her everything I could remember from the moment I was in the accident until I woke. I even told her that I had such strong feelings for Jack that it was damaging my relationship with Matt; and that after believing I had lost Matt and grieved over his death, that it left me feeling completely disconnected from him. There was no way I could live with such a secret, and nobody on earth aside from her would understand how real my dreams were. Reluctantly, and to my surprise she helped me come to the conclusion that the sleeping pills only masked the truth, and that they didn’t really make things go away, they just kept me from seeing critical information pertaining to the future and had messed with my visions of the car accident.

With that in mind, I returned home from her office to rest and tucked my little blue pills in the nightstand intending to use them as little as possible.

I had many changes in store after waking. Although Matt hardly left my side during the last nine days, which I was slightly annoyed with, Jack remained fresh in my thoughts. And, despite the guilt I felt thinking of him, wanting him; each memory of Jack inspired me in every aspect of my new life. I made a bucket list without order; buy a plantation, adopt a dog, learn to ride a bike, rock climb, possibly even skydive—conquering my fear of heights. I also had the desire to travel through Europe possibly South America and fill my empty passport book. I wanted to take up dancing again, and even play the piano. I needed a major overhaul in my life, without procrastination. First, however, I needed to buy a new car.

On a Tuesday, nineteen days after I was home, I had told Matt about my desire to travel, as in wanting to leave tomorrow on vacation. He booked an impromptu flight to the Grand Bahamas, which meant we had fourteen hours to book a room and be at the airport.

The vacation in my mind would be a critical bonding prerequisite for our relationship to exist since I woke completely disconnected from him. I didn’t want to give up on us all together, not with how passionately he loved me, but I didn’t feel I loved him the same way I once had. That burning desire to be with him wasn’t there any longer, and when he touched me—it almost felt awkward, sort of like a friend putting an unexpected move on you—it was bearable because you’re comfortable with them, but strained because you don’t feel the same way as they do. I needed to be certain, though, before walking away. And it didn’t help matters that every time we touched, I thought of Jack, feeling like I was cheating on him.

Between the cab ride and our short flight to the Bahamas, I managed to drink enough mini cocktails to not only relax, but also wash away my anxiety of flying in a small hopper plane.

Matt carried our luggage to the front door of the bungalow hut we planned to inhabit the next five days, and then returned to our rental golf cart to collect me. He gave me a piggyback ride the short distance across the wooden planks into our hut.

I smiled, looking around the room. “It’s so Gilligan’s Island,” I said of the small open living space with bamboo flooring and walls.

Beautiful tropical plants and orchid arrangements spread across the interior. A grass Lei draped the front door like garland. The windows were curtained with chiffon, drawn to the side with the same material ties.

“Look at the fruit bowl on the table.” I walked over picking up a star fruit. “This is all so... cute,” I said, then kissed Matt on the cheek. “Thank you for escaping with me. I ‘ve been past due for a getaway.”

“Let’s check out the bed.” His smile was untrustworthy looking at the far corner of the room.

“I’m going to grab some water, my throat’s bugging me again. Are you thirsty?”

“Sure.”

I peeled off my shirt leaving on my bra, heading to the kitchen nook for water. “I never thought such a place existed more humid than North Carolina. I feel like I have condensation in my nose.”

“Do you need help taking off your pants?” He beamed noticing my shirt on the counter.

I returned the smile, collecting the water bottles from the mini fridge. “No food, just the fruit, and water. I didn’t even think of that.”

“We have room service from the main lodge and there’s a few places to eat nearby, and a market. We can head into town and load up on groceries.”

“Mmm, I bet there’s fresh fish and produce.” I glanced at the tiny burner that sat on the small kitchen counter. “We’ll figure something out.” I handed him a water bottle then followed him to the bed.

He flopped down sprawling, and I crawled to his side.

“Just a little love is all you need,” he sang, “all you need is love, just a little love.”

“You’re such a dork.”

“But I have a hot girlfriend, so I can care less.”

“I could lay here and never move again.” I stretched out with my arms above my head, not wanting my clammy skin to stick to his.

“I bet I can convince you to move.” He grinned, taking the cap off the water bottle, letting a few drops drip on my stomach.”

“That’s cold!” I squirmed a little. “But it feels good.”

He leaned over, slowly licking the water from my skin. “Tastes salty like the ocean.”

“Speaking of ocean maybe we can go for a swim and cool down? It’s like a million degrees in here.”

“Let’s do it. The water looks badass.” He jumped back up and pulled me up to my feet.

We changed into our swimming suits then headed to the back door. I carefully pulled my hair up hiding my scars from the sun and followed him onto a long narrow dock, leading out over the water.

“I wish I could turn this view into a painting. It’s truly picturesque.” I slowed mid-walk to enjoy the view.

“That would be cool.”

“This,” I hugged him, “I’ve needed this for a very long time.” I looked over his shoulder, unsure of how to get to the water.

Matt lifted me into his arms securing us together with a malicious grin, stepping toward the edge of the dock.

“
Matt
, don’t you dare!” I inhaled and held my breath as he plunged, submerging us in the warm water.

We broke apart and I opened my eyes looking around the water. It was intensely beautiful and clear. I swam looking at the brightly colored fish before resurfacing for air.

Both wiping water from our eyes he asked, “Doesn’t it burn your eyes?”

“Oh yeah. It’s really salty.” I felt my eyes tear up a little trying to gain focus in the blazing sunlight.

