Discipline (26 page)

“
What
? How could you even say that,
Kelsey?”

“You just
let
me talk about him all
those times? You just let me keep going? I knew it. You love
watching me embarrass myself, you actually fucking
love
it.
You just let me talk about how fucking gorgeous he is and how all I
want is for him to check me out and this whole time you were seeing
him?” She laughed bitterly. “Oh my God, what the hell am I talking
about — you were obviously
fucking
him too right? Of course
you were, you two were practically having sex in the goddamned
kitchen when I walked in on — ”

She suddenly stopped, and even in the night,
I was able to see the color drain from her face, my hands reaching
out for her for fear that she might suddenly faint. “What, Kelsey?
What is it?”

“Oh my God, it was you, not Cara.” Her eyes
darted wildly before landing back on my face. My heart actually
felt a twist when she slapped my hand away from her. “You slut, you
had sex with Mr. Cole in
Woodhill
?”

I stared at her, my jaw dropped. Replacing
my worry for her was a sudden, furious anger, but my tongue
couldn’t form the words to express it.

“Oh my God, when did this even
start
?” Her feet started up again, pacing away from me, her
hands in her hair as she kept spewing curses, her yell dwindling
into a somewhat crazed mutter. “I swear to God, I will throw up if
I hear that you were having sex with him since high school, not
that it would even surprise me considering how
slutty
you
act whenever you hang out with Adriana and the rest of the — ”

“Kelsey, listen to yourself, you’re not even
making sense!” My heart pounded as I followed her. “For starters,
Aaron and I started seeing each other this summer, after the
breakup. And you really need to stop throwing the word
slut
around like you’re Ben or something — I am seeing one person and
sleeping with one person. That doesn’t make me a slut!”

“He’s using you for sex.” Kelsey kept her
pace, sneering over her shoulder. “What else would it be? He sees
you as this little fangirl who’ll give him whatever he wants. And
that makes you a slut.”

Fire burned hot in my cheeks. “You’ve got to
be kidding me, Kelsey. If you want to know the truth, that’s the
way
Ben
treated me. It is
not
the way Aaron treats
me.”

She stopped in her tracks, cooing mockingly.
“How does he treat you then, Nina? Like there’s something special
just about
you
?”

I glared at her. “Yes.”

“That’s precious. And let me guess, when you
were his student, he was already in love with you. While all the
girls were fantasizing about him in class, he was fantasizing about
you
.”

I swallowed, remembering Aaron’s confession
about me, the pen tapping, the fantasies I’d made him to admit to.
My lack of an answer had actually made Kelsey pause for a second,
squinting at me as if considering the possibility herself. That
Aaron had noticed me while I was still his student.

The fact that she had stopped challenging me
after that scared me. Going completely silent, she’d called a car
to take her all the way back to Woodhill, sitting on the edge of
the sidewalk and ignoring me until it arrived. Once she was gone,
I’d trudged back to the house. Exhausted, I returned to see the
girls, Mike and Aaron waiting for me on the stairs.

I whispered something to Em before going to
bed that night, and though I lay rigid in his arms, I told Aaron
that I’d make sure Kelsey kept quiet despite the fact that I wasn’t
sure if I’d really be able to. Kissing my head, he told me to relax
for the night, that we’d figure things out in the morning.

But once he fell asleep, I had Em drive me
home.

By the time I got back, Kelsey’s sandals
were already kicked off by the front door. But she hadn’t come out
of her room since, despite audibly rustling about throughout the
afternoon, pushing hangers in her closet as her phone dinged with a
text message every ten to fifteen minutes.

Since by early evening she still hadn’t come
out of her room, I finally knocked on her door.

“Kelsey, I just want to ask one thing of
you. Please open the door.”

I heard her pause for a few seconds and then
heave a sigh. “Alright,” she mumbled, though she took nearly a
minute to shuffle over the door. “What?” She cocked an eyebrow when
she opened it.

I blinked. “Listen, Kels… I know you’re
angry at me right now but I want you to know that all those things
you accused me of aren’t true. I’ve never made fun of you and I’d
never take pleasure in your humiliation. I’ve always had your back
and right now, all I ask is for you to have mine. And Aaron’s.
Please don’t tell anyone in Woodhill about us. It’s over, anyway. I
just want to protect him. So please, Kelsey. Don’t tell.”

