Destined to Change (7 page)

“Mom, I really need to talk, can you come over?”

Immediately she assumed something was horribly wrong. “Oh no, what’s wrong, honey?”

Well, mom the world is coming to an end. This hot as hell guy that you forced me to spend the afternoon with had the nerve to kiss me while I was practically molesting him with my eyes.
..this was what I wanted to say. Instead I said, “Mom, everything is fine. I just need to talk to you about something, please come over.”

Within a few minutes, mom was standing in my kitchen, begging me to tell her what had happened. I couldn’t help what happened next. As much as I didn’t want to cry in front of her, the tears wouldn’t stop once they started. She pulled me into her arms and told me everything would be okay, but I didn’t think I really believed her.

I explained to her what had happened. She didn’t laugh at me, she didn’t give me the PPL, she didn’t look like she felt sorry for me, she just looked at me with love.

“Honey, you have to move on from Declan. It has been ten years since the accident, and you’re not happy. I can’t stand to see you like this. Please just give Jaxon a chance. He might not be the right guy for forever, but maybe he is the right guy for right now.”

That last sentence struck a chord - I liked Jaxon, and I wanted to get to know him better.  I wanted him in my life, right now. It didn’t have to be forever. I believed in my heart that since Declan had died I only remained on the earth to raise the twins.  That’s why I didn’t die in the accident.  It didn’t matter if I was happy, as long as they were. They were all I needed, and they kept me close to Declan’s memory. But Jaxon was starting to change my thinking.

Once I calmed down, my mom went home with the understanding that I would take a chance on Jaxon.

Chapter 4

Loralei

A few weeks passed and I saw Jaxon almost every day. We would discuss farm business over coffee in the barn office every morning. I would sometimes eat lunch with the farmhands, and Jaxon and I would always sit close to each other.  Once in awhile, our legs would touch under the table. That would send a shiver up my spine. It was like we couldn’t get close enough.

We flirted innocently, well mostly, and I really thought about what my mom had said. He may not be my forever, but he could be perfect for my right now.

The other farmhands and Jake were always teasing Jaxon about his “fancy-pants”, heavy metal t-shirts, and of course his piercings and tattoos. He took it all in stride, but I could tell that some of the things they would say to him would embarrass him. They called him “Stud” because of his many piercings, and I really think they were kinda jealous of all the attention he was getting around town. Women were definitely taking notice of Jaxon. We didn’t see many guys like him in this little town.

We were all sitting around the table in the barn office eating lunch on that Wednesday afternoon.  Jaxon just kept staring at his plate. He looked like he was scared to eat what was on it.

I leaned over. “What do you mean you don’t know what greens are? How is that possible?” I was trying not to laugh my ass off at him.

“Woman, I have never even heard of greens. What exactly are they? Looks like spinach, and I’m definitely not Popeye.” He continued to stare at his plate.

I couldn’t control my laughter. He finally took a bite of the collard greens fried with bacon and onions, and he smiled.  Shoveling a huge forkful in his mouth, he said, “These are awesome!”

I realized it was going to be fun introducing Jaxon to my country ways. He grew up in the city and he was definitely a “city boy”. He had only been on the farm a little over a month. He hadn’t really been able to experience much since he’d been here.

After lunch, Jaxon followed me back to my office and he looked really nervous. He was wringing his hands and I could tell he was sweating. He walked in behind me and shut the door behind us. I wasn’t sure what was going on, and I was a little nervous now too. I tried to stifle a chuckle at him, but I didn’t know what was coming next. I finally broke the silence, “Jaxon, can I help you with something?”

“Um, I have a question to ask you, Loralei. I was wondering, would you like to go out with me Friday night?” He finally made eye contact when he said, “Friday night”.

Oh my God!
Jaxon was asking me out.
On a date?
Whoa!
I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t want to say yes, because if I was being honest with myself, my feelings for him kinda scared me. But I didn't want to say no either, because my lady parts needed to be happy and Jaxon sure could make them dance just by looking at me with those gorgeous brown eyes. I had also promised my mom I would take a chance on him.

I had to answer him. I had been standing there staring into his eyes while I was having this conversation in my head. “Yes, Jaxon, I would love to go out with you on Friday. I’ll just need to make sure my parents can watch the twins.” Yeah, right, like that would be a problem. My mom would be jumping for joy when I told her.

