Don't Read in the Closet: Volume Four (39 page)

and turned to face his Gustav. They shared a comforting kiss. Tahir

pulled free and sank down against the cushions tossed before the open

balcony doors.

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Gustav bit his lower lip. They had developed odd rituals; when

Tahir wanted to reveal a crucial memory, he retreated to his cushion

oasis. Gustav had tossed the cushions there in order to embrace, sip

wine and watch the changing sky pass judgment. He never realized

their nest would become Tahir’s private confessional.

The king poured them more wine and settled onto the cushion

next to his lover. Gustav allowed himself one swift caress against

Tahir’s tense back. He waited. What evil memory tainted this night?

Minutes spent watching the sky’s freedom passed. Tahir’s left

fingers grasped Gustav’s right hand. Gustav gave his lover’s flesh a

loving squeeze. Good, physical contact had been re-established.

Another confessional rule; no devoted embraces. Touches, yes, but no

hugs, not during the telling. Gustav detested the rule but he abided by

it. Tahir claimed if Gustav held him close, he escaped into physical

passion, not spiritual healing.

Gustav understood his precious lover was unusual, perhaps a

touch mad. Never dangerous, no, except to himself. If Tahir had been

dangerous, Jan would have warned Gustav. The king accepted this

truth. Jan sensed emotions like ripples wafting across a pond. Jan

understood Tahir’s need for solace.

A light breeze, hinting of fall, ghosted in and stirred the vibrant

blooms. The touch forced spent flowers to the balcony grate. Their

delicacy fluttered down to the city below. The fresh breeze wafted

Tahir’s earthy aroma to Gustav’s nostrils. He waited. Faint throat

clearing made him tense.

Tahir’s voice rasped free. “My mother owned sweet soft hands,

black hair and comforting softness. She smelled like rare white lilacs,

clean and crisp. She was my f-f-fa…” Tahir’s lips twisted. Never again

would Tahir use the word father to describe the monster. “…his third

wife, young, innocent, barely more than a child when she carried me.

He was much older. By classic bad luck, my birth injured my dainty

mother. She miscarried four times after my arrival.

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“Aside from my grandfather, mother was the only human who

cared about me. She taught me to read and write. She taught me love.

She rescued me from the punishment chest and endured beatings for

her daring actions.”

A hard wintry tone crafted from suffering and hatred fell upon

Gustav’s ears. He hoped someday Tahir’s voice could banish that

bitter tone. The vocal tone more suited a world-weary man, not a

young man with his entire life ahead of him. Tahir’s many torments

shadowed his life.

“The Curamians embrace harsh rules for their women. Wicked,

unjust rules. A male noble can enjoy a harem of lovers, but if his wife

looks at another man with a hint of desire, the husband owns the right

to kill her.

“Obviously mother bored him or I suspect her contribution of one

sickly son displeased him. Imagine, I was a frail waif, always one

breath away from death.” A hard laugh rang free. “I’d please the

monster now, eh? One morning, late summer like this, I waited in my

mother’s small sitting room. We were to have a reading lesson. I was

six. Instead of my mother, a guard fetched me. The second I viewed

the guard’s distraught face I realized something wrong. He remained

silent against my pleas. The guard took me into the grand hall and

everyone, except my grandfather, gathered there. The monster sat in

his grand chair. My poor mother stood before him. Coarse rope

cruelly bound her wrists. Tears drenched her pretty face but she

remained silent.

“I broke free from the guard, ran to mother and tried undoing the

rope biting into her wrists. I didn’t understand! She whispered she

loved me above all and smiled at me. Her warm tears fell on my face.

The monster rose from his seat and slapped me across the face. A

retainer saved me from falling and held me secure.

“The lying monster declared my mother was a w-w-whore who

dallied with guards and noble guests. I didn’t understand his words

but I sensed he lied. I tried screaming in protest but the retainer kept

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his hand across my mouth. Mother stood silently trembling. She made

no attempt to beg or plea. She knew her words useless.” Tahir halted

and allowed a shiver to sweep through his own body.

Gustav shook his head in disgust. “Tahir, please, I… you need not

tell me more.”

Tahir offered Gustav a hollow stare. His words rasped from his

tense throat. “Do you know how the monster killed mother? He

herded her down into his dungeon, stripped her naked and hung her by

her wrists. He heated his sword over a brazier and… and…he… thrust

it…ahh….” A gagging choke halted Tahir’s words. His body spasmed

in anguish. “He made me watch! I watched the monster kill my

mother! Once she ceased screaming, the monster beat me. He beat me

until I collapsed. He kicked my face and broke my nose. During his

attack he called me nothing. He told me since I was the son of a whore

I meant nothing to him. Better I die than foul his home. He locked me

down there with her dead body. My grandfather, who had been out

hunting that day, rescued me and arranged for my mother’s burial. He

took me under his protection until he died and the monster reclaimed

me. You remember what happened next.” Chains and sexual

degradation.

Gustav moaned in pain and gathered Tahir close. Gods, Tahir’s

body shook in grief. Gustav feared if he released him, Tahir might

vibrate into sorrowful pieces. “No more, my lover, tell me no more.

Wait, tell me this demon no longer walks the earth.”

As he buried his face in Gustav’s neck, a mad laugh escaped

Tahir’s lips. “Worry not; he’s banished from the living. The foul

demon holds court with his fellow Curamian warlords.”