She stared at me blankly, her eyes
fluttering once her phone dinged again. Instinctively, I glanced
down at it. She pulled the screen away from me, hiding it behind
her back, shooting daggers at me for even looking.
Shit
. I
couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d already told the entire
town.

“Does Woodhill already know?” I asked
warily. Kelsey promptly snapped at me.

“
No
.”

“Are you going to tell them?”

“
No
.”

I let go of a breath, too relieved to care
about the door slamming in my face.

CHAPTER
18

I crossed the street to the side where the
sun cascaded down. I needed the warmth and brightness on this
particular day. That morning, I’d ignored yet another one of
Aaron’s calls. This time, I didn’t even listen to the voicemail.
I’d simply deleted it and ignored the warning that my battery was
close to zero. If my phone died for the day, so be it. I wouldn’t
have to anticipate texts from Aaron that I’d only force myself to
delete.

It was the best way to get over him, to
resist the urge to call or text him back and tell him that I missed
him too. That I wanted desperately to feel his arms around me again
so I could just dissolve my stress, forget about Kelsey, about Ben
and just melt into his body.

But for his sake, I couldn’t, so I needed
the sun. It wouldn’t be around for long with the fall coming. I
needed to enjoy it, to luxuriate in it for a little bit longer.
However, today, the little peace it gave me was disrupted by
shouting mothers as I turned onto First Avenue.

“Hey! Get back on the sidewalk!”

The block I always walked down to get to the
restaurant was teeming with children. I blinked at the unfamiliar
sight, realizing the date. September seventh. School had started.
Another reminder of Aaron. With a small groan, I crossed the street
again.

I walked for only a couple blocks or so
before feeling someone trailing close behind me. I heard a snicker
before the familiar voice said my name.

“Nina Decker.”

I turned slowly, stopping in my tracks as I
stared at the familiar face — clean-shaven since the last time I
saw him, his dark hair shorter too. I backed away when his hand
reached out to me. “What are you doing here, Dane?”

He smirked. “Just happened to be in the
neighborhood, but I was hoping I’d run into you. Ben said you moved
back around here.” He let his eye linger on the Todos Santos logo
on my chest. “Gotta say, you’re looking good.”

I swallowed hard, feeling my voice grow
brittle at the sight of his smirk. “I’m late for work,” I muttered
as my feet began walking me away from him. He followed.

“He blames me, you know.”

I narrowed my eyes but refused to look at
him as I kept walking. “I don’t know what you’re talking
about.”

“Your boyfriend,” he laughed. “I’m the
reason the poor guy’s in the doghouse with you.”

“He’s not my boyfriend and he’s not ‘in the
doghouse.’ We’re broken up. Downplaying it won’t trick me into
thinking that we’re still together,” I said, bitter with the stop
light that forced me to stand idly at a corner with Dane, who
raised his eyebrows at me with what appeared to be delight.

“Huh. And to think I didn’t believe him when
he said you had a sharp tongue.” He stood closer to me as he gazed
down my body. “Damn, now I want that vacation more than ever.”

“
Don’t
,” I warned through my teeth
the moment I felt him touch my lower back. The couple beside us
pretended not to stare as I flung his hand away from me, hard.

“Look at you.” He grinned, his eyes lighting
up as if I’d done a trick for him. “Did Ben give you permission to
be this feisty outside of the bedroom?”

“
Screw you
.” My body shook with fury
but I tried not to show it, my legs doing their best to walk me
away from him fast.

“So you’re saying you want to now?” Dane
asked, pleased with himself. “Let’s call Ben and tell him it’s back
on.”

“
Stay away from me, Dane
.” I picked
up my speed, my heart racing. “Both you and Ben. You two can go
ahead and walk around convinced that you own everything you see but
leave me out of your delusions. I have my own life now and I’ll do
what I want with it.”

Dane’s sneer was audible from behind me.
“And whomever you want.
Wherever
you want, apparently. I
mean your teacher in the Hamptons? In the kitchen, Nina?
Christ.”

My stomach dropped as I felt my feet stop in
their tracks, anchored down by what felt like fifty-pound weights.
I turned. Unblinking, I stared at Dane, whose look was something of
the smuggest satisfaction I’d ever seen.