Jaxon finally took a breath. I couldn’t believe how nervous he was and how relieved he seemed now that I had said yes. He then placed a light kiss on my cheek as he left my office. I felt like one of those silly love sick teenagers who say, “I’ll never wash this cheek again.”  I felt silly for feeling that way, but it was kinda true.

Thank goodness it was already Wednesday when he asked me out. I don’t think I could’ve survived having to wait any longer; my nerves were about to overtake me. My mom had of course jumped on the opportunity to babysit.

When Friday finally rolled around, Emma came over to help me get ready for my big date.

“What are you planning on wearing tonight, Lor?” Emma asked as she held up my old Hank Jr. t-shirt between her fingers like it was the most disgusting thing she had ever seen.

“I’m not sure. That’s why I asked you to come over. Now, help me pick something out,” I said, sounding a little annoyed with her hatred of most of my clothes.

She gave me that devilish smirk. I’m not gonna lie, that smirk had always scared me. I saw that smirk right before she almost got us kicked out of school in the seventh grade for filling Mrs. Edgeller’s desk drawer with shaving cream. “Well, luckily, I anticipated this problem and brought you some options from my closet.”

That meant she had brought something that I probably wouldn’t be caught dead in. She pulled out a bright red dress that was so short it would have left nothing to the imagination. “Uh, that’s a no. Next.” I looked at her annoyed. Then she pulled out a little black dress that I swear to God was cut all the way down to the navel. I didn’t even have to say anything on that one. She could tell by my stance and expression that she better just put that right back in her magic skank bag!

Finally, she pulled out a light pink ruffle skirt. It was so cute, a little short, but definitely something I would wear. “Okay, this I might be able to work with. What should I wear with it?”

“I would wear it with a white tank and this.” She pulled out a gorgeous short hot pink denim jacket with some rhinestones on the breast pockets. So country, and so definitely me. Ems had always known me so well. She knew I would never wear her first two picks.

After she helped me get ready, she headed home, and I almost wore a dent in the floor pacing in front of the door as I waited for Jaxon to arrive.
I couldn’t remember the last time I was this nervous. Jaxon and I had been flirting and spending time together on the farm, so this was the logical next step. But what if he expected more? What if he thought we would have sex tonight? I definitely wasn’t ready for that.

When he finally got to my house I didn’t even wait for the doorbell to ring. I heard his truck pull up and I opened the door. He hopped out of the truck and my heart skipped a beat. He looked absolutely gorgeous. He had on dark stonewashed jeans, and a dark grey button up shirt, with the sleeves rolled up - just enough for me to see some of his tattoos - and black motorcycle boots. His hair looked like he had run his hands through it a few times. About the time I had that thought he reached up and did it.

I giggled to myself.

“What’s so funny, babe?” He asked.

Oh my goodness, he just called me babe. The butterflies were going crazy in my stomach.

“Nothing. You’re just really hot - uh, I mean here - really here.” I had totally just stuck my foot in my mouth.

He just chuckled and reached his hand out for me, “Ready to go?”

“Sure. Where are we heading to?”

“It’s a surprise. By the way, uh, you look really, really hot tonight,” he said as he looked me up and down and then smiled when he reached my eyes.

A blush crept up my cheeks. And my lady parts were definitely dancing. I didn’t know how I was going to survive the night. We headed out of town toward the city. It was about a forty-five minute drive into Springfield. 

For the first thirty minutes of the trip, we didn’t speak. Jaxon held onto the wheel and didn’t take his eyes off of the road. I was really enjoying his taste in music though.  He was playing lots of classic rock. 

I was staring out the window, taking in the scenery when I heard it. The sexiest voice was singing - in the car - it wasn’t coming from the radio - it was Jaxon. The song playing was
Wonderful Tonight
by Eric Clapton, and he was hitting all the right notes. His voice was so sultry and low. I couldn’t take my eyes off of his lips.

All I wanted to do was kiss those beautiful lips. When the song was over he glanced over at me. Our eyes met, he licked his lips, and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was.

I took a deep breath and said, “Wow, you can really sing.”

“Well, don’t sound so surprised. You know there is more to me than tattoos and piercings. I’m not a complete badass, just about half.” He smirked, and damn it was sexy.

