Ditching The Dream (Dream Series) (42 page)

I guess I didn’t tell her to
not
give it to him.

I sighed and nodded. A smile spread across his face. He always had a really nice smile. He leaned in for a kiss, but instead of meeting his lips, I gave him my cheek. I instantly regretted doing that. Not only was it a shitty thing to do, but in doing so, I caught a glimpse of Jack standing at the end of the hallway. How much he had seen, or heard, I couldn’t be sure.

I pulled my purse over my shoulder. “I have to go. I’m dead on my feet. I’ll see you tomorrow at eight.” I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on his lips. A small apology for dodging them just a moment ago, and started out.

I passed by Jack who had moved to the bar. His eyes tracked me until he would have had to turn his head. He didn’t turn. I said a silent thank you.

S
he said yes. That had to count for something, right? We could start talking. I could let her know how much I really did need her.

She looked so good. I was a disaster and she looked put together. Healthy. Yeah, she looked as if she’d seen a ghost when she turned to see me at the bar, but I’d shown up unannounced. It was clear that she was shocked to see me.

And that older guy in the bar. She seemed awfully friendly with him. What was that story? Had she actually taken me up on my offer for her to be with other men? Was she with him in that way? The thought left me cold. If she was going after a guy like him, and I was secure enough in my manhood to acknowledge that he was incredibly attractive, then what chance did I have? Especially now. I looked horrible. I made a mental plan to stop into a barber tomorrow and get cleaned up for our dinner tomorrow night.

I
was sound asleep when I heard a knock on the door. I looked at the alarm clock next to my bed. It read three eighteen. It was dark, so it must have been A.M. Who in the hell would be knocking on my door at such an absurd hour? I walked to the door carefully to not giveaway that I was up, and peered through the peephole.

Jack? How did he get up here? Where were the doormen? He must have paid them off. Jack didn’t look well. He was swaying slightly. How much had he had to drink at the bar?

Against my better judgment, I opened the door. Jack studied me with his big brown eyes – so lost. Without a word, he stepped into the apartment, kicking the door closed behind him.

His lips crashed down on mine and pressed me against the wall… hungry… desperate. His mouth was scotch soaked. My body, the ultimate betrayer, kissed back with as much emotion. He shed his shirt as he walked us into the apartment. As we passed the kitchen, he stopped kissing me long enough to whip my top off, throwing it on the kitchen counter as we rounded into the bedroom.

He kicked off his shoes and unbuttoned his jeans, shoved them down, then kicked them aside. He pulled back from me and started to drop to his knees, placing kisses all the way down – across my shoulder to between my breasts, my breasts, and my belly. When he reached my pajama pants, he slid them down and kissed roughly at my sex.

My knees started to buckle. He caught me and stood. He carried me to the bed and laid me down. In an instant he was on top of me, my arms stretched over my head and pinned down by his large, strong hand. He was kissing me again. Taking what he wanted. He moved with such urgency, as if his life depended on it.

He reached down with his free hand and slipped his fingers between my legs. Of course I was soaked. I was so ashamed. Always soaked when I was with Jack. He lined himself up and slid into me with one thrust. It was exquisite. He was thrusting with the same urgency he was kissing me with.

Suddenly I heard my front door open and close. My head turned to the bedroom door. Kevin appeared at the door. What was going on? Why was Kevin here? Did he see Jack come in all drunk and was worried?

Ohmygod!

I tried to push Jack off of me, but I couldn’t budge his magnificent body one inch.

“You here to help? Or watch?” Jack barked.

Shocked I turned to look at Jack. What was he saying? My eyes flew back to Kevin who was peeling his shirt off, tossing it aside onto the chair. He dropped his jeans and tossed them onto the same chair as his shirt. Kevin continued to walk up to the bed, and stopped at my head; his cock throbbing before my eyes.

“Take it, Elizabeth. Take his cock in your mouth,” Jack commanded.

Before I could even process what Jack had said, Kevin was shoving his velvety length into my mouth. Jack’s thrusting never slowed, and now Kevin was plunging into my mouth. I did my best to relax and take him all the way in.

The room was filled with grunts and moans and skin slapping. The smell of sex was intense.

Movement by the door again caught my attention. Greg was standing there. Not moving, just staring. I tried to beg Greg with my eyes for understanding.

I couldn’t read Greg’s expression. It was blank.

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!
I sat bolt upright and turned to my alarm clock. Breathing hard, covered in a light film of sweat, I frantically looked around my sun-filled room. The men were gone.

I flopped back onto my bed and shut my eyes to think about the dream that felt so real. Two men at once. What did that say about me? And that I let them keep going?

And Greg watching. Did I want him to join in? Did I want him to take over? I imagined what that would look like. Medium bodied Greg pushing sculpted Jack and Kevin aside, dropping his perfectly pressed Dockers along with his
tighty-whitey-bun-huggers
that he loved so much, and shoving himself into me?

