Diva Diaries (15 page)
Authors: Janine A. Morris
25
Bedtime
“
I
t amazes me how you find time for your girls, but you can't seem to spend any time with your family,” Omar said a few moments after Jordan walked in the bedroom. He hadn't said hello, or anything else. Jordan thought he was sleeping, until he turned around with that comment.
I
t amazes me how you find time for your girls, but you can't seem to spend any time with your family,” Omar said a few moments after Jordan walked in the bedroom. He hadn't said hello, or anything else. Jordan thought he was sleeping, until he turned around with that comment.
“How could you say that? she said.
She was just getting home from the Mirage with the girls. It was about 2:30 in the morning and she had been the first one to leave the club. She was trying to get home as early as possible, although she was the last one to get there. She could never please Omar, though.
“It's true. What did you get married and have a kid for if you didn't want this?”
“Omar? Why are you tripping right now ... It was Dakota's birthday ... and when is the last time I went out?”
“When is the last time
we
went out?” he asked.
we
went out?” he asked.
“Whose fault is that? Half the time you don't want to go. The other times we are fighting about something,” she said as she kicked off her black Gucci pumps.
“Whatever, Jordanâyou have excuses for everything.”
“And you don't? You know what amazes me? You will be angry for days, barely speak to me, but you will break your silence to have another argument. You won't pass up that opportunity. You don't even see yourself.”
“I'm too busy having to watch you.”
“Don't watch me ...” she said, feeling herself get more upset. “And if you were looking good you could see all I do is work to try to keep us in this beautiful house and Jason in that expensive school,” she continued.
“The house you're barely in, and the school where the teachers barely know your name. Not to mention if going to a club comes before us on your list of things to fit in your life, what does that say?” Before she could answer, he continued, “And I'm happy you take credit for all of thisâlast I checked, I paid the bills around this damn house, too.”
“Yeah, maybe going to the club is not a priority, but hanging with my friends is on the list. Not that they come before my familyâthat's not itâbut sometimes I need a break from my stressful life.”
“Sorry that we are so stressful for youâwe didn't mean to cause any problems in your chaotic life.”
“I'm not arguing with you, Omar. I'm going to bed. Most men would be happy to have me as a wife.”
“Yeah, I'm sure your male friends feed you that bullshit every time we have a fight, don't they?” he said sarcastically.
“Maybe if you stopped dwelling on the things that's wrong, you would make sure our home was happier.”
“That's your job.”
“No, my job is to practice law, and yours is to cook.”
She stormed out of the room before he could reply. She had finished changing out of her club clothes and into a wifebeater and some lounge pajamas. She went straight across the hall to Jason's room. He was sound asleep; she pulled the covers back and crawled in the bed with him.
A few seconds later, Omar walked in the room and started back up. “That's your problem, Jordan. You think because you're a lawyer that your career says it all for you. You act like Jason and I are just the background props in the Jordan movie.”
Jordan was not in the mood to argue, which was unusual for her. Her life was hectic enough trying to balance her career and her personal life. A law career with very expectant clients, a husband, a son, close friends that try to help her enjoy life more, and then just time for herself; it was a lot of pressure. Jordan felt that Omar just didn't understand that, he didn't appreciate her and what she brought to the table in their family. He damn sure wasn't supportive. She felt if she was home more, he wouldn't be half as concerned with their quality time. It's just something to complain about. When men have a woman who has no life of her own and is home all the time, they try to get them to go out more or give them some space.
Can't make these freaking men happy
, she thought to herself.
Can't make these freaking men happy
, she thought to herself.
After he realized that she was ignoring him, he walked away. She wasn't in the mood to go back and forthâshe was tired. Omar would never see it her way, and she didn't want to wake Jason. So, he just had to deal with his issues by himself tonight.
Jordan was sleeping with her son tonight. She missed him, she did admit. Just being there for all his stories that excited him so much when he first got done with school, and just seeing him progress at certain things. She missed out on a lotâshe did realize that. This isn't the mother she wanted to be, or the wife she wanted to be. She just hadn't found a way yet to be everything, but she was working on it. Jordan got out of the bed and knelt down by her son's bedside.
