Don’t Forget to Remember Me (23 page)

“Would it be okay if I listen for awhile?”
she whispered and ran her fingers lightly along my jaw. I pressed
my cheek into her hand, wanting to feel more of her touch.

So much for my needed time alone, but I need
you more.

“Yes,
please
.” I smiled faintly and leaned in to
kiss the side of her face, breathing in her scent as my eyes
closed. Perfume, freesias and Julia. “I’ll be out of the shower in
a couple of minutes. If you want to take a bath when I’m done, I’ll
wait for you to finish before I start playing. Yes?”

She nodded and ran a hand down my arm as I
got to my feet, her fingers closing around mine as I moved
away.

God, I love her.
Being close to her like this was what I wanted, yet it was so
painful. I went into the bathroom and stripped out of my clothes,
hanging my shirt on the back of the door and letting my slacks and
boxer briefs fall on the floor. I turned on the water.

My dick was still aching.
I thought about trying to masturbate to take care of it, but it
wasn’t just sexual tension. Yes, being near her, knowing how
amazing we were together in bed and not being able to take her was
torture, but more than that, I
missed
her. There was a deep sadness behind the wanting and trying
to get myself off wouldn’t fulfill me. I doubted I’d even be able
to come that way anyway. I needed Julia and only her.
Wanted
only her.

I stepped under the cold spray and gasped at
the shock. I was tired and emotionally spent. As my erection
relaxed, I turned the water warmer to ease the ache in the muscles
of my back and neck. The stress of the long hours at the hospital,
school obligations and this constant worry were slowly driving me
insane. Normally, I’d lose myself in her softness, her velvet
touch, her soothing words and her kisses. I missed those kisses
almost more than anything else. Tonight on the dance floor
practically had me undone.

“Jesus Christ!” I swore under my breath as I
cranked the water back to ice cold and let it hit me straight in
the face. I stood under the spray until I started to shiver.

Throwing open the shower door, I quickly
grabbed a towel and immediately put it over my head and started
rubbing vigorously. Thankfully, my body was back under control and
I breathed a sigh of relief as I wrapped the towel around my waist
and started the bath for Julia. I added some of the bath salts she
loved, a remnant of the times she’d visited. My heart thumped at
the memory of our many candlelit baths together. I rushed to put on
some sweatpants and a t-shirt, and then opened the door to my room,
calling to her softly.

“Julia, I have the water running for you,
honey.”

She hadn’t moved from the couch, but now she
sat up and padded down the hall in her stocking feet. “Thank you.”
She let her hand run across my midsection as she passed and even
through the shirt, her touch burned. My stomach muscles tightened
in reaction as she disappeared into the bathroom.

I ran my hands through my
wet hair and sat down at my keyboard, contemplating what to play.
It was obvious that music triggered her memory. I was trained in
classical piano, but so much of the time, we’d picked contemporary
tunes and sometimes she’d sing along. That was what I loved best.
She had a wonderful singing voice that was mostly wasted in the
confines of her bathroom. The corners of my mouth lifted slightly
as I ran my hands over the keys in a series of chords just to warm
up. I sat there in silence for minutes, listening to the sounds in
the bathroom. The water sloshing had me aching to burst through the
door and look upon her naked body, to touch her…to
have
her. My body quickened in
desire.

I shook my head to clear
it
. Damn, Ryan. The music, remember?

This was a chance to hint
without telling her facts of her life. I looked at the ceiling as I
searched my brain for the right song.
I
knew
. I began to play the soft, slow
melody of one that she was very familiar with. In fact, it was one
that she’d bought me the sheet music for because she wanted to hear
me play. It was a simple tune, but the lyrics were
powerful.

I should have known I couldn’t play this
song without choking up. I closed my eyes, and let my fingers find
the melody, losing myself in my memories. My throat tightened; my
heart beating heavily inside my chest. The bathroom door opened
quietly, startling me from my thoughts and my hands paused over the
keys. Julia came in wearing only the shirt I’d left on the back of
the bathroom door. I was stunned by her simple beauty with her hair
piled on top of her head, and the top buttons left open to just
below her breasts, leaving the curves bare to my view. My fingers
ached to reach out and touch her, to draw her to me, but I forced
myself to resume playing as she moved toward the bed behind me, out
of my eye line.

