Divided (31 page)

What was she thinking?  Leif was bleeding and injured, and
here she was admiring his body.  If she was going to prove that she was fit for
this adventure, then she would have to stop behaving like such a silly little
girl.  “Like what you see?” Leif asked jauntily. 

How had he noticed her expression?  She was sure that she
hadn’t blushed.  She had simply been making an observation that Leif’s body was
toned.  Leif could easily have been taunting her, seeing if she would take the
bait.  Well, she didn’t intend to.  “I don’t find bloody gashes very
attractive, if that’s what you’re asking, Firenz.”

Leif laughed softly, and then shrugged his shoulders.  “I
was hoping you’d pet my ego since I’m hurt and all.”

“Not going to happen.”  Leif was definitely hurt, though. 
There were two gashes intertwining along the front of his stomach, and then
there was another along the length of his back.  The stab wound in his shoulder
was contained, though seeing the dark, bloody mess made Aela a little sick.

Still, she had to make sure that he didn’t bleed out and
that meant that she had to touch and handle the blood.  The gashes were
relatively easy to treat.  She ran the heal-leaf over them before she gently
wrapped his abdomen.  The laceration across his back was deep, and his skin
peeled away from it in a rather grotesque fashion.  The blood of that cut was
much darker, and more of it spilled out when she attempted to get a better look
at it.

The only issue she had with the cuts across the front of his
body was the way they had tangled in one another.  The meeting point was a
mess, and more of Leif’s skin had been brought into the carnage.  With a quick
frown, she yanked some of the skin that hung on Leif’s body away from him.  The
injured man let out a weak yelp.  “Why did you do that?” he asked, more
accusingly than he should have.

“It was just going to get in the way when I tried to bandage
it,” she answered pragmatically.  With that, she finished wrapping Leif’s
abdomen and moved to his shoulder.  His shoulder had been pierced all the way
through, but the cut was clean, and the stab wound didn’t extend very far.  All
she could think to do was to exhaust another heal-leaf over the wound, trying
to soothe his pain, and then she wrapped that too.

When she was done, she nodded to him and felt a little
dismayed at the fact that Leif had been right—there had not been a single
movement from the other tent.  Surely if anyone had survived, they would have
called out by now, and Aela was not at all eager to go sort through dead
bodies.  “Do you feel better?” she asked.

“Much,” he answered.  He offered her a half-hearted smile
and slowly got to his feet.  Though he was bandaged, he still had to move with
careful consideration.  “I’ll go make sure that no one else survived.”

She was grateful that he took the task upon himself, and she
hung back as he started forward.  Her eyes couldn’t seem to find anywhere to
stare that didn’t reveal bloody bodies.  So, she focused on Leif’s face and
found that his expression was pained in the subtlest of ways, and she also found
that she desperately wanted to hold him, or at least touch him.  After a few
moments, she spoke to him.  “Nothing?” she asked and panicked when her voice
broke.

Leif stood and shook his head as he headed back towards
her.  “We should have slept in our armor,” he said emphatically. 

“I saw some of our armor by the oasis,” Aela answered.  She
wanted to concentrate on anything but the fact that they had just lost ten
men.  She had been unable to do anything to help them, and she had nearly lost
her life as well.  Now Leif was injured, and they would still be expected to
get to Telandus. 

Suddenly, she found herself reveling in the fact that she’d
cut her hair.  If she hadn’t, she was sure that it would be clinging to her
neck, and getting into her eyes.  Though, now, even soaking wet—it touched
neither her neck nor her eyes.  “The horses are alright too,” she told Leif deferentially.

This seemed to bring him a degree of relief, and he nodded
his thanks to her for the statement.  Before he headed back to the oasis,
though, he stopped.  “Aela, are you alright, love?” he asked softly. 

It was the pet name, she was certain, that made her guard
fall enough so that she found tears streaming down her cheeks.  Vaguely aware
that she shouldn’t, she let him pull her to him and whisper soothing words into
her ear.  Men had just died in front of her, and she was standing among their
bodies at this moment.  Leif had nearly died in front of her!  “I will take you
back to Cathalar,” he said.

“No,” she said immediately, “we will go to Telandus.  I will
not let those bastards do what they came to do.”

Despite Leif’s stiffness, he continued to hold her, running
his fingers through her short hair.  Even that felt wonderful, and being in his
arms, her panic slowly began to subside.  She only wished that she hadn’t cried
in front of him—now he’d be even more likely to think her a damsel.  After a
few more sobs, she managed to compose herself.  “We need to go make sure no one
takes the armor,” she said.