“Now I lay down me to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take. God, please pour blessings on my family and household. Please give me the insight to know what I should and should not do ...” Jordan spoke to her savior. She was a grown woman still saying the prayer her son said. Jordan never outgrew her childhood prayer, and even when she learned the other one she felt more comfortable with the kiddie one. She would say it's God, he doesn't have a preference, he just needs to hear from you. So she continued asking for blessings for her family and friends, one of her clients, and the less fortunate.
When Jordan got back in his bed after saying her prayers, her mind went back to the argument she just had with Omar. As she started getting upset, she realized that Omar was making her knock herself for what she did. She had to realize that she couldn't let Omar put a guilt trip on her for earning success and wanting the best for her family. Jason was able to be privileged to those exciting experiences and able to progress so well because she could afford to send him to a top school. As she thought about how proud she was of her little guy, she held him close and listened to his breathing. His little chest rose and lowered in a silent, vibrating motion. As she held him in her arms, she knew that this was the one man who loved her most, and it was for him she would continue to be a mother he'd be proud of no matter who had a problem with it.
26
On the Scene
D
akota was sitting in the dentist's office, impatiently waiting to be called in to get her teeth cleaned. She had been there twenty-five minutes already, and she was on time for her appointment, so she wasn't feeling how they were keeping her waiting. What was the point of the appointment, she thought to herself; she could have just walked in if she wanted to wait and waste time.
akota was sitting in the dentist's office, impatiently waiting to be called in to get her teeth cleaned. She had been there twenty-five minutes already, and she was on time for her appointment, so she wasn't feeling how they were keeping her waiting. What was the point of the appointment, she thought to herself; she could have just walked in if she wanted to wait and waste time.
She was supposed to be meeting Tony later for lunch, and she wanted to take care of some errands before she had to leave to meet him. So, just sitting there wasting time was making her irritable. To pass the time, she picked up an issue of
People
from the magazine rack. Surprisingly, it was an issue she hadn't seen that came out a few weeks ago. In her field it was her job to be on top of all media and press reportingâshe was slipping.
People
from the magazine rack. Surprisingly, it was an issue she hadn't seen that came out a few weeks ago. In her field it was her job to be on top of all media and press reportingâshe was slipping.
She flipped through the pages, seeing makeup tips and stories about today's stars. She skimmed through, with no intention of having enough time to read a whole article by any of the writers. As she made it to the
On the Scene
section, she started to look at the pictures from different parties and red-carpet events. There were pictures of 50 Cent with his new love interest, Toni Braxton and her husband at an album-release party for Jadakiss, Lamar Odom with his daughter at a charity football game, and a few people that she didn't know. She turned to page two of the section, and standing there in a picture with some girl at an album-release party was Tony. He was wearing a chocolate-brown suit, with brown-and-tan gators with a brown baseball cap. She almost choked. She grabbed the magazine tighter and brought it close to her eyes to carefully examine every inch of the picture. She was about five-eight, a lot thicker than she was, with wide eyes, and a round nose. She wore a tan slip dress with matching tan Dolce and Gabana shoes and bag. Her hair was hanging, with some curls in her face.
On the Scene
section, she started to look at the pictures from different parties and red-carpet events. There were pictures of 50 Cent with his new love interest, Toni Braxton and her husband at an album-release party for Jadakiss, Lamar Odom with his daughter at a charity football game, and a few people that she didn't know. She turned to page two of the section, and standing there in a picture with some girl at an album-release party was Tony. He was wearing a chocolate-brown suit, with brown-and-tan gators with a brown baseball cap. She almost choked. She grabbed the magazine tighter and brought it close to her eyes to carefully examine every inch of the picture. She was about five-eight, a lot thicker than she was, with wide eyes, and a round nose. She wore a tan slip dress with matching tan Dolce and Gabana shoes and bag. Her hair was hanging, with some curls in her face.
She is pretty, but she doesn't have shit on me
, Dakota thought to herself.
, Dakota thought to herself.
