Devil's Despair Box Set: Books 1-3 (25 page)

My phone buzzes on the nightstand. I hope and fear it’s another message from Ace. He’s been assaulting my phone with calls and texts, but knowing I can’t respond and the reasons for this has left me feeling guilty and even more alone.

Ace
10:36 p.m.
I’m coming for you, Rae.

Those words are my undoing. My hands sweat as my heart pulses. Images of Ace flow through my mind on an endless reel, picture by picture; his smile, the sounds of his voice, the touch of his skin on mine, the safety of his arms. I ache for him.

He can’t come here. It’s exactly what Vinnie wants.

Twisting my body, I move Decklan and cover him gently so he’s comfortable in his bed. As I do, Ace’s words penetrate. My thoughts race. I hope he’s been drinking. I hope Hayden stops him. I hope Bean talks him out of this. He cannot come here, he’d be walking into a sure death if Marcus ever found out. His being here would be the flame to the fuse that brings down everything and everyone I’ve ever loved.

Please, Ace. Don’t come here.

Making my way to our en suite bathroom, I let emotions consume me; my tears flowing as I close my eyes and free them to fall.

Vinnie decided not to block the calls and texts from Ace, citing that this would tempt me into staying in contact with my old life, thus giving him reason to unleash his uncle’s promises of torture.

I’ll pick apart his life bit by bit.

After giving myself a few minutes to release my sadness, in my own company and without interruption, I gather myself again. I sigh, rubbing the face of my phone as if Ace can feel this from miles away and understand my love for him is why I’m keeping us apart.

I miss you, too.

Making my way back in to Decklan, I throw the phone down on the bed and close my eyes as I hold him close. Wednesday night, if Vinnie makes good on his threat, the happiness and safety in the life I knew with Ace will be gone once and for all.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Ace

JOSEPH WAS WAITING for me at the airport when I landed this morning. Ten days have passed since I’ve heard from Cherry and although he’s talked to her and Decklan on the phone, he hasn’t seen either of them in person.

After I called to tell him I was on my way into town he decided, on his own, to hire a friend of his who works at the cop shop to do a background check on Vinnie Bartone. The results were nothing less than he had suspected.

Vinnie Bartone is a small-time crook, and he’s a monkey for his uncle, Marcus Gallo. The two run a small operation vested mostly in drug dealing through his club but dabble in prostitution and money laundering. The real concern is that several members of the Gallo family are suspected to be involved in a few unsolved “accidents” around the local area.

As we walk into Cherry’s parents’ house, I find Anna stitching with thread on the couch in the front room. Joseph doesn’t say anything to her as he motions me into the now-spare room where I’ll be staying until we see Cherry tomorrow.

Looking at Joseph as he stands next to me, I notice his tall frame looks gaunt. It’s apparent that this week took just as much of a toll on him as it did me. Although just meeting him the one time, I notice his face is paler and his eyes have sunken slightly. I drank whiskey all week to pacify my worry. It doesn’t appear that Joseph ate anything at all during his.

“I don’t want her to know I’m here, Joe. I’m going to the club tomorrow. Do you know if she’s working?”

“I can ask, but she works every Tuesday thru Sunday night. She should be there.” He pauses, making eye contact before continuing. “What is it you plan to do? I can’t say I’m not a little worried about you running yourself out there and finding trouble for her or you.”

Knowing he’s right and not listening to his reasoning are two entirely different things. Being in Cherry’s room, among her teenage possessions before her life took the violent turn, leaves my angry, protective instinct to overpower reasonable thinking.

“That friend of yours that works at the station, can he help?”

“No, afraid not. He wasn’t supposed to help me like he did. He’s not actually a cop. He’s a clerk who did me a favor. He knows Raegan, they went to high school together.”

This is of no help. I’m completely alone in this, and it’s not a good situation to be in. I have one alternative, but reaching out to those who can assist isn’t something I’m looking forward to.

“I’m gonna make a call. I need you to understand that what I’m doing may not be what she wants but that said, I need you to support me. This is important.”

“Ace, I can tell you now, because I couldn’t tell you then, but the day you brought Raegan home…” He stops as his emotions near the surface, threatening his bravery.