Pulling her away, Leif continued to hold her by the
shoulders.  Their eyes locked for a long moment, and neither of them said
anything.  They didn’t need to, because in that moment, Aela knew that they
were communicating precisely what the other felt.  Leif was worried, but he had
faith in Aela enough to keep going if she was willing.  Aela was nearly
hysterical, but she felt safe enough to continue in Leif’s presence.  And
neither of them wanted to be away from one another.

“We’ll go get the horses.  I know you know how to ride.  We
are going to need to take as little as we can.”

“Are you going to be able to ride in your condition?” she
asked.

He seemed to think about this for a moment.  His wounds had
not been severe enough to merit death, but Aela didn’t think she would want to
be riding a horse after being beaten so thoroughly.  Leif was much stronger
than she was, and he showed that with his next statement.  “I’ll be fine.  If I
feel like I can’t continue, we’ll just have to take it slow for a few suns.”

She thought about telling him that there was no need to
try.  Telandus wasn’t going anywhere, and they could wait until he felt more
like riding the horse—but she knew that the war was approaching, and that
waiting would do no one any good, not really.  “Just make sure you let me
know,” she said.  “Not that you’ll be able to keep up with me when you’re
better.” 

Attempting to make light of the situation seemed to be the
best idea.  She had to put this experience out of her mind if she was going to
be any use to Leif, and she desperately wanted to be of use to him.  He was
still alive, and she knew that she was partly the reason for that.  So she
would try and keep things that way.  “Is that so?” he said thoughtfully. 
“Also, you look lovely with short hair, princess.”

She felt herself grow indignant as they made their way back
to the horses, who were still waiting with less than patient expressions.

“He inspired hope and truth in those that had long since
forsaken the ideals.  And yet, never was he satisfied, never could he see it.”

-A Hero’s Peace, v.ii

Calis squeezed his forehead between two of his fingers and
let out a very long sigh.  He paced the entirety of his room, back and forth,
back and forth.  “I can’t even look at her.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am
aware that she has no dignity, and probably doesn’t expect a real relationship
any more than I do, but—she is still a person.  And I can’t even…” 

The words had been pouring from his mouth since his advisor
had entered his room a few shifts ago.  He would be expected to entertain Miss
Avyon on this particular sun, and Calis had never been less prepared for
anything.  He had spent the last few suns going into Dark District and making
sure that Kilik was recovering well enough.  He was, and he always looked
incredibly dismayed at Calis’s return.  There was something entirely charming
about that, too.

Kilik always seemed so agitated with him for arriving, and
yet there was the strangest light in his eyes that said he was surprised each
time Calis returned.  Kilik had been so stiff that sun on the horse, and Calis
knew that it had been due to more than the simple detail that the boy was
injured.  There was an assured possibility that Kilik felt the same way that
Calis did, and that thought created so much turmoil and excitement within Calis
that he could scarcely contain it.

And now he was expected to entertain some droll girl for the
entirety of the morning!  He was very glad that Lee had the decorum to come
talk to him before it all.  Lest Calis be completely insane by the end of the
engagement.  “Treat it as you always have,” Lee finally said.  “Just because
you may have developed feelings for someone else doesn’t mean that things have
changed between Lady Avyon and you.  After all, it isn’t as though you felt
anything for her before this… circumstance arose.”

Lee was right, of course.  Lee rarely spoke in a way that
was not infallible.  Calis knew that he was not as worried about the way Lady
Avyon might feel as he was about Kilik.  Naturally, Kilik would have no
knowledge of these events, nor would Calis be quick to inform him.  But—he felt
as though he was hiding something that he shouldn’t. 

Calis hadn’t the slightest idea why he cared, though.  He
had no evidence, aside from very speculative thoughts.  Nevertheless, Calis
found that he didn’t want to be in the company of a woman who would certainly
throw herself at him, when he was more than certain of his feelings for Kilik. 
“Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that I do have them for Kilik.  And, I
find myself worrying far more what he would think about this situation than I
should.”

“I would imagine Kilik would be more than supportive of you
entertaining your father’s needs.  After all, if you didn’t, the wrath would
certainly fall on his beloved Dark District.”

Calis frowned as he stopped in front of the mirror to
investigate his appearance.  He hadn’t slept much the moon before, and he could
make out the faint purple circles underneath his eyes.  “It boggles your mind
that he cares about those people, doesn’t it?” Calis asked.

Lee clicked his tongue against his teeth, but finally nodded
indistinctly.  “Rather, he boggles my mind.  He is clearly terrified of letting
himself become attached, and yet he wastes countless amounts of effort on
people that he does not know.  It makes very little sense.”  Kilik, in
retrospect, was not someone that Calis understood either.

