Destined to Change (8 page)

“I probably better finish this…uh, don’t wanna let it go to waste.” He scooted over away from me and we didn’t talk much after that. Jaxon was too busy shoveling food down his throat. That man definitely had a healthy appetite.

When we were done at the restaurant we started to head back toward the club. As we were walking out of the restaurant Jaxon reached over and laced his fingers through mine. It felt so nice to walk down the street holding his hand. His hand was so warm, and comforting. These small things he was doing were melting my heart. I felt sad when he had to use his hand to take his wallet out and pay our cover for RELICS.

This place was huge and so bright.  A strobe light was spinning around the dance floor, making everything shine. There was a huge bar all along the right side of the club. The bar was made out of ice. It was literally and figuratively cool.

The place was packed, wall-to-wall people. I always kinda felt like I was still young and I tried to be hip, but being here made me feel old and outdated. The dance floor was huge, and the tiles were all different colors. It looked like a spazzed out version of a checkers board. I honestly wondered if any of these kids had been carded. They all looked like they had several years to go before they turned twenty-one. And the way they were dancing – they were practically having sex on the dance floor. It was like a traffic accident I didn’t want to watch, but I couldn’t look away. It reminded me of an orgy, not that I had ever been to an orgy, but it’s what I assumed one would look like.

Since there were no seats available at the bar, Jaxon ordered us a couple of drinks and we headed for a group of small tables nestled along the back wall. Jaxon placed his hand on the small of my back and led me to an empty table. His touch sent shivers up my spine.

We sat across from each other and tried to talk, but it was so loud that we couldn’t hear ourselves think. We sat there for quite a while just watching everything going on out on the dance floor. There was this blonde skank rubbing all over some guy right in front of us. She had on a super short, strapless black leather dress that zipped up the side. The guy’s eyes were literally bugging out of his head. She was falling out of that dress and he was enjoying it. I couldn’t quit staring. I finally tore my gaze away and looked over to Jaxon. He was staring at me. He licked his lower lip, and I had to wonder what he was thinking.  Had he seen the show I had been watching?  Did he expect me to dance with him like that?  Uh, that wasn’t going to happen.

I had a couple glasses of wine with dinner, and I wasn’t sure what these drinks were that Jaxon got us, but wow! They were yummy.  I was on my third yummy drink, when Jaxon stood up, leaned down and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Wanna dance?”

I shook my head, furrowing my eyebrows. I really didn’t want to get out there with all those...those...
kids.
Of course they probably weren’t really that much younger than me, but they were really making me feel ancient. And I was a little buzzed. I couldn’t dance when I was sober, let alone when I’d been drinking.

“Sorry, but I won’t take no for an answer.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the dance floor. It was a good thing he had a good grip on me, because my knees were wobbly.

We were packed in like sardines. The song that was playing was so sexy. The beat was slow, but the rhythm was intoxicating. I had never heard it before, but all of the people dancing were just rubbing against each other.

Jaxon put his hands on my hips and spun me until my back was against his chest. He started to move and I decided to just let the music take over. I enjoyed pressing up against him. I reached up and put my arms around his neck. This felt so good. I found myself hoping that the song would never end. But eventually it did. When it ended we didn’t stop dancing, but Jaxon did turn me around so that I was facing him. His eyes,
wow
, he had the most amazing eyes. I could look into them all day. They were brown with the most beautiful flecks of gold through them. The gold made them sparkle. I could see in his eyes that he was a little buzzed too.

When he pressed me against him, I could feel
him
against my thigh. He was excited - and to be honest, I was too. I was silently begging him to kiss me. He leaned down and was so close to my lips that I could feel his breath, and then he stopped. He kinda shook his head, placed his hand in mine, and led me back to our table.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. We made small talk. He even talked about the weather....
the weather.
I didn’t understand what had happened. I knew he was
excited
so I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t kiss me. Twice…he had two openings to kiss me and he didn’t do it either time.

When he took me home, he walked me to the door and didn’t say anything but “goodnight” and “I’ll see ya tomorrow.” Talk about mixed signals - even with my very limited experience with men I could see them.