I was a mess.

S
omehow I managed the Sunday lunch shift at work with only a few errors. The dream, or nightmare – I couldn’t decide which it was, had me distracted the whole time. My eyes kept scanning the crowd at the bar looking for Greg or Jack or Kevin to come in.

When I clocked out at four, I hailed a cab. I wasn’t thinking straight and this was probably a bad idea, but I couldn’t help myself. I climbed inside and told the driver, “Thirty eighth and third.”

I knocked on Jack’s door and was fearful that he wouldn’t be home, but those fears were alleviated when he opened the door, sweaty and standing in a pair of workout shorts and T-shirt. He took one look at me and pulled me into the foyer and closed the door behind me. Instantly, I burst into tears.

“Shhh,” he murmured into my hair, and pulling me into his arms.

“I’ve made such a mess of everything. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I just knew I had to see you.”

He brushed away the tears that were streaming down my face and stared deeply into my eyes.

“I’m thrilled to see you,” he said, pulling me into his arms again. I breathed him in, his sweat, his cologne, his soap, his shampoo. All the scents that gave Jack his divine signature. I was calmed from just the smell of him.

“Make love to me,” I said in a small voice.

Jack pushed me back only enough to look me in the eye. His brown eyes full of hope.

“No toys or theatrics, just us,” I added.

In a motion worthy of a movie, he effortlessly swept me off my feet and marched us upstairs. He passed the room we always went to and went to the guest room.

Standing next to the bed, he stood me before him and kissed me tenderly. He reached behind me and pulled the covers back, then stepped away, pulling off his T-shirt and shorts. His cock sprang free and I had to catch my breath.

Next, he slowly pulled my shirt over my head, then worked my pants down my legs, running his nose all the way from my breasts to my junction. He lifted my foot to remove the pant leg, then the other, and set me on the bed. He then crawled over me and looked at me deeply. The other night his face was completely unreadable — right now, it was fully transparent. His expression was one of admiration, love and tenderness.

With a sweet kiss to my lips, he whispered, “I’ve worn protection so that you would feel safe. But the truth is four years ago I had a vasectomy. I can’t get you pregnant. And I’m clean, I swear. I don’t want there to be anything between us.” I searched his face. His gorgeous face. I ran my fingers over his perfect mouth. Lacing my hands behind his neck, I lifted my lips to his, returning his sweet kiss, and nodded.

He steadied himself and slid into me. He felt hotter. Stronger. Bigger. Gently he started rocking into me. I quickly matched his body, knowing just how he moved.

It was beautiful. He was beautiful.
We
were beautiful.

His hands explored my skin, followed closely by his mouth. My hands and eyes ran over every inch of him. I wrapped my legs around his waist to slow him down. I wanted this to last.

We rolled so that I was on top. And with the afternoon sunlight streaming in, I showed off my body to Jack without shame. His eyes made love to my body as much as his hips did. I leaned back and let my head fall. It was so wonderful. So perfect. Jack’s hands on my hips gripped tighter and his thrusts grew more urgent. I looked at him, needing that connection. Instantly we locked eyes and I leaned in, kissing him like he was air.

He rolled us over and pinned me under his weight. Nestling his head into my neck, I heard him whisper, “I love you.”

My climax took off propelling me into the next stratosphere Holy shit, I didn’t know that was humanly possible. I shuddered and tears ran down my face. When he started to grunt his arrival, I pulled his face to mine and kissed him, swallowing his cries.

When we’d both come down, I curled into him and contemplated what he’d said. Was it because we were in the throes of passion? Did he really love me? Fuck! What was I doing? This was all so seriously fucked up!

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, drawing his hand up and down my bare arm, the two of us tucked under the covers.

“I’m wondering if your paddles and crops and whips would help me let go of some of my guilt,” I whispered.

“Beth, you are a good person. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I do,” I insisted sitting up, letting the sheet fall. “I’m married, and my husband is in town. I’m having dinner with him in two hours to talk about things, and yet here I am, in your bed.”

He searched my face for a long moment. He rolled his jaw. “You really want to see if it will work?”

I nodded silently.

He slid out of bed and pulled on his shorts.

“Up. Come here,” he commanded.

Without hesitation I stood and walked to stand in front of him. He took my hand and we walked to the first bedroom, the one we’d always used before today.

Inside the room, he turned and looked at me squarely. “I’m only doing this because you asked. I do not wish to inflict
any
pain on you.”

“I need this, Jack. I need
you
to do this.” My voice was strong even though my insides were turning around. I was so tied up with guilt and anguish. Maybe this would work.

He took a cleansing breath and swallowed hard. Calmly, he took my hand and walked me to the secret panel and opened it.

I looked inside standing next to him. I took in all the devices. The scarves which I had enjoyed. The flogger which I had enjoyed. The crystal butt plug which I had enjoyed.