Discovering Sophie (18 page)

Jack only hesitated a second before he quietly moved over and sat down next to her on the pallet. Their shoulders touched, and he was instantly aware of the contact. He caught a whiff of her coconut scented shampoo and had the intense yearning to bury his face in her hair and hold her close.

“Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi.” She gave him a soft smile. “What are you doing up?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” He nudged her in the shoulder. “What are you doing up?”

“I just gave Mario his last dose of antibiotics and thought I’d write in my journal until I get sleepy.”

“Anything good?” He leaned over to try and sneak a look, although the pages were shadowed and he couldn’t make out any words.

She closed the book and nudged him back. “That’s for me to know and you never to find out.”

“I don’t get it. If no one can read it, then what’s the point in writing it down?”

“I’m not writing it for someone else to read, silly.” She hugged the book close to her chest. “At least not yet. I’m sure someday I’ll want to share parts of it with my children.”

“What about your husband?”

Sophie looked up at him through her thick lashes, and a shy smile parted her lips. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll share it with him too.”

Jack had the wildest impulse to snatch it from her and declare he wanted a preview and that eventually, as her husband, he’d read it thoroughly. It was a crazy thought. First, he had pretty much written off marriage. He never wanted to be that vulnerable again. Second, Sophie was practically engaged to another man.

He needed to get his mind on something else. Nobody was more surprised than he was when he asked, “How many kids do you want?”

She looked at him curiously. He just smiled. For some dumb reason, he really wanted to know.

“A lot. As many as I can talk my husband into.”

“Really?” he asked, feeling slightly alarmed by the potentially large number. Jack was pretty sure any man married to this woman would have a hard time saying no. “What if he only wants, like two or three?”

Jack had only one brother. One cheating, fiancée-stealing brother. If he’d had at least one other sibling, maybe he wouldn’t be estranged from his parents right now.

“I guess we’d have to work it out, but before we married, I would make sure he knew I want a big family. I want my kids and their spouses and their children to come over for Sunday dinner. I want big family get-togethers for all the holidays. I want to be close to my husband’s family, too. I want to share his parents, or at least his mother.”

The muscles in Jack’s stomach tensed. She would have that with Peter. Truthfully, from what she’d already told him, she did have that with Peter’s family. What would Jack have to offer her? Certainly not a big fun-loving family. Heck, if he and Adam were ever in the same room again, Jack was pretty sure he wouldn’t be giving him a brotherly hug.

He tried to picture being an uncle to Heather and Adam’s first kid. He wasn’t even sure what her name was. He knew it was a girl. His mother had sent him a birth announcement, and the only thing Jack could remember was it was all pink.

“Wow, I hope you have a big house, then. With all the partying you plan to do, you’ll need it.”

“Not too big. I want my home to be cozy—a place where my family will feel comfortable. Not some showcase.”

He slanted her a glance. “What woman doesn’t dream about owning the biggest, nicest house?”

“Me.”

Jack studied her for a few seconds. He believed her. His muscles tensed again. He also wanted her.

Could she be happy with someone like him? He’d be faithful to her. He’d even take her to church each week. How could he be mad at God anymore if he ended up with Sophie? As far as children, he’d do his best to give her as many as she wanted. He just couldn’t give her in-laws. At least not now. Maybe never.

Then she asked him the one question he didn’t want to have to answer.

“Jack, what about your family? Do you have any brothers and sisters?”

“Yeah, one brother.” The familiar anger twisted his insides. “We’re not close.”

“Oh.” Her voice was small. Jack couldn’t bring himself to look at her, knowing the disappointment in her eyes would be too much for him to take in right now. “Well, what about your parents?”

His fingers curled into fists, and he swallowed hard. In order to explain the rift between him and his family, he’d have to tell her what Heather had done to him. He just couldn’t go there yet.

“They live in Fort Collins, but I haven’t been home for a while, now.” The truth was he had no idea if they still lived in the same home he’d grown up in. Shoot, he didn’t even know if they were both still alive. All at once, the desire to see his parents hit him so hard he felt like his chest was being crushed, and he could barely take a breath.