Once gathering himself, he continues. “That day felt like I was being given another chance. She looked happy and healthy, and all these years I hadn’t pictured her anything but dead. He ruined her and I let him.”

“You didn’t. He targeted her.”

Shockingly, he admits to meeting Vinnie all those years ago. “I shook his hand. I looked him in the eye and treated him like a man; an equal.” Dropping to his knees, I watch him crumble with confession. His breaths are uneven as he looks to me standing above him and I can only watch as tears start to fall from his face. “What kind of father misses that?”

Bending down, I rest my weight on my feet and as I put my hand on his shoulder, the sobs of grief and regret overtake him. “This isn’t your fault.” I don’t know what else to say to him. Part of me is glad he’s suffering, finally understanding the result of his ignorance, but I share in his regret. I let her down just as he did.

“I’m going out to make that call. Get yourself together. If I get her and she doesn’t want to be here, you’re going to need all your strength to help convince her this isn’t up for debate.”

As we stand, he wipes his eyes and nods his head to confirm he understands me. Looking around her room, he studies her things as if seeing them for the first time; books, notebooks, pens, and pencils litter any available space. “I can see why she loves you. You’ve done everything for her that I didn’t. One day, I hope she forgives me.”

Walking out the bedroom door, I turn and find him looking down in shame. “She forgave you a long time ago. Let the past go. There’s no reason to live where you’ll never make a difference. Your daughter taught me that.”

He nods, saying nothing in response. As I head toward the front door, I stop long enough to glance at Cherry’s mother. Anna stops her project briefly and looks at me; anger and disappointment taint her features. She doesn’t believe, as Joseph does, that Cherry is a person worth saving.

Setting her needle and thread in her lap, she mumbles under her breath and discharges her feelings about Cherry with a piercing arrogance. “You’re wasting time. She’s a whore. She’ll never be anything else.”

“Why do you hate her?”

“I don’t hate her. She’s my daughter. I just don’t like her, there’s a difference.”

“Is there? ‘Cause I’ve known you for about an hour and I fuckin’ hate you. No worry of difference to be had there.”

Disregarding my feelings for her, she continues as if she didn’t hear a word I said. “When she was little, she used to cry all the time. It was endless. She needed my attention every second. I tried to teach her patience and understanding so she wouldn’t always feel the need to be the center of attention. I must have failed because look where she’s at. She’s certainly the center of attention now.”

I hate her, so I explain that in words of contempt since this is all she truly understands. “I don’t say this nicely, and you can blame my parents for not teaching me ‘patience and understanding’, but lady, you’re a fucking cunt.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

She gasps loudly while grabbing her neck with her hand. She can visualize me strangling her all she wants. It doesn’t change my feelings for her in the least. In fact, I wish she’d strangle herself, saving everyone the trouble in silencing her.

Painting a look of disdain, she picks up her thread and starts back on her project as if this conversation never took place. “You and Raegan deserve each other.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve said since you’ve opened your goddamn mouth. So, thank you.” With my last thought voiced, I walk away.

That fuckin’ bitch and I will never be friends.

As I listen to the call go through, I feel my chest ache. I’m making the call to the only true family Cherry’s ever known and I’m calling to tell them I let her down. In the eyes of those I once called my brothers, this is an eternal sin and I should be punished. At this moment, though, I don’t fucking care.

“Hem.” I find immediate relief in his voice. It relaxes me. I hadn’t realized I was completely overtaken with fear.

Exhaling, I get the introductions over with. “It’s Ace.”

“Well, motherfucker, how are things? Cherry’s doing well, I hope.”

My admission shouldn’t surprise Hem of all people. “No, she’s not. I fucked up.”

“Fuck, Ace. Talk to me.”

“I’m in Vegas. I have something here, and I don’t think I can do it alone. I need your help and you said I could call. I’m calling.”

“Vegas? You were taking Cherry to Cali, how the fuck did you end up in Vegas?”

Rubbing my face, I continue to plead for help. “It’s a long story, Hem. If you’re willing to help, I can explain it but if not, please don’t waste my time.”

“Hood’s there, ya know? If you think you need help faster than I can offer, you can call him.”

