Distractions (27 page)

It was so far removed from the rest of

the world, where I could breathe, and

think. He hadn’t asked too many

questions since we had been together,

yet I had a feeling they were coming. No

sooner had the thought crossed my mind

when he asked the first one.

“Have you fallen in love since

me?” His hands skimmed the surface of

the bubbling water across the vapor

mist. I didn’t want to lie to him; he

would know it. I would never deny

Shepard anyway.

“Yes, once. A few years back. My

boss was murdered and my neighbor

noticed I was going downhill. He took

care of me. Even before that, he was

taking care of me; I just never really

thought too much about it.”

I looked into the sky once more, my

mind drifting to another place in time.

For some reason, Connor needed to

know why, because he kept pressing.

“What happened?”

I closed my eyes. This memory

pained me deeply. Although I thought of

it often, I had not spoken of it since it

happened. With a deep breath, I readied

myself to relive the events that shaped

my life as I presently knew it.

“We went away for a week. It was

perfect. He went to school in Tennessee

and I was working for the University of

Cincinnati. A few days after he went

back, his dad came to my house drunk.

He tried to make a pass at me and I

refused; he got angry and beat the shit

out of me. I woke up in the hospital with

a few broken ribs and a cracked skull.

Shepard wasn’t allowed to see me. Just

before the trial, his old man killed

himself and I lost my job. I was told not

to talk to him, and then his family

blamed me and filed a lawsuit. I never

fought, even though I knew it was wrong,

because I thought it was best. He

deserved something better than me.” I

sunk into the water so it rested just

beneath my nose and watched Connor

for his response.

He just looked at me with pity and

stopped at the scar on my temple.

“Damn, Violet, I’m sorry. I wondered

how you got that scar; I didn’t remember

it.” His fingers traced the faint white line

along my scalp.

“You haven’t talked to him since?

He never got a say?” He started to make

me nervous with the sudden concern

over Shepard.

“It’s complicated, but it doesn’t

matter anymore. It’s been over a long

time; it’s done.” He shook his head and

tilted it back.

“I just can’t imagine someone

letting you go that easily. I know I

couldn’t.”

Nothing more was said about

Shepard, or much of anything. We both

got out and crawled into bed, tangled

close against each other. Once again, the

vivid dreams I had managed to escape

this week came pouring back in. I would

awake with a start, then lay back and

stare at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep

again.

How was it I could be lying next to

Connor, but my mind was on someone

else? I wrapped myself in a blanket and

stepped back onto the deck. Looking

below, the pools were now empty, so I

slowly trekked down the path leading

towards them. The world was quiet and

still as my feet touched the warm water.

Being a little further away, it was not

quite as hot as above where our cabins

were, but it was still nice. I tossed my

robe onto a chair and grabbed a foam

noodle to rest my head on. Drifting out

into the middle of the pool, the near

pitch black of night blanketed me in

peace as I gazed at the stars. Not a sound

was made beyond the cold breeze

blowing through the mountains. The

wind howled against my ears and I could

feel my hair turning into icicles.

I focused on the brightest star, and

like a child, made a wish.

Wherever you are, Shepard, I hope

that you are happy and loved. I am so

sorry for everything. I didn’t know what

else to do. If you had any idea what was

really happening, you might understand

and even forgive me. If you can see this

star, too, maybe you will sense the truth

and know I loved you with everything in

me.

My wish sounded more like a

prayer. I did hope he was happy and

loved. He, of all people in the world,

deserved that. I knew our paths would

never cross again, so I could only

believe he was. I released him to the

universe and made room in my heart

once more for Connor. Just then, a small

star grazed across the sky, ever so

briefly. He had done his best this week

to prove he had changed and that

everything we had gone through before

the bullshit garnered a second chance. I

pulled the robe around me and headed

back up to our cabin. Connor wasn’t

sleeping when I opened the door; a small

light bathed the room in a soft yellow

glow.

“Where did you go? You were gone

for a while.”

I smiled and crawled into his arms

to warm up again. “I went down to the

pools to float for a bit and think.”

He pulled me back against his chest

and kissed my neck softly. “Did you

decide anything while you were down

there?” He sounded hopeful; I could feel

him holding his breath, waiting for my

answer.

“Yes, I did. Let’s talk, okay?”

Flipping around to face him, I

cradled the sides of his head and pulled

him into a kiss. Just to give him an

indication it was a good talk, I raised my

thigh over his hip and used my heel

against his bottom to draw him closer.

The action caused him to growl with

pleasure.

“I like where this is going…” His

hands reached into my still chilled hair

and smoothed it away from my face.

“I hope so, Connor.”