“What did you say?”

He creased his brows, stroking his mouth
with his hand as his gaze traveled across my collarbones and down
one side of my shoulder. “You know, Ben always wondered about this.
Said that for a good girl, you were always pretty fucking amazing
in the sack. I mean, he knew you had a few boyfriends in high
school, but come on, you can only learn so many tricks from a bunch
of pimply seventeen-year-olds who can’t even piss straight yet.”
Running his tongue over his lower lip, Dane’s eyes trailed down to
the top of my shorts. “Makes sense that someone older was prepping
you. I mean, Christ, I know you think I’m into some fucked up shit
but… having sex with your underage student? That’s crossing the
line to me.” Dane shook his head, his eyes traveling down and back
up my thighs before gleaming at mine with amusement.

I could hardly breathe. “What did Kelsey
tell him.”

“Everything you told her, sweetheart.
Basically, your boy’s screwed.”

My mind raced so hard I felt lightheaded.
Staggering backwards, my body found the side of a building to lean
on. “We were never together when I was his student. I never said
that.”

“Of course you wouldn’t flat out say it,
babe, you’re not that much of an idiot.”

My lips flapped uselessly, unable to curse
at Dane in my shock. All that came out were ragged breaths as my
heart slammed mercilessly in my ribcage. I felt the sunlight
flaring in my eyes as Dane made a sloppy, saliva-filled clucking
noise with his tongue.

“Ben’s horrified by this, you know. He knows
you must’ve been traumatized.” I could hear his mock concern.
“We’re gonna make that asshole pay for what he did to you. People
have to know about him. You can’t have these predators, these
pieces of shit running classrooms, preying on girls so they can
groom them into…
sex servants
or something.” Dane gave an
exaggerated shudder. “It’s sick.”

Through the sun, I glowered at him, my words
shaking when they finally choked from my lips. “
Ben
is the
one who does that. You do that. Not Aaron. He never touched me once
in high school and I know neither of you actually believe that he
did. You guys cannot do this to him because of me. He never did
anything to either of you. You can’t do this.”

Dane glanced at his watch. “Babe, didn’t you
say you were running late for work?” he asked. I stared. The blood
had drained from my face and I was nearly doubled over with horror,
but there Dane was, just standing there, leaning back on his heels,
grinning pleasantly since this was just a game to him. Since human
lives served as toys or entertainment to Ben and himself. “Anyway.”
He smiled politely as he stepped aside for someone, turning back to
me to give my upper arm a little rub. “I’ll let you get going. But
you have a good day at work, sweetheart.”

~

I wasn’t thinking straight.

The shock that had paralyzed my body with
Dane was melting, twisting itself into a wild rage. So much so that
I’d blacked out the cab or subway ride over. I had no idea which
means of transportation I’d taken to get to Ben’s apartment, not
that I had the time to really care.

“Been awhile, Miss Decker.”

It was a wonder that the doorman didn’t stop
me considering the flames in my eyes as I barreled through the
front door of the condo. He smiled placidly at me, somehow
oblivious to my unhinged fury.

“I’ll let Mr. Kingdon know that you’re
coming up.”

Fine
. I didn’t care. I wasn’t
counting on any element of surprise. I managed some sort of
acknowledgement before storming past the front desk and into one of
the stark white elevators. Barely able to stand still inside, I
felt my pulse in my teeth, my foot tapping restlessly as I waited
for the red light in the elevator to go from numbers to the letter
P.

Ding
.

The doors finally opened to his apartment.
My heart thumped at the mere sight of the anemic penthouse. The
overwhelmingly white and soulless place that I’d once had the
misfortune of calling home.

The sound of my footsteps on his oak floor
sent a chilly ripple up my spine.

“
Ben
.” My voice was steady despite my
lividness. My jaw tightened as I heard the sound of a barbell
clanking back onto its bench press, his footsteps in his gym on the
floor above me, taking their time as they made their way towards
the stairs. I stood still, red hot and seething as I watched Ben
finally amble down the steps, wiping sweat from his face with his
workout towel before throwing it over his shoulder. Taking the buds
out from his ears, he grinned at me.