She didn’t speak, only sat listening. My
mind raced, wondering if she recognized the song. I didn’t hear her
come up behind me, but her fingers wound through my hair and her
other hand rested on my shoulder. It was all I could do not to lean
back into her softness and feel her soft curves against me. I drew
in a shaky breath as her mouth opened on the skin at my nape, her
tongue licking my skin as she drew away.

“Will you play it again, Ryan? It’s so
haunting and beautiful…” she said softly, her lips ghosting over
me. I could feel her breath rush over my neck and ear.

I was helpless under her touch. What could I
do but bend to her will? I nodded and began the song again as she
moved carefully to my side and straddled the bench facing me, the
white shirt tails pooling between her firm thighs. I glanced toward
her as the music began. Julia leaned her forehead on my shoulder,
one hand resting on my bicep. My head snapped to the side when she
began to sing the lyrics, her other hand rubbed up and down my
back.

I was dying. The words were so powerful and
her voice caressing; feeling her so close and having her hands on
me was like a religious experience. It was all I could do to keep
my shaking hands on the keys.

When the last notes faded, we remained on
the bench, her head still resting against me. I kissed her hair and
then she moved her forehead slowly back and forth against the
muscle of my shoulder.

“Do you remember anything about that song?
Other than the lyrics?” I asked in a husky whisper, my lips still
up against the top of her head. She smelled so enticing and my body
stirred anew, but her nearness was something I had to have.

“Yes. I gave you that sheet music,
right?”

My heart leapt. “Uh huh. We’ve done this
before. I play, you sing.” I brought my arm up and around her,
pulling her closer. “Are you okay?”

“No,” she began. “I don’t think I am.” Her
voice was weak and shaking. I wasn’t sure if it was from sadness or
desire.

“Julia, what can I do to make this
easier?”

She shrugged but didn’t raise her head and
her hand reached out to slide down my thigh to the inside of my
knee.

“Tonight, dancing…it felt so right to be in
your arms, Ryan. I want more.”

I closed my eyes.
I want more too, but I don’t know if I can stop there.

My hand slid up her back, to the back of her
head and I laced my fingers through her hair. “Julia…” I
breathed.

She drew in a shaky breath, and her voice
trembled. My body betrayed me and I started to shake, even though I
struggled to hold it in.

“Ryan, I want you to touch me. You make me…”
She stopped, and squeezed my thigh, bringing her head up to meet my
eyes. “I want…I mean, when I’m near you I’m just…” Her lids dropped
halfway down and her mouth parted. I could see the same desire in
her face that I’d seen a thousand times. I knew exactly what she
was trying to say even though she was struggling with the words.
“I’m just…”

“Fucking
vibrating
?” I asked with a
groan.

“Yes,” she answered without hesitation.
“Will you touch me?” She took my hand and lifted it to her breast
and tried to arch into it. The movement still caused her pain. Her
eyes closed and she bit her lip. I let my hand slide across the
side curve of the soft flesh, over the fabric of my shirt and she
let out a small mewling moan. My body surged in response.

I turned and slid my arms around her fully,
under her legs, turning her so she was straddling my lap, facing
me, but careful not to hurt her. My muscles flexed but she was so
small, I took her weight easily.

“You’re so strong,” she whispered, her nose
nuzzling mine and her little hands moving up my chest over my
shoulders. Her lips were parted and her sweet breath rushed hotly
across my face. My body swelled even more and tented my sweatpants.
There was no hiding my desire and I didn’t want to. She needed to
know how much I wanted her. I stared into her deep green eyes and
then rested my forehead on hers.

“You don’t know what you’re asking,” I
breathed and pushed the loose tendrils off of the left side of her
face. I bent to kiss where her head injury had been, dragging my
lips across her cheekbone and down to her jaw. “Julia,” I whispered
against her silken skin. “God, I don’t know if I’m strong enough
for this. You smell so good.”

