Discipline (30 page)

“Hers,” I answered through my teeth.

“What the
fuck
, Lara? What happened?
What did you do?” He pulled on my bare arm as I tried to ignore him
for the bathroom, my crawling skin desperate for a shower. “Baby.
Babe
. Jesus Christ, talk to me. I know I fucked the hell up,
I know I did. But you know she meant nothing – she was just a
stupid, needy little girl who went after me. I had a moment of
weakness. I’m sorry
.
But I love you more than anything in
this fucking world and I can explain it all to you if you just to
talk to me first! We can’t figure this out if you don’t tell me
what the hell happened between you and Gabby tonight!”

Jerking out of his grip, I headed for the
shower. “We’ll talk in the morning,” I said definitively, an eerie
calm to my voice. It was just that I knew it at that point. I was
going to end it. Us. Jackson and Lara, the perfect couple that no
one could get enough of. I just didn’t have the energy to deal with
his desperate pleading before I slept. I was exhausted. I needed
rest to deal with a breakup that would no doubt be followed by
Jackson at my feet, begging me not to go.

But that wasn’t how it wound up happening.
Just as I began my breakup speech the next day, we got a call.
Gabrielle Winter was reported missing. Blood had been found in her
apartment and from the way Jackson looked at me, it was clear that
he had drawn a conclusion.

“What is it that you think I
did
,
Jackson?” I asked, the words dripping from my lips with
revulsion.

“I don’t want to know, Lara,” Jackson
replied, his jaw tight, his words measured. “I don’t ever want to
talk about this again because all I know is you went to find her
and now she’s fucking gone.”

“Jackson, do you hear what you’re accusing
me of?” I hissed, in shock that he’d even believe me capable of
such a thing. We had been together four years. He knew every part
of me. He knew that I’d cried for three hours after he killed a
cute albeit horrifying mouse that tormented his old TriBeCa loft. I
hated the thing but still sobbed like a child when I saw it finally
defeated, its tiny body limp and lifeless after Jackson brought a
broom down upon it. After cleaning up, he had cupped my cheeks and
kissed me, telling me we should go see a movie then get dessert to
distract me and sooth my nerves. That was the Jackson I knew. But
in the last few days, I’d become acquainted with a different
Jackson – one who slept with other women and accused me of killing
them. “Jesus fucking
Christ
, Jackson, I had absolutely
nothing to do with this!” I protested, fighting angry tears as he
closed the gap between us.

“Well what do you think her blood on your
shirt would look like to investigators, Lara?” he asked, his curled
lips an inch from mine. “What do you think they would say about the
voicemail Gabby left on my phone? When she was screaming that you
were after her?”

The blood drained from my face once I
realized what it all looked like. It was a perfect picture of what
didn’t actually happen. I
had
gone to find Gabrielle Winter
and I had forced my way into the apartment. I’d screamed at her,
called her every name under the sun. I remembered digging my nails
into her skin and drawing blood.

Still, I hadn’t killed her.

But Jackson looked at me as if I did.

“Now like I said.” He kept his blue eyes
fixed on me as he whipped his shirt up over his head. “I don’t want
to talk about this again, so get dressed while I shower. I have a
lunch with the other investors at noon and they expect to see you
there,” he said, ignoring what I’d said about moving out that
afternoon. Leaning into me, he touched my waist, trailing his hand
up until he cupped the swell of my breast. “And make sure you pick
out something nice and tight.” His last demand came with a squeeze.
“You know I like to give them something to look at.”

IN TOO DEEP
is available April 15, 2015

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Jacob

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