“Man, we should’ve rented snorkeling gear. I bet we can find somewhere nearby that has some.”

“Not just yet, it feels too good to get out.” I laid my head back and floated on the surface, slowly stroking my arms. “Hey, there’s not sharks or jellyfish in this area, right?” I glanced at him.

He looked at me twisting his lips to the side. “Excellent question. Wish I knew the answer.”

We both laughed, nervously.

“How do we get back up to the hut?” I treaded the water thinking we’d have to swim to shore, but noticed a ladder at the end of the dock. “Look!” I pointed under the dock. A bright yellow Kayak was tied to one of the posts floating underneath the dock with a Jet Ski tied to the post adjacent to it. “Are those ours to use?” I asked.

“Sure are. I rented them and requested they be delivered. Want to cruise around?”

“Of course!”

He swam to the Jet Ski and lifted the seat. “I hope these fit. The guy said they are adjustable.” Matt removed the life jackets. “It’ll be easier to put them on when you’re out of the water.”

He climbed on and lifted me up behind him, then untied the Jet Ski from the dock.

“Fits perfect.” I wrapped my arms around him and scooted as close to him as possible.

“Hang on tight, babe. We’re going balls to the walls!” He started up the engine.

“Any tighter and you won’t be able to breathe!” I assured him.

We quickly accelerated, blazing across the smooth surface of the water. The warm air beat against my skin and the rush was out of this world.

I tightened my arms around Matt enjoying the moment with him, but thoughts of Jack surfaced, the fun we would have on a Jet Ski together. He would’ve had a blast splashing around, exploring foreign territory, and of course he would’ve wanted to pull into a small cove to make love on the seat.

“Time to get wet,” Matt shouted, then whipped the handle back and forth creating a splashing wave. We shot off then turned around and hit the wake, jumping, soaking both of us.

“I’m going to fall off!” I was laughing so hard I could barely hold on to his vest as he whipped us around into jumping spins. It felt good. Maybe I could find my love for Matt again. Did I want to?

“Let’s go check out the far end of the beach!” He turned us around and shot out across the water again.

I pushed those thoughts aside for later.

We traveled far enough from shore to not disrupt swimmers, but close enough for a view of each passing beach. Matt slowed and pointed across the water. “Check that out, dolphins.”

“Oh, stop! I want to swim with them.”

“They won’t let you get that close, they’re wild.”

He cut the engine so we could watch them swim.

I jumped into the water, swimming toward the dolphins, but they were further away than I thought, or at least were swimming out further from me.

He swung his leg over, sitting on the seat. “Am I going to have to jump in and rescue you?”

“Just give them time to check us out.” I treaded water looking around, but they had swum from sight. “Where are they?”

Matt was smiling. “Shh.” He held his finger to his mouth.

I tried moving as little as possible, glancing around.

A dorsal momentarily surfaced about fifteen feet away, and then we heard a clicking sound on the other side of us.

“They’re checking us out,” he said.

“How many are there?”

“Three, I think.”

A smooth rubbery bottlenose popped from the water about ten feet from my reach. It was looking at us, making a shrilling squeak and clicking sound.

I looked back at Matt completely ecstatic.

A fourth dolphin jumped from the water about twenty yards away with a splash, then resurfaced only a few yards from us, curiously bobbing its head before swimming off. When their curiosity appeared fulfilled they swam about thirty yards from us before disappearing from sight.

“We need to get some fish or something to feed them so they’ll come back,” I said, glowing with excitement. I removed my life jacket, handed it to Matt, then took a deep breath, and dove.

I could hear several clicking and humming sounds under the water. The dolphins were fishing. I swam in their direction, but they wouldn’t allow me to come near them.

I resurfaced for air.

“Come on, babe. We can pick up some fish and come back out here later. I bet they’ll eat from our hands.”

I swam to the Jet Ski.

Matt lifted me from the water and handed me the life jacket. “I’m sorry. I bet there’s a place where we can swim with them, we’ll have to ask around.”

We ventured further down the shore, reaching a secluded cove. Matt turned off the engine and climbed into the water, securing the Jet Ski in the shoreline.

“I wonder which beach we’re on?” I asked, removing my life jacket.

“Who cares, we’re alone.” He took off his vest then hugged me.

“Eww, we’re all sticky from the dried saltwater and humidity.”

“Look.” He pointed up. “Coconuts in the tree. I bet I can climb and grab one.”

“I’m not a coconut expert, but I’m pretty sure they fall to the ground when ripe.” I walked up next to a tree and found a coconut, giving it a shake.

“Too bad I don’t have my pocket knife on me.” Matt grabbed another coconut. “I bet I could drive the key into it.”

“And break it to leave us stranded…. No thanks!” I smirked. I sorted through a few rocks until I found a large rock with a sharp edge. I threw the coconut down on it as hard as I could, but it rolled aside.

Matt laughed. “Nice try.”

“Oh hush. I’d like to see you try, macho man Mattie Savage!”

Matt lifted the coconut above his head and slammed it into the rock, cracking the green outer shell. He picked up a smaller, sharp rock, and then forcefully struck the coconut a several times before breaking the rock.

“Maybe we can just buy one that’s already split,” I suggested.

“After all this effort. Hell, no.” He found another sharp rock on the ground and slammed it through the shell. “And that’s how you crack a coconut.” He handed me the half filled with milk.

“Okay, okay, you win.” I picked out the shell fragments then took a sip, leaving some for him.