Kilik was someone that Calis desperately wanted to
understand, and someone whose company Calis found himself constantly craving. 
“It is admirable, though,” Calis pointed out, “even if it does seem a little
naïve.”

“What is it that you like so much about him, if I may ask?”
Lee said.  He had been sitting on a chaise lounge in the corner of Calis’s
room, leaned back with relative disinterest, until in that very moment when he
sat up with a perplexed expression.  “There are any number of things that I’ve
considered.  You are, after all, still a bit of an impetuous child—so I thought
that perhaps you only like Kilik since he is the very opposite of what your
father wants.  He has no money, no position, no power—and he is a male!  But,
you don’t seem involved enough with your father to go that far.”

Calis was certain that was wrong.  His feelings for Kilik
hadn’t the slightest to do with Lavus or his expectations.  He told Lee as
much, then.  “You should know that I stopped letting my father’s expectations
of me affect my life long ago, Lee.”

An eyebrow quirked upwards as Lee nodded his head, as if
he’d come to this conclusion on his own and only wanted Calis to confirm it. 
“Then, there is the matter of the unending mystery surrounding the boy.  I
think we have all but confirmed that he is the masked vigilante, which adds an
entirely new element.  But, in addition to that, he says that he doesn’t
remember anything about his past.”

That was certainly part of it, Calis thought.  He wanted to
know more about Kilik, but he needed a reason to want to know more.  He didn’t
chase after Kilik with the sole thought of finding all of this out, as Lee may
have.  But he did want to find it out.  “I want to know the answers to those
questions, Lee.  Or those questions that you cleverly disguised as statements,
but more importantly, I just like him.  I’m drawn to him.  He is so brave, so
strong, and so competent.  And yet, something about him screams with
vulnerability.  His belief in people that will only let him down puts him at
risk.  I want to protect him.”

This seemed to bother Lee for only a moment, and then he leaned
against the silver furniture on which he currently rested.  The colors of Calis’s
room did not match the rest of the castle, for even if he had to wear the royal
colors, he did not like them.  Instead, his walls were a royal blue color, and
his carpet was an off-white shade.  The room made him feel much more at ease
than the rest of the castle, and he made sure that the window was always open,
letting sun drench the room. 

The furniture was less intimidating as well.  Lavus hadn’t
been happy with Calis’s tastes, but he hadn’t thought to concern himself with
them too much.  So the tassels were silver rather than gold, and the furniture
was a deep blue that wasn’t as insufferable as the crimson red and black that
littered the rest of the castle.  The wood in the room was lighter, and his
desk was knotty pine, which was very light compared to most of the mahogany
throughout the castle.

His walls held no pictures of ancestors that he didn’t care
about, and in fact, his room was rather bare.  He had an armoire, a dresser,
and a chest, all of which were far fuller than they had a right to be.  In
addition, he had a closet that held even more useless clothing and shoes that
he rarely wore.  His desk sat directly underneath the window, whose blue
curtains were pulled back.  The armoire sat opposite of his bed, and the
dresser was directly beside the closet.  His chest sat at the foot of his bed,
and lastly, his bed was covered in a silver and blue comforter, nestled beneath
a silvered headrest connected to a canopy laden with a silver curtain.

Calis’s room was the only one in the castle that was any
different from the rest.  Tareth had been given free reign over his own room as
well, but he had made sure to pick out precisely the furniture that their
father would have picked.  For this, Lavus had only chastised the younger boy
for being too easily bent to a will that was not his own, and that had
infuriated Tareth. 

That had always been a curious thing.  Lavus loved to see
people bend to his will, and yet when Tareth did it, he flicked the boy aside
like some kind of flea.  Perhaps his favoritism for Calis was because he really
had faith that Calis could be a successor with just as much of an obsession
with power as he had.  That was Lee’s theory, but Calis had a hard time
believing that Lavus had ever considered in his deluded mind that he would ever
have to relinquish his power. 

The one thing Tareth’s and his own room did have in common,
however, was the size.  Calis’s room could probably have fit three Dark
District homes, he thought with a flush.  He had the fleeting thought that
Kilik would not approve, and the unprecedented desire to have Kilik in his room
made him flush a little harder.  He had to stop this.  He knew that his being
with Kilik was impossible, and yet his mind refused to let the concept escape
him. 

“You really like him,” Lee mused aloud.

This startled Calis out of his inappropriate thoughts, and
he whirled to face Lee.  Genuinely, Lee seemed to just be coming to this
conclusion for the first time.  Calis frowned.  “What did you think?  I was
going to Dark District nearly every sun-up because I was curious?”