Coldness passed through Gustav’s heart. Had Tahir killed the

monster? His strong intuition told him yes. He felt the truth in Tahir’s

tension. His lover could kill demons. Appropriate. Gustav would not

ask for a name. He sensed he did not want a name. The warlord

reference confirmed his suspicions. Tahir’s father had supported

Hainal Thane, the dreaded Usurper.

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Tahir’s father had fought to destroy Gustav.

No matter whom his lover’s father had been, Gustav refused to

hold the fact against Tahir. Never. If Tahir had killed the beast, good

riddance. Gustav ran his fingers through Tahir’s thick hair. He spun

bright beads. He hated to ask this question. “Tahir, what did my son

say to prompt this horrific memory?”

“No.”

“Your words go no further than these cushions.” Gustav expected

the next grim silence.

After releasing another deep sigh, Tahir leaned up and gazed into

Gustav’s concerned face. The hard wintry look swirled in his black

eyes. Gustav could hardly accept those eyes, normally warm and

giving, could look dead. “He claimed I was nothing. He claimed I

meant nothing to you.”

Gustav gasped in fury until he swallowed his rage. For the first

time in his years of happy fatherhood, he wanted to slap his own flesh

and blood. Useless reaction. Cast it aside. He pressed a long, adoring

kiss against Tahir’s lips. “My lover, you know the truth.”

“I do, my king. Trust me, I do. Although I have lived without

affection or… love for long years, I still recognize the gentle grace.”

Tahir kissed Gustav again. He curled back down into his lover’s

secure embrace. “You are indeed the finest man ever.”

No wonder this man saw shadows and threats in every corner. A

true monster had destroyed his life. “My fresh love for you banishes

your past. I know you, I trust you. Come, release the pain. Stop

holding in the anguish. I suspect Jan advised you to do the same thing.

Let go. Purge.”

Tahir blinked in disbelief. A lone sapling caught in a blizzard

probably shook as hard as Tahir. He inhaled a deep breath. Tears

formed in his eyes. He hadn’t cried since his mother’s death. At times

he wondered if, as he huddled in the foul dungeon, he had sobbed all

the tears from his life. Tonight the feeling of something breaking

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slammed through him. Years of torment and sorrow broke apart. This

King’s love helped him heal. Tahir released sorrow tainted by years of

suffering.

The sobs shaking Tahir’s muscular frame made Gustav hold him

close enough to feel the blood pulsating through veins. His fingers

stroked and healed. Comforting nonsense noises escaped his lips.

Evening fell across the land. Gustav watched sun-tinted clouds

wander across the proud sky until they darkened into dusk. After a

pained eternity, Tahir’s choked gasps descended into silence. Gustav

realized Tahir fell into healing sleep. He continued stroking his

lover’s damp hair. As he gazed into the purpling sky, the King

wondered if evil would ever leave Swenendia’s vast lands.

He doubted it.

THE APPOINTMENT

Six days later Gustav grimly glared at the documents sprawled

across the small council table. Tension disturbed his chest. He needed

to calm down and stop emoting all the time. “This complete lack of

disrespect toward me is intolerable. I…”

“I thought the same thing when I read this ridiculous accusation. I

have no idea why the Reglardian council refuses to listen to reason.”

A short hard laugh escaped Ainar’s throat. “The impossible Lord

Tuberclain withdrew from Stormhelm without permission. He and his

staff left earlier this morning without giving advance warning. What a

blatant insult to us! I received a message claiming Tuberclain refused

to stay when he fears for his city’s safety. The fool declared he plans

to rouse his army and march on Tovania.”

Gustav reared up to pace back and forth. His wooden chair almost

hit the floor. He wished he could kiss his Tahir and drink in his

succor. “The arrogant fool thinks Reglard is in danger from Tovania,

my second capitol city? Why? Because I repaired their castle? Have

those Northern dolts learned nothing? They glare at each other and

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point fingers. I swear that reconstructing Tovania was the most

reckless act I ever performed. I won’t endure such nonsense.”

Wait. Why sit back and negotiate? The King swung his stare

toward Ainar’s carefully expressionless face. “What say you to a little

northern jaunt?”

“To what end, my friend?”

“To frighten the dolts into compliance. I believe if we arrive with

a few hundred troops behind us, the Reglardian’s stupid behavior will

cease. Don’t look sour, Ainar. I am not declaring war on them, merely

showing them who rules this land. What do you think, send a rider

ahead of simply show up?”

“Send a small host to announce the King honors Reglard with his

presence.”

“My thoughts exactly. Select ten properly threatening-looking

guards and bid them to ride hard. We will leave tomorrow morning.

Once we arrive, I plan to sit everyone down and bang sense into their

thick northern skulls.”

“Excellent, Gustav.” Ainar clapped his King’s shoulder. “How

many divisions?”

“I don’t want to leave the city without a standing army. 300 men

sounds adequate.”

“I’ll make sure all is prepared. Will Edvin ride out with us? He

recently returned from Tovania, correct? Odd he didn’t tell you if

anything seemed amiss in the city.” Ainar almost stepped away from

his friend’s furious glare. He watched Gustav swallow in control.

“We did talk but we quarreled and departed on ill-terms. Sir