“Just half, huh? You’re voice did surprise me, it’s kinda beautiful...oh, and super sexy.” I added my own sexy little smirk. I didn’t know what had come over me. I didn’t say things like that. And a smirk? I was seriously losing my mind.

The rest of the ride was pretty quiet. When we got into town he drove toward downtown and pulled up to a valet at RELICS a new dance club. I had seen an article in the local paper about it, but I didn’t think it would be on my list of places to go anytime in the near future. Jaxon took my hand in his, and we started walking toward the club.

Downtown Springfield was such a pretty place. There were all these little bars, restaurants, and quaint shops. I didn’t come here often, but I when I did I always ate at Luisa’s Italian Bistro. The fettuccini there was literally to die for. Like, I seriously could die happy after eating a bowl of it. I was surprised when we walked right past the entrance to RELICS.

“Weren’t we supposed to get in that line?” I asked while pointing to the line in front of RELICS.

“I thought we could grab something to eat before we go dancing. Your mom recommended a place for us. I have reservations at seven o’clock, so we better hurry.” I was so excited when I saw where we were going - Luisa’s Italian Bistro. My mom really was an awesome lady.

We walked in and Jaxon strutted up to the hostess desk to let them know we were there. The hostess seated us near the back of the restaurant in a secluded little corner booth. I slid in on one side and Jaxon slid in on the other. We immediately met in the middle. It was like we were drawn to each other with some sort of magnet. I couldn’t sit there and not be close enough to smell him, to feel him, to touch him.

The waitress came over to our table and took our drink orders. Then Jaxon ordered for us. He ordered me my favorite meal of fettuccini alfredo with extra sauce. Apparently, my mom had given him some pretty strong “date” suggestions.

We chatted while we waited for our food. It was so nice to have a totally adult conversation. I love my kids with all my heart, but sometimes it’s nice to talk about grown-up things with another grown-up. It also didn’t hurt that this grown-up was amazingly sexy and really trying to get on my good side. He didn’t need to try quite so hard. He was pretty much there.

“You know I’m not a good dancer. Why would you want to take me to a dance club?”

“Well, first of all, I know you can dance. Everybody can dance. Secondly, I can’t wait to get you on the dance floor and hold you tight. And last but not least, did I mention I can’t wait to hold you tight and sway your body with the music?”  There was that “melt your panties” look of his. 
Holy hell
- I was blushing, again.

“Will you sing to me?”

“You wanna do some karaoke? I’d never turn that down.” He said with a grin.

“You know that’s not what I meant. Your voice is amazing. Are you in a band? Or do you sing professionally?”

He let out a big belly laugh. “Uh, no honey, I am nowhere near good enough for that. I just like to sing. Always have. My mom used to sing Elvis songs to me all the time. She was literally obsessed with that man. I swear my first words were ‘thank you, thank you very much’,” he said that last part with his best Elvis impersonation. It really wasn’t half bad - he even had the lip curl down.

The waitress appeared at our table and delivered our food. Jaxon had ordered lasagna, but I think he ate more of my fettuccini than his own food.

“Um, excuse me. Are you going to eat your own food or would you just like to finish mine?” I chuckled.

His mouth was full of my fettuccini as he mumbled, “Oh, sorry. Yours is just so damn good. You never should have let me taste it. I can order you some more if you're still hungry.”

I pushed my plate over to him and moved his lasagna to the side. “No, that’s okay. Go ahead and finish mine. I’m full.”

“Thanks for sharing.  It’s really delicious.” He said.

I looked over and he had alfredo sauce on his chin.  I wasn’t sure what to do.  I tried to kinda rub my chin, to show him that he needed to do the same.  But he wasn’t picking up on my hints.  Finally, I said, “Uh, you have a little somethin’ on your chin.” I leaned over and used my napkin to wipe his chin off.  Our eyes met and there was that weird electric thing again.  His eyes were smoldering and I realized we had both leaned in to each other.  We were so close and I had kinda forgot about wiping his chin, and was just holding the napkin in place. He licked his lips, and I just about lost it.  I wanted him to kiss me again.  It had scared me to death at Dave’s Place, but this was different.  I wanted him to kiss me – now.  He grabbed my hand and placed it on the table.