Dakota was tempted to call him and ask him who the hell she was, or how could he embarrass her like this by taking pictures and things for the press with some other woman. She had brought Tony to too many of her celebrity affairsâhow stupid did she look that he is taking some other woman? He obviously didn't care about that, because there he was with his arm around another woman, right smack in the middle of the magazine. She tried her damnedest to see how expensive her jewelry was, or anything else she may have had on to let her know just how well he was keeping her. She knew it was her, the
her
that he claimed was nothing more than his child's mother. It was clear from the picture that it was much more than that. The caption below it read,
Ex-Oakland Raider/CEO of Touchdown Records Tony Taylor with his date at the Ludacris album-release party
.
her
that he claimed was nothing more than his child's mother. It was clear from the picture that it was much more than that. The caption below it read,
Ex-Oakland Raider/CEO of Touchdown Records Tony Taylor with his date at the Ludacris album-release party
.
She wanted to talk to him about it face-to-face, but she couldn't stand it anymore. She had forgotten all about her extended wait in the dentist's waiting roomâshe was actually happy he kept her waiting. She picked up her phone and dialed his number.
He answered on the third ring. “What's up, 'Kota?”
“What's up, Mr. Taylor?” she said with a very sarcastic and sinister tone.
“ChillingâI'm at Rick's house. What's good?”
“I'm at the dentist's office, and I'm looking through one of last month's issues of
People
, and guess who made a guest appearance?”
People
, and guess who made a guest appearance?”
Tony didn't reply right away. Then he said, “What? You see that picture of me and my daughter's mother in there?” He never liked to say her nameâit was like he didn't want to make her count or something. It was too late for that, though; now Dakota had a face, and to her that made her more real than ever.
“Yes, I do see it. You didn't tell me anything about this party, and how could you go with her?”
“That night, me and her had some business to discuss, so to kill two birds with one stone, we went there and talked at dinner after.”
“Tony, the girl is dressed upâthat wasn't last-minute planning. Not to mention that her outfit complements yours. Please don't tell me that was coincidence, too.”
“Me and you never ended up wearing the same color somewhere, Dakota?” he asked, really trying to sell his story.
“Whatever, Tonyâjust perfect press opportunity, right? She just happened to have that outfit laying out when you came over, right?”
“ 'Kota, why are you tripping? That's my baby's motherâshe is not just some chick.”
“What, and I am?”
“No, Dakota. But you are acting like one right now.”
“Fuck you, Tony. It's enough that I have to put up with our terms and conditions, but you can at least keep it real with me. Don't tell me some bull that you had to discuss business with her that night and ended up at some big party and in
People
magazine. Give me more credit than that.”
People
magazine. Give me more credit than that.”
The guests in the waiting area were starting to stare, and one lady was trying to see who was on the page in the magazine so she could see who Dakota was talking to. She tried to calm down before she embarrassed herself even more.
“Dakota, me and her go places from time to timeâwe aren't enemies or anything. We have a relationship and that entails a lot of things, not things that I have to tell you about, either.”
“Fine, Tonyâyou can keep everything you do to yourself, because I'm tired of this.”
“You are really overreacting about some picture,” Tony continued.
Dakota remembered her thought from earlier. “I bring you to several parties with meâmost of the music business and movie industry has seen me with you. How do I explain you in the magazines with other chicks?”
“You explain that is his daughter's mother,” he said.
“So what? She needs to be home mothering your daughter, then ...”
Before he or she could say anything else, the dental assistant had walked up and said, “Dakota Watkins?”
She stood up. “Tony, I will call you laterâthe dentist called me in.”
“Later, “ he said, relieved to get off the phone.
She made her way into the back room and sat in the dentist's chair waiting to get her teeth cleaned. As she sat there, she knew there wasn't much she could sayâit was his daughter's mother. Tony never did promise more than he was giving Dakotaâher desires from him just slowly expanded from when they first started. She could admit he tried not to hurt her feelings, because she knew what she had gotten into. She knew he wanted to tell her to remember her place at times, but as long as he didn't she knew he was more caught up in their relationship than they planned, just like she was. She couldn't be too upset with him for being in public with his baby's mother. Besides, Dakota was sure she was upset when she saw us in a few other magazines over the past year or so. Her mission was to make her obsolete so that Dakota would be in all the pictures, and in all the houses, and in all the jewelry and clothes. She just had to figure out what she wasn't doing right and get on the job.
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