For a long time that evening, and

into the next day, we conversed about

the future. I didn’t know what was going

to happen, but it was worth a shot. God

knew I had been lonely for so long, and

here was something where I knew I

could at least predict the outcome and

have the most control. Or so it would

seem…

Chapter 26 -

Severed

My week here in Colorado passed

far too quickly. Despite my world

turning upside down, I was not leaving

with the feeling of dread I was

anticipating. The launch went off without

a hitch and was the success everyone

banked on. Connor had negotiated an

offer with the bank and the estate would

be settled within the next sixty days. My

family had all but dissipated after the

funeral, especially when Connor offered

to buy out the mortgage.

Everything seemed so surreal.

Although I lost one of the most important

people in my world, another one was

given back. I had been so angry with

him, I had forgotten anything good that

had

happened

between

us.

His

unwavering support during this week

was nothing short of a miracle. I

continued to watch the monitors in the

terminal, waiting to see when we would

be cleared for take-off. Another nasty

storm was coming in from the west,

which had screwed up the flight patterns.

More than two hours had passed

since he dropped me off, kissing me so

hard my lips were still swollen. I grazed

my thumb across the tender spots along

the bottom, knowing all too soon, they

would be gone. I shook my head from

trying to comprehend everything that

happened since the short time I had

arrived; it was more than I could handle.

Just then, the black bar started to flash

on the screen next to the gate.

“Cancelled, I knew it.” I blew out a

deep breath and grabbed my bag. Since I

had checked the other, it would be

waiting for the next flight. I knew that all

the other flights were not far behind, and

I debated whether or not to call Connor

and tell him; perhaps he was watching

the status updates or the news. I headed

straight for the rental counter before they

made the announcement. Using my phone

to hold a reservation, it was waiting for

me when I arrived. He didn’t live

terribly far from the airport; I would

have enough time before the snow really

started to fly. I pulled out from the

parking lot, glowing in the thought of

snuggling in front of a fire, drinking wine

and getting my brains screwed out until

dawn.

With some careful maneuvering on

the slick spots, I arrived just after dark. I

could see the first round of large white

flakes floating peacefully to the ground,

dusting the roads like powdered sugar. I

closed my eyes to catch a few on my

tongue as the street lights gave the

avenue an ethereal glow. He told me the

bottom door was rarely locked before he

went to sleep, which would make the

surprise that much better.

I checked my hair and makeup

before stepping out of the rental SUV. I

don’t know why I cared; it would be

smeared on his sheets in a few minutes. I

stopped and blushed at my inner

thoughts; life without sex has a tendency

to do that to people. Taking a quick

moment to compose myself, I walked

slowly up the flight of stairs, so I did not

make too much noise. The old wooden

steps were terribly creaky and would be

a dead giveaway. I began to hear music

the closer I got – something mellow with

banjos and guitars.

My knuckles were about to rap on

the door when I heard it. It was the

distinct sound of a woman squealing in

pleasure, as if being chased or tickled. I

tried to stop my heart from ripping out of

my chest, drawing upon the ridiculous

pep talks I used to keep me from

completely freaking out. I placed my

palm against the door to give my

forehead a second to rest and compile

my emotions.

Was there any benefit of the doubt

in my mind? I would not walk away

from here without knowing what was

behind that door. Could the son of a

bitch really do this to me twice? I felt

the cracks in my soul start to widen each

time I knocked on the slab of polished

walnut. A moment later, I heard the

metal chain on the lock slide and the

door separate from the frame. She didn’t

see the horror on my face once I

recognized who she was. It was Kinzey,

or Reese, should I say…

The smile she held so brightly

vanished once she laid eyes on me.

“Starla,” she said quietly.

Right after she spoke, I watched a

hand reach around her waist, stroking

her stomach playfully as his mouth

nuzzled her neck with gentle nips. She

squirmed to get away from him.

“What’s wrong, baby? Who is it?”

Finally looking up himself to see

who had interrupted them, he rapidly

peeled away from Reese as if she were

kryptonite. I turned in one swift motion

back towards the stairs. Connor leaped

out of the entryway to stop me. Stepping

in front of me, he used his body and arms

to keep me from walking any further. I

could hear the panicked sounds coming

out of Reese who was still standing by

the door.

“Violet, wait, don’t leave,” he

growled.

My head was still lowered, looking

at the floor beneath me. The venom was

diffusing back into my blood stream,

starting once again with my tongue.

“I am not really into three-ways, so

I think I’ll pass.”

The cold air in the hallway had

grown

thick

with

tension.

The

claustrophobic feeling was starting to

surround me like a glove. I heard

footsteps behind me as Reese started to

make her way past us.

I replied sinisterly, “See you took