I didn’t hear a word from Jaxon all day Saturday.  It’s not like I sat at home waiting for him to call, but I did stay home all day, just in case. He was at church on Sunday, and he came to my parents’ house for lunch. He didn’t have much to say to me. We mostly just made small talk. He even mentioned the weather again. I started to think that maybe I had imagined it. Maybe there weren’t any sparks there.

The kids fell asleep after lunch, so I decided I would take a ride out through the property and check on the most recent shipment of cattle. It was a strong rule in our family that we didn’t work on Sunday’s, but to me this didn’t count as work.

I went home and changed clothes, and then I jumped on one of the four-wheelers and headed out. I was riding along, looking out over our vast property and feeling lucky that it was all ours. Knowing one day Sammy and Mags would inherit it. I couldn’t help but be proud of the accomplishments I had made since taking over the management of the farm. I had handled the acquisition of most of the acreage and cattle.  I couldn’t even imagine all of the amazing things Sammy and Mags would be able to do when they took it over. I also couldn’t help but be happy that the property was vast and they could live on opposite sides.

As I was enjoying my daydream about the future, I hit a huge rock, veered off and hit a tree.  Just my luck. I wasn’t hurt, but the front of the four-wheeler was caved in a little and there was smoke coming out of it, which I could only assume was not a good sign.

While I was saying a few choice words to the tree and the four-wheeler I heard someone say, “Need some help?”

Jaxon, of course, my pierced, tattooed, knight in shining armor. He had on an old pair of jeans that were worn at the knees and a wife-beater, his tattoos were prominently displayed.  It was a pretty warm day and he had been working, which we weren’t supposed to be doing on Sunday, so he was sweating just enough to sparkle. Oh my god the man was actually sparkling!

Realizing I sounded like a damsel in distress, I said, “It seems as though I do.”

He walked around to the front of the four-wheeler. He tinkered with something under the hood and told me he would bring a trailer down to pick it up later. Then he climbed onto his four-wheeler and motioned to me. “Hop on.”

I climbed on behind him and I had to hold on, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on tight. I told myself that, in order to be safe, I had to hold on tight; it made perfect sense.

We rode all around the property. Stopping a few times to fix some fence and help a few cattle get back with the rest of the herd. Before I knew it, it was getting dark and then I felt it – one lone raindrop. We raced back to the barn, but we were too late. The skies opened up and that one raindrop turned into sheets of rain falling down on us.

We were soaking wet. Jaxon tried to get us back as fast as possible, but in his haste he ran into a huge puddle and the four-wheeler sank in. He climbed off and asked me to try to gun it while he pushed so we could get it unstuck.

He stepped behind the four-wheeler and started to push while I accelerated. About that time mud flew all over him! He was covered in it, the four-wheeler was beyond stuck, and I couldn’t quit laughing.

“You think this is funny, huh? I don’t like it when you laugh at me. Come here, babe.” Jaxon grabbed me, pressing his body to mine as he covered me in mud. The mud didn’t bother me though, because it meant that Jaxon was pressed firmly against me. And then the sparks flew. I definitely hadn’t imagined that spark.

He looked down at me as we stood in the middle of a rainstorm, and I heard him whisper to himself, “Fuck it.” Then he took my mouth with such force that we fell into the mud. We both laughed until we couldn’t anymore because our tongues were too busy dancing. His hands were under my t-shirt and on my breasts before I even knew what was happening. Wow, he could kiss and he felt amazing. He pulled my wet shirt over my head, and I helped him get his off.  He pulled the cups of my bra down under my breasts. His lips trailed down my neck, and then he took my nipple into his mouth. I almost had an orgasm right then. I hadn’t been touched like that in ten years. Ten very, very long years. I couldn’t get enough of him.

He sucked and then he bit me.
Wow!
I liked it. It felt amazing. I couldn’t help it though when I cried out as he leaned over and bit my other nipple.

“Shit, did I hurt you?” Jaxon panicked.

“No, it feels so good - please don’t stop.”

He looked up at me, gave me that sexy ass smirk and nipped one nipple, while he squeezed the other between his fingertips.