“You don’t do things halfway, Prince Tsrali,” Lee said
bemusedly.  “But, I suppose you’re right.  I have just never known you to be
taken by someone like you are with him.  It is refreshing and disconcerting.”

“Why, Lee?” Calis asked playfully.  “Were you hoping that
one sun I would declare my love for you?”

Despite his best efforts, Lee couldn’t suppress the grin
that made its way onto his face.  “That is positively absurd, your highness.”

The time that he was supposed to meet with Miss Avyon was
growing near, and Calis could feel the dread accumulating in the pit of his
stomach.  He didn’t think he was going to be able to get through this.  They
were supposed to spend a few shifts together, alone, in the sitting room, for tea
or something.  Calis would have no way to distract himself from her nonsense,
and the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking of another man in the room with the
woman he was supposed to marry was going to be blatantly obvious.

However, the idea of marrying for such a foolish reason as
politics seemed even more angering now.  Calis couldn’t imagine himself
committing to some woman for which he felt nothing, especially when he knew
that he did have feelings and that they were desperate to be noticed.  “I
suppose I ought to wash up,” he said assiduously. 

“I suppose you ought,” Lee echoed, with far less interest
than an advisor should have shown in his master’s upkeep.  Calis smiled.  “Or
you could go roll around in some muck and cause the lady to desire you as
little as you desire her.”

The idea would have been considerable, if Calis hadn’t known
that none of Lady Avyon’s interest in him had anything to do with his
appearance.  Or if it did, that was certainly secondary to his position. 
“Where will you be?” Calis asked.

His advisor thought about the question for a moment, and
then the green eyes fell on Calis with certainty.  “My father wants an audience
with me this sun.  From what I’ve gathered, it involves my training one of the
young children.  I’m not sure why I got selected, but I’m assuming many others
were too busy.”

Calis frowned at once.  The idea of Lee being occupied with
some nobleman’s child was not a happy one.  “I intend to decline,” Lee said
dryly.  “If the others are too busy, then as the prince’s advisor, I should say
that I am too.”

Sometimes, Lee’s audacity surprised Calis even after such a
long time of knowing one another.  To deny one’s father was not something a
typical nobleman did, and yet Lee saw no harm in doing so.  The Keiichi House
was not known for its fierce leader, but Lee’s father was no easier to deny
than any other man’s—except Calis’s.  “You intend to decline?  On what grounds,
might I ask?”

This seemed to strike Lee as more of a nuisance than an
actual question.  “On the grounds that my advisee has found himself
interminably busy and I will not be able to tear myself from his side so
gratuitously if I am to stay in his favor.”

A smirk eased its way onto Calis’s face, as he observed his
advisor with approval.  “Your master sounds like quite a difficult man to please,”
he said definitely, “I do not envy you.”

Lee stood and glanced out the window.  “A much easier man to
please than my father, in fact,” he said.  “It is going to rain soon, so if you
intend to go see the object of your affections—dress appropriately.”

“You do not think you’ll be done in time to warn me of that
after my engagement with Miss Avyon?” Calis asked.  Surely, the meeting with
Lee’s father wasn’t going to take as long as this excruciating arrangement.

A smile eased onto Lee’s lips at Calis’s tone.  “Oh, I
intend to be done long before you are, Calis.  I would conjecture that I’ll see
you in Dark District.”

“Lovely,” Calis said.  He was not at all looking forward to
this morning.  Well, at least he wouldn’t be obliged to ask the woman to marry
him this sun, and for that he ought to be grateful.  At the pace with which
Lavus typically advanced his plans, Calis was surprised the wedding hadn’t been
planned for the next cycle.

Washing up was quick, and he did not take much care with
cleaning the parts of him that probably needed more attention.  He had become
progressively less interested in his own hygiene when he’d seen the public
baths Dark District citizens often used.  Juliet, as a healer, had her own wash
bin for their home, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t occasionally forced
to wash in the public bath.

Regardless, he did what was required of him.  Despite
knowing that dirt was not the cause of his discolored eyes, he scrubbed them
for a long time.  The heat of the water felt good against his skin, anyhow. 
After he finished his bath, he dressed in the overly elaborate clothes that the
servant had brought him.  The outfit was a black coat, with an underlay of
crimson vest, which sat atop a black shirt.  Calis got sick of the constant
theme of colors and the fact that any sort of white on his outfit was
considered an insult to his family name.

His pants were black with crimson designs weaved throughout
them, and his boots were their usual black and red.  Lastly, he pulled on the
shining red belt and walked out into the hallway.  He could have walked through
the halls of the castle and blended in as part of the scenery, he thought
amusedly, and with that—he might be able to escape.  No, Lee wouldn’t be able
to cover for him if he disappeared now.