How was he supposed to go about contacting his family? Would he write a letter or give them a call? He thought about the upcoming holidays. How would his family feel if he showed up for Thanksgiving dinner?

Struggling with the overwhelming feelings, he gently cleared his throat. Guadalupe snorted in her sleep and both Jack and Sophie looked toward the dark corner where she slept. They both visibly relaxed when the loud, rhythmic snoring started up again.

Jack glanced down into Sophie’s eyes, dark and questioning, as if she knew the inner turmoil he was dealing with. “After listening to you talk about family, I realize it’s time I make a visit home.” He felt some of the incredible burden he’d carried for so long lift. He still had no idea how he’d face Adam and Heather, but it was time to seek out his mom and dad. “Thanks for sharing all of that with me.”

Her mouth curved up, and he caught the telltale scent of her lip gloss. Before he would ever let himself taste what flavor it was, he needed to clear a few things up. “Tell me about Peter? What is he like?”

Surprised flitted across her face. “Um, well, he’s an attorney. Actually, he was just made a partner at his firm. He’s into running and has run several marathons for charity. His whole family has even done a two-day relay race to raise money for our church.” She smiled wistfully. “Like I said before, I’m an only child, and being with Peter’s family is so magical.”

Jack noticed Peter’s family seemed to be the biggest selling point for her.

“So you love his family. What about him?”

“I told you it’s complicated.” Her smile faded, and she glanced down at the journal she held in her lap. “I’m so confused. I…love him, but I don’t think I love him enough to marry him.”

Jack’s gut twisted with envy at her admission of love. It eased a bit when she followed up with the caveat to her feelings. “Hmm. Does he expect an answer when you get home?”

She nodded her head and smoothed her fingers over the leather cover of the small book. “That’s what I told him.”

Every fiber of his being wanted to do everything in his power to ensure her answer would be
no
. So what did that mean? Realistically, how could he even contemplate getting involved in a serious relationship with a woman who lived in Colorado, not Costa Rica?

“What about you?” she asked. “Have you ever wanted to get married?”

Jack shifted on his seat. It was a fair question and deserved an honest answer. Whereas only a few minutes ago he hadn’t been ready to share his past about Heather, now seemed like the right time.

“I was engaged once.” He rubbed his palms across the fabric of his pants. “But my fiancée married my brother instead of me.”

He licked his lips and nervously turned to look at Sophie. She watched him with wide eyes, concern written on her face.

“We were supposed to get married soon after I returned from my service mission here in Costa Rica. While I was serving God, she was busy planning our wedding. At least that’s what I had thought.” The familiar ache inside his chest pressed on his heart when he thought about what Heather had really been doing.

Jack had to look away, unable to look at Sophie. “A couple of weeks before the wedding date, Heather announced she was three months pregnant…and my brother Adam was the father.”

Sophie drew in a sharp breath. “Oh, Jack. I’m so sorry.”

Bitterness filled his mouth, and he fought back the anger rising inside. He couldn’t tell her how his parents had sided with Adam, chastising Jack for being so angry. Just when he thought he could let it all go and forgive them, the feelings of betrayal and hatred extinguished his noble quest for absolution.

“The best part was Heather still wanted me to marry her.” He stifled a derisive laugh. “I declined and let Adam have her.”

His hands were clenched into a fist, and he felt wound up tighter than a piano string. He almost flinched when Sophie placed her warm hand on top of one of his fists. His throat constricted with emotion, and he felt the sting of tears prick his eyes.

Oh man, he couldn’t cry now. Not when he hadn’t shed one tear over Heather and Adam’s betrayal before.

Sophie gently pried his hand open and pressed her palm against his, threading their fingers together. He savored the warmth of her hand, amazed at how well they fit. Her goodness seeped into his soul, calming him like the Valium a doctor had once given him before he’d had laser eye surgery.

She adjusted her weight and leaned close to him. “That’s the reason you haven’t been home for a while,” she said as if she truly comprehended his feelings. “I don’t blame you.”