Hood, a friend of Peril, isn’t enough. He’s tough and could assist, but I’m not completely comfortable with him as I am the others. “I need you and Shame.”

I hear him quietly exhale into the phone before responding to my plea. “You needing Shame… this is big, isn’t it?”

“I think so. Enough that I know I can’t do this alone.”

“Talk to me.”

After briefing Hem and then listening to him rip my ass as he always did in the past, I hang up and wait for him to call back. He’s going to talk to a few of the MC brothers and find out what kind of assistance they can offer.

After disconnecting the call, I make my way back into the house, cell phone in hand, and find Joseph sitting at the kitchen table, looking just as solemn as I left him a few minutes ago. I don’t have the strength or energy to coddle him, so I leave him be in search for a much-needed moment alone.

Walking into Cherry’s room, I close the door and sit on her bed. The urge to walk into that club, grab her and bring her back here to safety is consuming me. Reaching in my pocket, I pull out the guitar pick pendant I brought with me. My fingers trace the edges and as they do, I picture Cherry sitting on my bed waiting to give it to me.

I thought of you when I saw it and I wanted to get it, so just open it.

Opening my phone with urgency, I send a quick text to let her know I’m thinking about her. She won’t text me back. I’m unsure she’s ever even gotten any of my messages since she left.

Ace
04:26 p.m.
Thank you for the necklace. I don’t think I ever told you that. I miss you so fuckin’ much, Rae.

After sending the message, I stand and visually scan her room. Drawings hang from her walls, mixed with various posters of nothing in particular. She was free from darkness once, and I’m fighting to get her that again.

As I walk to her closet, I see a stack of compact discs scattered on the floor. Thumbing through them, I’m forced to admit a smile. She wasn’t messing with me when she explained her love of old music. Kenny Rogers, Neil Diamond, Barbra Streisand, and Elton John make up most of the collection.

The next time she wants to listen to this shit in my truck, the answer is yes, always yes.

Pulling me from recent memories, my phone sits ringing on Rae’s bed. The caller ID display says unknown, but I know who this is. This is going to be another well-deserved ass-chew from a man who hates me but tolerates me all the same.

I answer on a sigh, dreading the voice at the other end. “Ace.”

“You can’t possibly be this fuckin’ stupid.”

Yep, called it. Shame Carrick would kill me if he thought for one moment my life on Earth didn’t matter to anyone. His distaste from me goes as far back as the day I became a prospect in Peril. I was a different person then. I had a habit of starting trouble wherever I went.

After Shame found out my involvement in Hem’s disappearance, he went from hating me to strongly disliking me. However, when Shame Carrick dislikes you, it still borders on whether he wants you alive or dead. He knows of my sister and Bean, so I’m sure this is the only reason he lets me continue to remain upright and breathing.

“Fuck, do you have to start this shit right now?”

“Fuck yes, I do, goddamn it. She’s been through enough, don’t you think?” Shame has a tendency to explain the obvious in a way that makes you question if you didn’t already know it.

“Are you helping or not?”

“For her, I am. For you, I am
not
. We’re en route. Girls are coming, too. Thought I’d let you know, Sadey included.”

Fuck me, this is
not
happening. I haven’t given much thought to her in weeks, and now finding she’s on her way with the boys, I want to vomit.

“Okay.”

“Ace, I swear to Christ, you so much as look at her…” Again, Shame Carrick explaining the obvious.

“It’s done, so stop, all right? She’s not where my head’s at.”

“And your heart? That still with her?”

“No.”

“Well, thank fuck for small insights then. Hem’s getting Honor and Gunner briefed, we’re flyin’. Mind you, mother fucker, I hate flyin’ and I’m doing this…”

Enough. The man is relentless when making his point. “For her, not me. Shame, I get it.”

“Good.”

The phone call disconnects before I can ask any questions at all.

Putting the CDs back as they were, my phone chimes with an incoming text. My first hope is that it’s Cherry, but as I read it my hopes instantly fade.

Hem 04:38 p.m.
Don’t walk in that club without us. Sit tight and don’t think, Ace. Text me her dad’s address, and we’ll meet you there tomorrow afternoon before four.