With one hand I started rubbing his chest and with the other I was pulling at his jeans. I really didn’t know what came over me. I didn’t know if it was the rain or the way Jaxon was kissing a trail down further and further until he found the one place that really needed his attention, but I was a freaking hot mess.

He looked up at me through those gorgeous long eyelashes, silently asking me if it was okay. I nodded and he pulled my wet jeans off and then my panties were gone. He kissed my inner thigh and then trailed kisses down to my sex. He started tracing circles on my clit with his tongue. I was so close, I was moaning as I arched my back. Jaxon inserted his finger and then two fingers, in and out, over and over again until I exploded with a loud scream, “Jaxon – Oh my god - Jaxon!”

He climbed up and kissed me, it was so soft and loving. I knew at that moment that I was falling for this guy, and not just because of the mind blowing orgasm he just gave me, there was just something about him. I really wanted to make him feel as great as he made me feel, but when I started to unzip his jeans, he stopped me. “This was for you. I just wanted to make you feel like I've felt every time I’ve looked at you.” With those words, my heart melted. 

Sometime during the last few minutes the rain had stopped and the sun was shining.  I had to ask him, “Why didn’t you kiss me on our date?”

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. “You have no idea how much I wanted to. But you had been drinking, and I didn’t want our first real kiss to happen when you were tipsy.” I leaned toward him and kissed him softly. “Thanks for that. This first kiss was pretty amazing.” Uh-oh, I was definitely falling for this guy.

Jaxon

Our date had been perfect.  It was actually the best date I had ever been on.  I had two opportunities to kiss her.  And I wasted both of them.  I told myself that it was because she had been drinking and I didn’t want our first real kiss to be when she was buzzed.  But the real reason why I didn’t kiss her was because I knew I shouldn’t kiss her.  Uncle Jake had warned me away from her.  He told me she had heartbreak in her past and then she confirmed it when she told me about Declan.  I should’ve stayed away from her.  I shouldn’t have asked her out.  But I wanted to.  There was just something different about her.  She was so sweet and just, I don’t know, different than anyone I had ever known. 

I decided after our date, that I had to keep my ass away from her.  She deserved so much better than me.  We didn’t speak on the way home much.  I didn’t dream of offering her a kiss goodnight, and I didn’t call her the next day.  I knew I was being an ass, but I felt like that was the way it needed to be.  When she found out about my history, she would run away screaming.  This way we would just avoid all that.

Uncle Jake asked me to take one of the four-wheelers out and do a field check.  Just to see if anything was going on with any of the cattle or anything.  I was coming up over one of the hills when I saw her.  Loralei.  She was so damn sexy.  She was cussing and screaming at her four-wheeler that had smoke barreling out of it.  I drove down the hill to see if I could help her out.

“Need some help?” I asked.

She responded, “It seems as though I do.”

I walked to the front of the four-wheeler and quickly assessed the damage.  She had literally blown a gasket.  Poor thing…it was gonna take a lot to get it back in working order. 

“I’ll have to bring a trailer down to pick it up later.”

Then I climbed on my four-wheeler, motioned to her, and said, “Hop on.”

She climbed on behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. 
Holy shit!
She felt so damn good and she was holding on so tight.
No Jaxon, this is not a good idea.  You are screwed in the head and you will hurt her.
I told myself this, but I had a strong tendency to not listen to myself.

We rode around the property, stopping a couple of times to fix some fence. It started to get dark, so I was trying to get us back to the barn fast.  All of a sudden it started raining.  I sped up and just as I did I drove right into a huge puddle and the damn four-wheeler sank in.  The rain was falling in sheets, and we were soaking wet.  I was pissed.  I jumped off of the four-wheeler and got behind it to push it out of the puddle.  “Loralei, I need you to gun it when I say the word.”  I was pushing and I yelled at her, “Now.”

Mud flew up all over me.  I was fucking covered in it.  And what was she doing?  Laughing her ass off.  God, she was so cute when she laughed at me.  I told her I didn’t like it, but secretly it was becoming one of my favorite things.