He expelled the breath trapped in his chest, loosening the tension in his shoulders. She understood and didn’t blame him. Her words were something he’d needed to hear for a long time. She hadn’t judged or condemned him, nor had she extoled the virtues of forgiveness and why he shouldn’t hold grudges. Instead, she had acknowledged his pain and offered him sympathy. It seemed a very Christian thing to do, and once again, he could see the possibilities of reconnecting with his parents.

Thankfully, Sophie didn’t ask any more questions about Heather and Adam, their child or his parents. She just sat close to him, holding his hand. In the quiet of the hut, he ran his thumb across her soft skin. “Thanks for listening.”

“You’re welcome.”

He glanced down and she turned her face, their eyes meeting. He wanted to kiss her, but Guadalupe’s loud snores reminded him they were not alone. “Good night, Sophie.”

“Good night,” she whispered back, lowering her head to his shoulder.

Chapter Fourteen

Sophie
tipped her head to the side and rubbed at the sore spot along the back of her neck with her fingertips. She’d slept against Jack’s shoulder for most of the night, and her stiff upper body let her know it hadn’t been as pleasant as she remembered.

She sneaked a look at Jack as he helped Hector load their gear. He looked good this morning. Happier. Something had changed between the two of them, and she felt closer to him after he’d shared his painful past. She wished they could’ve talked more, but she figured they would get the chance when they made camp tonight. Somewhere far away from Elaina.

He turned and caught her staring at him. A slow smile parted his lips as he walked toward her. “Hey, I’m going to tell Manuel goodbye.”

Despite their new found friendship, her stomach knotted as she stood up to meet him. Why did he want to go alone? “I can come with you.”

He shook his head. “I’d like to get on the trail as soon as possible. While I’m gone, Hector will take you to see Andre. I’ll swing by and get you and we can leave.”

She wanted to argue, but what if Jack wanted one last chance to see Elaina again? She tucked her fingertips inside the front of her pockets. “Be sure and thank Manuel for me.”

“I will,” Jack said, turning to go. “I won’t be long.”

Before she thought about it, Sophie stopped him. “Jack?”

He paused and looked back over his shoulder, that cocky grin still on his face. “Yes?”

“Tell Elaina good-bye for me, too.”

The smile vanished, and his blue eyes narrowed a fraction. “Sure. Anything else?”

Now she felt stupid. Sophie shook her head and looked down at her shoes. Why had she brought up Elaina? Jack had already explained the situation, and she had believed him.

Her eyes darted back up to apologize, but he’d already walked away. Her apology would have to wait until he returned. She just hoped her insecurity and lack of trust hadn’t ruined the change in their relationship.

After last night, she sensed Jack might be developing feelings for her that went beyond friendship. She knew her feelings were changing. Many times she’d asked herself if Jack would want to see her again after they found her father? Is that what she wanted?

She watched him disappear around the corner and smiled. She
did
want to see Jack again. Hope for something more fluttered inside her chest like the wings of the butterfly flitting above her head. It would be very easy to fall in love with Jack Mathison.

The donkey brayed loudly, snapping Sophie out of her musings. She glanced over to see Hector watching her with a knowing grin. “He’s coming back. I promise.”

A nervous giggle bubbled out of her. “I know.” The donkey stamped his foot as if protesting the load on his back. “Fred doesn’t seem very happy.”

Hector shrugged. “I interrupted his siesta, and he’s a little grumpy this morning.” He winked. “Usually it’s Jack who is the grumpy one, but he seems awfully happy this morning, ¿
no
?”

Sophie tried not to smile too brightly. “Hmm. I guess that’s because we’re leaving.”

Hector laughed. “Yes,
señorita,
I’m sure that is part of the reason.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth and tugged on Fred’s lead rope. “Let’s go see your patient so we really can be on our way.”

She would feel better if Andre was fully awake before continuing on their journey, but at least Mario was doing better. After discontinuing his IV early this morning, Sophie left the oral medication with Guadalupe to finish giving her grandson. The child’s miraculous recovery was a testament to the wonders of modern medicine. Sophie was glad she was here at the right place and at the right time.