Her head fell back and she moaned.
“Uhhhhh…”

My left hand raked down her back toward her
rear and even though I knew I’d find nothing underneath, I was
still gasping as my hand wrapped around her bare butt cheek. I
pulled her closer, as I placed wet, open-mouth kisses along the
curve of her neck. When her hands slid into my hair, her fingers
grasping and tugging, I was lost. My lips found hers in a hungry
kiss, my tongue never hesitating to bury itself in the warm
recesses of her mouth.

Oh my God
. She
kissed me back with everything she had, our mouths feasting and
sucking on each other like we would never stop. Both of my arms
pulled her closer and I could feel the heat coming off of her core
and seeping through my sweats.

“Uhnnnn, God, Julia,” I moaned when she
winced slightly. “Baby, we can’t. You’re body isn’t healed enough
yet.” My mouth hovered over hers, not wanting to lose the contact.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It’s worth the pain,
Ryan. Please. I’m…
dying
.” My breath
left me in a rush as her lips reached for mine again. I kissed her
back, more softly this time. There was nothing that would make me
hurt her. No matter how my body was aching or how much I wanted
her.

Something that sounded like a sob erupted
and her hands slid down my chest, massaging the muscles. “I’ve
wanted to touch you like this, Ryan. You’re so beautiful.”

“Julia…you don’t know what
you do to me,” I groaned as one of
her hands
closed around my cock through my sweats. My head dropped to
her shoulder as she squeezed and pulled a few times up and down the
shaft, moving her thumb across the head when she got to the top.
“Stop, I can’t take it,” I begged, but she only repeated the
motion. “Ugh…”

My hands went to the back of her thighs and
I lifted her with me as I stood up, stepping over the bench. I
released her legs letting her feet touch the floor, but still
supported her weight with my arms around her back.

“Ryan, no…” she pleaded. Her hand came up to
cup my cheek. “No…please.” She shook her head frantically.

“Julia, you’re ribs will hurt if we make
love. You won’t be able to take the thrusts without pain.” I buried
my face in her neck as I spoke. “Dear God,” I groaned.

I sank back down on the bench in front of
her and ran my hands up the sides of her body under my shirt. I
didn’t unbutton it further because the site of her nakedness would
drive me insane. My thumbs brushed against both of her taut nipples
and she gasped. I kissed her breastbone and dragged my mouth toward
her right breast and nipped at the nipple through the fabric.

“Ryan, God…It’s torture.”

I turned her gently so her back was to me
and let my hands continue to roam her body, drifting down over her
concave stomach, and the soft curls at the top of her sex. My body
was so hard it hurt, the skin covering my dick so taut, I thought
it would split open. I groaned and let my head fall forward until
it rested on her back, just under her shoulder. It was a blissful,
aching torture that I never wanted to end.

My hands closed around her hipbones and I
urged her backward. “Babe, sit on my lap.” As she did as I asked,
my arms wrapped around her and I turned my face into her neck. “I’m
going to touch you but try not to move too much…I want this to be
all about pleasure. Please be still.”

My hands slid down her thighs to her knees
and I pressed them open, bringing my hands back up on the insides,
over the velvet skin. I could feel her trembling and I almost died.
“Oh, baby…I’ve missed touching you like this.” The words ripped
from my chest in a guttural groan, but I couldn’t stop them. I
moved my legs apart and with hers draped over mine, it spread her
open for me. She leaned back against my chest and dropped her head
to the curve of my neck in anticipation.

Her breath hitched as my hands resumed their
roaming, over her torso, one hand moving up to her breast to tug
and tease the hard little nipple and the other sliding down over
her stomach and further still.

The moist heat between her legs was telling
and I groaned against her, kissing her neck with my open mouth,
sucking on her skin while I let my fingers part her sensitive
flesh. She gasped as I dipped my middle finger inside her to bring
some of the slickness up to the place aching for my touch, and
started a slow pulsing rhythm.